OK. So you are dreading Thanksgiving dinner with your family for the first time in your life. The idea of sitting around a table for three hours with a family of Trumpites is making you sick. Instead of looking forward to some of your favorite foods you are dreading the ribbing you will surely be subjected to.
At a time like this, it is best to heed the sound advice offered in the movie classic, Animal House.
After Delta Tau Chi pledge Kent Dorfman (Flounder) foolishly agrees to let his fraternity brothers use his brand new Lincoln for a road trip (after it had been entrusted to him by his brother for the weekend), he starts sobbing like a baby when he later sees the car is a wreck. In an effort to soothe Flounder’s feelings, Delta brother John Blutarksy (Bluto) thrusts a six-pack into his hands and offers up these immortal words:
“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”
Some heavy drinking is just what’s called for this Thanksgiving. Instead of going for the turkey, try hitting the Tangueray. You are guaranteed to forget your woes and, for a short time at least, forget that Donald Trump is our president-elect.
Animal House’s brother Bluto was so right. What’s the use of crying over spilled milk? The election is over. The damage has been done. There is nothing you can do but accept it. So let your family gloat about their man. Once properly plastered, nothing will matter as nothing will register.
Then it will be on to next Thanksgiving when all the talk will be about our new president, Mike Pence.
Photo | youtube.com
Poor Flounder. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
To his credit, Flounder went on to become a sensitivity trainer in Cleveland.