Adding excitement to the thaw in US-Cuban relations after more than a half century of Cold War estrangement, former Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. The stunning announcement was made at Castro’s oceanfront retirement home, Casa de Manana. Political observers in both countries are baffled by the 89 year old’s intervention into the 2016 presidential contest.
“I think he’s a little loco,” offered his younger brother (84) and current Cuban dictator, Raul. “He hasn’t been right for a long time. He still thinks the CIA is out to assassinate him. Just last week he asked when Nikita Khrushchev is sending those damn nuclear missiles to the island.”
Many Cuban journalists are reporting that this odd turn of events just confirms what many islanders already think, “que ha perdido la cabeza!” which translates to, “the man has lost his mind!”
But a few old time contemporaries of the frail dictator have proposed a cogent rationale for Castro’s endorsement.
“Chico,” as Castro is known to his closest friends,” always liked the Clintons. He is especially fond of Bubba. He once told me that because of Bill Clinton, our cigar sales jumped 33% in 1998. While we’re communists, that kind of sales increase is still something to be proud of,” said Manny Rubio, who, by the way, insisted there is no family relationship with Republican presidential candidate, Marco Rubio.
“You know Chico,” continued Rubio, “had a good time with all that Clinton imbroglio, you know, impeachment. El Presidente has a great sense of humor. He kept referring to Bubba’s creative use of a cigar as ‘la segunda crisis de los misiles en Cuba’ which, in your language translates to, ‘the second Cuban missile crisis!”
Bernie Sanders did not take Castro’s endorsement of Clinton well. “If he was going to endorse anyone, it should have been me. I’m the closest thing to a communist in the race!.”