Washington, D. C., Jan. 19 – Tomorrow, January 20, 2017, on the west front of the U.S. Capitol Building, Hillary Rodham Clinton will be sworn in as the nation’s 45th president.
The weather forecast calls for a cold, wintery day with a chance of snow. This, however, has not dampened the enthusiasm of Inauguration Day attendees who will be celebrating Clinton’s installation into office as the country’s first female Chief Executive.
Nor will celebrants be dismayed that Donald Trump, loser in one of the most lopsided presidential elections in modern history, has yet to concede the election or offer up his congratulations to the new Madam President.
Following his embarrassing loss, Trump promised to sue Clinton over what he called a “rigged” election. However, no legal action has been taken so far. Law scholars say the issue of a court challenge became moot when, on January 6, Congress counted the certified votes from each state and declared Hillary Clinton the winner.
At a recent rally in Noxon, Montana, Trump delivered a fiery speech to a group of militiamen. He denounced Clinton’s victory as a slap in the face of American democracy. Trump told his angry followers that he would not abandon them and that he is the rightful president.
“What the global bankers, the media and weak-kneed Republicans did to rig the election for Hillary is a travesty of justice. I will not stand for it … now or ever. I stand with you. We have to get our country back.”
“We gotta take these bastards,” Trump told his troops. Realizing he and his militiamen might be outgunned, Trump said, “Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on our part … and I think you’re just the guys to do it.”
The Secret Service has been on the lookout for possible violent actions from Trump sympathizers since Election Day. The agency told reporters they would be focusing on any mysterious float during tomorrow’s Inauguration Day parade.
As for Trump’s future, right wing media has started reporting that, as of tomorrow, he will name himself President in Exile and relocate to Russia.
Photo | cbsnews.com
category:satire
Donald… Fat, bigoted and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Good advice, but too late for The Donald.
With Trump in Russia, no more of that long distance bromance with Vlad.
Wouldn’t be surprised if Trump moves into Putin’s palace. They both love the color gold.
The reference to Animal House is priceless. I hope you watched Bill Mather last nite. A great plea for millenials to go out and vote for hrc
Thanks. I wonder how many readers will get the “Animal House” reference. That Eric “Otter” Stratton sure had a way with words!