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Archives for August 2019

Trump Turns On Fox … Says National Enquirer Only Remaining “Non-Fake” News Source

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This morning, Donald Trump denounced his once favorite “news” outlet as being “hopeless and clueless.”

In a tweet announcing the breakup, Trump wrote, “We have to start looking for a new News Outlet. Fox isn’t working for us anymore!”

The news came as a complete surprise to Fox as it had no clue the relationship was on thin ice. It appears Trump has been secretly seeing other conservative news outlets behind its back.

Trump stated that about the only real news source left is the National Enquirer.

“With the National Enquirer,” said Trump, “I know Pecker always has my back.” That would be David Pecker, CEO of America Media, owner of the tabloid.

In an effort to change Trump’s mind, Fox is dispatching Sean Hannity to make nice with the moody president over a quiet, candlelit dinner.

Photo | foxnews.com

Warning – parts of this article may be fake news!

“This Thing (Presidency) Is Costing Me A Fortune” Says Trump

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Donald Trump wants the world to know he did not seek the presidency in order to become richer. In fact, “this thing” has cost him billions!

At a rally in Pennsylvania a few weeks ago, and again at this week’s G7 summit in France, Trump made the claim he has lost “3 to 5 billion” being president.

Chase Peterson-Withorn of Forbes writes:

“Trump is not losing $3 billion to $5 billion. His income isn’t anywhere near $3 billion. And his net worth has not dropped by $3 billion since he went into politics—let alone $5 billion, which is more than he’s ever been worth. Forbes pegged Trump’s fortune at $4.5 billion in 2015. Today we estimate it to be $3.1 billion, a drop of $1.4 billion.”

Forbes attributes the drop in Trump’s fortune mostly to market forces. “The presidency, we found, accounts for only about $200 million of the $1.4 billion drop in Trump’s net worth,” says Peterson-Withorn.

In a normal world, a person wanting others to believe he is taking that kind of financial hit would only have to show his tax returns to prove his point.

But, of course, that will never happen with 45. Instead we’ll all shrug our shoulders and chalk this up as just another one of Trump’s many whoppers.

Photo | deadline.com

 

 

Mop Up On Aisle Three … White House Cleans Up After Trump, Again

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Donald Trump messed up bigly the other day at the G7 summit currently being held in Biarritz, France. Asked by a reporter if he had any second thoughts about his trade war with China, Trump unexpectedly let down his guard.

Appearing to acknowledge his trade battle with China isn’t going well, a vulnerable Trump answered, “Yeah, sure. Why not … Might as well. I have second thoughts about everything.”

Donald Trump has seconds thoughts about everything? What have those nasty Europeans done to the man who never regrets, never apologizes, and never has second thoughts about anything?

Realizing that this gush of genuineness is anathema to the Trump brand and unbecoming of the Trump presidency, the new White House press secretary, Stephanie Grisham, was quickly pressed into clean up duty.

“The president was asked if he had ‘any second thought on escalating the trade war with China.’ His answer has been greatly misinterpreted. President Trump responded in the affirmative — because he regrets not raising the tariffs higher,” Grisham said in a statement.

Isn’t it funny … whenever a politician accidentally speaks the truth the immediate, knee-jerk response is that he or she either misspoke or the comments were taken out of context (misinterpreted)!

This latest faux pas by Trump in France is somewhat of a milestone. If I’m not mistaken, it is the first time during his presidency Trump has admitted to some level of regret over his actions.

Trump made his impromptu trade war remarks at a breakfast meeting of the G7 bigwigs.

My guess is that Trump, who is not a drinker, was the victim of someone (Macron) slipping a psychoactive drug (truth serum) into his Diet Coke.

This latest round of White House mop up duty was thrust into the lap of Ms. Grisham, who took over as White House press secretary from Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Since being elevated to her new position exactly two months ago, the former communications director for Melania Trump has held zero press briefings. It is good to see her actually do some work at the White House if only to help justify her government salary of nearly $200,000.

Get ready, Stephanie, mop up on aisle four is just around the corner.

Photo | newsweek.com

 

 

Trump Orders Americans To Stop Eating Chinese Food

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As part of his ever-escalating trade war with China, Donald Trump has ordered Americans to stop patronizing Chinese restaurants.

“If they think they can outsmart me, they better think again,” said the master negotiator. “I am hitting them where it hurts, in the stomach. This was always my nuclear option and I’m using it. No more family nights at the local Chinese restaurant … no more takeout.”

Following Trump’s latest directive, which he put out in a tweet, a few staff members gently tried to explain to Trump that the People’s Republic of China does not own any restaurants in the United States, let alone Chinese restaurants; that this boycotting of Chinese eateries will have no effect on our adversary.

“Maybe not,” said Trump, “but it will severely cut down on the food they export to our country. Where do you think all those Peking ducks come from? And those fortune cookies? And that special, secret sauce for General Tso’s chicken? … China.”

It remains to be seen if Americans will give up their love of Chinese food. Already several Jewish organizations, including the Jewish Federation of North America and the National Council of Jewish Woman, have come out strongly in opposition to the proposed ban.

Photo | news.yahoo.com

Donald Trump Is No Messiah … Just One Goddamn Mess

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Donald Trump is in the White House mainly because of overwhelming support from evangelical Christians who saw him as the second coming of Christ.

It now appears such adulation has gone to Trump’s head. In just one day, he labeled himself, “King of Israel,” “the second coming of God” and “the Chosen One.”

But, Mr. Trump, you are no messiah.

I like messiahs who don’t pay porn stars for sex

I like messiahs who don’t file for bankruptcy six times

I like messiahs who don’t separate families and cage children

I like messiahs who don’t take from the poor to give to the rich

I like messiahs who don’t shutdown governments

I like messiahs who don’t cheat at golf

I like messiahs who don’t get love letters from murderous dictators

I like messiahs who don’t think some neo-Nazis are very fine people

I like messiahs who aren’t insecure and arrogant

I like messiahs who care about the future of the planet

I like messiahs who aren’t racist

I like messiahs who can be empathetic

I like messiahs who believe in the rule of law

I like messiahs who contribute to the betterment of the world

I like messiahs who are smarter than a fifth grader

As Timothy L. O’Brien of Bloomberg News puts it,  “… when Trump gazes into the sky at the White House and says that he’s the chosen one, he’s not the type who thinks he can actually walk on water. He’s the type who’s hoping that droves of evangelical voters might keep falling for his shtick.”

Photo | spectator.co.uk

 

 

 

 

To Understand Why Trump Wants To Buy Greenland, Just Follow The Bouncing Ball

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

Golf ball, that is!

It is no secret Greenland’s glaciers are melting at an alarming rate due to climate change. And underneath all that ice? Future lush green fairways!

Donald Trump has let it be known he wants to buy the world’s largest island (well the U.S. would foot the bill).

Trump, ever the prescient real estate developer, sees a major opportunity to turn the world’s newest frontier into a premier resort destination.

“I really like what I’m seeing with Greenland,” said Trump. “You know they call it Greenland for a reason. Underneath all that snow is beautiful green grass, perfect for building an amazing golf course.”

People familiar with Trump’s thinking on Greenland say he wants to build a casino surrounded by a world-class golf links.

“I’m thinking all that snow and ice will melt in about ten years … just enough time to get plans going to turn all that beautiful land into one great tourist attraction.”

Unfortunately for Trump, Denmark, which owns the island, is not interested in selling. But Trump is not deterred.

“I will use my great negotiating skills to get them to sell it to us on the cheap,” said Trump. “You forget, negotiating great real estate deals is what I do best.”

People who have questioned why the Trump administration has so forcefully opposed any and all efforts to combat climate change my have finally gotten their answer.

To further prove that point, word has it that Trump is also interested in buying Iceland.

“It will take much longer for Iceland to thaw out,” said Trump. “Underneath all that ice, you know, is more ice.”

Photo | pbs.twimg.com

 

 

 

No Way To Sugarcoat This … The Man Occupying Our White House Is An Abject Moron

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Donald Trump may be a lot of things – a racist, a narcissist, a philanderer, a bad businessman – but at his core, he is a total dunderhead.

Our “so-called” president has no sense of time or place. If there’s an opportunity for him to act inappropriately, he’ll seize it with the gusto of a kid let loose in a candy store.

The latest example of how Trump is incapable of acting fittingly under the circumstances occurred just a few days ago in El Paso, Texas.

Instead of having the basic good sense of faking empathy, which the situation called for after 22 people were killed and many wounded by a shooter clearly influenced by Trump’s racist rhetoric, Trump turned the situation into one big photo op.

Rather than trying to console a grieving community, Trump added salt to the wound.

Incredibly, our “so-called” FLOTUS had the bad sense to post, on her Twitter account, the above photo.

This was part of the photo op strategy of Trump visiting patients at the University Medical Center of El Paso who were victims of the gun violence.

It wasn’t learned until sometime after Trump’s visit to the hospital that the victim in the photo, a baby boy who survived the massacre, was not even a patient when Trump showed his face.

The baby, a two-month-old whose parents were killed in the mass shooting shielding their son from the bullets, had been hospitalized and released prior to Thump’s visit. He had to be brought back to the medical center for Trump to pull off his photo op.

Now, anyone with half a brain would not be smiling in a photo with the newly orphaned boy. Nor would he be giving the thumbs up. But when you’re an idiot you just can’t act in any other way.

An interesting side note, the man to the left of Trump is the baby’s uncle, a lifelong Republican. He said he wanted to meet Trump to see if he had “maybe some kind of remorse for statements that he’s made,” presumably the comment about the immigrant “invasion” that the El Paso shooter echoed in his white supremacist manifesto.

Looking at the photo, it’s unlikely the man got the remorse he was looking for from a man with the IQ of a pet rock (my apologies to all the pet rocks out there).

Photo | FLOTUS/ Twitter

 

 

 

 

For Trump, And Republicans, Not All “Invasions” Are Of Equal Concern

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The word “invasion” has been much bandied about lately. For Trump and his allies, it refers to the hordes of brown-skinned people seeking to illegally enter our country. For our intelligence community, it’s about Russia’s attack on our country’s 2016 presidential election, and its continuing efforts to do so in 2020.

The thing about all this “invasion” talk is that one is 100% real; the other is 100% made up.

Russia did attack our country in order to help elect Trump. The crisis along our southern border is not one of forced entry but one of desperate people fleeing for their lives hoping to find asylum and safety in the U.S.

But even if you buy the Republican talking point that we have an “invasion” of dangerous people along our Mexican border, it seems not all “invasions” are created equally.

For Trump and his Republican lackeys, the two “invasions” are being treated entirely differently. For one, you do all you can to build a wall; for the other, you graciously open the front door.

There is no doubt Russia attempted, and succeeded I would say, to get Donald Trump elected president. But Republicans in Congress are just peachy keen with all that … so much so that they are, in effect, welcoming a repeat performance in 2020.

Mitch McConnell, aka “Moscow Mitch,” who, as leader of the Senate, has the power to do something about preventing a second assault on our elections, is refusing to even bring up bipartisan election security bills.

Heck, Donald Trump has had the chutzpah to publicly state he would welcome foreign interference in our next presidential election!

So where have Trump and his Republican handmaidens focused their “invasion” efforts? On the real or the fake?

Yep, they’ve been focused on building a costly, and useless, wall along our southern border; on throwing destitute asylum seekers into cages; on discouraging other migrants, desperate enough to make the 2000-mile journey from Central America to the U.S., by separating families at the border.

Yes we have an “invasion” problem in our country. But it’s not coming from our Mexican border. It’s coming 5000 miles away from the land of Putin.

Photo | salon.com

 

For Trump, “The Buck Never Stops Here”

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Donald Trump is the master of deflection. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he shifts blame to others. Instead of owning up to his mistakes, he attacks others for his own failures.

So when Trump finally addressed the two mass shootings over the weekend, did anyone think he would assign any responsibility to himself?

On cue, Trump blamed the massacres in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio, which left at least 31 killed and many injured, on mental illness, video games and the Internet … not on guns or himself.

Reading from a teleprompter, Trump called on the country to condemn racism and white supremacy, never acknowledging his own role in promoting those ideas.

The shooter in El Paso, inconveniently for Trump, left behind a manifesto parroting the Divider-in-Chief’s own racist rhetoric.

In the document, the gunman referred to Hispanics as “invaders” and used the phrase “send them back” ― reminiscent of the racist remarks put forth by Trump last month in his attacks against four congresswomen of color, one of whom was an asylum seeker from Somalia.

Democrats, along with many other people of good conscience, have long warned Trump’s stoking of racial division over the last few years would lead to these types of violent acts … many committed by white nationalists living on the edge. Yet when it has come to Republican censure, mostly silence.

Respected journalist, Tom Brokaw, recently said, Trump “lights the fuse everyday.”

Right now there are a couple of gun control bills, passed by the House, sitting on Mitch McConnell’s desk. Will “The Grim Reaper” reconvene the Senate to vote on those measures? Unlikely.

The latest mass shootings come only one week after the FBI warned of the growing domestic terrorist threat, fueled by white nationalism.

Unfortunately, the Trump-controlled Department of Justice will do little to seriously fight this domestic terrorism problem while we have a man in the White House whose political calculation is that ramping up racial division will somehow help him get reelected.

But at least Trump is right about one thing. He said, “Hate has no place in our country.”

Yes. And you, Mr. “so-called” President, along with your bully pulpit, have no place in our White House.

Photo | screenshot via whitehouse.gov

 

 

 

 

 

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