John DeProspo

“Lawyering Up” The New Imperative For Trump Regime

June 21, 2017 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Attorney General Jeff Sessions, the top law enforcement officer in the country, has just hired a personal lawyer.

Sessions now joins a long list of officials in the Trump administration to hire personal counsel over the Russia scandal that Donald Trump continues to call a “hoax”, a “witch hunt” and “fake news.”

To the casual observer, it seems strange that the president would himself hire multiple lawyers to privately represent him if there is no “there” there.

While this trend of “lawyering up” is sure to continue as the Mueller investigation into all things Trump-Russia heats up in the days ahead, here is a list of Trump officials that have made the decision to hire there own mouthpieces:

Vice President Mike Pence
Advisor Michael Flynn
Campaign manager Paul Manafort
Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen
Advisor Roger Stone
Advisor Carter Page
Advisor Michael Caputo
Son-in-law Jared Kushner
Daughter Ivanka Trump

It was only last month, while speaking in the East Room, Trump once again flatly denied any connection with the Russians during the 2016 presidential election.

“The entire thing has been a witch hunt,” Trump said. “There’s no collusion between, certainly, myself and my campaign — but I can only speak for myself — and the Russians — zero.”

Note the qualifier!

As more Trump administration officials realize it is in their best interest to hire a personal lawyer to represent them in the deepening and broadening investigation, they can take comfort in the fact that one of the best criminal lawyers in the country is still available for hire … Saul Goodman.

Photos | amc.com/Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Flounder’s Legacy … Laughter Is The Best Therapy

June 18, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

At a time when the news cycle is dominated by the continuing trainwreck otherwise known as the Trump presidency, it is with great sadness, but much deserved respect, that we carve a little space for the news of actor Stephen Furst’s passing.

The 63-year-old actor died on Friday from complications of diabetes.

Furst, of course, is best known for his career-defining role as Kent Dorfman in National Lampoon’s Animal House. The overweight “loser, ” and “real zero” was nicknamed “Flounder” by fellow Delta fraternity brother, John “Bluto” Blutarsky, played by John Belushi.

It seemed the lovable Flounder could do nothing right. When his brother Fred lent him his brand new Lincoln for the weekend, he was talked into letting a few of his older Delta House brothers use the car for a “road trip.” After the car is predictably wrecked, Delta’s loverboy and president, Eric “Otter” Stratton, played by Tim Matheson, tells Dorfman the cold honest truth. “You fu-ked up, you trusted us.”

It is at that point, when Flounder begins sobbing over what to tell Fred, that brother Bluto offers-up one of the most memorable lines in the entire movie. Shoving a six-pack into Flounder’s stomach, Bluto utters the immortal words: “My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”

Perhaps one of the more repeated lines from the film is how Faber College’s Dean Wormer referred to Dorfman after informing him of his failing grades.

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son,” said Wormer, who went on to inform Flounder and a few of his fluncking Delta brothers that if they didn’t leave campus “Monday morning,” the local draft board would be informed of their eligibility for military service. It was at that point Flounder threw up in front of Dean Wormer. No, as brother Donald “Boon” Schoenstein, played by Peter Reigert, reminded Dorfman … “you threw up on Dean Wormer.”

As Animal House aficionados know, neither Dorfman nor any of his screwball Delta brothers are expelled from Faber. We learn Flounder goes on to become a sensitivity trainer later in life.

In announcing his death, Furst’s family wrote:

To truly honor him, do not cry for the loss of Stephen Furst. But rather, enjoy memories of all the times he made you snicker, laugh, or even snort to your own embarrassment. He intensely believed that laugher is the best therapy, and he would want us to practice that now.

With all that is going on in our politics these days, laughter is needed more than ever.

R.I.P. Flounder.

Photos | ew.com; nydailynews.com

Melania and Donald … Under One Roof but Separate Bedrooms?

June 16, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Now that Melania Trump has finally moved from her gilded Fifth Avenue tower to live with her husband in Washington D.C., people are anxious to know her thoughts on living in the White House.

The First Lady was kind enough to grant The Daily Nooze an interview.

TDN: “First Lady Melania, thank you for granting us this exclusive interview. First question, how does it feel to be back with your husband?”

First Lady: “Oh, very tremendous. This house is amazing. So much history and character.”

TDN: “Do you have any plans for redecorating the master bedroom?”

First Lady: “Nyet … I mean, no. I will be sleeping in Lincoln Bedroom while Donald will sleep in master bedroom.”

TDN: “I must say many people will be surprised to hear this. It will further fuel gossip that you and the President are not getting along.”

First Lady: “Oh, no. That is fake news. I just have taste for things antique, that’s all. Ask any of my friends, they will tell you. I love old things. Just like my Donald. He turned a happy 71 yesterday.”

TDN: “But the fact is the two of you will be sleeping apart. People will talk.”

First Lady: “I do not care what people think or say. Donald and me are very fine. We lived apart the last five months and we both were very happy.”

TDN:” Besides the historical ambiance, why is the Lincoln bedroom so special to you?”

First Lady: “Oh, many reasons. But biggest is thrill of sleeping in the same bed as a great president. What a tremendous feeling! You know Mr. Lincoln he freed the slaves.”

At that point in the interview, the president’s chief of staff, Reince Priebus, stepped in, pulled the First Lady aside and ended the discussion.

First Lady, “I say something wrong, Reincy. No?”

Unfortunately, there was no time to ask First Lady Melania about her pet project: easing the suffering and heartache of high school valedictorians that are rejected by their first-choice Ivy League schools.

Photo | nytimes/Ken Cedeno/Corbis

Yes – this article might be fake … well, some parts!

Oh Lordy… Kamala Harris Gives Jefferson Beauregard Sessions The Vapors

June 14, 2017 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

At yesterday’s Senate Intelligence Committee hearing into the Trump/Russia soap opera, Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

But the Attorney General’s ”truth” came wrapped in a blanket of forgetfulness and a refusal to discuss any conversation he had with the president or members of his administration.

The man who is often compared to a Keebler elf because of his small stature and leprechaun-like appearance, answered more than 20 questions with some version of “I don’t recall,” “I don’t recollect,” or “I don’t remember.”

When he might have remembered something asked of him, he refused to answer because it involved discussions with the president. No, he was not invoking executive privilege (something only the president can do … and didn’t), he just didn’t want to respond.

California Sen. Kamala Harris was having none of it.

Harris, the feisty former San Francisco district attorney and California attorney general, demanded to know what policy Sessions was relying upon when he refused to discuss his conversations with Trump.

Sessions fumbled for an answer. The best he could come up with was there might be a written policy within his department but he wasn’t sure.

Harris’s questioning of Sessions turned into such a rapid-fire grilling that the baffled and befuddled attorney general became downright indignant. His southern honor was being challenged!

When Sessions answered he didn’t recall any conversations with Russian businessmen at the 2016 Republican convention, Harris interrupted the former Senator.

“Will you let me qualify it?” responded an agitated Sessions. “If I don’t qualify it, you’ll accuse me of lying. So I need to be correct as best I can. I’m not able to be rushed this fast. It makes me nervous.”

It was left to John McCain to come to the aid of his overmatched Republican colleague. He asked committee chairman, Richard Burr, to let the witness answer the question.

Looking at his angered face, one could almost tell what was going through Jefferson Beauregard Sessions’ mind … this woman, who has the effrontery of challenging me, a southern gentlemen, is not a belle but a … (another word beginning with the letter “b”).

Poor little man got his feelings hurt while the committee and the rest of America got stonewalled.

Photo | theblaze.com

Thanks To Trump, Kellyanne Now Most Popular Baby Girl Name

June 11, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Reprint from MoronMajority.com (warning this could be a fake news site)

The election of Donald J. Trump as our nation’s 45th president has not only had a profound effect on both our national and international politics, but it has also impacted what we call our children.

In the most recent survey of baby names conducted by Field and Stream, the top three boys and girls names are all Trump inspired.

The most popular baby girl name is now Kellyanne, in honor of Donald Trump’s former campaign manager and now presidential advisor, Kellyanne Conway. It seems American parents are impressed with Conway’s sticktoitiveness in defending the president at all costs no matter how ridiculous or absurd that endeavor may be.

Coming in second, as might be expected, is Ivanka. Trump’s daughter, and wife of Jared Kushner, is beloved by many new mothers for her poise and grace. Plus she scores points among sentimentalists for having converted to Judaism in order to marry the love of her life.

In third place for most popular baby girl names, for some inexplicable reason, is the name Eric. As you may know, Eric is the name of Donald Trump’s second eldest son.

On the boys’ side of the ledger, the new most popular baby boy name is Michael or Mike (Mick). This comes as no surprise as the name figures prominently in the Trump Administration. Mike is the name of Trump’s vice president, Mike Pence. It is also the name of three current or former cabinet members: Mike Flynn, Mike Pompeo and Mick Mulvaney.

Surprisingly, the second most popular name for baby boys is Reince, the first name of the former chairman of the Republican National Committee and Trump’s current chief of staff.

Even more interesting is that the number three name on the list of boy names is Priebus, Reince’s surname!

Of course the popularity of baby names is subject to popular whims and vagaries. Many are seeing the current popularity of Trump inspired names as an aberration … a flash in the pan. Most people who follow such trends predict we will soon be getting back to names like Emma, Olivia and Sophia, for girls, and names like Liam, Noah and Mason, for boys, once Trump steps down (impeached?) from office.

Photo | bizpacreview.com

Trump Organization To Start Low-Budget Hotel Chain … Really!

June 10, 2017 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Proving once again why satire is so difficult with Trump in the White House, the Trump Organization, a group synonymous with glitz and glamour, has announced it will be opening a chain of budget-friendly hotels under the name American Idea.

The brainchild is the work of the Trump boys, Eric and Don Jr. Apparently they got the inspiration for getting into the cheap-accommodations business while traveling though rural America during their father’s presidential campaign.

When Eric Danziger, chief executive of the company’s hotels division, heard the idea, he called it “brilliant.”

“The reality is we should have something in those kinds of locations,” said Danziger.

The company plans to open its first three American Idea hotels in deep-red Mississippi.

Following a tried and try business model, the Trump boys will get local real estate developments and investors to put up the money to build the hotels.

While rates for the new inexpensive Trump hotels are still unknown, the question is will they be significantly low enough to compete with true budget chains like Motel 6 or Days Inn?

Sensing their predicament, the astute Trump boys realized design would be an important feature in attracting rural folk to their new chain. They’ve stated their goal is to make the hotel experience seen more like home for what many are calling their redneck clientele.

Now the Trump Organization has offered a preview of what the hotel chain will look like. Many in the hotel business are calling the architectural design “a winner.”

In an effort to further stand out among a crowed field of cheap lodgings, the Trumps have announced the hotels will accept old Confederate money.

(AP Photo/John Locher)

OK – Some of this article may be fake!

Biggest Bombshell From Comey Hearing? McCain’s Deteriorating State Of Mind

June 8, 2017 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Today’s Senate Intelligence Committee hearing promised to be must-see TV. James Comey, the former FBI director, would testify, under oath, about his interactions with the president prior to being unceremoniously canned by Trump.

But with Comey releasing a written summary of his testimony one day prior to the Senate hearing, there was little mystery as to what Comey was going to say or his version of events. There was really nothing the public didn’t already know that came out of Comey’s mouth.

But when it was Arizona Sen. John McCain’s turn to question the former FBI chief, the words that can out of his mouth were downright startling … they didn’t make much sense.

Not only was Comey unsure what point McCain was trying to make with his line of questioning, but some members of the committee, on both sides of the aisle, could not hide the pained look on their faces as McCain spoke gibberish.

To the best of my knowledge, McCain was trying to ask Comey why he let Clinton off the hook following his investigation, but not Trump … oblivious to the fact there were two different inquiries. The 80-year-old senator even accused Comey of having a “double standard.”

For some reason McCain could not grasp the fact that the Clinton investigation into her use of a private email server had been completed before Comey gave her the all-clear while the Trump inquiry into possible complicity with Russian interference in the 2016 election was still on going.

Mercifully, the chairman of the committee, Richard Burr, cut off the senator before his allotted time had expired.

John McCain handily won his reelection bid over Democratic challenger Ann Kirkpatrick this past November.

Interestingly enough, McCain’s Republican primary opponent, Kelli Ward, tried using McCain’s advanced age against him, saying outright he was too old and mentally unfit for the job.

“I’m a physician. I see the physiological changes that happen in normal patients again and again and again over the last 20, 25 years, so I do know what happens to the body and the mind at the end of life,” said Ward.

It appears Ward was right. After today’s too-painful-to-watch performance, where he even confused Trump with Comey, it seems McCain does not have all his faculties.

Sad.

Photo | politico.com

Trump Poised For Easy Reelection Victory

June 3, 2017 By John DeProspo 8 Comments

Nov. 2, 2020 – With Election Day finally upon us, Donald J. Trump is projected to win his second term in office in tomorrow’s presidential voting. Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight gives the Republican a 75% chance of retaining the White House over his Democratic opponent, Michael Moore.

While Democrats are still hopeful for an upset, it is unlikely the liberal firebrand and documentary filmmaker will be successful in ousting the popular, but polarizing, president.

With the two congressional investigations into the Trump campaign’s collusion with Russia during the 2016 election still under way, and after Trump’s firing of Robert Mueller, in 2018, as special prosecutor for the FBI’s separate probe, many Democrats have simply lost heart.

While Mueller’s ouster caused an uproar among Democrats, their demand for Congress to renew the independent counsel statute that provides for the appointment of a special prosecutor, one who could not be fired by the president or the attorney general, fell on deaf ears. The Republican-controlled congress saw no need for the lapsed independent counsel law arguing the two congressional investigations, now entering their fourth year, where more than capable of resolving any “alleged improprieties.”

Adding to the Democrats’ woes was the House Intelligence Committee’s reopening of the Hillary Clinton Benghazi/Email investigation. This allowed Donald Trump to once again stir up Republican resentment of Democrats and to reprise his attacks on his former rival, along with the reflexive chants of “lock her up,” while on the campaign trail.

Democrats had hoped their continuing calls for Trump to release his tax returns would finally gain some political traction but the most recent polling shows a majority of Americans either do not care about the issue or believe the president’s promise to release his returns “once the IRS audit is completed.”

Perhaps all those liberals and progressives banking on a change of course in 2020 should have seen the writing on the wall after the Democrats’ drubbing in the 2018 midterm elections.

The much-anticipated tidal wave of Democratic voters never materialized. Hope of retaking both the Senate and the House of Representatives never came to fruition thanks partly to the Supreme Court’s 5-4 decision in 2018 allowing states to pass more stringent “voter ID laws” as long as state legislatures “vouched” they would not be discriminatory.

For Democrats it looks like it’s on to 2024 and finding a strong candidate to run against the likely Republican nominee, Mike Pence. There is early talk of Democrats going the route of Republicans in 2016 by nominating a celebrity. Dwayne “the rock” Johnson is a name much bandied about.

Photo | businessinsider.com

You like? Show your support

It’ Official … United States No Longer Leader Of The Free World

June 1, 2017 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

If it weren’t already obvious from his “America First” campaign slogan, or his recent performance on the world stage, Donald J. Trump has finally cemented the deal … the U.S. can no longer claim the mantle of leader of the free world.

Today, unbowed by science, some members of his own party, our European allies … and even the Pope, the United States officially withdrew from the Paris Agreement on climate change.

To Trump, it was a bad deal. He says he wants to “renegotiate” a better agreement for the U.S.

“If we can get a deal, that’s great. If not, that’s fine,” said Trump.

Of course our allies, France, Germany and Italy put out a statement reminding our master negotiator the Paris deal is “not renegotiable”.

With the United States pulling out of the international climate deal spearheaded by the Obama administration in 2015, we now join Nicaragua and Syria as the only countries in the world not participating in the accord. Oh, and by the way, Nicaragua had a good reason for not signing up … it was pushing for a more stringent agreement! And Syria? Well, it is in the middle of a civil war.

There was a time the world looked to the United States for leadership on climate change and almost everything else (strangely enough, that seems only a few days ago!) With Trump as our nation’s chief executive, that well-earned reputation is now a moot point.

By going rogue, it is possible the United States has done more harm to itself than to the climate.

China, no doubt, will now be the undisputed world leader in clean energy.

As much as Trump “digs” coal, sorry people of West Virginia, those mines are not reopening anytime soon.

Of course, the United States withdrawing from the accord does not, in and of itself, kill the deal completely. China, Canada, and the European Union have signaled they intend to move forward with the agreement even without the United States, but the U.S. exit just might encourage other, less-willing participants, like Russia, to follow the U.S. lead or significantly downgrade their commitments.

For those who traffic in Trump/Russia conspiracy theories, now that is something to think about! This seemingly irrational move may just make sense when viewed through the eyes of Putin.

Photo | montecarlotimes.com

For Dems, Who Will Be The Next Barack Obama?

May 31, 2017 By John DeProspo 9 Comments

In politics, it’s never too early to start thinking about the next election. Even though the last presidential contest ended just six months ago, Democrats are already looking around for their next savior.

Who will Democrats in 2020 put up against the disaster otherwise known as Donald Trump (assuming he makes it to the end of his term without being impeached or forced to resign)?

Without a clear frontrunner, the prospect of getting a Democrat back to the White House will no doubt attract an array of hopefuls … from senators and governors, to showbiz types and businessmen.

Here are some potential candidates to watch:

Elizabeth Warren – Some are calling her the leading contender for 2020. Her populist cred includes having created the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau from scratch. While she is feisty, a good speaker and is beloved by many Democrats, would Dems be spooked over picking another woman to head their ticket?
Cory Booker – Far from being the most liberal member of the Senate, the relatively young Booker (47) is media savvy and the darling of the Manhattan donor class. But is the country ready for it’s second African-American commander in chief?
Andrew Cuomo –The ambitious New York governor has put together an impressive list of accomplishments, including his recently passed universal college tuition program. But in a party where the left is on the rise, would Dems go for a man who has positioned himself as a centrist?
Al Franken – During Senate confirmation hearings for Trump’s cabinet picks, Franken has been a breath of fresh air and a beacon of common sense. Some say the ex-comedian’s devastating wit is the perfect foil for the likes of a Donald Trump. But would Dems seriously consider the former star of Saturday Night Live?
Kamala Harris – She’s African-American and female. To many Democrats, she’s a dream candidate. But the first black woman to serve as California Attorney General just got to the Senate. She may be interested in higher office but has she paid her dues yet?

Here are some other names being bandied about for 2020: Sen. Kristen Gillibrand; Gov. Deval Patrick; Sen. Amy Klobuchar; Sen. Tim Kaine; Sen. Chris Murphy; Gov. John Hickenlooper; Sen. Sherrod Brown. Believe it or not, some are even mentioning Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden … and wait, Hillary Clinton! For some real long shots, how about Oprah Winfrey, Michele Obama, billionaire Mark Cuban or Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson?

Many are calling Barack Obama a once in a lifetime figure. For Democrats eager to regain the reins of power, can lightning strike twice?

(AP Photo/Gabriel Bouys, Pool)