After being stroked, coaxed and cajoled into accepting a job he didn’t want, the new Speaker of the House, Rep, Paul Ryan, is complaining the job “stinks” … literally!
It appears outgoing Speaker, John Boehner, was so addicted to his cigs he could not go outside his office for a smoke, as mandated by federal law. So he smoked up the office inherited by Ryan.
An avid runner and self-described health-nut, the new House Speaker says he cannot put up with the stench. Speaking to NBC’s Chuck Todd of “Meet The Press, “ Ryan said, “They have these ozone machines, apparently, that you can detoxify the environment [with], but I’m going to have to work on the carpeting in here. You know if you got to a hotel room or get a rental car that’s been smoked? That’s what this smells like.”
Upon further inspection of his new digs, Ryan noticed several whiskey stains on the drapes and carpeting. “Looks like I will have to put in for a complete remodel,” said Ryan. “You know cigarette smoke can permeate walls, light fixtures and furniture.”
“I’m sure the taxpayers won’t mind the expense,” Ryan said. “It will me part of a new beginning; a fresh start with a fresh coat of paint, if you will.”
Ryan has gone out of his way to say he will be a different kind of Speaker than Boehner. “I will be more open to the wishes of my caucus but I will not cater to the radical few,” said Ryan. To prove his point, the second thing Ryan did after complaining about the office smell was to announce he would not be working with the White House on immigration reform any time soon; well, at least while Barack Obama is still around.
“Look, I think it would be a ridiculous notion to try and work on an issue like this with a president we simply cannot trust on this issue,” Ryan said. “He tried to go it alone, circumventing the legislative process with his executive orders.”
A small group of House Democrats is floating a petition to have John Boehner personally pay for Ryan’s office renovation. “After all,” said a House member who chose to remain anonymous, “ he broke the law and caused the office to reek. Why should John Q. Public be left holding the bag?”
Considering all the perks the former Speaker will receive upon leaving office, paying for the mess he created would be a small price to pay for violating the “no-smoking” rule, passed in 2008, for all federal buildings.
It appears Ryan is on track to getting the foul smell out of his room. His challenge will be to do the same with the entire House.
Photo | alan.com