Many believe Rafael Edward Cruz (aka Ted Cruz) will never be president because he is ineligible to run for the office. They believe since Cruz was not born in the U.S., but Canada, he is disqualified from serving as Commander in Chief. While this is a legitimate concern, it does not make the list of top five reasons why the Cuban-Canadian, senor Cruz, will never see the inside of the White House other than as a guest.
Here are the Top Five reasons why Ted Cruz will never be president:
- In high school, he was voted most likely to be a sleazy, sneaky, sweaty, unscrupulous douchebag adult.
- As a once budding actor, he auditioned for the role of Grandpa Munster, sans make up, but was rejected as too scary.
- His college roommate at Princeton slept, each night, clutching a large cross and wearing a clove of garlic around his neck.
- His barber has confirmed the numbers 666 are visible on his scalp.
- There just aren’t enough low-information, low-IQ, racist, xenophobic, Bible-hugging, gun-toting voters out there.
Yes, Cruz may become the Republican presidential nominee. Reason #5 only applies to a general election. There are more than enough misguided and misinformed Republican voters for Cruz to secure the GOP nomination.
Photo | bustle.com