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It’s On To Round Six … The Fun Resumes!

January 12, 2016 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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The sixth Republican debate and first presidential primary debate of 2016 is scheduled for this Thursday, Jan. 14 in South Carolina at the North Charleston Coliseum and Performing Arts Center. It couldn’t have come soon enough. The country is antsy to resume the good old-fashioned entertainment provided by the Republican lineup of candidates.

It is sad to learn that one of the regulars, Rand Paul, will not make it to the prime time stage, having been relegated to the kids’ table by Fox Business Network. But we did get some excitement from Dr. Paul when he threw a tantrum and announced he would rather skip the debate altogether than share the debate stage with also-rans Huckabee, Fiorina and Santorum. (Rand Paul To GOP … Take Your Kids’ Table And …”)

This is going to be fun! Look for some sparks to fly now that we are actually into the election year. The candidates will be jockeying for position with the first primary contest in Iowa only a few weeks away.

Will any candidate, or moderator for that matter, have the guts to bring up the “birther” issue concerning Cruz? Yes, Fox Business Network is hosting the debate and the questions will most likely revolve around economic, domestic and international policy issues… but what the heck! Why not put Senor Rafael Edward Cruz on the spot?

Once again, it will be a make or break moment for the establishment favorite, Jed Bush. Will he disappoint his donor class … again? You can pretty much bet on it. This year’s angry Republican base wants nothing to do with Bush or any candidate who reeks of experience or even shows a hint of moderation.

Can the insider, Marco Rubio, successfully paint himself as a Washington outsider? With as little time as he spends inside the Beltway, the answer could be “yes!”

Look for Chris Christie to remind us that he was a Federal prosecutor during 9-11 … for the umpteenth time. The fact that Bush didn’t actually nominate him until December 7, 2001, and he did not assume office until early 2002 be damned!

John Kasich will try to bring common sense to the debate stage, but will have little luck. He will, no doubt, get on the moderators for not giving him equal time.

We all hope the good Dr. Carson manages to stay awake for the entire debate. His campaign is sinking faster than the collective IQ of the Republican base.

Did I forget anyone? Oops, Trump and Cruz! Yes, they may go at it, but with the feigned earnestness that comes from their mutual admiration.

Enjoy the show … until the next installment of this long-running comedy series on January 28, in Iowa.

Image by DonkeyHotey via Flickr Creative Commons.

Filed Under: politics

Rand Paul To GOP… “Take Your Kids’ Table And …”

January 12, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

47562001.cachedAfter being left out of this Thursday night’s prime-time lineup by Fox Business Network, Rand Paul announced he will boycott the debate. He said, as a “top-tier” candidate, he was not going to be relegated to the undercard (kids’ table) debate featuring such also-rans as Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum.

“I won’t debate anything that’s not first-tier, because we have a first-tier campaign,” Paul told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer on Monday. “What, all of a sudden I’m chopped liver? I’m’ 100% USDA prime, Wolf.”

“This is an absolute travesty,” a Paul campaign spokesman said. “By any reasonable criteria Senator Paul has a top tier campaign. He will not let the media decide the tiers of this race and will instead take his message directly to the voters of New Hampshire and Iowa,”

So, while Fox airs the next Republican debate, Paul will be out on the hustings in an attempt to lift his slumping poll numbers. “He is determined not to be sent to the ‘kids’ table’ for the next debate, scheduled for January 18, in all-important Iowa,” said the campaign spokesman.

When asked if it were a good idea to skip the Thursday debate, even if it meant being placed with the second-tier candidates, Paul said, “This is all bogus, man, no way would I get between Fiorina, Huckabee or Santorum. I blame RNC chair, Reince Priebus, for this travesty.”

Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus said on Fox News that Paul’s anger was misplaced and that he had not even heard from Paul that he would skip the debate. “Rand Paul is ‘a varsity candidate’ that has done very well,” said Priebus,” No one around here considers him a water boy.”

If only more Republican voters felt the same way as Reince then, perhaps, Paul would not be averaging slightly over 2% in Republican national polls.

Photo | thedailybeast.com

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: satire

My One Question For Each Republican Candidate

January 11, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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The next Republican presidential debate, hosted by Fox Business Network, will be held this Thursday in North Charleston, South Carolina. Fox has not yet announced it’s field of prime-time “debaters.” While the focus will be on economic, domestic and international policy issues, here are the questions I would ask the likely adult-table candidates:

Donald Trump – “Not much is known about your wife, Melania. How do you think your supporters, especially evangelicals, would react knowing that  if you were elected, she would be the first First Lady to have posed nude?”

Ted Cruz – “Why does everyone hate you? Even your old college roommate, Craig Mazin, said,“I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone. I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”

Ben Carson – “You have said God directed you to run for office. How was this communicated to you; in a dream, phone call or email?

Jeb Bush – “Do you regret not having listened to the words of your mother when her advice to you about running for president was: don’t?”

Marco Rubio – “It has been reported that while in elementary school, you were such a fan of the Osmonds that you formed a tribute singing group with your sister and cousin to entertain relatives. True?”

Chris Christie – “ You have been quoted as saying ‘Yes, I’m a Catholic and I believe in the teachings of the Church, but I’ve used birth control, and not just the rhythm method.’ Have you and Mary Pat used other types of birth control?”

While articles on this site are often satirical, my proposed questions for each of the candidates are based on actual, verifiable facts.

Sometimes it’s just enough to let the facts speak for themselves!

 

Breaking News – Fox has just announced the lineup for the upcoming debate. John Kasich has made the cut. The full slate of “debaters” will be: Trump, Cruz, Carson Rubio, Christie and Kasich.

Here is my Kasich question:

Kasich – “You’ve often mentioned, in speeches and interviews,  you are a good friend of Bono. Would that be Sonny?”

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: politics

Fox News … National Security Threat?

January 9, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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A group of concerned citizens has petitioned the FCC to require Fox News Channel to include a warning label on all its TV broadcasts.

“We view Fox News as a national security threat many times greater than ISIS. “ said group leader Jason Banks. “Over the past seventeen years, all that the network has done is distort, misinform, and lie to its viewers. We now have a significant portion of our population suffering brain injury. They live in an alternate universe.”

“Fox News is the number one cause for all the division and fear in our country,” added group member Linda Schmidt. “Fox News is not, and never has been, a legitimate news channel.”

The group has accused Fox News of being nothing more than a project by right-wing propagandist Rupert Murdoch and Republican media strategist Roger Ailes to spread disinformation and promote GOP politicians. And they have carried out that mission with a roster of rabidly partisan hosts broadcasting provable lies.

“The reason we have such a sorry group of Republican politicians these days is all because of Fox. Without Fox News there would be no Trump. That a significant group of Americans hate their government and are arming themselves is due to Fox. Yes, Fox is a threat to our national security. They are the preferred news outlet for gun-carrying, paranoid white racists.”

Jason Banks observed, “Fox’s motto, “fair and balanced,” is pure Orwellian genius. A new Gallup poll exposed Fox News for the fraud that it is by finding that instead of being “fair and balanced,” the cable news leader caters to a viewership that is 94% Republican (Fair and balanced exposed). A more truthful slogan, said Banks, would be “misinformation for the unbalanced.”

While the FCC is the watchdog for consumer deception and fraud, the group admits their chances of getting the agency to force Fox News to display a warning label on all its broadcasts are slim. But they refuse to let the network continue to call itself “news.” Said Banks, “They are entertainment, pure and simple. If this isn’t false advertising, then what is?

Here is the proposed warning label:

Fox News is not a news channel. They are registered as an entertainment network. Any correlation between what is said on its “news programs” and the truth is purely coincidental and unintentional. Watching Fox News over an extended period of time can cause a significant loss in IQ points and can turn you into a government-hating, gun-toting, uniformed bigot. Watch Fox at your peril.

Photo | collegehumor.com

Filed Under: satire

But Wasn’t Obama’s Mother An American Citizen?

January 8, 2016 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

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This coming Thursday, January 14, the Fox Business Network will air the next Republican presidential debate, focusing on economic, domestic and international policy issues. I am holding out hope, however, that one of the moderators asks Donald Trump the following question:

“Mr. Trump, some people have raised the issue of Ted Cruz’s eligibility to seek the presidency, most recently Ann Coulter, a supporter of yours. Most legal scholars agree that Mr. Cruz would be eligible to run for president because his mother was an American citizen at the time of his birth in Canada. Do you agree? And if yes, how is Mr. Cruz’s situation any different from that of President Obama whose mother was also an American citizen born in Kansas?”

Trump needs to be put on the spot. If he disagrees, then why hasn’t he, the “king of the birthers,” aggressively gone after Ted Cruz as he did with our President? If he agrees, then why did he push so hard for the President to produce his long form birth certificate? If a candidate’s birth place is not the deciding  factor, then President Obama was always eligible for the office … even if he had been born out of the country (which is clearly not the case), like Ted Cruz?

The constitutional requirements for a presidential candidate created by the Founding Fathers are concise but not very clear. Two provisions are obvious: The candidate must be 35 years of age and a resident of the United States for 14 years. The third qualification: He or she must be a “natural born citizen.”

But what does “natural born citizen” mean?

The Supreme Court — the ultimate arbiter of constitutional questions — has never directly ruled on the citizenship provision for presidential office seekers. And that means a note of uncertainty exists. Legal experts agree that a child becomes a “natural born citizen” if either parent is an American citizen, regardless of where the birth takes place.

There have been a number of unsuccessful citizen lawsuits filed over the years on this issue but they have all been dismissed due to lack of standing. About the only way a court would get involved in this “constitutional ambiguity” is if a state, citing Cruz’s Canadian birthplace, tries to exclude him from the ballot, or another presidential candidate challenges Cruz’s eligibility.

Both highly unlikely!

Getting back to Trump, a question such as the one I propose would be very revealing. If he truly thinks Cruz’s Canadian birth disqualifies him from office, why has he not championed this issue as he did with Obama? If he agrees with the accepted legal understanding that Cruz is a “natural born citizen” because his mother was an American citizen, why did he fight so hard for Obama to prove he was born in the United States… if it doesn’t matter?

It is more than obvious to most people with at least half a brain that the whole “birther” movement was, and is, nothing but a racist reaction to Obama’s status as the first African American president of the United States.

Now if old Jeb wanted to do something useful, he as a plaintiff with standing, should ask a court to weigh in on this important issue, once and for all.

Filed Under: politics

Low-Information Voters Are Not The Only Trump Fans

January 7, 2016 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

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While they make up the bulk of his base, low-information-Fox-News-types are not the only Trump devotees.

Members of a secretive Hollywood group of right-wingers, Friends of Abe, are also admirers of “The Donald.” The group was formed in 2005 and has been described as a “stealth right-wing group,” “influential in conservative circles,” and “GOP support group.”

FOA keeps its list of members under lock-and-key (to avoid potential backlash in decidedly left-wing Tinseltown). But we do know that some of its founding and high profile “friends” include Gary Sinise, Kelsey Grammer, Patricia Heaton, Clint Eastwood, Jon Voight and Oscar-nominated screenwriter Lionel Chetwynd.

“It’s a growing movement, and word is getting out that there’s many of us in this business,” singer Pat Boone, an FOA associate, told The Washington Times in 2008. “If certain studio execs—hirers and firers—learn that this is a movement and growing, and that some of these people that they hire are of this inclination, these people could be unemployed.”

The hundreds of conservative members are invited to attend strictly off-the-record functions where Hollywood celebrities get a chance to mingle with political big wigs. The group has hosted and toasted such conservative luminaries as John Boehner, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. Past events have included a speech by Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia.

This past July, FOA invited Donald Trump to address the group at a private dinner held at Los Angeles’ Luxe Sunset Boulevard Hotel.

Friends of Abe maintains they have zero interest in endorsing a candidate or commenting on a candidate’s controversial statements.

“We invited Mr. Trump for the same reason we invite all of our speakers: to give our members a chance to hear from movement conservatives without the filter of the media so they can reach their own conclusions,” the group told the Los Angeles ABC station.

At this point, I am sure you will never again think the same of some of the Hollywood celebrities that are members of this secretive right-wing group.

Gary, how could you do this to me?  I loved you in Forest Gump!”

Photo | telegraph.co.uk

 

 

Filed Under: politics

It’s A Puzzlement – Why Won’t Trump Attack Cruz’s Canadian Birth?

January 5, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Breaking News – More BS from Trump. Today, after this article was posted, the Washington Post reported Trump as saying Ted Cruz could run into trouble if he won the party’s nomination because he was born in Canada. This is only a few months after he said the opposite. Speaking of Cruz’s Canadian birth, Trump told ABC News in September, “I hear it was checked out by every attorney and every which way and I understand Ted is in fine shape.” If Trump were truly concerned about Cruz’s eligibility to run for president, he would ask not about where Cruz was born (there is no doubt he was born in Canada), but to prove his mother was an American citizen at the time of his birth. As reported in my article, I believe Trump knows full well that if a child is born of at least one American parent, he or she is considered a “natural born citizen” eligible to run for the presidency. The lawyers Trump referred to in September are right. If Cruz’s mother were an American citizen at the time of his birth, Cruz has no problem. The whole Obama “birtherism” stunt was a way to demean our first president of color. End of story.

Donald Trump “made his bones” during the last presidential election questioning Barack Obama’s birthplace. The line of attack was simple: if Obama was not born in the United States, he is not a “natural born” citizen and, hence, ineligible to be president. Trump, who became known as ” king of the birthers” believed Obama was born in Kenya.

Trump demanded our president produce his “long form birth certificate” to prove he was born in Hawaii. Of course, such a document was produced but the birthers labeled it a fake.

So here we are in 2016 with Donald Trump as the front-runner for the Republican presidential nomination and not very much concern about the actual foreign birth of his closest Republican rival, Senor Rafael Edward Cruz. To many observers, it’s a puzzlement.

To me, this is no mystery at all.

The Constitution gives three eligibility requirements to be president of the United States: one must be 35 years of age, a resident “within the United States” for 14 years, and a “natural born citizen.” Unfortunately, the Supreme Court has never ruled on what “natural born citizen” actually means. The accepted law is that if someone is born of at least one American parent, no matter where, that child satisfies the “natural born citizen” requirement of the Constitution. Was there ever any question John McCain was eligible to run for president even though he was born in Panama?

I am guessing Donald Trump is smart enough to know Cruz’s mother is an American citizen born in Delaware. But wasn’t Obama’s mother also an American citizen born in Kansas? Of course! That is why the whole “birther” movement was, and is, nothing but a racist reaction to Obama’s status as the first African American president of the United States.

But since when have facts stopped Trump from smearing someone? After all, while the conventional understanding is that someone born of an American parent is deemed to be a “natural born citizen,” the Supreme Court has never weighed in on this topic. Fertile ground for a Trump attack, wouldn’t you think?

If Trump, or another of the other “birthers” wanted to create some havoc for Senor Cruz, they definitely could.

Cruz refuses to attack Donald Trump and visa versa. Why?

There is only one explanation for why Trump hasn’t aggressively gone there (besides our current understanding of the Constitutional requirements). Ted Cruz is part of Trump’s exit strategy. When Trump bows out of the race, and he will eventually, Cruz will be the heir to Trump’s fortune … his rabid base.

Photo | toprightnews.com

Filed Under: politics

Top Five Reasons Why Trump Supporters Love Their Man

January 4, 2016 By John DeProspo 8 Comments

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The GOP establishment just doesn’t get it: why would anyone support a buffoon like Donald Trump? Here is a man with zero political experience; a man who boasts of being political incorrect; a man who, in the famous words of John McCain, might be labeled a “wacko bird.” Yet there he is, leading his Republican opponents in the polls … month after month.

In an effort to find out what Trump supporters like most about the man, MM interviewed a number of his devoted followers. Here are the top five reasons why voters are attracted to Trump:

  1. “He has no political experience. Zip. That is why I think he is perfect for the job,” said Jake Brenner, who recently was denied a fast food job because he did not meet the qualification of having a high school diploma.
  2. “He really understands the struggles of the common man,” said Abigail Scruggs of the billionaire when interviewed at her trailer home.
  3. “He’s a smart businessman, the kind of winner America desperately needs, “ said Jim Grey about the businessman who has declared corporate bankruptcy four times.
  4. “He says what’s on his mind and could care less about being politically correct,” said Dave Manning of the man whose statements about Muslims are about to get him banned from Great Britain.
  5. “He is a born leader who just wants to serve his country and make it great again,” said Greta Jones about the man who sought multiple deferments in order to avoid service in Viet Nam.

Yes, Trump’s supporters are a fiercely loyal bunch. There is nothing their hero can say or do to change their minds. Facts be damned! One could say Donald Trump is the new American Idol.

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Photo | businessinsider.com

 

Filed Under: satire

“Of Course Trump Will Be The Nominee!” Say Loyal Supporters

January 3, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Ahead of the next Republican presidential debate scheduled for January 14 in North Charleston, South Carolina, I had the opportunity to interview a few Donald Trump supporters. I was taken aback by their fierce loyalty to the TV celebrity/real estate billionaire. Here are some of their comments:

“The man is not a politician. I just love that! He speaks his mind and really cares about people like me,” said Abigail Scruggs at her home at the Green Valley trailer park. “ Trump’s good with money. He’s a successful businessman who climbed the ladder of success.”

I asked Ms. Scruggs how a billionaire who lives in luxury penthouses could possibly relate to someone living in a trailer home, on social security disability benefits? Her reply was quick. “He wasn’t always a billionaire! I heard he started at the bottom with only a small loan from his daddy. He’s an American success story! People like that don’t forget their roots.” Yes, Trump has admitted to a humble beginning with only a small loan from his father ($1 million.)

“I like that he wants to make ‘Merica great again by getting rid of all the immigrants,” said Jim Bob Mosley. “And unlike that Kenyan Obama, he doesn’t want to let those Muslim refugee terrorists into the country.” I asked Mosley if he believes Trump wants to deport all immigrants or just those here Illegally. “Who cares, they don’t belong here. Build the goddamn wall!”

“Trump’s a born leader. He’s a very smart man. He even said he would be the smartest president if elected,” offered Jenny Davis.” He will run rings around all those dumb world leaders, including Putin.” It was widely reported Putin recently called Trump an “absolute leader,” and praised him for his brilliant mind.

When asked if they would support Ted Cruz (or any other Republican) if Trump were not the Republican nominee, the response was unanimous. “Of course Trump will be the nominee! He’s winning in all the polls. How can he lose? Heck in our state his lead over Cruz is 20 points.” The most recent Fox poll does indeed have Trump leading Cruz by exactly 20 points.

It seems Trump’s loyal supporters can’t even envision the possibility of his not getting the nomination. Call it a case of unconditional love. (For Trump Supporters, It’s Unconditional Love)

Photo | plus.google.com

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Filed Under: satire

Does Winning The Iowa Caucus Really Matter?

January 2, 2016 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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OK, 2015 is officially behind us and it’s only one month until the first presidential primary contest in Iowa: the caucuses. All the speculation, hype and polling will give way to actual voting.

But does the Iowa caucus really matter?

If recent history is any guide, the answer on the Republican side is “no.” Just look at the last two caucus winners: Mike Huckabee in 2008, Rick Santorum in 2012. Neither one could parlay their win into any kind of momentum. This is mostly due to the fact that evangelicals have an out-sized presence in Iowa; they made up 57 percent of Republican caucus attendees in 2012.

The Iowa caucus, however, has been a great predictor on the Democratic side. In 2000, it was Al Gore; in 2004, it was John Kerry; in 2008 it was Barack Obama (in 2012 President Obama ran unopposed.)

The latest Republican polling in Iowa has Donald Trump and Ted Cruz in a virtual tie. For the Democrats, various polls have Hillary Clinton leading Bernie Sanders anywhere from 9 to 18 points. Sanders is doing much better in New Hampshire, the second state to hold a primary. In three out of four polls, Sanders is leading Clinton from 2 to 10 points. In one poll, Clinton is leading Sanders by 3 points.

In a sign that it ain’t what it used to be for Republicans, establishment favorite, Jeb Bush, recently cancelled over $1 million of reserved advertising time in Iowa. Of course that hasn’t stopped Jeb’s super PAC, Right to Rise USA, from committing to spend $3.6 million between now and caucus day.

While Iowa will continue to be the first presidential primary contest (it’s written into state law), it is losing its luster as the be-all and end-all of presidential politics. So if you’re Ted Cruz (or Trump for that matter) I wouldn’t gloat about such a win, from such an atypical state. Just ask Santorum or Huckabee.

Image courtesy of sdmania at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Filed Under: politics

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