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Archives for July 2021

Our Interview With That “College Educated Wite Suburian Woman”

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After making a splash across social media, we at The Daily Nooze decided to interview the woman who so proudly displays her love for Donald Trump across the back of her Jag.

While she agreed to answer our questions, she declined an in-person interview as she really didn’t have the time, working three part-time jobs and all. She instead requested we email her our questions and she would incorporate her answers into a written response.

 Here is her reply:

Yes, I am college educated and I voted for Trump … twice. I am shore he won the last election and that Biden is an inposter president. I care so much about our country that I marched in a number of “Stop The Steel” rallies in my hometown.

I am the first person in my family to ern a college degree. I truly believe in the benefits of hire education.

I know that President Trump said he especially likes the poorly educated but I think education is the only way for someone from humble beginnings, like me, to get a head.

I grew up in a small farming town in Georgia and moved to the big city (population 1500) witch was 30 miles away when I turned 18.

I am a proud graduate of Tuberville State University in Alabama (Let’s Go Fighting Cicadas!) and hope President Trump is reinstituted next month just like Mr. Lindell said he would.

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance” – Derek Bok

Dr. Fauci Hits Dr. Paul With A Respectful “Va Fungool”

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He couldn’t take any more nonsense coming from the eye doctor at yesterday’s congressional hearing on the coronavirus pandemic. 

The man who has advised seven Presidents on HIV/AIDS and many other domestic and global health issues; the man who is universally recognized as a leading immunologist, esteemed clinician and dedicated administrator in his position as Chief of the Laboratory of Immunoregulation and as Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases basically told Rand Paul to go f*** himself.

 “Senator Paul, you do not know what you’re talking about, quite frankly. And I want to say that officially. You do not know what you are talking about” responded Fauci after the Kentucky ophthalmologist, turned U.S. Senator, accused Fauci of lying to Congress. 

Fauci continued, “If anybody is lying here, senator, it is you.”

Of course, Paul’s attack on the good doctor had nothing to do with facts and everything to do with playing to an audience on the right, where Fauci has been turned into a political punching bag by conservative media and subjected to “lock him up!” chants at Trump rallies.

The hapless Dr. Paul from Bowling Green, Kentucky, known for his anti-science stances, learned a lesson ‘bout a-messin with a feisty man … if you attack a kid from Brooklyn, New York, be prepared to have your arse handed to you.

Screenshot | abcnews.com

The GOP Has Irredeemably Gone To POT

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Funny, but there are still some pundits talking about the civil war within the Republican Party.

We read stories of how Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger (along with a few other so-called Republican “moderates”) are standing up for traditional conservative values against the Trump nihilists within their beloved party.

The truth is there is no longer a Republican Party. Whatever war there was is over. The GOP has become the POT (Party of Trump).

What’s that you say Mitt and Lisa … you are not members of the POT? You do not worship at the feet of the Orange Calf? You say now that Trump is no longer sitting in the White House his influence over your party will fade?

Please wake up and smell the insurrection. You cannot continue to call yourselves Republicans while remaining members of the POT.

You two sensible lawmakers need to immediately and dramatically renounce your party affiliation. 

No, you do not have to go full Arlen Specter, the longtime Republican who switched to the Democratic Party in 2009 after saying he increasingly found himself “at odds with the Republican philosophy.”

All you have to do is declare as independents and caucus with the Democrats.

Surely you see what’s at stake?  Our very democracy is being threatened by an avalanche of voter suppression laws coming out of Republican-controlled states. You have been shown by our right-wing Supreme Court that it will not save the day.

But you can!

Your “Republican” colleagues are interested in only one thing … power. I honestly do not believe that applies to you. Show your fellow Americans, and the world, what true patriots you are by helping to pass federal voter protection legislation!

You will forever be revered for your acts of decency and bravery.  You will have separated yourselves from those POT asskissers who are hellbent on putting an end to our 250-year experiment with democracy.

As any good attorney would caution you … time is of the essence.

Photo | foxnews.com

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