Now that we have been relegated to the confines our homes because of the coronavirus outbreak, it’s as good a time as any to spend time thinking about the great mysteries of our time. Below is a list of the top 20 quandaries you should ponder during this time of forced solitude that will help keep you from developing cabin fever:
- Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
- How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
- Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
- Why is it so hard to remember how to spell ‘mnemonic’?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
- If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
- How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
- Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
- Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- Is there another word for thesaurus?
- Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
- How can a cemetery raise its burial cost and blame it on the cost of living?
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Is grass really greener on the other side?
- If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
- Why do so many working-class people keep voting against their own economic self-interest?
Seriously, pondering these difficult questions will help you pass the time and guard against your brain turning into mush.
Hey, without a sense of humor, we are lost!
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Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!
My pleasure!
Thanks for the laughs! Some of these I’ve heard which is fine (they’re still funny), but some were completely new to me.
No. 20 is one I’ve asked over and over again.
On the grass one, I live in the country. I remember one day one of my goats had its head stuck through the fence eating the neighbor’s grass. At the same time, and very near, one of the neighbor’s goats had it’s head stuck through the fence eating my grass. Unfortunately I didn’t have a camera handy.
I do have another question related to your post: How do cabins cause fever?
#20 is perhaps the hardest to figure out!
I asked my wife. She said it’s because their buttons are easily pushed.
This is fantastic! In this household, #15 is something I think about often. 🙂