A group of loyal Donald Trump supporters, otherwise known as “sheeple*,” recently penned a manifesto outlining why they are supporting the real estate mogul turned reality TV personality turned major political star.
Here is the document:
WE THE PEOPLE of the United States in order to make this country great again hereby pledge our unwavering support for Donald J. Trump for president of the United States. The reasons for our strong support are as follow:
- He is not a politician. Because he has not been corrupted by political experience, he is the one who can lead our nation at this difficult time in its history.
- He is not beholden to Big Money. Because he has his own money, and is a billionaire, he cannot be bought. He doesn’t need any more money.
- He will build a huge wall. Because he is a builder, he will erect the highest wall ever built and make Mexico pay for it.
- He will keep Muslims out of the country. Because we do not know who the terrorists and non-terrorists are, he will keep all Muslims out.
- He will bring back jobs. Because he is a great businessman and negotiator, he will convince companies that left the United States for foreign countries to come back.
- He does not care about political correctness. Because he is not a politician, he will level with the American people by telling it like it is.
- He will rebuild the military. Because he is a strong leader, he will strengthen our military and defeat ISIS by taking away its oil fields.
- He will get rid of Obamacare. Because he wants all Americans to have healthcare, he will repeal Obamacare and replace it with something which he will tell us about after he is elected.
- He will deport all 11.5 million illegal immigrants. Because most illegal immigrants are criminals, he will round them up and send them home. They have no rights because they are illegal.
- He is against gun control. Because he is a staunch defender of the second amendment, he will not sign any law that will regulate or limit our Constitutional right. He knows guns are an intrinsic part of the American identiy.
While this article is tongue-in-cheek, every reason listed in this fake manifesto for supporting Trump is real!
Photo | businessinsider.com
*People unable to think for themselves. Followers. Lemmings. Those with no cognitive ablilities of their own.” – urbandictionary.com