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Archives for October 2015

Cars Don’t Kill People, People Kill People

October 3, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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I’m an 18-year-old male in desperate need of some wheels, but I can’t get my license. You see, I keep failing my road test. I think I have a constitutional right to own a car.

People at the DMV tell me I have to pass my driving test to prove I’m a good driver. But I know a lot of people who passed their driving test, and who now own a car, but are bad drivers. I even know some people who drive without a license! My not getting a license is pure and plain discrimination.

As Dwayne La Derriere, president of the KNC (Kids Need Cars) has clearly said, “Cars don’t kill people, people kill people.”

Our government is out of control with all its regulations. In my social studies class last year, I learned that the Fourteenth Amendment says, “No state shall deprive any person of life, liberty, or property … nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Well, my state is depriving me of property … the car I want! Just because I can’t pass my road test, I’m being discriminated against. This is governmental tyranny.

I’m really a good driver. I just don’t do well on tests. Is that a reason to refuse me my license? Deny me my Constitutional right to own and operate a car?

I know I will eventually pass my road test. But I’m going on my fifth try. This is costing me big time.

And talking about cost, when I do get my license and buy a car, I’m told I can’t operate it on the road unless I pay for insurance. WTF! This is government overreach, I tell you.

For all those kids in a similar situation as me, stand up for your rights! Mr. La Derriere needs, and would appreciate, your generous donation to the KNC. Just go to www.governmentregualtionssuck.com.

Image courtesy of Naypong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Filed Under: satire

Universal Background Checks And Political Dissonance

October 3, 2015 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

Has there ever been a greater gap between the will of the American people and the actions of their elected officials than on the issue of universal background checks? In a poll released just one week before this week’s gun massacre at Umpqua Community College in Oregon, a Quinnipiac University poll found that 93% of Americans favor universal background checks for gun purchases. And most startling, the high number cuts across the political divide. While more Democrats favor background checks than do Republicans, the difference is a paltry 8% … 98% to 90%.

Here are the Quinnipiac University poll results:

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Some conservatives are attacking the poll as “rigged” and are claiming respondents didn’t fully understand the question. As discussed in Breitbart News, “The American voter has to be lucid enough to understand that when people are pushing background checks” these “checks might not really be the end goal. The goal might actually be something larger, something which cannot be accomplished without first getting a foot in the door via background checks.”

Ah, the old “foot in the door” analogy. (Breitbart News)

Perhaps the more startling dissonance is not that of the American people and there elected representatives but that of the American voter and his or her voting pattern. How could so many voters how favor background checks keep voting for politicians who are against such legislation?

My theory is that they are confused by the NRA’s scoring system. Voters who see an “A” next to a politician’s name incorrectly think it’s a good thing. After all, aren’t “A’s” better than “D’s?”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Another Gun Massacre Brings Out More “Thoughts and Prayers”

October 2, 2015 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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Like clockwork, you can be sure whenever a mass shooting occurs in our nation, elected leaders will be quick to offer up their heart-felt thoughts and prayers to the families of victims killed and to the injured.

Yesterday, the usual group of concerned politicians took to the Twittersphere after a gunman shot and killed 10 people and wounded 7 at a college in Oregon. Here are some of their messages:

   My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and all those affected by this terrible tragedy at Umpqua Community College in Oregon. – Sen. Pat Roberts

   My thoughts and prayers are with those affected by this tragedy at Oregon’s Umpqua    Community College. – Sen. Dean Heller

   I join in sending my thoughts and prayers to victims and their families and thanking first   responders on the scene. – Rep. Steny Hoyer

But an angry President Obama was having none of this business as usual.

“Our thoughts and prayers are not enough,” declared Obama in comments made from the White House briefing room. The president urged voters to demand changes to our nation’s gun laws by pressing their elected officials for action.

Said the president, “Somehow, this has become routine. The reporting is routine. My response here at this podium ends up being routine … we’ve become numb to this.”

“I hope and pray that I don’t have to come out again during my tenure as president to offer my condolences to families in these circumstances,” Obama said. “But based on my experience as president, I can’t guarantee that — and that’s terrible to say. And it can change.”

With about 15 months remaining until the end of his term, and having now spoken after more than a dozen senseless killings during his administration, the odds of President Obama not having to offer his condolences to any more families of shooting victims are as slim as any sensible gun legislation passing through Congress.

 

Filed Under: breaking news

Pope Francis Big Kim Fan

October 1, 2015 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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After his successful first visit to the U. S., highlighted by an unprecedented address to a joint meeting of Congress, it appears the first Latin American pontiff has “some splainin’ to do.” It was recently revealed that Pope Francis secretly met with Evangelical martyr and conservative media star, Kim Davis, while in Washington D.C.

Many liberals and progressives who just a few days ago praised the Holy Father for his openness on issues such as immigration, climate change and income inequality, were taken aback by the Pope’s surprise meeting with Davis. Supporters had lauded Francis for avoiding hot-button issues polarizing American society.

Kim Davis has made a name for herself by refusing to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples due to her deeply held religious beliefs. The fact that issuing marriage licenses to all eligible couples is what she was elected to do does not matter to the new religious-intolerance poster girl.

“Why would the Pope take all that goodwill and moral capital he accumulated on his American visit and flush it down the crapper,” asked a confused supporter of the Pope. “There has got to be some explanation, some rationale we don’t know of.”

In an effort to get to the bottom of the story, this reporter interviewed Father Federico Lombardi, director of the Holy See Press Office and Vatican spokesman.

“The Pope grew up in Buenos Aires, Argentina, at a time when the main form of entertainment was watching Hollywood movies. He especially loved female film stars. When he was asked if he would meet with Kim Davis, he of course said “yes.” You see, the Pope’s favorite star of all time is Kim Novak. So he got a little confused. He is 78 years old after all … and a little hard of hearing.”

“So does the Pope believe a government official should be paid for refusing to do the job they were elected to do?” I asked Lombardi. “Absolutely not, “ said the spokesman, “ the Pope believes in an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work. That is the message he gave to John Boehner during their private talk. And as you saw, Mr. Boehner took it to heart, announcing his resignation from Congress the very next day.”

Like the Pope, Father Lombardi misunderstood my question. But it didn’t pay to tell him I was talking about the Evangelical Kim Davis. The 73 year old Lombardi, I’ve been told, is also a little hard of hearing.

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Filed Under: satire

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