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Reprint from moronmajority.com
After years of being a prominent figure in the conservative media world, Tucker Carlson has made the shocking announcement that he will be leaving Fox News to pursue a new calling: the ministry.
Sources close to Carlson suggest that he is deeply troubled by the role he played in spreading fear, lies, conspiracy theories and disinformation during his time on television. He believes that he has a responsibility to atone for his sins and to help undo the harm he’s caused.
“He’s been struggling with this for a while,” said a source who spoke on condition of anonymity. “He’s been talking to pastors and other religious leaders, trying to find a way to make things right.”
According to those same sources, Carlson’s decision to leave Fox News was motivated by his fear of going to hell.
“He’s always been a deeply religious person,” the source said. “But he’s been feeling more and more guilty about what he’s done. He’s worried that he’s going to spend eternity paying for the division he’s caused in our country.”
While some may be skeptical of Carlson’s sudden conversion, those who know him best say that he is sincere in his desire to repent and make amends.
“He’s a man of conviction,” said one friend. “He’s always been passionate about what he believes, and now he’s applying that passion to his faith.”
As for Fox News, the network is reportedly in a state of shock over Carlson’s sudden departure. After all, “Tucker Carlson Tonight” was the highest-rated cable news show for years. Fox has already started conducting a nationwide search to find a new host who is willing to take on the responsibility of spreading hate and lies to the American public.
“Whoever replaces Tucker is going to have some big shoes to fill,” said one Fox executive. “We need someone who can lie with conviction and fear-monger with the best of them.”
A replacement, however, might not be so difficult for Fox News to find. There are plenty of unscrupulous “newsmen” out there who have no fear of eternal damnation and would gladly sell their souls for some mega bucks.
As for Friar Tucker, our thoughts and prayers are with you, man!
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With two eminently qualified candidates, it is easy to see why, with just a few days before Georgia’s runoff election, the U.S. Senate race between Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock is considered a toss-up.
Raphael Warnock, the current U.S. senator from Georgia, is fighting to keep his seat against one of the state’s greatest sports heroes, Herschel Walker.
The Democratic candidate, Warnock, was elected to the Senate on January 5, 2021 by winning in another runoff race against Republican candidate, Kelly Loeffler. In his two years serving as Georgas’s senator, Warnock has distinguished himself as an articulate, effect lawmaker. He is not only a pastor, but the pastoral heir of Martin Luther King Jr. at Atlanta’s Ebenezer Baptist Church. He has made his life’s work fighting against systematic racism. Warnock is a strong champion of LGBTQ+ rights, voting rights and reproductive rights.
On the other hand, Republican candidate, Herschel Walker, starred as a running back at the University of Georgia, winning the Heisman Trophy in his junior year. He went on to a successful professional career playing in both the USFL and the NFL. While he is not as articulate as Warnock, with most of his speeches turning into incomprehensible word salads, Georgians love him nonetheless. Did you know as a junior at the University of Georgia, Walker rushed for 1,752 yards and 16 touchdowns while leading the Bulldogs to an 11-0 regular season record and a national matchup against Penn State in the Sugar Bowl?
Even though some are questioning his lack of political experience, Walker is following in the footsteps of his biggest backer, Donald Trump, who also lacked any political experience when he successfully ran for the presidency in 2016. As many Republican voters will quickly point out, and as they say Trump proved, political experience is so overrated!
To use a football term, the Senate runoff race in Georgia, on December 6, has come down to a “coin flip.” Who is best positioned to represent the great state of Georgia in the United States Senate … a civil rights hero or a sports hero? Tough one, Georgia!
Photo | Bill Barrow/Associated Press
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In an effort to stem the confusion surrounding the release of its Arizona audit report, Cyber Ninjas has hired former Trump Attorney General, William Barr, to distill the essential findings.
At a news conference this morning, Barr said, “While the audit showed Biden receiving more votes than Trump, that doesn’t necessarily mean Biden won the contest. Some are actually claiming the report ‘conclusively shows there were enough fraudulent votes, mystery votes, and fake votes to change the outcome of the election 4 or 5 times over’.”
Arizona Republicans are not happy with the work of Cyber Ninjas and are said to be contemplating another audit of the Maricopa County election results to be conducted by the little-known firm, Sumo Warriors.
Photo | people.com
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After making a splash across social media, we at The Daily Nooze decided to interview the woman who so proudly displays her love for Donald Trump across the back of her Jag.
While she agreed to answer our questions, she declined an in-person interview as she really didn’t have the time, working three part-time jobs and all. She instead requested we email her our questions and she would incorporate her answers into a written response.
Here is her reply:
Yes, I am college educated and I voted for Trump … twice. I am shore he won the last election and that Biden is an inposter president. I care so much about our country that I marched in a number of “Stop The Steel” rallies in my hometown.
I am the first person in my family to ern a college degree. I truly believe in the benefits of hire education.
I know that President Trump said he especially likes the poorly educated but I think education is the only way for someone from humble beginnings, like me, to get a head.
I grew up in a small farming town in Georgia and moved to the big city (population 1500) witch was 30 miles away when I turned 18.
I am a proud graduate of Tuberville State University in Alabama (Let’s Go Fighting Cicadas!) and hope President Trump is reinstituted next month just like Mr. Lindell said he would.
“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance” – Derek Bok
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After accusing Joe Biden of suffering from “mental impairment,” Donald Trump’s former personal doctor and current Texas congressman, Rep. Ronny Jackson, is no longer demanding the President take a test to measure his cognitive abilities.
It appears Biden has agreed to the request if Jackson consents to a sobriety test.
Photo | businessinsider.com
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During colonial times, when the United States were colonies of Great Britain, officials swore allegiance to the king. Following the Revolution, the founders decided to require an oath for all federal and state officials … to the Constitution.
Since Liz Cheney’s ouster from her House leadership position due to her refusal to swear allegiance to the king of her party, a few House Republicans have proposed a new oath to be taken by all new members on the opening day of a new Congress.
A bill soon to be introduced by Texas Representative Louie Gohmert, co-sponsored by fellow Republicans Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz and Jim Jordan, contains the following oath:
“I, (name), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend Donald J. Trump against all political enemies, foreign or domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to same; that I take this obligation without any mental hesitancy or self-reflection, and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter as directed by Our Leader. So help me Trump.”
As Republican House members are in the minority, it is unlikely such a bill will pass. But it is interesting to note how American conservatives have gone full circle in just under 250 years!
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Since leaving his position, in January, as White House senior advisor, Jared Kushner seems to be missing in action.
During Donald Trump’s appearance at last month’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Jared Kushner was noticeably absent from his side.
A source close to Kushner has said, “Right now, he’s just checked out of politics.”
And who could blame him!
While serving as his father-in-law’s right-hand man, Kushner was tasked with an inordinate level of responsibility. He was responsible for negotiating peace in the Middle East; he was responsible for solving America’s opioid crisis; he was responsible for diplomacy with Mexico; he was responsible for reforming care for veterans; he was responsible for reforming the criminal justice system; he was responsible for reinventing the entire government and making it work like a business; and he was responsible for leading a coronavirus task force!
Is it any wonder the man needs a break?
A close family friend has revealed the Boy Wonder, as some have called Kushner, is chilling out by spending time on his one true passion … creating art.
Much like George W. Bush after he left the White House, Kushner spends his days painting and drawing. But unlike Bush, who liked to paint portraits of important world leaders, Kushner passes the time mostly on drawings of his family.
Photo | npr.org/W. Roger Mills-Koonce
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The United States Supreme Court issued a devasting decision yesterday when it refused to block the release of Trump’s tax returns to the Manhattan District Attorney, Cyrus Vance.
In what has become a reflex action whenever Trump is on the losing end of a court case, he vowed to appeal the ruling, saying it allows for the “greatest political Witch Hunt in the history of our country” to continue.
In a lengthy written response to the decision, Trump attacked the Court for letting “this ‘fishing expedition’ happen” in the first place.
No one around the former-occupant-of-the-White-House had the nerve to inform him that the Supreme Court is the highest court in the land; that it is known as the court of last resort for a reason.
It is quite possible Donald Trump believes the World Court, headquartered in the Hague, has jurisdiction over the U.S. Supreme Court but, if he had paid attention in his high school history class, he’d know the court, also known as the International Court of Justice, settles disputes involving sovereign states in accordance with international law.
Or is it possible Trump has fallen into a Louis XIV mindset … “L’etat, c’est moi”?
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With little more than one week before the start of his impeachment trial in the Senate, Donald Trump’s entire legal team has quit.
But, with the kind of swift action Trump has come to be known for, the Washington D.C. law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe has been hired to take up his defense.
It is believed the firm’s senior partner, Mr. Cheatem, will personally head Mr. Trump’s legal efforts.
When asked how he plans to defend the former, now twice-impeached president, Mr. Cheatem offered a very basic, elemental strategy.
“We are going to impress upon the Republican Senators who will control Mr. Trump’s fate, ‘If you wish to remain in office, you must not f**k us’.”
With such a brilliant, yet simple, legal strategy, is there any wonder why Dewey, Cheatem & Howe is D.C.’s premier law firm?
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