Archives for May 2023

reprint from moronmajority.com

In a shocking turn of events, Senator Chuck Grassley is calling for the retirement of his colleague, Senator Dianne Feinstein. The two senators, both aged 89, have been serving in the Senate for decades, but Grassley seems to think that Feinstein’s time has come to an end.

“It’s time for Dianne to retire,” Grassley reportedly said in a recent interview. “We’re both 89, but I’m three months younger. I think I’ve still got some good years left in me, but Dianne, well, let’s just say she’s not as spry as she used to be.”

Feinstein, the senior Senator from California has spent nearly three months away from the Capital, including a stint in the hospital before returning home to San Francisco to recover.

When asked why he is calling for the retirement of a person about the same age as himself, Grassley responded, “I am here. She is not. And heck, I did 50 pushups this morning before coming to work.”

The call for Feinstein’s retirement has generated a good amount of backlash, with some wondering if Grassley is playing with a full deck. But others have speculated the senior Senator from Iowa is jealous since Feinstein is currently the oldest sitting U.S. senator. They believe Grassley wants the title.

At this point, it does not appear Feinstein (or Grassley for that matter) will be leaving her job anytime soon. 

The answer, perhaps, as to why both senior senators continue to serve in the Senate can be found simply by looking at the portrait each has hanging in their offices… it’s of Strom Thurmond, the oldest senator to have served … at age 100 and 29 days!

Photo | washingtontimes/AP/Andrew Harnik

moronmajority.com is a satire political blog