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What If Trump Had Not Accepted Biden’s Offer For An Early Debate?

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Many political analysts love to talk about the two pivotal moments in the 2024 presidential race… Joe Biden’s decision not to seek reelection and his endorsement of Kamala Harris to become the Democratic Party’s nominee.

But these two milestone developments would never have happened but for a third, and I believe, more consequential, moment. After many wondered if there would even be any presidential debates, the Biden campaign asked for two debates, one in June and one in September. 

The eventual June 27 debate date was highly unusual since presidential debates are typically held late in the election cycle, after the political parties have nominated their candidates.

Trump quickly agreed to the Biden proposed schedule.

Without the presidential debate on June 27, Joe Biden’s disastrous performance would never have taken place. He would have been the Democratic Party’s nominee, not Kamala Harris. The Democratic National convention most likely would not have been the raucous, joyful affair that it was. It’s safe to say Democrats would not be as invigorated and hopeful as they are now.

Now let’s think about this. Joe Biden is the Democratic nominee. A September debate takes place. Joe Biden gives the same deer-in-the-headlights performance that he gave in June.

The Democrats would be stuck with Biden just like the Republicans are stuck with Trump. If you’re a Democrat, just think back to that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that June 27 night. Someone, please get me the Pepto!

If Kamala Harris goes on to win in November, Trump’s decision to participate in the June debate might go down in history as the worst debate decision ever made.

One might ask, “Why would Trump agree to an early debate?” Afterall he was leading in the polls; Democrats were divided, disheartened with their candidate. Usually, it’s the trailing candidate who wants debates to somehow shake up the status quo. The leading candidate rarely wants to give his opponent an opportunity. There was really nothing to gain for Trump.

I think I can answer my own question in one word, “arrogance.” Trump thought he could expose Biden for what he is… a low-energy, old man. Trump would wipe the floor, on the national stage, with Sleepy Joe. 

Well, Trump got basically what he wanted, never thinking that such a desired outcome might drive Biden from the presidential race… and give us the more youthful, articulate, confident Kamala. 

Funny, the doddering old man in the race now is Trump, who still thinks he’s running against Joe!

Republicans Sound The Alarm: Harris Administration Could Threaten to Pass Laws Most Americans Actually Want

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Republican Party has entered full-blown panic mode amid growing fears that a Kamala Harris administration might attempt to pass legislation that aligns with the will of the majority of Americans.

“We’re facing an unprecedented threat,” said Senator Mitch McConnell, wiping sweat from his brow. “Imagine waking up one morning to find that the government has passed common-sense gun control measures that 80% of the country supports! It’s a nightmare scenario.”

Indeed, the thought of the U.S. Senate actually functioning as a body that reflects public opinion has sent shockwaves through conservative circles. Republican strategists warn that Harris, known for her disturbing habit of listening to experts and acknowledging facts, might push for policies that could actually improve the lives of everyday Americans.

“They’re talking about protecting a woman’s right to make decisions about her own body,” said Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, with a look of sheer horror. “Next thing you know, they’ll be trying to ensure that everyone has access to affordable healthcare. Where does it end?”

Worried that such popular measures might weaken their brand, the GOP has already begun preparing for the worst. Plans are reportedly in place to filibuster any legislation that smacks of progress or equity. “We’ve got to draw a line in the sand,” McConnell added. “If we don’t stand up now, the next thing you know, they’ll be enacting climate policies that could slow global warming. This could lead to a future where our grandchildren can still recognize the seasons. It’s terrifying.”

As the 2024 election looms, Republican leaders are urging their base to stay vigilant. “Remember, this is about stopping a radical, leftist, socialist agenda that includes the things most Americans say they want in poll after poll,” said Senator Ted Cruz. “We can’t let democracy get in the way of our vision for America.”

*moronmajority.com is a satirical blog

Some Republicans Worried Country Not Ready to Elect First Convicted Felon as President

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reprint from moronmajority.com

Just as many Democrats are worried the U.S. is not ready to elect its first woman chief executive, some Republicans are fretting over whether the country is prepared to elect its first convicted felon as president.

In a strange twist few saw coming, both parties are attempting a political first in presidential elections.

“It’s not that we’re anti-crime,” said one Republican senator, who chose to remain anonymous. “We just wonder if the country can handle a president who might need to attend parole meetings between Cabinet sessions.”

Some historical perspective, though, might ease their worries. Richard “I am not a crook” Nixon avoided prison by resigning, Warren G. Harding’s administration was a corruption carnival, and Andrew Jackson’s dueling escapades make modern scandals look quaint. As one Harvard political historian put it, “A felon might actually be a refreshing dose of honesty. At least with a conviction, we know what we’re getting.”

One Republican strategist even sees having a convicted felon as the party’s nominee an opportunity, not a problem. “Americans love firsts … the first man on the moon, the first man to fly across the Atlantic, the first McDonalds hamburger. This kinda thing just taps into America’s can-do spirit!”

Public opinion seems divided. In a recent poll, 40% of respondents said they would consider voting for a convicted felon if they aligned with their political beliefs; 40% said it was a step too far, while 20% had no opinion. “I just don’t know,” said one undecided voter. “On one hand, it’s kind of exciting. On the other, do we really want to explain to our kids why the president has to wear an ankle monitor?”

So, will it be a woman who shatters that proverbial “glass ceiling” or a convicted felon? My money is on the felon as some have been known to carry a shiv in their shoe.

Photo | zazzle/ North Star shop

*moronmajority.com is a satirical site

The GOP Is Stuck With Two Losers

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The Republican Party wrapped up its national convention on a high note. But just a few days later, it looks like Republicans shot themselves in the foot … twice. With Donald Trump and J.D. Vance leading the charge, the party’s chances are looking shakier by the day. And just when they thought they had everything figured out, Joe Biden pulls a fast one by bowing out, leaving Kamala Harris as the Democrats’ surprise nominee. Talk about a Shakespearean plot twist!

Bringing Trump back into the spotlight is like inviting a bull into a china shop and hoping for a happy ending. Sure, he’s got his die-hard fans, but that won’t be enough to get him back into office. That little kerfuffle otherwise known as the Capitol riot isn’t exactly the kind of highlight reel you want when courting moderate voters. And those indictments and convictions!

Then there’s J.D. Vance, the GOP’s great populist hope. But here’s the kicker: Vance is as green as they come, with a political résumé that’s thinner than a paper napkin. His appeal to the Trump base is clear, but can he actually run a national campaign? Can he bring in new voters to the cause? Those are the big questions, and betting on an untested rookie shows just how short-sighted the Republicans can be.

By going with Trump and Vance, it looks like the Republicans are now stuck with two losers.

Incredibly, the Republicans seem to have been blindsided by Biden’s exit and Harris’s rise. Now who would have thunk it? Well, anyone with half a brain! At least you plan for such a possibility.

Kamala Harris, with her broad appeal and seasoned political chops, has rallied the Democrats in a way the GOP didn’t see coming. She’s energizing key voter groups that the Republicans need to win. By ignoring the possibility of a Harris candidacy, the GOP is now scrambling like a chicken with its head chopped off!

In the end, the Republicans have set themselves up for a tough ride. They’re sticking with Trump’s divisive charm and rolling the dice on Vance’s rookie status, all while being caught off guard by Kamala Harris. It looks like the GOP’s arrogance, and incompetence, are the best things Democrats have going for them.

Please, Someone, For The Love Of God, Take Away Grandpa’s Car Keys

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We know Poppy, you have always been a good driver, a safe driver. But now that you’ve reached your golden years, your reflexes aren’t what they used to be, your eyesight and hearing aren’t what they used to be. Driving now can be dangerous, not just for you but for other people on the road.

We care about you and want you to be safe, so please hand over the keys. You know we are more than happy to drive you anywhere you want to go so you’ll never be stuck in the house. So please, the keys. 

After Debate Debacle, Biden Fires White House Physician

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

It didn’t take long. Following his feeble and weak debate performance, Joe Biden has ousted his personal White House physician.

“The performance-enhancing drugs didn’t work!” screamed an angry Biden.

Reached for comment, Dr. Kevin O’Connor took full responsibility for Biden’s unmedicated disaster. Instead of giving him an orange flavored THC gummy, he instead accidently gave Biden a Flintstones chewable vitamin.

There is now talk of offering the job of White House physician to Donald Trump’s former doctor, Ronny Jackson.

Will Nikki Haley Endorse Trump?

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If I read one more headline about Nikki Haley exiting the Republican presidential race without endorsing Donald Trump I am going to barf. We all know how this is going to end. Like the good mob boss that he is, Trump will invite Haley to his Mar-a-Lago lair and make her an offer she can’t refuse. It could be a cushy ambassadorship or a place in his Cabinet … or whatever the hell Lola wants.

A friend just texted me that she will never endorse Trump because he insulted her intelligence by calling her “Birdbrain.” I had to laugh!  Just look at some of the degrading names Trump has used on his fellow “Republicans” over the years. And yet, almost to a man (or woman), they all kneeled before the mighty Don to kiss his ring. Just take Kentucky Mitch, who Trump called an “Old Crow.” Today he came out to endorse Trump for president.  

Haley endorsing Trump is not a matter of “if” but “when.” Like all the other pathetic “Republicans,” it’s party over country for Nikki. It is personal ambition over the good of the nation. 

Nikki Haley is a seasoned politician with aspirations for higher office.  She’s a pragmatist who understands the importance of maintaining support within the Republican party, especially with the MAGA base. Not endorsing Trump would be political suicide.

Then there is the fear factor that goes along with not endorsing Trump (or, God forbid, endorsing Biden!).

How do you think the Trump cultists would deal with that! Not a pretty scenario.

I’m expecting Nikki to fully endorse Trump for president … this weekend!

Is Mike Pence Delusional?

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There are many things in the universe I don’t understand, and for me, Mike Pence’s presidential hopes are right up there with quantum physics and the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle.

I mean, this is the same Mike Pence who came within a hair’s breadth of being hanged by the MAGA mob on January 6th.  This is the same guy many Republicans think is a traitor for refusing to overturn the 2020 election results.

Now, look, I’m not one to judge a person’s ambitions, but Pence’s presidential aspirations are about as plausible as finding Bigfoot riding a unicorn. It’s almost as if he’s living in an alternate universe where the events of the past few years never happened.

But let’s give Pence the benefit of the doubt and try to understand why he thinks Republicans will rally behind him. Maybe it’s his charisma that captivated the nation during his time as vice president. Oh wait, I forgot. Pence’s charisma level hovers somewhere between a beige suit and a cardboard cutout of Mitt Romney.

Or perhaps it’s his exceptional track record as a political leader that sets him apart? Just think of all the incredible accomplishments Pence brought us as Trump’s number-two  man? OK, I’m waiting …. The truth is he was a total non-factor unless you consider kissing his boss’s ass for four years a great achievement!

I’m of the opinion Pence is running for president simply because God told him to (fact is, he has actually admitted to such). And being the good Christian that he is, the man is just going along with God’s plan …  you know, carrying out His will. He probably believes God spared him from the gallows on January 6 because he has a higher calling for him… 47th President of the United States!

Unfortunately, the few sane people around Pence are much too kind to let the pious Republican know that when it comes to being his party’s nominee for president, he doesn’t have a prayer.

Photo | hips.hearstapps.com

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