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Archives for March 2016

For Trump, It’s All About Promoting The Brand

March 31, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Donald Trump does not want to be president. But he wants to win the presidency. Donald Trump does not want the awesome responsibility of being the leader of the free world. But he wants to be labeled a winner.

I have little doubt that the billionaire reality TV star entered the presidential race simply to promote the Trump brand. What better way to get free publicity? But a funny thing happened on the way to the forum – his candidacy gained traction. So much so, he is now the odds-on-favorite of becoming the Republican nominee for the White House.

For Trump, it’s all about winning. It doesn’t matter what the subject – a contract, a negotiation, the perfect wife or an election. If the Trump brand stands for anything, it’s for success, attainment … winning.

Is Trump a little fuzzy on what policies he would pursue as president? Does he continually shift positions like a man who hasn’t given much thought to those positions? Of course! His M.O. is not about the arduous task of governing but the splendiferousness of coming out on top.

John Kasich, fellow candidate for the Republican nomination, recently said, “Donald Trump is not prepared to be President.”

And this is news?

Donald Trump is in the business of promoting the Trump brand. While he might not have entered the race to actually win the nomination, his ego will not now allow him to exit the contest. Trump knows he must keep winning for the sake of the brand.

If you actually look at some of Trump’s “proposals,” they stand out for their vacuity. His positions are either silly (Mexico will pay for a wall) or unconstitutional (ban on all Muslims) or empty (we must enforce our laws). There just is no there… there.

It appears there are only two ways this Trump reality show will end. He either admits to himself he does not care about the whole governing thing and backs off (unlikely) or voters realize he is just not presidential material and reject him (maybe).

Right now, voters seem to like Trump’s confidence, and his populist rhetoric so much that they do not care about his lack of experience or interest in the job he is applying for. Maybe that is part of his appeal? But maybe voters will come to realize that once the winning is done, a president actually has to govern. And they see the only thing Donald Trump is interested in is promoting Donald Trump … and that they’ve been played.

Here’s an interesting side note. Donald Trump estimates his net worth to be in the vicinity of $10 billion (Forbes has it a $4.5 billion). It should be noted, by Trump’s reckoning, the biggest asset within his portfolio is the Trump name – a brand he will protect at all costs.

Photo | people.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Trump Hats To Become Collector’s Items

March 30, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

trumphat

There is a rumor being spread around the Internet that Trump’s “Make America Great Again” campaign hats are made in China. While it would not be surprising for the man who rails against China taking away our manufacturing jobs to do such a thing, the rumor is false.

Donald Trump’s baseball caps are made in a plant in southern California. These official campaign hats sell for about $25. Ironically, the hats are made in a factory where about 80% of the workers are Latino. The owner has stated that 100% of his workforce’s immigration status is verified.

Of course there are Trump hat knockoffs that are indeed made in China. One of the key giveaways is price. The fake hats sell for much less than the authentic headgear. Some hats sell online for as little as $9.

Another telltale sign that your hat might not be authentic is the misspelling on some Chinese hats. One China factory put out a version of the hat that reads “Make America Grate Again.”

Many Trump opponents are buying the flawed hats because, in their view, that is exactly what Trump is doing to America – grating it. To “grate,” is to have an irritating or unpleasant effect. Throughout his presidential campaign, Trump’s statements have undoubtedly rubbed a vast majority of Americans in the wrong way.

News outlets are now reporting that the American Cheese Society – a non-profit organization that promotes cheeses, is scooping up the vast majority of the defective caps.

While any authentic Trump hat will not doubt become a collector’s item, the misspelled Chinese hat should fetch the highest prices in the future. So, try to get your hands on one of these prized hats before they go the way of Trump’s bid for the presidency  … kaput.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: satire

Somewhere In Springfield, Mary Todd Lincoln Is Rolling Over

March 28, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Imagine, if you will, Donald and Melania Trump in the White House. It’s 2017. A new day has dawned in American Politics. Welcome to your worst nightmare. Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

Donald – “Are you almost ready, Baby?”

Melania – “No. Still undressing.”

The scene is unfolding in the Lincoln bedroom where Melania is preparing for a photo shoot. She will be gracing the front cover of Trump’s new magazine, P.T. Trump (as in ”Perfectly Tremendous.”)

Donald – “I spoke with Henri, this spread will be very tasteful. Nothing to be nervous about. He is using a special lens to capture all your beauty.”

Melania – “Oh, Donald, really. This is not the first time I do this. Remember that great shoot on your yacht by GQ?”

Donald – “Of course Baby. But we’re going to make this a little more classy. After all, you are the new First Lady. I don’t want perverts to drool too much over that luscious body of yours.”

Melania – “Donald I think your Evangelical people might not like this so much, no?”

Donald – “Don’t worry Baby, I got the job. Nobody can fire me. I fire them.”

Melania – “As you say, you are always right. Can you hand me that flower? I think I stick it in my hair.”

Donald – “Baby don’t get me going with that stick it in the hair stuff. I’m thinking if this works out we can put some of these nice, but tasteful photos, into a presidential calendar. Will sell like hotcakes. You like that, Baby?”

Melania – “Yes. But maybe not so presidential, no?”

Donald – “Presidential my ass. I got elected because I do stuff like this. My people love me and expect it.”

With that, celebrated Penthouse photographer, Henri LaTour, positions Melania across the king size bed of the Lincoln bedroom.

Donald – “Hey Melania, just think this is the same bed Bill rented out to his donors when he was here.”

Melania – “Knowing Bill, I’m sure he used bed a few times himself, no?”

The shoot goes off without a hitch. Donald and Melania now get dressed to host their first White House state dinner with none other than the Vicar of Christ, Pope Francis.

Twilight Zone?

Photo | ndtv.com

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: satire

“Nobody Has More Respect For Women Than Donald Trump” Says Donald Trump!

March 27, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - SEPTEMBER 01: Donald J.Trump poses with Hooters Girls at the Donald Trump's Ultimate Deal Cash Giveaway at the Trump Marina Hotel and Casino on September 1, 2007 in Atlantic Ciyt, New Jersy. (Photo by Nick Valinote/FilmMagic)

The billionaire TV celebrity, who also happens to be the frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination, hit the Twittershpere yesterday with this gem:

Donald J. Trump

‎@realDonaldTrump

The media is so after me on women Wow, this is a tough business. Nobody has more respect for women than Donald Trump!

8:19 AM – 26 Mar 2016

Given how Trump has referred to women in the past – pigs, sluts, bimbos – his statement brings into question his definition of “respect.” My guess is his rendition of the word does not jibe with that of Merriam-Webster.

Here are ten real life, verifiable statements Donald Trump has made about women. You can reach your own conclusion as to how much Trump “respects” the opposite sex:

  1. That women are essentially aesthetically-pleasing objects.
  2. That sexual assault in the military is totally expected.
  3. That bad press doesn’t matter as long as you have a “young and beautiful piece of ass.”
  4. That pumping breast milk is “disgusting.”
  5. That giving your wife “negotiable assets” is a terrible mistake.
  6. That a woman MUST be hot in order to be a journalist.
  7. That his favorite line from “Pulp Fiction” is “Bitch be cool!”
  8. That women fawn all over him because he is rich and powerful.
  9. That all women hate prenups, because they are gold diggers.
  10. That women manipulate men with sex.

How any Republican woman, or any woman for that matter, could vote for a man like Trump is unfathomable.

On the other hand, it is very understandable why so many men admire “The Donald.” Who wouldn’t want to have one “10” after another for a wife! Yes it’s costly, but hey, the guy’s a billionaire!

And if everything goes according to plan, Trump will be the next Republican nominee for the White House. USA! USA! USA!

(Photo by Nick Valinote/FilmMagic)

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Donald Calls Bubba … Again

March 26, 2016 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

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After his big primary win in Arizona on Tuesday, Donald Trump was on the phone with his good friend and political advisor, Bill Clinton.

Clinton – “Hey, Bud. Congrats on Arizona.”

Trump – “Yea, thanks. Do you believe this crap? I’m unstoppable. I’m like a god.”

Clinton – “Hold on there, Bud. You’re not God. This is eight years of Catholic school talking.”

Trump – “I didn’t say I was God, but a god. People just worship and adore me!”

Clinton – “Yea, your peeps just love their Trump.”

Trump – “Bill, what if in the next few months I actually get enough delegates to win this thing. Should I then just say I’ve changed my mind? That it was an experiment to see how far I could get? A way to prove I was the greatest salesman of all-time?”

Clinton – “Buddy, you are locked in. You just have to accept the nomination and have some good old fun with Hill. Don’t’ worry. She’ll try not to make a complete fool out of you in the debates.”

Trump – “I spoke with my doctor, you know, Harold, about verifying that I’ve come down with some incurable disease. What do you think about that?”

Clinton – “Nah. Better to just go all the way and let Hill have the biggest landslide in history. She will just be pleased as punch!”

Trump – “ Eight more months of this horsesh_t? I’m getting a little tired you know.”

Clinton – “But you’re a god! Ha! It won’t be so bad. Enjoy it!”

Trump – “ Alright. But tell Hill to go easy on me. No crap about my tax returns, OK?”

Clinton – “You got it, Bud. Now you know I just bought a new driver – the TaylorMade M2? Can’t wait to try it out this weekend.”

Trump – “Meet you at the club at nine Saturday.”

Clinton – “Tell me, is that sh_t about Cruz and the five mistresses true?”

Trump – “Who knows? If you were a woman would you want to screw that miskayt loser?”

Clinton – “Touche!”

Photo | cnn.com

 

 

Filed Under: satire

Backlash Against North Carolina’s Anti-LGBT Law … Who Would Have Thunk It!

March 25, 2016 By John DeProspo 12 Comments

 

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Just days after North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory signed into law a bill that effectively legalizes discrimination against lesbians, gays, transsexuals and bisexuals, companies doing business within the state have come out in opposition to the law.

Dow Chemical, Paypal, American Airlines are only but a few of the companies which have expressed their displeasure with the legislation.

Even organizations planning to do business within the state have voiced their disapproval over the blatantly unconstitutional measure. The NCAA, which had planned to host at least 20 high-profile games in the state in 2017 and 2018, has said it might reconsider its position. The NBA hinted North Carolina could lose the 2017 NBA All-Star game over the anti-LGBT law.

North Carolina’s passage of House Bill 2, as the discrimination legislation is officially referred to, begs a few simple questions: Will there ever come a day when Republicans cease to be the “party of stupid” as Bobby Jindal so accurately diagnosed his party’s condition not too long ago? Will Republicans ever learn from the past or will they forever live in a bubble?

It was only one year ago that the state of Indiana passed it’s own discrimination bill known as the “religious freedom” law. Opposition to the measure was swift and intense.

Following the bill’s signing by Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, Connecticut Gov. Dan Malloy issued an executive order banning state-funded travel to Indiana and the mayors of San Francisco and Seattle enacted similar bans. Conventions were canceled. Apple, the NCAA and other companies joined liberal activist groups in speaking out against the law.

The Indiana law was eventually “watered-down” by the legislature to stem the uproar it had caused among business leaders and state financial institutions. While the purported “religious freedom” law still held much sway in the state’s legislative body, profits and losses ruled the day.

Odds are good that a similar “watering down” of North Carolina’s anti-LGBT law will take place. When it’s a contest between the Almighty and the almighty dollar, the greenback always wins.

Photo | youtube.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Bernie Sanders – Right Message, Wrong Messenger?

March 24, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., smiles as he is asked about running for president during a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, April 29, 2015. Sanders will announce his plans to seek the Democratic nomination for president on Thursday, presenting a liberal challenge to Hillary Rodham Clinton. Sanders, an independent who describes himself as a "democratic socialist," will follow a statement with a major campaign kickoff in his home state in several weeks. Two people familiar with his announcement spoke to The Associated Press under condition of anonymity to describe internal planning. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

With each new primary win, it is looking more likely than ever Donald Trump will be the GOP’s presidential nominee. The hated, divisive figure with zero political experience may well be the one to carry Republican hopes for retaking the White House.

Great news for Democrats, you would think, right? You could almost see the headlines, “Landslide, Cakewalk.” But not so fast. Who will the Democrats most likely put up against this hated, divisive Republican… a hated, divisive figure of their own, Hillary Clinton.

It is abundantly clear that Americans, both Republican and Democrat, are sick and tired of politics as usual. They don’t want to remodel the house; they want a complete teardown. They want revolution, not evolution. Trump offers something radically different to Republican voters; Hillary Clinton does not.

The revolutionary Democratic candidate is, of course, Bernie Sanders.

But while Sanders has the right message, he is the wrong messenger for a number of reasons.

Bernie Sanders likes to refer to himself as a “democratic socialist.” Try as he may to explain to the American voter what that means, how it is not threatening in anyway, his only real success has been among young voters. To older Americans, socialism is seen as communism and well you know how that works. The ironic twist is that Bernie is not even a registered Democrat. He is an Independent.

Bernie is a spry 74 year-old. But the fact remains, at that age, he would be the oldest president ever to serve in office. How can he lead the revolution, some ask, if he will most likely need a walker by the end of his first term? What about a second term?

Just imagine for a moment Bernie’s message of a corrupt political system, where the deck is stacked against the middle and lower classes, coming from, lets say, a John Kennedyesque figure. Against a buffoon like Donald Trump, the Republican Party would no doubt be relegated to the dustbin of history after a certain electoral calamity.

But Democrats have Hillary. A deeply flawed candidate, from a deeply blemished political clan.

This presidential election cycle has produced a “perfect storm” on both sides of the political divide, with one candidate hated by his political party; one candidate propped up by her party’s elites. Who will American voters hate the least?

(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Filed Under: politics

The Turtle Lets The Cat Out Of The Bag

March 23, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

 

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell of Ky., and the Senate GOP leadership,listens during a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington, Tuesday, April 23, 2013, following a Republican strategy session. At left is Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn of Texas. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

For anyone who even had the slightest doubt the our hallowed Supreme Court is not a partisan, politicized institution, old Mitch McConnell set the record straight in an interview on last week’s Fox News Sunday.

In response to a question from host Chris Wallace, who asked if Senate Republicans would consider the nomination of Judge Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court after the election if Hillary Clinton were to prevail, McConnell responded that he “can’t imagine that a Republican majority in the United States Senate would want to confirm, in a lame duck session, a nominee opposed by the National Rifle Association [and] the National Federation of Independent Businesses.”

Gone was the original rationale that Obama’s nominee should not get a Senate vote during an election year. Gone was the talking point that we should let the American people, by way of the upcoming presidential election, decide who gets to pick the new justice.

This was a rare moment in American politics. The Majority Leader of the Senate admitting that Republicans must get the approval of the NRA in order to vote on a Supreme Court nominee. It is one thing to think such a thought or to perhaps discuss it among your fellow Republicans, but to admit it on national TV?

It’s almost too ironic, bordering on the comical, that only last month Chief Justice John Roberts Jr. delivered some blunt remarks about the Supreme Court confirmation process. The Senate should ensure that nominees are qualified, he said, and leave politics out of it.

This is rich because the Chief Justice spoke only 10 days before the sudden death of his colleague, Justice Antonin Scalia and he could not have known how timely, albeit awkward, his comments would turn out to be.

Will Justice Roberts once again speak out against politics influencing the confirmation process now that an actual vacancy has occurred? Don’t hold your breath.

Republicans are rightfully upset over the unexpected loss of their favorite, most partisan justice, Scalia. They know the ideological … OK I’ll say it …the political balance of the Court is at stake. Even a moderate justice, Democrat or Republican, will move the court away from the almost certain 5-4 conservative rulings you routinely got with Scalia on the bench.

Truth is, McConnell didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already suspect: the Supreme Court is a political body and not an impartial arbiter of the Constitution. With Scalia and the other four conservatives on the bench, the Court had almost become an extension of the Republican establishment.

What we didn’t know was that, according to the Majority Leader, the U.S. Constitution had been amended to read that U.S. Supreme Court justices were to be appointed with the advice and consent of the NRA, not the U.S. Senate.

(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Trump Takes Talk Of “Winning” To New Level

March 22, 2016 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

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Just days after predicting there would be riots if he is denied the GOP nomination, Donald Trump told a group supporters at an Arizona rally, “We’re going to win with our Second Amendment. We’re gonna win big league with our Second Amendment!”

Win with our Second Amendment?

While Trump did not go all the way, as did former Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle who talked about resorting to “second amendment remedies” against our tyrannical government, the message appeared to come across loud and clear to his cheering supporters

There will be riots. Armed riots.

Trump has not yet explained what he meant by winning “with our second amendment” but you can be sure he will deny he meant what his angry, dim-witted, gun-toting supporters assuredly understand it to mean. Armed insurrection.

The Republican National Convention will be held in Cleveland, Ohio, July 18-21. Did you know Ohio is an “open carry” state?

Trump, for all his angry rhetoric, is very careful about how he delivers his message of hate, preferring to speak in code … code well understood by his diehard supporters.

The GOP elites have vowed to stop Trump from securing its party’s nomination come hell or high water. Trump has “predicted” riots if that were to happen. Now he is going to win with the second amendment?

It doesn’t get scarier than this. Yet no one in the media, as far as I know, has confronted Trump about what he meant by his seemingly incendiary remark.

It would be tragic, and sadly ironic, if gun violence were to take place at a convention held by the party that does everything within its power to stop any type of gun regulation.

God help us.

Photo | moreperfectunionpodcast.com

 

Filed Under: politics

Dear GOP – There Is Nothing Lame About This President

March 21, 2016 By John DeProspo 14 Comments

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Adding to his amazing legacy, Barack Obama is causing Republican heads to explode today now that he has officially stepped foot on Cuban communist soil. The three-day Cuba trip, first by a U.S. President in over 88 years, is sure to be a game changer in U.S. – Cuba relationships.

And therein lies the problem for Republicans.

Republicans have done everything within their power over the last seven years to put a lid on anything that could bring credit to our first African American president. They’ve gone so far as to oppose even policies they once promoted, such as the Affordable Care Act, otherwise known as Obamacare.

No, Republicans are unhappy this morning as Obama sips his first tropical drink in the presence of Raul Castro, dictator of the evil communist island. They are reaching for their Maalox as hordes of Cubans cheer our intrepid President in the streets of Havana and laud him with chants of, “USA, USA, USA.”

It is so delicious to see our cool, calm and crafty president outmaneuver Republicans once again.

Do Republicans seriously think they can beat Obama in their fight over appointing a new Supreme Court Justice? Their extreme partisanship has blinded them to the fact that Obama has boxed them in for the umpteenth time. If they refuse to hold hearings on Obama’s nominee, they will surely pay a price at the polls come November. And not just in the presidential race, but also in contests for the Senate and House of Representatives.

Bobby Jindal had it so right when, in a moment of candor, he labeled the GOP the “Stupid Party.”

The Republican Party is heading towards its day of reckoning. After years of pushing conservatively popular wedge issues and speaking in dog whistles to a base of mostly white angry men, they now have Donald Trump as their likely presidential nominee.

While party elites will do everything within their power to deny Trump the nomination, they are once again done in by their own ineptitude. Deny Trump, who will either have enough delegates to win the nomination outright or have the highest delegate total of any candidate, and there will be rioting in the streets. And a catastrophic shellacking at the polls.

Congressional Republican leaders like to refer to President Obama as a lame duck.

There is nothing lame about this Presidente. “Ole Obama!”

Photo | AFP

Filed Under: politics

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