***Breaking News as reported by MoronMajority.com***
Donald Trump is deporting Lady Liberty.
By way of a controversial executive order signed yesterday, Trump is packing up the iconic symbol of American freedom and shipping her off to her country of birth.
“Since 1886, she has been standing in New York Harbor welcoming the tired, the poor and huddled masses,” said Trump. “No more. What she really has welcomed to our shores are criminals, drug dealers and rapists. And some good people, I’m sure.”
“We just can’t afford to have all those foreigners continue to take our good American jobs. And we can’t afford giving them free stuff like food, clothing and shelter, either. Did you know she actually asks other countries to send us their homeless?” Trump pointed out.
Trump has a few ideas for the pedestal that wll remain on Liberty Island.
“I think we should honor a true patriot with a statute. Robert E. Lee, a great man and fabulous general comes to mind,” offered Trump. “Or we could honor one of the greatest American presidents and my favorite, Andrew Jackson. And, by the way, there is no way a radical like Harriet Tubman is going to replace Old Hickory on the twenty-dollar bill. Not while I’m president.”
When informed of the news, French president, Emmanuel Macron, was saddened his country’s gift to America, commemorating the alliance of France and the United States during the American Revolution, was being returned.
“This truly is a dark day for liberty, democracy and for all the peoples of the world that look to America as a beacon of hope,” said Macron. ”But we will re-gift it to a country that still believes in the ideals Lady Liberty stands for … our great friend Canada.”
Mass protests have already broken out in major cities throughout the United States. Americans are up in arms over the removal of the beloved statue.
“Yes, there are some Americans who want to keep Lady Liberty, whose real name is La Liberté éclairant le monde, by the way,” said Trump. “But there are also many people who want her to go. I think many more people.”
An online petition has been started for Congress to pass a law protecting the Statue of Liberty and overriding Trump’s executive order.
Will Congress act in time?
Photo | modernliberals.com
Warning – This could be fake news!
One of your better satirical pieces because … it’s very plausible!
Thanks.
She’s a 5, max, maybe a 3, so yeah, let ‘er go.
Ha! But was she ever a 10?