Jeb Bush is not taking his humiliating defeat for the Republican presidential nomination lying down. He is taking it standing up. Asked what he would do next now that his dream of becoming president of the United States has been crushed, Bush replied… stand up comedy.
“People on the campaign trail seemed to like a lot of the stuff I was saying. They thought it was funny. In fact, after many of my speeches people would routinely come up to me and tell me my candidacy was a joke,” said the former Governor of Florida.” I can’t do what George did, you know, get into painting. I’m not as talented that way.”
When asked if his comedy routine would involve political topics, Jeb replied, “Of course. That’s what I know and love.” Jeb tried out a few jokes he is working on.
“Ted Cruz hurts his arm after falling off his bike. He goes to his doctor and the doctor says he thinks he will need surgery. Cruz says he wants a second opinion. The doctor says, ‘OK, you’re ugly!’ BadaBing!” exclaims Jeb.
“How about this, if Rubio becomes president he might be the first one to ever get proofed at a foreign state dinner. I got a million of ‘em!” said Bush in his best Jimmy Durante.
The plan for Bush is to put together a one-hour routine that he could test out at the many retirement communities in Florida. If he’s successful there, he will take his show on a national tour.
The working title for the tour is, “The ‘Please Clap’ Jeb Bush Tour.”
“Donald Trump’s hotels are so exclusive, Room Service has an unlisted number!” Bush continued. “Ben Carson gave a patient six months to live. The patient said he couldn’t pay. So he gives him another six months.”
Like his big brother, it took public opprobrium for Jeb! to finally find the thing he was most suited for.
If all works out, could a TV comedy series be far behind?
(AP Photo/Jim Cole)