Although Trump has publically stated he may not accept the election results, especially if he loses, a group of Republican elites have convinced their nominee to prepare a concession speech … just in case polls showing him with a 5% chance of winning are accurate.
Below is a leaked draft of the speech Trump plans to give if “the inevitable” inevitably happens:
I have just been informed by the bearded one, Wolf Blitzer, at CNN that Hillary Clinton has won the election. Of course I could point out how incredibly rigged this election was. I could talk about how the mainstream media, global bankers and both the Democratic and Republican Party conspired against me from the start. I could get into the whole issue of massive voter fraud. But I won’t.
No, I have been told by the Republican Party and that weasel Rinse Proboscis that I need to be a gracious loser for the good of the party and the country. That I have to suck it up like that flunky, Al Gore, did in 2000 after the election was stolen from him. I could point out how my own party abandoned me and failed to support me. But I won’t.
To all those loyal voters who supported me, all 25%, I thank you. I could harp on the fact that the election was not just stolen from me but from you too. But I won’t. I could warn you to hold on to your guns before “Crooked Hillary” knocks on your door to take them away. But I won’t because you already know that. And when that happens, you know what to do… if you know what I mean.
This is the part where I’m supposed to congratulate you, Hillary. So congratulations. There, I said it, Rinse! Congratulations Hillary on thwarting the will of the people with all your dishonest shenanigans. I could say I’d be the better president, but I won’t.
To all those disappointed Trump supporters, I’d like to tell you all to accept the election results. I’d like to tell you that, while you’re disappointed, this is how our democracy works. That the person with the most votes wins. But I can’t. Not when we’re about to swear in a criminal who should be locked up instead of being looked up to.
The way we can still hold our heads up high, my most wonderful followers, is if you continue to support the Trump brand. You know, I just might be back to challenge “Crooked Hillary” in 2020. It may not be on the Republican ticket. There may be no Republican Party.
As is always the case with Donald Trump, his concessions have about the same genuineness as his apologies.
Photo | (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)
John: I know this was in jest, but should he actually lose, I don’t his concession speech, if he actually gives, will be far off from this “leaked” one.
That’s the beauty of satire. Can border on reality. Will be interesting to see how this plays out.