In breaking news that is sending shock waves throughout the political world, Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, has just named Bernie Sanders, the Democratic socialist senator from Vermont, as his running mate.
The announcement was made hours ago by the former rivals at a press conference held at New York’s Trump Tower.
“I am happy to announce Bernie Sanders will be my running mate in our effort to keep ‘Crooked Hillary’ out of the White House,” said Trump. “Yes I have called my running mate ‘Crazy Bernie’ but I meant it in a good way. He is crazy like a fox!”
Asked what lead him to agree to be Trump’s number two man, the 74 year old Sanders did not mince words, “Look, Donald and I basically have the same message, namely that our political system is rigged and corrupted by big money. Only a revolution will change the status quo. Look at how the GOP tried to prevent Donald for becoming its party’s nominee? Look at how the Democratic establishment fixed the primary contest against me? That Wasserman Schultz had it in for me from day one.”
Political analysts are still trying to digest the blockbuster news.
“It actually makes a lot of sense on a number of levels,” said one pundit. “Bernie and Trump are both calling for a complete political upheaval. Hillary represents more of the some old, same old. The appetite for a revolution is strong on both sides of the political spectrum.”
“I think if there was a Trump-Sanders ticket they would pretty much win the election and it would make history in our political process and possibly end the two party system,” said Quora contributor Albert Huang, adding that “the parties would try whatever they could to prevent it with their delegate bull***t but there would be widespread revolt from millions of voters if they were not allowed to run in the general election.”
It is well known that many “Bernie or Bust” supporters have pledged to either sit out the presidential election or vote for Donald Trump. The newly formed ticket makes it easy for them to vote and eases their conscience. For Trump supporters, many of whom think Hillary Clinton should be in a jailhouse rather than the White House, Bernie is seen as a steadying, experienced hand for the sometimes “erratic” Trump.
Hillary Clinton is not taking the latest news well. Word has it she will be looking for a non-political VP pick; one with a large ego, like Trump and some celebrity panache. Some in the Clinton camp have already started floating the name of Mark Cuban.
Warning: For those about to have a conniption, just satire, folks!
Photo | burlingtonfreepreess.com