The presumptive Republican presidential nominee, Donald Trump, has announced sales of his “Make American Great Again” hats have just crossed the $4 million mark. The marketing genius humbly admitted he is stunned by the success of the campaign headgear.
“I’m amazed but so proud of the job my people did with these hats,” said Trump.
When asked what he thought accounted for the hat’s big success, Trump replied, “It’s the message. We need to make this country great again. We have to start winning again. Been losing for way too long. Plus, I must say, the fact that the hats are beautiful and come in twelve different colors helps.”
When questioned if he is making a profit on the hats, Trump quickly snapped, “Why of course! We make them for $3 a pop in a factory in Mexico and sell them retail for $25. You do the math.”
Trump said the profits from his hats all go to his reelection campaign fund.
“But what if you don’t get elected?” I timidly asked. Trump, always the optimist, said, “Me lose to the most hated Democratic candidate in history? I don’t think so.”
Trump revealed that he has many marketing ideas once he and Melania occupy the White House.
“I’m seriously thinking of turning the back White House lawn into a pitch and putt. You know, for our Lincoln bedroom guests. But unlike those shysters, Bill and Hillary, there will be no charge for staying over night. We will, however, request a small contribution to the Trump presidential library.”
“But my best idea,” said an excited Trump, “is a White House calendar featuring our new First Lady, Melania, in tasteful poses throughout our new home. The keyword here is ‘tasteful’, nothing trashy your car mechanic would put up on his wall.”
“I gotta tell you,” said Trump, with a contented look on his face, “My wife may be 46 but I must say she is still every bit a 10. She will be the most beautiful, classiest First Lady this country’s ever seen!”
While Trump was thrilled at the success of his hats, he admitted he was very disappointed in his T-shirt sales.
“Perhaps if those nincompoops down in Mexico didn’t screw up the order, I wouldn’t be stuck with 80,000 shirts! Who wants a “Make American Grate Again” shirt, you tell me!”