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Unable To Stop Bolton Book, Trump Threatens To Sue Anyone Who Buys It

June 20, 2020 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

He’s at it again.

Now that a judge has ruled John Bolton can publish his tell-all book, the man who elevated the filing of frivolous lawsuits into an art form is threatening to sue anyone who has the nerve to buy a copy of the juicy memoir.

Donald Trump has never been a man to take rejection lightly. Whenever he has found himself up against a wall, he threatens to take legal action.

Yes, Trump might be forced to file millions of lawsuits but that won’t stop the “king of litigation.”

Writing in today’s Washington Post, Dana Milbank gives a great summary of all the people or entities Trump has sued or threatened to sue:

“Since 2015, Trump, his business or the Republican Party have sued or threatened to sue MSNBC, NBC, the Associated Press, the Daily Beast, Univision, an anti-Trump T-shirt maker, authors Michael Wolff and David Cay Johnston, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R), former Ohio governor John Kasich (R), a Jeb Bush supporter, a super PAC, the Republican Party, sanctuary cities, former aide Steve Bannon, former Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid, the U.S. Golf Association, a 92-year-old widow in Scotland, the women who alleged he sexually assaulted them, the co-author of his own memoir, the Club for Growth, the Culinary Workers Union, the National Hispanic Media Coalition, the organizer of a “Dump Trump” campaign, the city of Minneapolis, and an artist who painted a nude of him.”

“Before that, he sued or threatened to sue the Los Angeles Times, USA Today, a Chicago Tribune architecture critic, Bill Maher, the now-deceased rapper Mac Miller, the Village Voice, ABC and the BBC, a random Twitter user, a woman critical of Trump University, a critic of his golf courses, a Miss USA contestant, Rosie O’Donnell, the Obama Justice Department, and the Onion.”

Milbank, surprisingly, failed to mention the time Trump threatened to sue Mother Teresa.

For Trump, the underlying motive for his litigation threats is intimidation. Trump believes the mere mention of the word “lawsuit,” and all the costs it entails, will stop people with perfectly winnable cases from taking him on.

As Milbank ends his piece, “If you can’t beat ‘em, sue ‘em.”

Photo | skynews.com

Caution – this could be “fake” nooze

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: book, Donald Trump, John Bolton, lawsuit, litigation, publication, satire, sue, tell-all book

Behind Closed Doors, Barr Reads Trump Four-Page Summary Of Bolton Book

June 18, 2020 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Donald Trump is furious.

It appears his efforts to stop John Bolton from publishing his tell-all book are a tad too little, too late. “The Room Where it Happened: A White House Memoir” is scheduled to be released next Tuesday, June 23rd, and explosive excerpts from the book have already been made available to the press. 

The New York Times and the Washington Post have both reviewed the book. The juicy memoir already tops Amazon’s bestseller list.

In an effort to allay his anger, Attorney General, William Barr, prepared a four-page summary of the nearly 500-page tome which he read to Trump in the privacy and security of the White House bunker.

As Donald Trump does not read books, Barr’s summary will be the closest he comes to knowing about the book’s contents. As such, Barr’s portrayal carries a lot of weight with the aliterate Trump.

White House sources have revealed that Barr’s summary appears to have appeased the infuriated Trump. They report Barr characterized Bolton’s book as just another “he said, she said piece of garbage” and that it “completely exonerates him.”  

Because the book is starting to alter even his bases’s perception of him, it is being reported that Trump might break form and actually listen to the book once it’s made available on audible.com.

Photo | foxnews.com

Caution – this could be “fake” news

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: "The Room Where It Happened:A White House Memoir", Donald Trump, four-page summary, John Bolton, memoir, William Barr

Staring At Hard Times, Tucker Carlson May Be Forced To Sell Bow Tie Collection

June 14, 2020 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Things have not been going well for Tucker Carlson lately. The star of Fox News’ Tucker Carlson Tonight is losing more advertisers by the day over his increasingly inflammatory rhetoric about Black Lives Matter protests.  Most recently, it was T-Mobile and Papa John’s Pizza that pulled the plug on his show.

The situation has gotten so bad that the Fox News celebrity is contemplating the unthinkable … selling his large collection of bow ties.

For many years, the bow tie had been Mr. Carlson’s signature look. He started wearing the cravat in 1984 when he was in tenth grade at St. George’s, a Rhode Island prep school. 

When he became co-host for CNN’S Crossfire in 2001, representing the political right, Mr. Carlson was seen nightly wearing his iconic neckwear.

Mr. Carlson eventually made his way to MSNBC in 2005, where the producers advertised his show by creating posters that read, “The Man. The Legend. The Bow Tie.”

But after moving over to Fox News in 2009, Mr. Carlson decided to ditch the bow tie in favor of the more traditional necktie. Many observers speculated that the preppy appearance engendered by wearing the bow tie made him look like one of those snooty elites he rails against each night on his show.

Mr. Carlson’s collection of 450 classic, many one-of-a-kind, bow ties has been estimated to be worth $1.5 million by Christies auction house.

Photo | daily-choices.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: advertisers, Black Lives Matter, bow ties, fox news, loss of advertisers, moron majority, satire, sell, Tucker Carlson, Tucker Carlson Tonight

Trump Tosses Up Wilted Word Salad Enough To Make Mama Grizzly Green With Envy

June 13, 2020 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Ugh?

Donald Trump, in a Fox News interview with Harris Faulkner, was asked what he thinks protesters across the country are demonstrating against following the Memorial Day death of George Floyd.

“So I’m curious, from you, what do you think the protesters — not the rioters and the looters, we’re intelligent enough to know the difference in our culture, right? — what do you think they [protesters] want?” Faulkner asked Trump. “What do you think they need, right now, from you?”

Here is Trump’s answer, verbatim:

“Protesters for different reasons. You’re protesting also because, you know, they just didn’t know. I’ve watch — I watched very closely. Why are you here? They really weren’t able to say, but they were there for a reason, perhaps.

“But a lot of them really were there because they’re following the crowd. A lot of them were there because what we witnessed was a terrible thing. What we saw was a terrible thing. And we’ve seen it over the years. We haven’t, you know, this was one horrible example, but you’ve seen other terrible examples. You know that better than anybody who would know it. And I know it. I’ve seen it, too. I’ve seen it before I was president. I’ve seen it. I think it’s a shame. I think it’s a disgrace. And it’s got to stop.

“At the same time, you also know that we have incredible people in law enforcement that we have to cherish them and take care of them. And we can’t let something like this, we have a bad apple go out and, you know, destroy the image of a whole of millions of people that take really good care of us. And then you have a movement where they say, let’s not have a police department. And you say, where are these people coming from?”

Way back on Feb., 22, 2016, before he was “elected” president, Jennifer Rubin wrote an article in the Washington Post titled, “Trump’s word salads conceal his ignorance.”

Rubin went on to say, “Donald Trump demonstrated how maddeningly incoherent and inconsistent he can be. Listening to him over and over again, however, one begins to suspect this is an act to avoid close scrutiny.”

I’m sure if Ms. Rubin were to write such a piece today, with the benefit of hindsight, the headline might read, “Trump’s word salads reveal his utter ignorance and mental instability.”

Who would have ever thought Mama Grizzly, Sarah Palin, queen of the word salads, would one day be supplanted by Donald Trump, king of the mumbo jumbo!

Photo | sites.psu.edu

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Donald Trump, Fox News interview, George Floyd, incoherent jumble, Jennifer Rubin, protesters, Sarah Palin, wilted word salad, word salad

Trump Demands Weather Service Retract Its Weekend Forecast

June 10, 2020 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Donald Trump has asked the National Weather Service to retract its weekend forecast calling for rain as it would interfere with his golf plans.

“I hate playing in the rain,” said Trump. “I’ll admit it, I’m not a mudder.”

Trump has a long history of attacking any news source that gives him bad news. Earlier today, his campaign demanded CNN apologize for reporting on a poll that shows Biden beating him badly.

The National Weather Service (NWS) is the official weather bureau of the United States, founded on February 9, 1870.

Sources at the bureau have refused comment.

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: CNN poll, Donald Trump, golf, National Weather Service, rain, satire

Sorry Susan, But You Couldn’t Have Been More Wrong

June 2, 2020 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Explaining why she voted to acquit Trump in his Senate impeachment trial, Maine Senator, Susan Collins, claimed on national TV, with a straight face, it was because the ordeal Trump had been put through made him see the error of his ways.

Speaking to Norah O’Donnell of CBS News, Collins said, “I believe that the president learned from this case. The president has been impeached. That’s a pretty big lesson.” She went on to add, with what anyone with just one functioning brain cell would have told you could never happen, “I believe that he will be more cautious in the future.”

There is no doubt Trump learned a big lesson from his impeachment trial. But not the one Collins had in mind. Donald Trump learned that he can pretty much get away anything, the rule of law and Constitution be damned. He also learned that he had Collins and the rest of the sycophantic Republicans in his back pocket… and they would stay there.

The fact that we, as a country, are in the sorry state we’re in is a direct result of Collins and the other Republican doormats failing to do their Constitutional duty of removing a corrupt and incompetent president from office. At a time when it was necessary to put country over party, Collins and her crew (except for Romney) failed miserably.

So, Susan, the state of chaos we find ourselves in is all on you and your absurd rationale for letting Trump off the hook. It’s also on the heads of every Senate Republican who also voted to acquit. 

As our country spirals out of control, with one crisis after another, we find ourselves with the worst, most incompetent, president imaginable; a leader incapable of preforming even basic presidential duties. We are stuck with a man who could care less about doing the right thing because he doesn’t know, nor has he ever known, what the right thing is… except for how it personally affected his interests. We have a president who has abdicated his oath of office. As country, we are flying solo.

Adam Schiff tried to warn you, Susan, and your fellow Republicans.

“We must say enough — enough! He has betrayed our national security, and he will do so again,” Schiff, told the Senate. “He has compromised our elections, and he will do so again. You will not change him. You cannot constrain him. He is who he is. Truth matters little to him. What’s right matters even less, and decency matters not at all.”

If there is any justice left in this world, you, Susan, and your fellow toadies will all be driven from office. Joe Biden will be our new president.

But, of course, only you and 22 of your colleagues are up for reelection in November.

I am sure the majority of Americans, not part of the Trump cult, would be happy with just enough Republican losses in November to give Democrats a majority in the Senate and relegate Moscow Mitch to nothing better than Minority Leader.

But in Trumpian time, five months seems like an eternity. Who knows what new horrors Trump will inflict on our great nation by then? Who knows what our country will even look like?

Photo |REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst/pinetreewatch.org

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Adam Schiff, Donald Trump, impeachment, incompetent president, lesson, Susan Collins, worst, wrong lesson

We Have Entered Another Dimension – One Of Sound, One Of Sight, One Of Complete Asininity

May 29, 2020 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Rod Serling was the master of the macabre and creator of the Twilight Zone. Even he would be shocked by the bizarre goings-on these days!

Photo | metv.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: covid-19, Donald Trump, pandemic, Rod Serling, Twilight Zone, World Health Organization

Memorial Day – Opening Up The Shallow End Of The Gene Pool

May 24, 2020 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Americans have finally gotten back their God-given freedom!  After months of being ordered to stay at home and to social distance, it’s time to partay!

Crowds all over the country are packing pools, parks and beaches for the big Memorial Day weekend. No masks, no distancing, no problem! The coronavirus has been defeated, right? And, anyway, wasn’t it all a hoax?  

Ignoring public safety guidelines or just misinterpreting the loosening of coronavirus restrictions, we are seeing videos and photos of people eating, drinking and swimming in close proximity. One photo shared by station KSDK in Missouri shows dozens of people crammed on an outdoor patio underneath a sign reading, “Please practice social distancing.”

Unfortunately for those who believe the war against covid-19 has been won (I wonder where they could have gotten such an idea?), some will contract the virus and a few may die. Unfortunately, some will unwittingly spread it to others who will get sick and die.

Many people witnessing this Memorial Day “reopening of America” are angrily shaking their heads in disgust. “Don’t they care about their fellow human beings?” they might be wondering.

The simple answer is “no.” We are perhaps as selfish an America as we’ve ever been. Thanks to the sociopath in the White House and his Republican enablers, we are a deeply divided country.

As Umair Haque writes in Eudaimonia and Co.:

When I look around the world today, it strikes me that we’re living in the age of the sociopath. I don’t just mean that in the technical psychological sense of the word — a certain head of state and his goons come to mind — but first, in a deeper, truer, broader sense. Sociopathic: hostile to the idea, the notion, the purpose of society. You don’t have to look much further than America — the world’s reigning champion of sociopathy — to see all this in action. 

What’s truly alarming is that in many of the states where restrictions have been lifted, and people are partying like it’s 1999, the number of coronavirus infections and deaths are still on the rise.

You do not have to be an epidemiologist to know these “congregating masses” will only help spread the virus and push back the day when we can actually get back to some semblance of normal.

You don’t have to be a scientist to know that there is no cure for human stupidity. Yet, for the good of mankind, at least the dim-witted have always had a knack of selecting themselves out of the gene pool. Maybe good old Charlie was on to something?

Photo | lasvegasnightclubs.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: coronavirus, divided country, Donald Trump, gene pool, Memorial Day, pools, reopening, shallow end, society, sociopath, stupid, weekend

Imagine … If You Can

May 20, 2020 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Call me crazy, but I detect a renewed sense of optimism in the air. While it’s way too early to break out the champagne, Donald Trump’s days in the White House seem to be numbered. Not only do most national polls have Biden ahead of Trump, but many polls have Biden beating Trump in important battleground states.

It certainly is a good time to at least start imagining what the country might look like on January 20, 2021.

We’ve had such presidents before. We can have one again.

Imagine the end of Trumpism, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man. 

 Yes, you may call me a dreamer, but I’m surely not the only one.

Photo | kutv.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: 2021, Donald Trump, election, imagine, January 20, Joe Biden, polls

Reporter At Long Island Rally Gets Berated By Pro-Trump Protesters For Covering “Fake News”

May 17, 2020 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

This satirical piece is based on a true story. Reprint from moronmajority.com

A Long Island, New York, TV reporter covering a Trump-supporting “reopen” rally in Commack was just trying to do his job. Then the angry protesters turned on him.

“Go home, you shouldn’t be here, you’re fake news” shouted one Trump supporter. Another gave the reporter “the finger” and told him, and his fake news, to go f**k himself.

“But I am here to cover your rally,” said the reporter to the man making the obscene gesture.

“No, you’re not, you’re here because you hate Trump,” said the protester.

“No sir, I’m here to make sure your voices are heard. I just want to get a few statements about your rally. That’s it,” said the reporter. “Would you like to tell me what you are protesting?”

“Nice try,” said the protester. “I’m not going to give you a statement that you can edit and make me look like a fool just to support your liberal agenda.”

“No, you have it wrong. We are broadcasting live so what you say is what people are hearing … right now,” said the reporter. “So, can you tell me about this demonstration?” 

“Look you know the purpose of this demonstration. It’s about my God-given freedom,” said the protester. “Why don’t you and the rest of the lamestream media report on something much more important…  like Obamagate?”

“OK, you would like to talk about Obamagate. What is it?” asked the reporter.

“It’s only the worst crime ever committed, that’s all. Obama needs to be locked up,” said the protester. 

“Sir, thank you, but I am not asking about your opinion of Obamagate.” said the reporter. “I just want to know what it is. What is the crime?”

“Look why don’t you just get out of here,” snapped the angry protester. “You know perfectly well what the crime is.”

“President Trump,” said the protester,” already answered that question, OK? He said the crime is …. well… Obamagate.”

Photo | Wally Skalij/latimes.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, fake news, Long Island rally, Obamagate, pro-Trump, protesters, reopen rally, satire

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