The Daily Nooze

"All the news we deem fit to print"

  • Home
  • politics
  • satire
  • breaking news
  • Archives
  • Show Your Support
  • Opinion
You are here: Home / satire / Top Ten Reasons Why Trump Is The Perfect GOP Nominee

Top Ten Reasons Why Trump Is The Perfect GOP Nominee

April 2, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

482327612-republican-presidential-candidate-donald-trump-gives.jpg.CROP.promo-xlarge2

The Republican establishment does not think highly of Donald Trump or his rabid followers.

But say what you will about Trump supporters: they’re dumb, uninformed and misguided. I tend to think they are the opposite: smart, knowledgeable and clear-minded.

Here is a top ten list of what Donald Trump has promised (in his own words) or would bring to the table, if he were to become president of the United States:

  1. “I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”
  2. “I’m the most militaristic person ever.”
  3. “I will build a great wall . . . and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me.”
  4. “I would use the greatest minds. I know the best negotiators.”
  5. “I would hit [ISIS] so hard your head would spin.”
  6. “I’m rich, really really rich.”
  7. “My doctor has said, ‘If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.’
  8. “I have great feelings of compassion and helping people.”
  9. “I’m smart, very smart.”
  10. “We will have so much winning if I get elected that you may get bored with the winning.”

Who wouldn’t want a man like this for president? Sounds like a godsend, for chrissake!

Of course, all those wonderful things about Donald Trump were said by, well, Donald Trump.

But as Trump supporters know, their man means what he says and says what he means. Billionaires don’t need to lie.

Why can’t Republican elites accept Trump and rally behind him? Why can’t they trust the good judgment of their voters?

Oh, and Donald Trump is a winner. He said so.

Photo | slate.com

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: satire

Comments

  1. Frank Little says

    April 2, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    You should add that Trump has said “People say I have the most beautiful hands.”

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      April 2, 2016 at 1:41 pm

      True. But they may be beautiful, but small. Anyway, it is not size that matters, right?

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

What If Trump Had Not Accepted Biden’s Offer For An Early Debate?

Many political analysts love to talk about the two pivotal moments in the 2024 … [Read More...]

  • Republicans Sound The Alarm: Harris Administration Could Threaten to Pass Laws Most Americans Actually Want
  • Some Republicans Worried Country Not Ready to Elect First Convicted Felon as President
  • The GOP Is Stuck With Two Losers

Follow us online

  • Facebook

Advertisements

Navigation

  • About Us
  • Show Your Support
  • Guest Posts
  • Great Links
  • Contact

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Copyright © 2025 The Daily Nooze.com. All Rights Reserved. "All the news we deem fit to print"™