At this week’s annual meeting of the right-wing lovefest, the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Donald Trump professed his profound love for the First Amendment.
“I love the First Amendment — nobody loves it more than me,” said the besotted commander in chief.
Unfortunately, the object of Trump’s affection does not love him back.
“How could he love me when he is so mean to me,” said the First Amendment. “If only his actions matched his words.”
The First Amendment has a valid point.
Soon after Trump’s proclamation of love for the much-cherished amendment, White House press secretary, Sean Spicer, barred reporters from numerous major media outlets from participating in a regularly scheduled press briefing. Singled out were: The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, CNN, BBC, The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed and Politico.
“And it’s not just freedom of the press that I’m all about,” said the First Amendment. “If he truly loved me, he’d love all of me. He hasn’t shown any of that.”
“What about my other guaranteed freedoms?” asked the sometimes misunderstood amendment. “Yes I stand for freedom of expression by prohibiting Congress from restricting the press or the rights of individuals to speak freely. But I also forbid Congress from both promoting one religion over others and also restricting an individual’s religious practices. And don’t forget, I assure the right of citizens to assemble peaceably and to petition their government.”
“I’m not going to be taken in by Donald’s pretty words, his actions go against almost everything I stand for,” said the amendment so beloved by the Founding Fathers that they ranked it first among many. “ Others have claimed to love me but they proved to be bogus lovers. Donald is repulsive to me. Not only do I not love him but I’m afraid he will cause me harm.”
It is unfortunate the First Amendment is so frightened of the new president that it may need to seek a restraining order against the man and his false protestations of love.
Photo | cnn.com.de