While the other Republican presidential candidates were preparing for next week’s first presidential debate, Donald trump was off visiting his golf course in Scotland. A local reporter asked him whether his time might be better spent boning up for the debate. Trump replied,” Hey, I’m not a debater. I am who I am. I might do great or I might stink. Doesn’t matter, people will love me either way.”
“I’m way ahead in the polls,“ said Trump, ”with a double-digit lead over that pea brain Bush. He’s the one who needs to be worried. I went to Wharton, you know, and graduated with straight A’s. And I’m going to let you in on a little secret… I never opened a book, never studied for a test. I’m what they call a natural genius.”
“While the other losers in the field may be book smart, I am street smart. That’s what people love about me. I’m real, authentic, tell it like it is,” Trump added. Another reporter asked Trump if “telling it like it is” wasn’t Chris Christie’s campaign slogan. “Who do you think he stole it from! My lawyers would normally be looking into a lawsuit by now but it doesn’t look like Gov. Bridgegate will even make it to the debate stage. What’s he got, something like 0%?”
Trump went on to explain his strategy. “Look, I learned a lot from that Bush-Gore debate. You remember, the one where Gore came off as the goody two-shoes professor and Bush looked like the C student he was at Yale. OK, so Bush thought Africa was a country, thought the leader of Vietnam was Yao Ming. Didn’t matter. Voters felt Bush was the more genuine guy. And the rest is history.”
Trump later let that same reporter in on another little secret, “My favorite philosopher, George Carlin, once said, ‘never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.’ Now that’s strictly off the record. Got it?”
Natural genius, indeed!