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Archives for March 2017

In Effort To Improve Image, Trump Introduces White House Dog

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With the ever-deepening Russian scandal looming over him, Donald Trump, on Friday, introduced a new member to the White House … his dog. Some say this is a calculated move to deflect attention from the controversy surrounding his administration and to endear him to dog lovers everywhere.

“I’d like for you all to meet my new best friend, Boris,” said Trump. “He is a mix Black Russian Terrier and Mexican Chihuahua.”

The adorable pooch was an instant hit with the assembled White House press corps..

One journalist asked Trump if he named his dog after the late Russian president, Boris Yeltsin.

“No,” said Trump. “I named him after my favorite childhood cartoon character, Boris Badenov, from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.”

If Trump’s aim was to distract the press from the political storm engulfing his presidency, he missed the mark.

“Sir, with all due respect, and with all that’s going on, should you be naming your dog after a fictional Russian spy?” asked an intrepid reporter.

“When are you people going to understand this whole Russian thing is a ruse perpetrated by Obama and the Democrat Party?” snapped Trump. “It’s a set-up to distract the American people from all the fabulous accomplishments of my administration.”

“Why aren’t you reporting about the illegal Obama wiretapping of my office at Trump Tower?” asked the new president.

Someone yelled out from the back of the room, ”Because it is not true. Only yesterday James Comey, your FBI director, asked the Justice Department to publicly reject your wiretapping allegation.”

Trump pretended not to hear the reporter’s answer. Instead, he took a biscuit out of his pocket and threw it up in the air. Boris, eyeing the treat, jumped to snatch it.

“Boris and I are going to be best friends and the American people are going to love him as much as me,” said the newly-minted dog lover. “They just have to get to know him.”

“I have to admit, I was never a dog person, but just look at that face!” exclaimed Trump as he prepared to leave with Boris for another weekend golf trip to Mar-a-Lago.

Photo | ohmldog.com

Caution – this could be fake news!

 

 

Trump Eats Steaks Well-Done … If Only We Had Known Sooner!

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How a person eats his steak matters. If we had known Donald Trump likes his meat well-done … and with gobs of ketchup … he might still be just another crass billionaire.

Food experts say eating steaks with even a little bit of red in them is better than eating steaks without. It’s a simple matter of science, a chemical and physical truth … the result of an alchemy of fat and protein and salt, and the way matter transforms when subjected to heat, and the way our bodies connect the chemicals of taste to the chemicals of pleasure.

Of course, we now know Trump’s fondness for science and facts. Very tenuous. Sad.

It seems Trump persists in eating shoe-leathery meat despite, no doubt, the urgings of steakhouse chefs, well-intentioned servers, friends, family, critics, thousands of magazine articles, hundreds of cookbooks, and the entire collective wisdom of thousands of years of gastronomy, all of whom saying Try it, you’ll like it. 

But no, Trump is too stubborn to try something different. If only there had been some forewarning!

A person who won’t eat his steak any other way but well-done is a person who won’t entertain the notion that there could be a better way. This is a bad trait for anyone, especially a president.

For the President of the United States of America, a man who is the most powerful person in the world, to categorically reject external input can be disastrous.

“It’s only steak” you say. But no, it’s actually much more. It’s everything. It’s a choice to silence experts who suggest a different way, to dismiss their course corrections, to reject the very notion that expertise outside one’s own can have value!

But we should have known our headstrong president eats food in non-recommended, unorthodox ways.

In 2011, long before he entered the presidential race, Trump was spotted having lunch with Sarah Palin at a New York pizzeria.

The life-long New Yorker ate his pizza with a fork and knife!

Photo | firstwefeast.com

With End Near, Trump Has No Choice But To Play To His Base

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“And now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain …”

                                                              – My Way, Frank Sinatra

They say everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. We may be witnessing the end of the Trump presidency.

With a number of investigations into Trump’s Russia ties already under way, and a few more likely to come, the new president seems to be circling the wagons and preparing for the final battle.

In an almost predictable move, Trump is deflecting in a way he knows has always worked for him … Obama bashing. No, the latest accusation isn’t as wild as when he claimed Obama was literally the founder of ISIS. But this new one is up there in craziness.

In a series of tweets, Trump is accusing the former president of illegally spying on him during the campaign by wiretapping Trump Tower.

Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!

Is it legal for a sitting President to be “wire tapping” a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!

I’d bet a good lawyer could make a great case out of the fact that President Obama was tapping my phones in October, just prior to Election!

How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!

No one knows for sure the source of Trump’s information but there is word that it stems from a recent Breitbart article. But can the National Enquirer be ruled out?

Trump knows the end is near. His seemingly irrational tweet storm is likely intended to keep his loyal supporters rallied around him no matter what information comes to light.

Call it a form of damage control.

While Trump may lose the White House, he does not want to lose those loyal followers who will believe whatever conspiracy theory is being peddled to them.

Trump needs them for his next venture … unless his Twitter access is hampered by prison walls.

Photo | Josh Haner/The New York Times

 

Sessions Rains On Trump’s Parade

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After Donald Trump’s masterful tour de force in front of a joint session of Congress just two days ago, his Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, is today dominating the news.

Instead of talking about the skillful way Trump was able to read from a teleprompter during his first address to Congress, we are instead discussing Sessions lying to Congress.

News outlets are reporting that Jeff Sessions, during his confirmation hearing, lied to Congress under oath about communications with the Russians. Instead of Trump basking in the afterglow of his prime-time performance, we have Sessions squirming in the aftermath of possible perjury.

Sessions issued a statement denying he lied to Congress. In a tweet late Wednesday, Sessions said, “I never met with any Russian officials to discuss issues of the campaign. I have no idea what this allegation is about. It is false.”

Sessions does not deny meeting twice with the Russian ambassador to the United States, Sergey Kislyak, during the presidential campaign. But he denies those meetings had anything to do with the Trump campaign.

The White House has rejected the latest bombshell to hit the Trump administration, claiming the reports are just an effort to undermine, and deflect from, Trump’s impressive showing before Congress.

“This is the latest attack against the Trump administration by partisan Democrats,” a senior administration official said, according to CNN.

“Sessions met with the ambassador in an official capacity as a member of the Senate armed services committee, which is entirely consistent with his testimony.”

Trump has not personally weighed in on the Sessions controversy, instead taking to Twitter to brag about how much his election victory has improved the economy.

“Since November 8th, Election Day, the Stock Market has posted $3.2 trillion in GAINS and consumer confidence is at t 15 year high. Jobs!”

Unfortunately for the new president, this story is not going away anytime soon. Not only are both Republicans and Democrats asking Sessions to recuse himself from the DOJ’s probe into Russian hacking of the 2016 election, but some Democrats are asking for the Attorney General to resign.

Photo | nbcnews.com

 

 

 

Most Cringeworthy Moment During Trump’s Address To Congress

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Last night, Donald Trump delivered his first speech to a joint session of Congress. And in many ways, it had all the hallmarks of the typical Trump campaign speech … a lot of promises, a number of verifiable lies and a total lack of substance.

Building the big beautiful wall got mentioned, as did bringing back manufacturing jobs from abroad. And, of course, we heard once again of the need to “repeal and replace” Obamacare with “reforms that expand choice, increase access, lower cost and at the same time provide better heath care.” About the only thing missing was a guaranteed cure for cancer!

But the most bizarre moment of the evening came when Trump talked about the raid in Yemen that took the life of Navy SEAL William “Ryan” Owens. Trump invited the dead soldier’s widow, Carryn Owens, to the gathering. She was seated next to Trump’s daughter, Ivanka.

Trump praised the fallen soldier, saying, “Ryan died as he lived: a warrior, and a hero — battling against terrorism and securing our nation,” while Carryn Owens was overcome with tears. “I just spoke to Gen. Mattis, who reconfirmed that, and I quote, ‘Ryan was a part of a highly successful raid that generated large amounts of vital intelligence that will lead to many more victories in the future against our enemies.’”

Unfortunately, many military analysts consider the raid a failure … a botched mission poorly planned and executed. Trump has recently blamed both his own military and Barack Obama for the raid gone bad … everyone but himself.

After a long … very very long …. standing ovation for the sobbing widow, the man who cares so much about records, ratings and crowd sizes went off script, saying Ryan Owens was looking down and was “very happy because he just broke a record” for a standing ovation!

The fallen hero, who might still be alive if not for a very questionable operation, is very happy because he broke a record for standing ovations? How totally insensitive. How totally Trump.

Owens’s father, Bill, refused to meet with Trump after his son’s body was brought back to the U.S. because of his anger over the raid, which marked a rare use of American ground forces inside Yemen. He has called for an investigation.

“Don’t hide behind my son’s death to prevent an investigation,” Bill Owens told The Miami Herald. “I want an investigation. … The government owes my son an investigation.”

With our current president, who seems to never make mistakes, and a Republican-controlled Congress, it is unlikely the grieving father’s request will ever be met.

Photo | businessinsider.com

 

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