To the true believers, it’s a sign. The much-prophesied end of times are nigh. Time to “pack up the babies and grab the old ladies cause everyone goes, cause everyone knows.”
In a stunning 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court has come down in favor of gay marriage nationwide. The landmark victory for gay rights has struck down state prohibitions on same-sex marriage as violative of the Constitution.
“God will surely punish us,” was the refrain heard throughout religious communities. While some believers actually heralded the end of the world, others were not so ready to go. Many hedged their bets by rushing out to their nearest supermarket to stock up on food and water in the event it’s a long, drawn-out process.
“If the world is really coming to an end,” said Wilbur Scruggs,” I guess there ain’t much to do about it. I am just going to live every day as it’s my last. Heck, I am walking in to my boss’s office tomorrow and tell him to take his lousy job and shove it!”
Wilbur’s wife, Sally Mae, had a different take on what some Christians believe will be the second coming of Jesus. “I just thank god we won’t have to pay our mortgage anymore on this rundown piece of crap we call home.”
It was only a few years ago radio evangelist, Harold Camping, predicted that Jesus Christ would return to Earth on May 21, 2011. This was after he had predicted Judgment Day would occur on or about September December 6, 1994. It appears the great visionary may have be slightly off on his dates. Not by much, mind you. Unfortunately Camping died December 15, 2013, never to see his prophecy come true. Well, maybe.