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You are here: Home / 2019 / Archives for October 2019

Archives for October 2019

Trump Threatens To Veto Any Articles Of Impeachment Approved By The House

October 31, 2019 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

It is becoming ever more clear the Democratic-controlled House of Representatives will vote out articles of impeachment against Donald Trump to send to the Senate for trial.

After today’s vote in the House formalizing the procedures of the impeachment inquiry, which passed mostly along party lines (232-196), Donald Trump tweeted the following:

Today the conflicted Democrat House voted against me 232-196. This pathetic display is an unconstitutional attack against your duly elected president that will amount to nothing. I will veto any articles of impeachment that come out of the House. And Little Nancy is too dumb to do the math. She does not have the two-thirds vote to override my veto

It appears White House staff members are too intimidated by their boss to explain to him how the Constitutional impeachment process works.

Photo | thenewyorker.com

Warning – this could be “fake” nooze

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: articles of impeachment, Donald Trump, House, impeachment, satire, veto, vote

Donald Trump Asks Interesting Question About Presidential Impeachment

October 29, 2019 By John DeProspo 9 Comments

Article courtesy of guest contributor, Alden Loveshade

Donald Trump asked on Twitter: “Are you allowed to impeach a president for gross incompetence?”

Thank you for asking, Mr. Trump.  I for one really appreciate that you are concerned about this issue. I must apologize, however, for not responding much sooner as you posted this way back on  June 4, 2014.

Fortunately, this is an excellent time for you and other Americans to see how this process works. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has initiated a formal impeachment inquiry against an American president.

But what is impeachment of the president? This is covered by Articles I and II of the U.S. Constitution. Article I states the House of Representatives can bring charges against a sitting president and the Senate has the sole power to try impeachments.

In practice, as this means overturning the “will of the people,” impeachment is reserved for very serious offenses such as Article II’s “treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors.” This could include something like betrayal of the oath of office, betrayal of national security, or betrayal of the integrity of national elections.

Of course it’s hard to imagine any American president betraying their oath of office, the national security, or the integrity of national elections. But it’s good to know you and I, and all Americans, can be protected from such a president!

Did you know two, or three, presidents (people disagree on this) were impeached before you posted your tweet? Andrew Johnson, who became president after Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, was the first.  The second who clearly was impeached was Bill Clinton. There’s some debate as to whether Richard Nixon was impeached as the process had begun but was not completed when he resigned. No U.S. president has been removed from office after impeachment–at the time of your tweet.

But this does not answer your question: can the president of the United States be impeached for gross incompetence?

The answer is “probably not.”

But I’m glad that you want to understand how American government works. Impeachment is specifically a trial for presidential crime(s) or misconduct, not ineptitude. That’s usually left for the voters to decide.

I appreciate that you, an American citizen, want to learn about how American laws and the Constitution work. While I understand your desire to see that a president who’s grossly incompetent is removed from office, the initiation of impeachment proceedings usually requires more than mere ineptness … perhaps something along the line of extorting a foreign government to dig up, or manufacture, dirt on your political rival for your personal, political benefit.

Photo | inquisitr.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Guest Posts Tagged With: Constitution, Donald Trump, gross incompetence, high crimes and misdemeanors, impeachment

Could Trump’s Health Hold The Key To Exit Strategy?

October 26, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Dana Milbank, in today’s Washington Post, writes about various impeachment defenses Donald Trump could employ. One of those dodges is for Trump to simply say, “You can’t impeach me – because I quit.”

The idea of Trump resigning makes a lot of sense. But Trump would never just cut and run. That could make him look like a loser. No, what Trump needs is a good excuse so that such an exit strategy will be viewed as him having no other choice.

Trump can’t do what many politicians do when facing difficult situations. He can’t leave office (or not seek reelection) because he wants to spend more time with his family!

No. The best exit strategy for Trump is to employ the services of a medical professional.

Hear me out. What if Trump says he is going to visit Dr. Harold Bornstein, his personal doctor for over 36 years, for a complete physical examination? What if the doctor “finds” Trump’s three years in office have taken a major toll on his health … that the anxiety caused by the mean-spirited Democrats and their fake impeachment has caused Trump some serious stress-related conditions? What if the good doctor strongly advices Trump to leave office for the sake of his physical and mental wellbeing?

Trump’s children would play a big role in this scenario. Acting the concerned offspring, they could implore their ailing dad to leave office for a more peaceful and tranquil life of full-time golf.

Trump’s base would be very understanding if Trump’s doctor advised him to give up the presidency for the sake of his now shaky health.

Dr. Bornstein would be the perfect doctor to document the serious physical deterioration that has befallen Trump since taking office.

If you remember, Bornstein famously wrote, “”If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency,”

Yes, he was a perfect physical specimen when elected but the Democrats and all the other “haters” have so beaten the poor man down that he now has no choice but to heed his doctor’s advice in order to save his life.

Seems too far-fetched? Works for me!

Photo | thedailybanter.com

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: doctor, Donald Trump, excuse, exit strategy, Harold Bornstein, health, impeachment, leave office, resignation

Trump Defends “Colorado Border Wall” Comment

October 24, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

In a tweet today, Donald Trump defended his claim the U.S. is building a wall along Colorado’s southern border:

I was perfectly correct in talking about building a wall in Colorado. What does Colorado border? Mexico! Yes some call it New Mexico … New Mexico, Old Mexico, what’s the difference?

Trump even presented a “map” to support his claim.

Photo | pbs.twing.com

Warning – this could be “fake” nooze!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: border, Colorado, Donald Trump, Mexico, New Mexico, satire, wall

Trump Threatens To Sue Founding Fathers

October 22, 2019 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Resorting to his most tried-and-true tactic, Donald Trump has threatened to sue the framers of the United States Constitution. Citing how unfair and restrictive the document is to his presidency, Trump is seriously looking into a “very big” lawsuit against the legends of American history.

“I’m going against the whole lot of them,” said an angry Trump. “Washington, Hamilton, Franklin, Adams, Jefferson Jay and Madison.”

According to sources, Trump is upset how those American patriots and visionaries have hamstrung his presidency at almost every turn with their “phony constitution.” Asked Trump, “What good is being president if I can’t do whatever I want to do?”

“The president’s first instinct on these types of things is very often: Sue, sue, sue, and then sue some more,” said a close confidant of the Suer-in-Chief.

Trump’s personal attorneys, Jay Sekulow and Rudy Giuliani, have not informed Trump that it is not possible to bring a lawsuit against people who have been dead for over 200 years.

“I learned long ago never to question the wisdom of perhaps the most brilliant president in American history,” said Giuliani with a straight face. “The man usually gets what he wants.”

While seemingly incredible, it is being reported that Trump has consulted with the former slave and famed American intellectual, Frederick Douglass, in his pursuit of legal action against the authors of the Constitution.

“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice,” said Trump.

Whether or not Trump actually follows through with his threat of legal action remains to be seen. If history is any guide, Trump’s threats to sue will amount to nothing more than a way to intimidate his enemies … dead or alive.

Photo | history.com

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Constitution, Donald Trump, Founding Fathers, lawsuit, satire, sue, suer-in-chief

How Is Trump Able To Sleep At Night … Seriously?

October 19, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

It has been reported that Donald Trump is a “short sleeper.” Last year, his personal physician at the time, Navy doctor Ronny Jackson, revealed Trump sleeps “four to five hours a night.”

What amazes me most about Trump’s minimal amount of shut-eye is that he’s able to get any sleep at all!

With all the havoc he has unleashed on the world … the needless human suffering and yes, even death, how does he get his brain to shut off at night so he can get his forty winks?

The thought came to mind after reading comments made by Capt. Alan Kennedy of the Colorado Army National Guard.

The man who served alongside Kurdish forces in Syria recently talked about the disastrous decision made by Trump concerning American forces in the region.

In a video by the New York Times, Kennedy blasted Trump’s decision to withdraw troops from northern Syria, which paved the way for a Turkish attack against the Kurds, who were allied with America in the fight against the Islamic State.

“Weeks ago, our commander in chief announced he was pulling our last troops out of the region. Ever since, I haven’t been able to sleep at night,” Kennedy said.

“Our complete withdrawal from Syria is unstrategic, immoral, and ultimately un-American,” he added.

Yet it appears that the mastermind behind the now unfolding humanitarian disaster in Syria still sleeps like a baby.

So how does he do it? How does Trump keep all those negative thoughts from bubbling to the fore when his head hits the pillow at night? The answer is as simple as it is obvious … he never has negative thoughts!

For a man who has no sense of compassion or empathy is it really such a big deal that some dark-skinned people are getting killed as a result of his decision in Syria? What is Syria anyway but a land of sand and fighting factions that have been going at it for centuries? I’m betting Trump would lump Syria along with all the other “sh*thole countries” he has talked about.

Some have said Trump does not a human bone in his body. But is Trump really human? In a perverse way, the man with the most inflated sense of self worth likely thinks he is the God many of his worshippers believe him to be.

Photo | reuters/bbc

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: able to sleep, allies, betrayal, death, disaster, Donald Trump, human suffering, Kurds, sleep, Syria, Trump is not human

Trump Accidentally Pardons Wrong Turkey

October 17, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

The presidential turkey pardon is a White House tradition dating back to 1963. While some historians have claimed it was President Lincoln’s 1863 clemency to a turkey, recorded in a 1865 dispatch by White House reporter, Noah Brooks, that originated the ceremony, most agree it was JFK who popularized the ritual as we know it today.

A White House source has revealed that when Donald Trump was reminded of this year’s turkey pardon, he mistakenly got on the phone with Turkey’s president, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, who took Trump’s message as a green light to invade Syria.

Upon learning of the error, White House aides brought the snafu to Trump’s attention, only to be rebuffed by the commander in chief.

“Turkey is a beautiful country and they have every right to exist and do whatever they want,” said a proud and defiant Trump.

When administration officials informed Erdoğan of the embarrassing mix-up, he replied, “Sorry, no backsies.”

Photo | nbcnews.com

Warning – this could be “fake” nooze

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, mix-up, pardon, presidential turkey pardon, satire, Syria, Turkey, turkey pardon

Trump Turns To Religion To Get Through Troubled Times

October 15, 2019 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

The man who was been described as the least religious person ever to occupy the White House is turning to God for solace during the most difficult stretch of his presidency.

Yes, this is the same man who spoke of “Two Corinthians.” He is the same person who, when asked if he’s ever asked God for forgivingness, answered, “I don’t think so.” He is the same individual who could not name one verse from his favorite book, the Bible.

Many are cynically claiming Trump’s turn to religion is just a ploy to shore up his evangelical base. But some White House aides are saying Trump has truly found faith. One aide has actually verified she heard Trump declare, “Jesus is my personal Lord and Savior.”

To prove Trump’s transformation is real, the aide said Trump recenlty contacted Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Archbishop at New York’s St. Patrick’s Cathedral, to schedule a confession (Yes, confession is a sacrament open to non-Catholics).

The Archbishop has confirmed he has blocked off next week to accommodate Trump’s confessional.

Photo | AP Photo/ Evan Vucci

Warning – this could be “fake” nooze!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Cardinal Timothy Dolan, confession, Donald Trump, faith, found faith, least religious, religion, satire

The Tweet That Will Be ‘Read Round The World’ … “I Hereby Resign”

October 13, 2019 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

It is becoming more and more apparent … Don the Con will soon have no choice but to fold his tent, pack his snake oil, and skip town. It may take a “Come to Jesus” moment as experienced by another president to face impeachment, Richard Nixon, but it is coming. And as was the case with Tricky Dick, before articles of impeachment are actually voted on, a group of august, elder party leaders will tell Trump his time is up.

It goes without saying that Trump’s farewell announcement will be made via his favorite communications device … his smartphone. It also stands to reason that Trump will do all he can to spin his resignation into a positive.

Trump’s tweet may go something like this:

I, Donald J. Trump, am hereby leaving office. Unlike what the haters want you to think, I AM NOT RESIGNING. No one is forcing me out, I’m leaving of my own free will. After Making America Great Again … accomplishing all the great things I said I would (the military, massive taxes, ISIS, crime, borders, Supreme Court, judges, Second Amendment, lowest unemployed, greatest stock market in the history of the world!) I feel it is time for me to turn over the reigns to my most able VP, Mike Pence. Look for my new cable network …TrumpTV …coming soon. USA! USA! USA!

As sure as Trump is the greatest con man of all time, once he gets the right deal that protects his ass and assets, he’s outta there!

Photo | phonearena.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: deal, Donald Trump, impeachment, resign, Richard Nixon, smartphone, tweet

“Daddy, Have We Hit Bottom Yet”

October 10, 2019 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

As any parent who has been on a long car trip with small children will tell you, kids can get very impatient. “Daddy, are we there yet?” is the dreaded refrain of every kid anxious to get to the promised destination.

With the current occupant of the White House, I want to know when are we going to hit bottom in this seemingly endless nightmare called the Trump presidency? It appears every time I’ve predicted we’ve reached rock bottom, Trump picks up his shovel and digs an even deeper hole.

Can you get any lower than the commander-in-chief of the United States armed forces giving the go ahead to another nation to attack one of our allies? In this case it’s the Kurds in Syria who fought alongside American troops to defeat ISIS forces in that war torn country. Heck they actually led the fight on ISIS strongholds across Syria, suffering over 10,000 casualties!

Of course, if you’ve been paying any attention to the actions of the loathsome maniac currently occupying the most powerful office on earth, the answer to my question is a resounding, “HELL YES!”

What’s to stop the clearly deranged Trump from ordering a nuclear strike against Iran?

A Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert, recently questioned Trump’s mental health after he claimed to have “great and unmatched wisdom” and threatened to destroy Turkey’s economy.

“Am I the only psychologist who finds this claim and this threat truly alarming? Wouldn’t these normally trigger a mental health hold? Right and Left must set aside politics and agree that there is a serious problem here,” Gilbert wrote on Twitter.

During one of the Democratic presidential debates, then candidate Jay Inslee called Donald Trump, “The biggest threat to the security of the United States …  No question about it.”

As we are now seeing with Trump’s green lighting of the Turks to invade Syrian territory currently held by our ally, the Kurds, Trump is the greatest threat to the security of the entire world.

It is good to see that even some of Trump’s staunchest acolytes are criticizing his “decision” on Syria. Yet they remain far removed from calling for Trump’s impeachment and ouster. I’m talking to you, Miss Lindsey.

So how low can Trump go before he hits bottom? It’s the same answer to your kids’ question about arriving at your destination …  “We’ll get there when we get there!”

Yes, Trump will eventually reach the absolute bottom, but don’t be surprised as to how much more damage to our country, and the world, we may have to endure.

Photo | jewel1067.com

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: ally, Donald Trump, hit bottom, Invasion, ISIS, Kurds, mental health, Syria, Turkey

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