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Archives for 2018

Government Shutdown All Part Of GOP Game Plan

January 20, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Headlines this morning seem to all be questioning how a party that controls both houses of Congress and the executive branch could not avert a government shutdown. There is much talk about legislative incompetence. Trump is being labeled an ineffective president.

But these storylines miss the point.

Donald Trump and the GOP got exactly what they wanted … a shutdown.

With Republican prospects for the 2018 midterms looking exceptionally bad, a new narrative needed to be concocted. And Trump and company got their wish … blame Democrats for the failure to keep the government open.

The bet is that Republicans can anger a majority of Americans by mounting a media blitz that blames Democrats for the shutdown … despite GOP control of Congress.

It is being reported that Senate Minority Leader, Chuck Shumer, met with Donald Trump yesterday morning to try and work out an agreement to avert the shutdown.

“I reluctantly put the border wall on the table for discussion — even that was not enough to entice the president to finish the deal,” Shumer said, adding: “What has transpired since that meeting in the Oval Office is indicative of the entire tumultuous and chaotic process Republicans have engaged in the negotiations thus far. Even though President Trump seemed to like an outline of a deal in the room, he did not press his party in Congress to accept it.”

Shumer, who seems to buy the bunk that Republicans wanted to avert a shutdown, has laughably accused the president of not “taking yes for an answer.”

Already the Trump TV Netowrk, Fox News, is putting the shutdown on the Democrats. The new Republican talking point is to brand this massive governmental failure the “Shumer Shutdown.”

That this gambit is all about the 2018 midterm elections was given away by Trump in one of his early morning tweets:

For those asking, the Republicans only have 51 votes in the Senate, and they need 60. That is why we need to win more Republicans in 2018 Election! We can then be even tougher on Crime (and Border), and even better to our Military & Veterans!

Will a majority of Americans buy this malarkey?

Right now, most Americans are blaming the GOP for the shutdown. But that is all subject to change once the Republican spin machine kicks into high gear.

That is the bet.

Don’t believe this is all part of the Republican game plan?

Here is a statement issued by the White House even before the official deadline for Congress to keep the government open passed at 12:01 am last night:

Senate Democrats own the Schumer Shutdown. Tonight, they put politics above our national security, military families, vulnerable children, and our country’s ability to serve all Americans. We will not negotiate the status of unlawful immigrants while Democrats hold our lawful citizens hostage over their reckless demands. This is the behavior of obstructionist losers, not legislators. When Democrats start paying our armed forces and first responders we will reopen negotiations on immigration reform. During this politically manufactured Schumer Shutdown, the President and his Administration will fight for and protect the American people.

(AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: blame Democrats, Donald Trump, GOP game plan, government shutdown, midterm elections, Mitch McConnell, Senate vote, Shumer shutdown

Trump – “I’m The Least Collusiony Person You’ve Ever Met, Believe Me”

January 18, 2018 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

FBI special prosecutor, Robert Mueller, wants to speak with Donald Trump … and the president is ready to comply.

Even though Trump has labeled Mueller’s investigation into possible collusion between his campaign and Russia a “witch hunt” and a “hoax”, Ty Cobb, Trump’s lawyer, says his client is “very eager” to speak with Mueller.

“I’ve got nothing to hide so why shouldn’t I talk with the guy?” asked Trump. “I’m the least collusiony president in history.”

“I think it’s more than appropriate for the Mueller people to explore anything they’re interested in,” Cobb said, claiming he is focused on “getting the facts out.”

But there appears to be a slight hitch.

As has been the case throughout the ongoing FBI investigation, Trump and his legal team do not seem to be on the same page.

After Cobb’s announcement, Trump tweeted, “ I am more than happy to discuss anything that happened before June 16, 2015.”

Trump’s cutoff date coincides with the day he formally announced his presidential campaign at Trump Tower in New York City.

Photo | the hill.com

Satire Alert!!!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: collusion, collusiony, Donald Trump, FBI investigation, Robert Mueller, satire, special prosecutor, testify, Trump-Russia, Ty Cobb

Thank You, Mr. Trump, For Proving Junk Food Is Good Food

January 17, 2018 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

My entire life I’ve been told fast food is bad for you. Doctor after doctor has admonished me about the evils of Big Macs. But thanks to you, Mr. Trump, I now know this has all been just one big conspiracy concocted by the medical-industrial complex.

Everyone makes fun of your love of Happy Meals and Kentucky Fried Chicken. People say you are a heart attack in the making. They laugh at your girth. They criticize you for your lack of exercise.

But you, sir, have exposed the truth. All that talk about eating more fruits and vegetables is baloney. Getting 20-30 minutes of exercise each day is a bunch of hooey.

I applaud the courage of your White House doctor, Ronny Jackson, for exposing the big “ healthy eating” lie.

Far from being the out-of-shape individual your critics say you are, Dr. Jackson has made it clear you’re in “excellent health” and “ absolutely fit for duty.”

Dr. Jackson has confirmed what your New York physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein, said during your presidential run… that if you were to win the presidency, you would be the “healthiest individual ever elected.”

Did you know that at 6’3” and 239 pounds your height and weight is almost equal to that of New York Giants tight end Evan Engram (6’3” 240 lbs.)? Truly excellent!

You, sir, are an inspiration for all us junk food addicts.

Now I understand what gives you your vigor and stamina. It’s undoubtedly all that fried chicken, pizza, burgers and fries you eat on a regular basis.

I understand that part of your amazing health is due, as Dr, Jackson noted, to your “incredible genes” but I’ll follow your diet.

Not only will I keep emulating your eating habits but I am giving up my health insurance, Why do I need to pay outrageous premiums to see doctors who lie to me about what constitutes a good diet?

Thank you, Mr. Trump, for shattering another “fake news” myth about the dangers of fast food.

Junk food is good food!

Photo | cnn.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: big macs, diet, Donald Trump, Dr. Harold Bornstein, Dr. Ronny Jackson, fast food, health, junk food, physical exam

Dan Rather: Trump’s “Sh*thole” Comment Could Be His Worst

January 11, 2018 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Just when you thought Donald Trump couldn’t sink any lower, he does.

We’ve heard the man say not all neo-Nazis are bad; that Haitians “all have AIDS” and that people from Africa would never “go back to their huts” once they have seen the U.S.

Insightful, and legendary, newsman Dan Rather took to Facebook today to blast Trump on his most recent racist statement. At a White House meeting on immigration, Trump asked, ““Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” Trump was referring to immigration from African, Central American and Caribbean countries.

Below is a reprint of Rather’s remarks:

Trump’s comments about immigrants from “shithole countries” is among the worst statements he has ever uttered. It might very well be the worst. 

To have this outrage come as we approach the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is to cast in sharp relief the moral gulf between America as envisioned by the civil rights activist and our current President. It was Dr. King who said “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” By all accounts, Mr. Trump does not now and has never believed in such an America. 

This is undeniably and clearly outright racist. It simply cannot be allowed to continue by anyone who cares about the future of this country.

This is sad. It is hurtful. It is dangerous. It is unpatriotic.

Each elected official, each American, has a choice: where do you stand? Some may say this helps the President with his base. What about how it debases the values of our nation? This rhetoric has to be damned at every turn, at every time.

That millions of hard working men, women, and children have lives that hang in the balance at the whims of this President only makes this moment all the more tragic.

Make no mistake; America is diminished today in the eyes of the world and in the eyes of history. It will be up to every decent person to make sure that this is not our destiny.

We undoubtedly have had prejudiced presidents in the past, but never one so openly … and shamefully … racist.

Photo | sfchronicle.com

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Africa, Dan Rather, Donald Trump, Haiti, immigration, racist, shithole

With Trump, Is It Demagoguery Or Just A Case Of Douchebaggery?

January 9, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

A war has been raging among political wonks ever since Donald Trump took the oath of office last January … is he a demagogue or a douchebag?

Demagoguery is defined as an appeal to people that plays on their emotions and prejudices rather than their rational side. It is a manipulative approach — often associated with dictators and sleazy politicians — that appeals to the worst nature of people. Demagoguery isn’t based on reason, issues, and doing the right thing; it’s based on stirring up fear and hatred to control people.

Douchebaggery is described as obnoxious or contemptible behavior. In many cases, it is blatant stupidity and arrogance all rolled into one. In other words, it is the classic definition of a putz.

Demagoguery calls for some level of intelligence to pull off… douchebaggery not so much.

Manipulating people through fear and prejudice requires planning and skill. To piss people off just requires you being an a-hole.

After the release of Michael Wolff’s tell-all book, Fire and Fury, which chronicles the dysfunction within the Trump White House, critics are leaning more towards the view that the man sitting in the Oval Office is just your basic moron. A man-child in control of nuclear weapons.

But why does it have to be a choice between demagoguery and douchebaggery? Are they necessarily mutually exclusive? Can’t both nouns be used for Trump?

This entire controversy is reminiscent of the long-running, and successful, Lite beer TV commercials of the 1970’s. You had a group of guys insisting that the beer’s best quality was that it “tastes great” while an equal group of beer drinkers thought it’s best feature was that it was “less filling.”

Of course, both camps were right.

So Donald Trump can be a demagogue and a douchebag at the same time.

Unfortunately for us, and the world, this is probably the worst combination for a leader. Manipulative and ruthless, as in Machiavellian … and “dumb as a brick”, as in how Michael Wolff describes Ivanka Trump in his controversial book.

Photo | vanityfare.com

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: combination, demagoguery, Donald Trump, douchebaggery, Fire and Fury, Lite beer commercials, Micael Wolff

Donald Trump Is, Like, Really Really Smart!

January 6, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

His alma mater must be so proud!

Donald Trump tweeted today: “Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.”

No doubt Trump’s “smartness” was shaped by the great college education he received at the University of Pennsylvania. In fact, Trump proudly tells people he graduated at the top of his class.

But with all the fine courses Donald Trump undoubtedly took at UPenn, English could not have been part of his curriculum.

When someone says they are “like” something, they are not actually that thing. They are merely imitating or mimicking that thing.

If Trump wanted to say he is a really smart person, he should have said, “I am a really smart person.” Throw in the modifier “like”, well, he’s actually saying he is not really a smart person.

But grammar aside, Donald Trump did go on to tweet he is a genius.

I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star…to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!

Yes, we have a genius in the White House … even though he may not be the best grammarian.

This is so refreshing after eight years of that dullard Obama!

Photo | madmagazine.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, genius, grammar, like, not really smart, really smart, University of Pennsylvania

Trump: ‘Fire and Fury’ is BS … As In Best Seller!

January 5, 2018 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

‘Fire and Fury‘, Michael Wolff’s tell-all book about the Trump White House went on sale today. And it appears people can’t get their hands on the thing fast enough.

The book already sits on top of Amazon’s list of bestsellers.

Previously set to go on sale Tuesday, January 9th, the release date was moved up to today due to the unprecedented interest in the book.

Ironically, the decision to release the book early came hours after a personal attorney for Trump sent a cease-and-desist letter to the publisher, Henry Holt & Co.,and Wolff demanding that the book not be released.

So much for that!

Yesterday, Michael Wolff publicly thanked Donald Trump for making his book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, a massive success.

Trump and his legal team’s amateurish maneuver to block the book’s release has not only spurred sales but has also proven Wolff’s main point that the Trump White House is filled with nothing but a bunch of rank incompetents.

If you are lucky enough to have gotten a copy, pleasant reading!

Photo | independent.co.uk

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Amazon, bestseller, Donald Trump, Fire and Fury, incompetents, Michael Wolff, release, white house

Michele … Don’t Ask God If You Should Run For Senate, Ask Nate Silver

January 4, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Former Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann, is contemplating running for Al Franken’s soon-to-be-vacated Senate seat in Minnesota.

Bachmann, who represented Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District for eight years, said in an interview on “The Jim Bakker Show” that people had urged her to run in 2018. She also said she is asking God if she should enter the race.

Bad idea, Michele. No, not entering the Senate race but asking God if you should run.

Let’s face it, God has a poor record of picking winners.

Do you remember all those presidential candidates in 2016 that stated God had asked them to run? Let me remind you.

You had Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum, of course. But you also had Scott Walker, Ben Carson and Rick Perry who admitted God wanted them to run. You even had Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, John Kasich and Rand Paul alluding to God in their campaign announcements.

It seems as if the only 2016 presidential candidate who did not claim God asked him to run was Donald Trump. OK, he did say the Bible is his favorite book!

The thing is this, Michele. Either God is a poor picker of winners or he has a wicked sense of humor. Whichever it is, don’t bother asking God for his blessing.

Ask Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight.com.

Nate is great at predicting political winners and losers because he uses math and statistics. Yes, he’s a lot more scientific than the Almighty.

Okay, okay, what about Mike Pence you ask. Didn’t he say running for vice president was all part of God’s plan?

Yes he did. Yes he did. But Pence was not talking about the same God as you are.

Mike Pence was not referring to the God that sits on his heavenly throne but the deity who sits on his golden toilet at 725 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY.

One last thing, Michele. Remember the last time God asked you to run for office? Because of his divine command, you ran for president in 2012. How did that work out?

Photo | politicususa.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Al Franken, Donald Trump, God, God's blessing, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, Nate Silver, Senate, senate race

So You Think 2017 Was Bad …

January 1, 2018 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

By almost any measure, 2017 was a bad year.

As a nation, we (with the help of a hostile foreign power) installed a wannabe dictator into the highest office in the land. A man-child with near total disregard for truth and the rule of law. A narcissist with no sense of shame or empathy. A U.S. president who believes the Constitution is merely a set of suggestions.

Two of our most basic and fundamental institutions, the press and judiciary, came under constant attack last year. No, not by some subversive domestic organization but by the president of the United States himself.

2017 saw an America divided, the likes of which not seen since the days of the Vietnam War.

The world became a more dangerous place in 2017.

Thanks to the deliberate abdication by Donald Trump and his regime, the United States is no longer seen as the leader of the free world. There is no longer that steady hand at the helm that other nations relied on. Deepening conflicts are sprouting up everywhere.

As U.N. Secretary General Antonio Guterres put it:

“When I took office a year ago, I appealed for 2017 to be a year for peace. Unfortunately, in fundamental ways, the world has gone in reverse. … Global anxieties over nuclear weapons are the highest since the Cold War, and climate change is moving faster than we are. Inequalities are growing, and we see horrific violations of human rights. Nationalism and xenophobia are on the rise.”

Yes, 2017 will be a year to remember… for all the wrong reasons.

Yet, as bad as this past year has been, what lies ahead in 2018 portends to be much worse.

I’m afraid we will look back, fondly, on 2017 as we now view the presidency of George W. Bush … a calamity and a failure, but nothing compared to that of Trump’s wretched rule in 2018.

2018 does hold out one glimmer of hope. No, it’s not the Mueller investigation. The odds of a Republican Congress expelling Trump are slim, no matter what wrongdoing the FBI special counsel may uncover.

This year’s mid-term elections hold the key. They need to be swept by Democrats who will have the power to restore sanity and the rule of law to a government now in distress.

Photo | aljazeera.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: 2017, 2018, Donald Trump, FBI, mid-term elections, Mueller, Republicans, rule of law, Secretary General Antonio Guterres, United States, worse

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