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You are here: Home / 2024 / Archives for June 2024

Archives for June 2024

Please, Someone, For The Love Of God, Take Away Grandpa’s Car Keys

June 29, 2024 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

We know Poppy, you have always been a good driver, a safe driver. But now that you’ve reached your golden years, your reflexes aren’t what they used to be, your eyesight and hearing aren’t what they used to be. Driving now can be dangerous, not just for you but for other people on the road.

We care about you and want you to be safe, so please hand over the keys. You know we are more than happy to drive you anywhere you want to go so you’ll never be stuck in the house. So please, the keys. 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: car keys, election, Joe Biden, presidency, reelection, step down, too old

After Debate Debacle, Biden Fires White House Physician

June 28, 2024 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

Reprint from moronmajority.com

It didn’t take long. Following his feeble and weak debate performance, Joe Biden has ousted his personal White House physician.

“The performance-enhancing drugs didn’t work!” screamed an angry Biden.

Reached for comment, Dr. Kevin O’Connor took full responsibility for Biden’s unmedicated disaster. Instead of giving him an orange flavored THC gummy, he instead accidently gave Biden a Flintstones chewable vitamin.

There is now talk of offering the job of White House physician to Donald Trump’s former doctor, Ronny Jackson.

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: debate, Joe Biden, performance-enhancing drugs, satire

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