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You are here: Home / satire / Cruz Aborts Campaign – Supporters Unhappy

Cruz Aborts Campaign – Supporters Unhappy

May 4, 2016 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

U.S. Senator Ted Cruz, a Republican from Texas, listens during Bloomberg Television in New York, U.S., on Wednesday, March 24, 2015. Cruz said his presidential run will be about bringing people together—even including social liberals, if they're interested. Photographer: Victor J. Blue/Bloomberg *** Local Caption *** Ted Cruz

Following his crushing defeat in yesterday’s Indiana primary, Ted Cruz has suspended his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination.

That he would chose to abort his attempt at the nomination, so late in the election cycle, has angered many loyal Cruz supporters.

“God picked him to be our next president,” said Tanya Bates. “That he would defy the will of the Almighty and announce such a late term aborting of his candidacy is nothing short of immoral.”

Cruz justified his action by noting he did not see any clear path to securing his party’s nomination. Yet supporters have noted that Ohio Gov. John Kasich could say the same thing but has chosen to carry his quest for the nomination full-term, all the way to the Republican National Convention in Cleveland this July.

“Dropping out of the race is not Ted’s choice to make,” said another Cruz supporter, Abigail Brown. “He was chosen by God to be our savior and now this?”

When confronted directly on his controversial decision, Cruz said. “Look, I understand running for any public office is a sacred thing. I also know choosing to leave a race should only be done under narrow circumstances… like running out of money. In the end, I believe in a candidate’s right to chose.”

Cruz’s father and born-again pastor, Rafael Cruz, was asked his opinion about his son’s shocking choice.

“God has great things in store for my son. I believe with all my heart he is a prophet of the Lord. But I support Ted’s decision to abort his campaign. No, God hasn’t given up on Ted. Nor Ted on God. There will be other opportunities in the future,” said the evangelical minister, hinting at a future run for the presidency by his son. “ God works in mysterious ways.”

Still, Cruz’s supporters are calling him a hypocrite and campaign killer. They have pledged never again to support him for any public office. They insist once God has tapped you to do something, you better well do it or risk eternal damnation. Some are calling Cruz’s choice to abort a mortal sin.

“I am at peace with my God,” said Ted Cruz. “He is merciful and understanding. He, in his wisdom, understands I did what I did because, well, I had no other option.”

Photo |  Victor J. Blue/Bloomberg

Breaking News! Kasich has also aborted his campaign! 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Wilbur Rudd says

    May 4, 2016 at 11:10 am

    Cruz should not be allowed to abort his campaign without first a deep, anal probe.

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      May 4, 2016 at 11:11 am

      That would be fitting!

      Reply
  2. Jon says

    May 4, 2016 at 11:36 am

    Spiritual man: “God is love.”

    Religious Cruz supporter: “That’s NOT in the bible!” – Jon B.

    TRUMP IN 2016!

    Reply
  3. Frank Little says

    May 4, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    Now with Kasich out, you could say he and Cruz believe in the early withdrawal method!

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      May 4, 2016 at 12:07 pm

      Not really early withdrawal but I get your point.

      Reply
  4. Charlie Sloane says

    May 4, 2016 at 12:51 pm

    Let the HRC v Drumpf bloodbath begin.

    Reply
    • John DeProspo says

      May 4, 2016 at 1:01 pm

      This should be “interesting” to say the least!

      Reply

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