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You are here: Home / satire / Five Disasters That Were Not Disasters According To Dick Cheney

Five Disasters That Were Not Disasters According To Dick Cheney

September 8, 2015 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Hindenburg_burning

You have to hand it to old Dick. When it comes to admitting the Iraq War was one of the biggest blunders of all time, he’s as stubborn as a mule about wearing a suit and tie! To this day, he defends the Iraqi invasion as a “good idea”. Facts simply do not faze the man.

“I was a strong advocate of going into Iraq,” said Cheney during a PBS interview. “I think that was the right decision then, and I still believe that today.”

Cheney has that rare gift of shutting out reality and making the insane seem rational. He is still spinning one of the worst foreign policy debacles in American history into something worthwhile. Here is a list of other man-made disasters and how a wily Cheney would have spun them to make you think otherwise.

Sinking of the Titanic – “The goal of the maiden voyage was to create world-wide excitement and press coverage. I think they accomplished those goals.”

Hindenburg Disaster – “In theory, there is nothing wrong with filling an 800 foot-long balloon with hydrogen. If that guy in first class hadn’t ordered the flaming Baked Alaska, everything would have been fine!”

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire – “I see nothing wrong with the owners locking the doors to the stairwells and exits. How else are you going to prevent workers from taking unauthorized breaks?”

Deep Water Horizon Oil Spill – “I’m an oil man and I can tell you there is nothing wrong with offshore drilling. Ocean water is liquid, so is oil. What’s the problem?”

Caitlyn Jenner – “ I don’t think he/she looks that bad!

Perhaps Paul Simon had Dick Chaney in mind when he penned this lyric from The Boxer: “The man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest… lie-la-lie …”

Photo | en.wikipedia.org

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Comments

  1. Charlie says

    September 9, 2015 at 7:48 am

    Quite simply Dr evil is delusional and should be in jail for War Crimes.

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      September 9, 2015 at 8:05 am

      The man simply has no shame. He should find a hobby like Dubya. Perhaps a pro bono executioner at some prison.

      Reply
  2. William Gaskill says

    September 10, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Cheney is a war-monger because he can make money from war – he cares nothing about death and destruction, just whether he can afford a larger yacht.

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      September 10, 2015 at 4:35 pm

      The man is the personification of evil.

      Reply

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