Reprint from moronmajority.com
White House sources have revealed Trump is prepared to give his concession speech … soon.
Below is the leaked copy:
Four years ago, we won a huge victory against Crooked Hillary, with the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan. On my inauguration day, we witnessed something so beautiful … the largest presidential inauguration crowd in history.
And over the past four years we’ve gotten so much done … more than any other administration. So much winning! We won on the military, we won on taxes, we won on the economy, we won on unemployment, we won on trade deals, we won on deregulation, we won on religion, we won on the wall and we won against the China virus.
And now, after a rigged election, people say I should congratulate Sleepy Joe Biden and concede. But how do you concede when all the courts are saying the election was stolen from us through voter fraud? My attorney, Rudy Giuliani, a big baseball fan, keeps saying “it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.” That’s why we’re fighting so hard for democracy, the rule of law and our Constitution.
If you count only the legal votes, there is no doubt I won. Remember when the fake news media said Hillary got three million more votes than me? If you didn’t count the votes of all those illegal Mexican criminals and rapists in California, I got more votes. Now they say Sleepy Joe got six million more votes than me? More fraud, more fake news.
But even though this election was totally unfair, I have decided to leave the White House on January 20. 2021.
I am hereby announcing my candidacy for president in 2024. I will continue to hold many, many big beautiful rallies.
Our new slogan will be “Make America Great Again … All Over Again”
I am also using the vast powers given me by Article 2 of the Constitution to pardon myself, my friends and my family of any and all potential crimes, from the start of time to infinity.
So, to all patriotic Americans, stand back and stand by until I’m back in your House in four years.
Photo | politico.com
*moronmajority.com is a satirical site … seriously
I have one major problem with this satire. It’s the same problem I’ve had with every presidential satire over the past four years, including ones I wrote myself: it’s too close to reality.
I am so looking forward to having a president where the satires actually look crazier than the real thing.
I hear you.
I think you gave his speech word for word. That’s the scary part
He will never give a concession speech.