In a startling announcement, president-elect Donald Trump has named convicted felon, Bernie Madoff, to head the Treasury Department.
During his first press conference since winning the presidency, Trump told a group of journalists he is pleased to have such a skilled and knowledgeable man in his cabinet.
“I’ve known Bernie for quite some time and I can tell you, believe me, he is the good Bernie,” said the soon-to-be 45th president of the United States.
As would be expected, a reporter asked Trump how he could choose a man serving a 150-year prison sentence as his treasury secretary? Trump was quick to respond.
“As president, I will have the absolute power to pardon anyone I want to, especially someone who was wrongfully convicted by the mainstream media and liberal judges. Just look at all the felons Bill Clinton pardoned during his presidency,” said Trump.
“I don’t know anyone who is better with money than Bernie. He made tons of money for his investors, both in good times and bad times,“ added the president-elect.
When it was pointed out to Trump that Bernie Madoff ran a Ponzi scheme which usually rewards early investors while leaving later stakeholders holding the bag, Trump replied, “Investing, like everything else, is all a matter of timing. Nothing is guaranteed. There are always winners and losers.”
“Look at my case,” said Trump. “If I had run for president four years ago, I probably would not have won. My timing was excellent. I ran against one of the most hated establishment politicians of all time, ‘Crooked Hillary.’ Plus, I have to say, it helped having so many Republican-controlled states pass voter suppression laws making it harder for Democrats to vote.”
“Haven’t you just admitted you won the election through voter fraud?” yelled out a fearless reporter. “No,” answered Trump, “ there was no voter fraud, just suppression, two different things my amigo.”
Reached for comment at the Butner Federal Correctional Institution, the 78-year-old Madoff was thrilled to hear the news.
“I have always felt my career as a financier was not over. I look forward to bringing the skills I developed in my personal business to the country as a whole. … just like president-elect Trump promised to do for the country what he has done for most of his businesses.”
No one can deny Trump is the master at turning bankruptcies into gold … for himself.
Disclaimer: This story may be fake… or not!
Photos | marketwatch.com; abcnews.go.com