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Archives for 2015

Disagreeing Candidates Agree On One Thing – It’s Hillary

November 11, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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Last night’s fourth Republican presidential debate produced some fireworks but no clear winner. Each candidate was able to hold his (her) own. In lively back and forths, the candidates disagreed on taxes, military spending, foreign policy, immigration and bank bailouts.

But to a man (woman), they all seemed to think Hillary Clinton would be the Democratic presidential nominee. The candidates painted the Democratic front-runner as just your typical tax and spend liberal. They suggested a Hillary win would be a continuation of the failed Obama presidency.

But in a rare occurrence for a Republican presidential debate, Hillary Clinton’s name was invoked more often than that of Saint Reagan.

While there might not have been a clear winner in the Fox debate, there was a loser: Jeb. I say that not because Jeb Bush did not do well; he just did not do well enough. He sorely needed a strong, breakout performance but it never materialized. The problem with Jeb is that his personality is not suited for a debate stage filled with more aggressive, animated candidates. He will always look weak by comparison.

It is fairly certain, however, Jeb will live to fight another day. But the writing seems to be on the wall: barring some miracle, Jeb will not be the Republican presidential nominee.

Besides agreeing that Clinton will ultimately be the Democratic presidential pick, the candidates did agree on some basic Republican orthodoxy: cut taxes and eliminate regulations. They also all agreed that raising the minimum wage was a bad idea.

I did not see anything in last night’s debate that would cut into the poll numbers of the two Republican front-runners, Donald Trump and Ben Carson. I look for Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz to fight for third place … with old Jeb firmly ensconced as a second-tier candidate.

Photo | AP/Morry Gash

Filed Under: politics

Watch Out For Carly In Tonight’s Debate!

November 10, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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What happened to Carly Fiorina? After great performances in the first two Republican debates vaulted her into third place behind the front-runners Trump and Carson, she’s gone AWOL. The media has all but forgotten about the only woman running for the Republican nomination.

After her middling third debate showing, the one-time media darling will be fighting for her political life in tonight’s fourth GOP debate sponsored by Fox Financial Network and the Wall Street Journal.

Fiorina, along with Trump and Carson, are the only candidates who are true Washington outsiders. But unlike Trump and Carson, Fiorina has not been able to exploit her political inexperience.

Fiorina’s claim to fame has always been her business acumen. But as her profile grew, thanks to a cooperative media that needed a new story other than Trump or Carson, so did scrutiny of her stint as the CEO of Hewlett-Packard. The picture presented by the media of the rising political star soon became that of a failed corporate executive.

Without a new narrative to take its place, her political fortunes took a dramatic turn for the worse. The most recent polling has Fiorina in the middle of the Republican presidential pack, in the low single digits, along with second-tier candidates Kasich, Paul and Huckabee.

Another possible reason for Fiorina’s dramatic fall from grace among Republican voters could be the simple fact that she is a she. While Americans have become dramatically more willing to elect a female president over the last quarter-century, there still remains some reluctance, especially among Republicans, as YouGov found in March.

Whatever the reason(s) for her collapse, look for a feisty Fiorina to come out swinging among the field of seven men who will be looking to land some punches of their own.

Photo | huffingtonpost.com

Filed Under: politics

Cruz – I Start Each Day On My Knees

November 9, 2015 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

UNITED STATES - SEPTEMBER 27: Sens. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, speaks to the media after the Senate voted to pass the continuing resolution. (Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)

Speaking at the National Religious Liberties Conference in Iowa last week, Republican presidential candidate, Sen.Ted Cruz, was quoted as saying, “ Any president who doesn’t begin every day on his knees isn’t fit to be the commander-in-chief of this country.”

The statement was made after right-wing pastor, Kevin Swanson, introduced Cruz to the stage and asked him how important it was for candidates to submit to Jesus Christ as “the king of the President of the United States.”

Wow! Exactly how, and when, did the Republican Party become the Party of God? When did Jesus become a Republican presidential candidate? The MSM completely missed that one!

Of course, Christian fundamentalism is a big part of Cruz’s appeal. Since being elected to the Senate in 2012, he has railed against “radicals and liberals” trying to strip religion out of the public sphere.

The problem for Cruz, Carson and some of the other “holy” panderers is that there just aren’t enough “religionists’ to ever elect one of them president. Thank God!

What I pray for everyday, Sen. Cruz, is for the day when someone like you is not seen as a viable candidate for the White House but one for the psych ward; when a candidate espousing views like yours is deemed mentally ill and automatically disqualified to hold public office.

I know that day is in the distant future, but a man can dream cant he? I’m guessing that day of the “New Enlightenment” is 100+ years away.

Like Martin Luther King Jr., I dream of the day when politicians will not be judged by their professed belief in a mythical sky creature but by the extent of their rational faculties.

Photo | Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)

 

Filed Under: politics

Trump And SNL, Mutual Winners

November 8, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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People ask why did Donald Trump accept the invitation to host NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” especially after the network fired him as host of “The Apprentice” and dropped his beauty pageants due to derogatory comments made about Mexicans? And why would NBC still do business with the man who basically forced the RNC to cancel NBC’s Republican presidential debate set for early next year?

Of course, the answer to both questions is simple: ratings. NBC profits from the “huge” viewership that Trump brings to any TV appearance. Trump, on the other hand, gets to market his brand to a large national audience. It’s what’s generally known as a “win-win” situation.

I will admit I stayed up to watch the entire show. How else was I going to critique it?

I am old enough to remember when SNL was funny. Those were the days of Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray and Eddie Murphy, just to name a few SNL stars that went on to bigger and better things.

“Saturday Night Live” is no longer funny… unless stupid and crass humor is your cup of tea. Maybe that’s what today’s youngins want. Maybe I’m too old to know what’s cool (or should I say, rad or sick?)

Donald Trump was featured in only a few skits and his roles could best be described as “cameo.” About the only funny performance was that of Larry David impersonating Bernie Sanders being interviewed by Rachel Maddow.

Will Trump’s appearance help or hurt him in the polls? I tend to doubt Trump could care, one way or the other. It’s all about promoting his brand. And anyway, as has been proven, I doubt there is anything Trump can do to hurt his poll numbers.

Trump told Fox’s Bill O’Reilly he exercised editorial control over some of the skits on last night’s show. It seems he must have nixed the funny ones.

The one thing Trump was able to do by accepting SNL’s invitation to host the show is mobilize Latino voters to get out and vote against the man who so openly denigrates them.

Photo | NBC

Breaking News – According to NBC, with Donald Trump hosting, Saturday Night Live jumped to its biggest overnight rating since 2012. Entertainment Weekly.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Dr. Ben Carson – A Beautiful Mind?

November 7, 2015 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind

Why is it whenever I hear Dr. Ben Carson speak I think of that line from “Scarface?” You know, when Elvira Hancock (Michelle Pfeiffer) tells Tony Montana (Al Pacino), “Don’t get high on your own supply.”

As a physician, Dr. Carson has easy access to all types of medications. I’m not accusing him of sampling his own drugs, but you have to admit he does come off as someone who is medicated.

Words coming out of his mouth lately make no sense. He is offering word-salads that make Sarah Palin sound like a Rhodes Scholar.

Take for example this latest episode of reporters trying to ask Carson about his past:

“There is a desperation on behalf of some to try to find ways to tarnish me because they’ve been looking through everything, they have been talking to everybody I’ve ever known, everybody I’ve ever seen,” Carson told reporters at a media availability in Florida.

“‘There’s got to be a scandal. There’s got to be some nurse he’s had an affair with. There’s got to be something.’ They have gotten desperate,” Carson continued. “Next week, it will be my kindergarten teacher who said I peed in my pants. It’s ridiculous. But it’s OK because I totally expect it.”

This outburst was atypical for the otherwise cool and calm Dr. Carson. He truly seemed annoyed and agitated as never before. This was a striking departure from the laid-back personality he has displayed on the campaign trail.

There are a few explanations for Dr. Carson’s most recent behavior. It could be that the grind of the campaign trail is getting to him. He admitted, “A lot of times people say, ‘Why would someone who has had a wonderful career get involved in the dirty world of politics?’ I frequently ask myself that when I wake up in the morning. It is a dirty world.”

Another explanation could be that whether medication he takes to keep calm and mellow was wearing off.

Of course it could just be that the brilliant, 64-year-old brain surgeon, is simply losing his mind.

Photo | theguradian.com

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Christie Banished To Kid’s Table

November 6, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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In a severe blow to his presidential bid, Gov. Chris Christie will not be one of the Republican presidential candidates taking part in next week’s debate hosted by Fox Financial Network. Christie failed to average 2.5% in the four most recent national polls used by the network to determine eligibility.

What a stunning reversal of fortune for the Republican once viewed in the same light as Hillary Clinton: a lock for their party’s presidential nomination. The New Jersey governor was arguable the most popular politician in the country not that long ago. Now he will be sitting at the kid’s table for the upcoming debate, along with Huckabee, Jindal, and Santorum.

Ironically, much of Christie’s fall can actually be traced to the liberal media. It was Rachel Maddow who picked up on a little known story about the closure of some lanes on the George Washington Bridge that eventually turned into a national scandal.

The closure of two of the three access lanes from Fort Lee to the Washington Bridge turned out to be political payback for the town’s Democrat mayor, Mark Sokolich, refusal to endorse Christie’s reelection bid for governor. Of course Christie, to this day, has denied involvement in the ordering of the lane closures and has basically thrown members of his staff under the bus.

But the damage was done. As more reporters picked up on the story, the American public learned what citizens of New Jersey knew all along: the man is a vindictive bully. Other New Jersey politicians started accusing Christie of misdeeds. The mayor of Hoboken, to name just one example, claimed that Christie’s office pressured her to approve a big development project represented by a Christie crony—or risk losing recovery aid for damage caused by Hurricane Sandy.

The “Bridgegate” scandal is ongoing. While one Christie associate, David Wildstein, pleaded guilty in May on two criminal counts, the federal trial of two other allies, Bridget Kelly and Bill Baroni, is still pending. Originally scheduled for this past July, and then September, the trial has now been delayed to April 2016.

What has been most amazing about Christie’s presidential run is that he chose to seek the Republican nomination while still not out of the woods on “Bridgegate.” More people could face charges connected to the notorious Fort Lee traffic jam, including Christie himself.

Unlike the access lanes to the bridge, this scandal is far from closed.

Photo | huffingtonpost.com

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Fox Network Relents, Supplies Candidates With Debate Questions

November 5, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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After the kerfuffle over questions asked by the CNBC moderators at last week’s Republican presidential debate, the Fox Business Network, host of next week’s fourth debate, has made a dramatic concession to the candidates. Mostly at the urging of Sen. Ted Cruz, the debate will be moderated by Fox’s Sean Hannity and, most importantly, candidates will be supplied with debate questions in advance.

Here are some of the questions Hannity plans to ask the candidates:

Sen. Cruz: “Why do you think Democrats like to give away “free stuff?” Are they not just trying to buy votes?

Gov. Christie: “Do you think the bogus “Bridgegate scandal” was blown out of proportion by the liberal media?”

Gov. Bush: “ Why are so many Democrats criticizing your brother’s presidency? Don’t they realize he kept America safe?”

Gov. Kasich: “When you were quoted as having said some of your fellow Republicans in the presidential race were ‘just crazy,’ you were misquoted, weren’t you?

Ms. Fiorina: “ Your record as the successful CEO of Hewlett-Packard has been described by some business leaders as a disaster. This is just envy, isn’t it?”

Sen. Rubio: “ You’ve been attacked as someone who is unable to handle his own personal finances. Isn’t it true, despite your humble beginnings, you were able to fully pay off your student loans in a timely fashion?”

Gov. Huckabee: “Some people say you sell worthless products to a gullible Evangelical base. Don’t you think this is just part of the liberals’ war against religion?”

Dr. Carson: “You say you were asked to run for the presidency by God. Why do so many liberal-communist- atheists have a problem with that?

Sen. Paul: “Why does the liberal media say that you are prone to plagiarism? You write your own material and give credit where credit is due… isn’t that right?

Mr. Trump: “People say many of your buildings were built by immigrant labor. Isn’t it true you pay all your workers well and offer great benefits? And you do not do the actual hiring, isn’t that correct?

The Republican presidential candidates should be more than happy with the new Fox “debate” format.

Photo | telegragh.co.uk

Filed Under: satire

New House Speaker Ryan… “This Job Stinks!”

November 3, 2015 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

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After being stroked, coaxed and cajoled into accepting a job he didn’t want, the new Speaker of the House, Rep, Paul Ryan, is complaining the job “stinks” … literally!

It appears outgoing Speaker, John Boehner, was so addicted to his cigs he could not go outside his office for a smoke, as mandated by federal law. So he smoked up the office inherited by Ryan.

An avid runner and self-described health-nut, the new House Speaker says he cannot put up with the stench. Speaking to NBC’s Chuck Todd of “Meet The Press, “ Ryan said, “They have these ozone machines, apparently, that you can detoxify the environment [with], but I’m going to have to work on the carpeting in here. You know if you got to a hotel room or get a rental car that’s been smoked? That’s what this smells like.”

Upon further inspection of his new digs, Ryan noticed several whiskey stains on the drapes and carpeting. “Looks like I will have to put in for a complete remodel,” said Ryan. “You know cigarette smoke can permeate walls, light fixtures and furniture.”

“I’m sure the taxpayers won’t mind the expense,” Ryan said. “It will me part of a new beginning; a fresh start with a fresh coat of paint, if you will.”

Ryan has gone out of his way to say he will be a different kind of Speaker than Boehner. “I will be more open to the wishes of my caucus but I will not cater to the radical few,” said Ryan. To prove his point, the second thing Ryan did after complaining about the office smell was to announce he would not be working with the White House on immigration reform any time soon; well, at least while Barack Obama is still around.

“Look, I think it would be a ridiculous notion to try and work on an issue like this with a president we simply cannot trust on this issue,” Ryan said. “He tried to go it alone, circumventing the legislative process with his executive orders.”

A small group of House Democrats is floating a petition to have John Boehner personally pay for Ryan’s office renovation. “After all,” said a House member who chose to remain anonymous, “ he broke the law and caused the office to reek. Why should John Q. Public be left holding the bag?”

Considering all the perks the former Speaker will receive upon leaving office, paying for the mess he created would be a small price to pay for violating the “no-smoking” rule, passed in 2008, for all federal buildings.

It appears Ryan is on track to getting the foul smell out of his room. His challenge will be to do the same with the entire House.

 

Photo | alan.com

Filed Under: satire

Top Ten Demands – GOP Presidential Campaigns

November 2, 2015 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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The dozen Republican presidential campaigns that met yesterday in Washington D.C. to discuss how the remaining debates should be handled have come up with a list of demands. Here are the “top ten,” as agreed on by the various campaign representatives:

  1. No questions about which country a candidate would bomb next.
  2. Debates should be taped, not live (for editing purposes and campaign approval).
  3. Each debate winner should be allowed to skip the following debate.
  4. Candidates should have the option to phone a friend, ask the audience or skip to the next question.
  5. Each candidate gets two “potty” breaks.
  6. There should be no questions on evolution, climate change, income inequality or who was the smartest “Brady Bunch” kid.
  7. Candidates will be allowed to ask questions of the moderators.
  8. Crib sheets will be permitted.
  9. Candidates will be allowed to “take the fifth.”
  10. Only one network, Fox News, will be allowed to moderate future debates.

Whether the TV networks will agree to all or any of the campaigns’ demands remains to be seen. As one media insider observed, “Without the ability to ask ‘gotcha’ questions, what fun would that be for the viewing public? Got to keep it unpredictable and lively if you want ratings!”

Image courtesy of Staurt Miles at Freedigitalphotos.net

Filed Under: satire

Jeb, Please Go Do Those Other “Cool Things” You Spoke Of

November 1, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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Jeb, oh Jeb! Why couldn’t you have listened to that sage Mama Bush when she gave you advice on running for the presidency: Don’t! You would have spared yourself so much embarrassment and humiliation. You could have spared the country from watching one of the worst political campaigns in recent memory.

With all that money, one would have thought you could put together a competent campaign staff. But you have lurched from one gaffe to another. Your brain trust just never could figure out how to handle the 800-pound gorilla in the room: the Bush name. (The GOP Battle Of The Brands)

Now you’ve been reduced to telling Iowa voters, ““I’m gonna get better. I oughta get better. I know I have to get better.” Really? And you follow up that bizarre statement with, “You know, poll numbers, they go up and they go down.” Seriously?

Telling voters, who have long written you off, you’re a “grinder” and that “I eat nails when I wake up,” is just laughable. But of course, neither you nor your out-of-touch campaign apparatus sees the joke.

For God’s sake, do yourself and the country a favor, pull the plug on this rotting corpse otherwise known as your presidential campaign. Yes, we know the GOP establishment hasn’t completely given up on you; that there is still some money in the bank. But be a man and do the right thing.

Even Captain Obvious is asking you, and all those around you, to see the writing on the wall.

Photo |marketmenot.com

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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