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You are here: Home / satire / Udder Delight – New Jersey Bans Bestiality!

Udder Delight – New Jersey Bans Bestiality!

November 12, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

group of farm animals

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie finally made good on his promise to join the majority of states that outlaw bestiality. By signing the bill into law this Monday, animal lovers, in the strict sense, are no longer welcome in the Garden State.

The new law, which goes into effect immediately, makes bestiality a crime punishable by 18 months in jail and a fine of up to $10,000. Penalties could get more severe in cases involving abuse or injury to the animal.

While most New Jerseyans support the governor’s action, not everyone is happy with the new law.

Newton farmer, Bobby Giles, thinks this is just another example of government overreach. “I own my animals and I don’t need some politician to tell me what I can and can’t do in the privacy of my barn,” said Giles. “Plus, this law is a violation of my religious beliefs. Who the hell is Christie to tell me I can’t know my animals ‘in the Biblical sense?’ You know I’ve been a widower for 15 years.”

Asked if he would comply with new law, Giles said, “Not as long as I have this shotgun in my hand!”

On another note, experts are predicting the sale of goats within the state will decline by 35%.

Photo | cambridgevets.co.nz

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