John DeProspo

Trump And SNL, Mutual Winners

November 8, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

People ask why did Donald Trump accept the invitation to host NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” especially after the network fired him as host of “The Apprentice” and dropped his beauty pageants due to derogatory comments made about Mexicans? And why would NBC still do business with the man who basically forced the RNC to cancel NBC’s Republican presidential debate set for early next year?

Of course, the answer to both questions is simple: ratings. NBC profits from the “huge” viewership that Trump brings to any TV appearance. Trump, on the other hand, gets to market his brand to a large national audience. It’s what’s generally known as a “win-win” situation.

I will admit I stayed up to watch the entire show. How else was I going to critique it?

I am old enough to remember when SNL was funny. Those were the days of Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray and Eddie Murphy, just to name a few SNL stars that went on to bigger and better things.

“Saturday Night Live” is no longer funny… unless stupid and crass humor is your cup of tea. Maybe that’s what today’s youngins want. Maybe I’m too old to know what’s cool (or should I say, rad or sick?)

Donald Trump was featured in only a few skits and his roles could best be described as “cameo.” About the only funny performance was that of Larry David impersonating Bernie Sanders being interviewed by Rachel Maddow.

Will Trump’s appearance help or hurt him in the polls? I tend to doubt Trump could care, one way or the other. It’s all about promoting his brand. And anyway, as has been proven, I doubt there is anything Trump can do to hurt his poll numbers.

Trump told Fox’s Bill O’Reilly he exercised editorial control over some of the skits on last night’s show. It seems he must have nixed the funny ones.

The one thing Trump was able to do by accepting SNL’s invitation to host the show is mobilize Latino voters to get out and vote against the man who so openly denigrates them.

Photo | NBC

Breaking News – According to NBC, with Donald Trump hosting, Saturday Night Live jumped to its biggest overnight rating since 2012. Entertainment Weekly.

Dr. Ben Carson – A Beautiful Mind?

November 7, 2015 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Why is it whenever I hear Dr. Ben Carson speak I think of that line from “Scarface?” You know, when Elvira Hancock (Michelle Pfeiffer) tells Tony Montana (Al Pacino), “Don’t get high on your own supply.”

As a physician, Dr. Carson has easy access to all types of medications. I’m not accusing him of sampling his own drugs, but you have to admit he does come off as someone who is medicated.

Words coming out of his mouth lately make no sense. He is offering word-salads that make Sarah Palin sound like a Rhodes Scholar.

Take for example this latest episode of reporters trying to ask Carson about his past:

“There is a desperation on behalf of some to try to find ways to tarnish me because they’ve been looking through everything, they have been talking to everybody I’ve ever known, everybody I’ve ever seen,” Carson told reporters at a media availability in Florida.

“‘There’s got to be a scandal. There’s got to be some nurse he’s had an affair with. There’s got to be something.’ They have gotten desperate,” Carson continued. “Next week, it will be my kindergarten teacher who said I peed in my pants. It’s ridiculous. But it’s OK because I totally expect it.”

This outburst was atypical for the otherwise cool and calm Dr. Carson. He truly seemed annoyed and agitated as never before. This was a striking departure from the laid-back personality he has displayed on the campaign trail.

There are a few explanations for Dr. Carson’s most recent behavior. It could be that the grind of the campaign trail is getting to him. He admitted, “A lot of times people say, ‘Why would someone who has had a wonderful career get involved in the dirty world of politics?’ I frequently ask myself that when I wake up in the morning. It is a dirty world.”

Another explanation could be that whether medication he takes to keep calm and mellow was wearing off.

Of course it could just be that the brilliant, 64-year-old brain surgeon, is simply losing his mind.

Photo | theguradian.com

Christie Banished To Kid’s Table

November 6, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

In a severe blow to his presidential bid, Gov. Chris Christie will not be one of the Republican presidential candidates taking part in next week’s debate hosted by Fox Financial Network. Christie failed to average 2.5% in the four most recent national polls used by the network to determine eligibility.

What a stunning reversal of fortune for the Republican once viewed in the same light as Hillary Clinton: a lock for their party’s presidential nomination. The New Jersey governor was arguable the most popular politician in the country not that long ago. Now he will be sitting at the kid’s table for the upcoming debate, along with Huckabee, Jindal, and Santorum.

Ironically, much of Christie’s fall can actually be traced to the liberal media. It was Rachel Maddow who picked up on a little known story about the closure of some lanes on the George Washington Bridge that eventually turned into a national scandal.

The closure of two of the three access lanes from Fort Lee to the Washington Bridge turned out to be political payback for the town’s Democrat mayor, Mark Sokolich, refusal to endorse Christie’s reelection bid for governor. Of course Christie, to this day, has denied involvement in the ordering of the lane closures and has basically thrown members of his staff under the bus.

But the damage was done. As more reporters picked up on the story, the American public learned what citizens of New Jersey knew all along: the man is a vindictive bully. Other New Jersey politicians started accusing Christie of misdeeds. The mayor of Hoboken, to name just one example, claimed that Christie’s office pressured her to approve a big development project represented by a Christie crony—or risk losing recovery aid for damage caused by Hurricane Sandy.

The “Bridgegate” scandal is ongoing. While one Christie associate, David Wildstein, pleaded guilty in May on two criminal counts, the federal trial of two other allies, Bridget Kelly and Bill Baroni, is still pending. Originally scheduled for this past July, and then September, the trial has now been delayed to April 2016.

What has been most amazing about Christie’s presidential run is that he chose to seek the Republican nomination while still not out of the woods on “Bridgegate.” More people could face charges connected to the notorious Fort Lee traffic jam, including Christie himself.

Unlike the access lanes to the bridge, this scandal is far from closed.

Photo | huffingtonpost.com

Fox Network Relents, Supplies Candidates With Debate Questions

November 5, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

After the kerfuffle over questions asked by the CNBC moderators at last week’s Republican presidential debate, the Fox Business Network, host of next week’s fourth debate, has made a dramatic concession to the candidates. Mostly at the urging of Sen. Ted Cruz, the debate will be moderated by Fox’s Sean Hannity and, most importantly, candidates will be supplied with debate questions in advance.

Here are some of the questions Hannity plans to ask the candidates:

Sen. Cruz: “Why do you think Democrats like to give away “free stuff?” Are they not just trying to buy votes?

Gov. Christie: “Do you think the bogus “Bridgegate scandal” was blown out of proportion by the liberal media?”

Gov. Bush: “ Why are so many Democrats criticizing your brother’s presidency? Don’t they realize he kept America safe?”

Gov. Kasich: “When you were quoted as having said some of your fellow Republicans in the presidential race were ‘just crazy,’ you were misquoted, weren’t you?

Ms. Fiorina: “ Your record as the successful CEO of Hewlett-Packard has been described by some business leaders as a disaster. This is just envy, isn’t it?”

Sen. Rubio: “ You’ve been attacked as someone who is unable to handle his own personal finances. Isn’t it true, despite your humble beginnings, you were able to fully pay off your student loans in a timely fashion?”

Gov. Huckabee: “Some people say you sell worthless products to a gullible Evangelical base. Don’t you think this is just part of the liberals’ war against religion?”

Dr. Carson: “You say you were asked to run for the presidency by God. Why do so many liberal-communist- atheists have a problem with that?

Sen. Paul: “Why does the liberal media say that you are prone to plagiarism? You write your own material and give credit where credit is due… isn’t that right?

Mr. Trump: “People say many of your buildings were built by immigrant labor. Isn’t it true you pay all your workers well and offer great benefits? And you do not do the actual hiring, isn’t that correct?

The Republican presidential candidates should be more than happy with the new Fox “debate” format.

Photo | telegragh.co.uk

New House Speaker Ryan… “This Job Stinks!”

November 3, 2015 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

After being stroked, coaxed and cajoled into accepting a job he didn’t want, the new Speaker of the House, Rep, Paul Ryan, is complaining the job “stinks” … literally!

It appears outgoing Speaker, John Boehner, was so addicted to his cigs he could not go outside his office for a smoke, as mandated by federal law. So he smoked up the office inherited by Ryan.

An avid runner and self-described health-nut, the new House Speaker says he cannot put up with the stench. Speaking to NBC’s Chuck Todd of “Meet The Press, “ Ryan said, “They have these ozone machines, apparently, that you can detoxify the environment [with], but I’m going to have to work on the carpeting in here. You know if you got to a hotel room or get a rental car that’s been smoked? That’s what this smells like.”

Upon further inspection of his new digs, Ryan noticed several whiskey stains on the drapes and carpeting. “Looks like I will have to put in for a complete remodel,” said Ryan. “You know cigarette smoke can permeate walls, light fixtures and furniture.”

“I’m sure the taxpayers won’t mind the expense,” Ryan said. “It will me part of a new beginning; a fresh start with a fresh coat of paint, if you will.”

Ryan has gone out of his way to say he will be a different kind of Speaker than Boehner. “I will be more open to the wishes of my caucus but I will not cater to the radical few,” said Ryan. To prove his point, the second thing Ryan did after complaining about the office smell was to announce he would not be working with the White House on immigration reform any time soon; well, at least while Barack Obama is still around.

“Look, I think it would be a ridiculous notion to try and work on an issue like this with a president we simply cannot trust on this issue,” Ryan said. “He tried to go it alone, circumventing the legislative process with his executive orders.”

A small group of House Democrats is floating a petition to have John Boehner personally pay for Ryan’s office renovation. “After all,” said a House member who chose to remain anonymous, “ he broke the law and caused the office to reek. Why should John Q. Public be left holding the bag?”

Considering all the perks the former Speaker will receive upon leaving office, paying for the mess he created would be a small price to pay for violating the “no-smoking” rule, passed in 2008, for all federal buildings.

It appears Ryan is on track to getting the foul smell out of his room. His challenge will be to do the same with the entire House.

Photo | alan.com

Top Ten Demands – GOP Presidential Campaigns

November 2, 2015 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

The dozen Republican presidential campaigns that met yesterday in Washington D.C. to discuss how the remaining debates should be handled have come up with a list of demands. Here are the “top ten,” as agreed on by the various campaign representatives:

No questions about which country a candidate would bomb next.
Debates should be taped, not live (for editing purposes and campaign approval).
Each debate winner should be allowed to skip the following debate.
Candidates should have the option to phone a friend, ask the audience or skip to the next question.
Each candidate gets two “potty” breaks.
There should be no questions on evolution, climate change, income inequality or who was the smartest “Brady Bunch” kid.
Candidates will be allowed to ask questions of the moderators.
Crib sheets will be permitted.
Candidates will be allowed to “take the fifth.”
Only one network, Fox News, will be allowed to moderate future debates.

Whether the TV networks will agree to all or any of the campaigns’ demands remains to be seen. As one media insider observed, “Without the ability to ask ‘gotcha’ questions, what fun would that be for the viewing public? Got to keep it unpredictable and lively if you want ratings!”

Image courtesy of Staurt Miles at Freedigitalphotos.net

Jeb, Please Go Do Those Other “Cool Things” You Spoke Of

November 1, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Jeb, oh Jeb! Why couldn’t you have listened to that sage Mama Bush when she gave you advice on running for the presidency: Don’t! You would have spared yourself so much embarrassment and humiliation. You could have spared the country from watching one of the worst political campaigns in recent memory.

With all that money, one would have thought you could put together a competent campaign staff. But you have lurched from one gaffe to another. Your brain trust just never could figure out how to handle the 800-pound gorilla in the room: the Bush name. (The GOP Battle Of The Brands)

Now you’ve been reduced to telling Iowa voters, ““I’m gonna get better. I oughta get better. I know I have to get better.” Really? And you follow up that bizarre statement with, “You know, poll numbers, they go up and they go down.” Seriously?

Telling voters, who have long written you off, you’re a “grinder” and that “I eat nails when I wake up,” is just laughable. But of course, neither you nor your out-of-touch campaign apparatus sees the joke.

For God’s sake, do yourself and the country a favor, pull the plug on this rotting corpse otherwise known as your presidential campaign. Yes, we know the GOP establishment hasn’t completely given up on you; that there is still some money in the bank. But be a man and do the right thing.

Even Captain Obvious is asking you, and all those around you, to see the writing on the wall.

Photo |marketmenot.com

GOP In Turmoil – Dissension Among The Cranks

October 31, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

All hell has broken loose between the Republican presidential campaigns and the Republican National Committee (RNC). A mutiny is afoot! It appears after this week’s presidential debate hosted by CNBC – a disorganized disaster widely panned by political observers – the candidates want to take control of the debate process going forward.

To a man (and woman), each candidate complained about the tough questions they were asked and the apparent bias of the CNBC moderators.

Sparked by Iowa front-runner Ben Carson and second-tier candidate, Bobby Jindal, a meeting will take place this Sunday in Washington D.C. among representatives of the various campaigns. Think “The Godfather” and the meeting of the “Five Families.” Most, if not all, campaigns will be represented at the meeting.

It appears there will be one notable player missing from the Sunday meeting, RNC chairman Reince Priebus. The campaign reps want to be left alone to plot how they will alter the party’s debate process without the entity responsible for scheduling and co-sponsoring each of the officially sanctioned debates!

So it will be the cranky children conducting their own meeting without any adult supervision.

Good luck with that!

While all the candidates may not like how some of the debates have been conducted so far, each campaign will come to the big meeting with it’s own set of wants and gripes. Some candidates have complained about unequal speaking time. Others have griped about how polling is used to determine who qualifies for the prime-time and undercard debates. Some have insisted on opening and closing statements.

You thought the last debate was a free-for-all?

There is one simple way to make the debates better and more meaningful. No, it is not to take Ted Cruz” suggestion of having the next debate moderated by Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. It is for the top-tier candidates to tell the wannabes within their ranks to exit stage door right, pronto … for the good of the party, of course. But that sensible idea might not go over well with New Jersey’s favorite bully, Gov. Chris Christie. “If some unlucky accident were to befall Gov. Christie,” said campaign manager Luca Brasi, ” I am going to blame some people at that meeting.”

Photo | nytimes.com

Facts? Lies? … No Problem With Republican Voters

October 30, 2015 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

I occasionally will watch Fox News. You know, to see how the Republican propaganda machine will spin the day’s news (OK, I like to gaze upon Fox’s foxy Megyn Kelly!).

Last night Megyn had a group of about 25-30 Republican voters she quizzed on their take of the third Republican presidential debate. The most interesting segment of her show came towards the end when she discussed a few of the “untruths” spouted by some of the candidates.

Marco Rubio was asked about his poor handling of his personal finances:

MODERATOR: Senator Rubio, you yourself have said that you’ve had issues. You have a lack of bookkeeping skills. You accidentally inter-mingled campaign money with your personal money. You faced foreclosure on a second home that you bought. And just last year, you liquidated a $68,000 retirement fund. That’s something that cost you thousands of dollars in taxes and penalties. In terms of all of that, it raises the question whether you have the maturity and wisdom to lead this $17 trillion economy. What do you say?

RUBIO: Well, you just – you just listed a litany of discredited attacks from Democrats and my political opponents, and I’m not gonna waste 60 seconds detailing them all.

Megyn told her panel, after some fact checking, it was determined that everything the moderator said about Rubio’s poor financial acumen was true.

So not only is Rubio a poor manager of his personal finances … he’s a bald-faced liar!

Megyn then asked her Republican panel members if any of this mattered to them. I believe two people raised their hands.

News outlets have a field day fact checking statements made by politicians after debates. It is very clear that facts, or lies, do not matter so much to your average Republican voter. How else could one explain the level of support for Donald Trump and Dr. Ben Carson (or the entire Republican field for that matter!).

Photo | salon.com

Donald Trump Defended By Fellow Republicans

October 29, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

It was just a matter of time. CNBC moderator John Harwood, at last night’s Republican presidential debate, asked Donald Trump the $64,000 question. “Mr. Trump,” asked the fearless journalist, “just what makes you think a clown like you should be running for president of the United States?”

The question stunned the Republican presidential front-runner but he soon gained his bearings. “John that is such a ridiculous question. I’m not going to answer it. It’s degrading, demeaning, insulting, biased,” said the billionaire candidate. “I mean, really? This is the first question the liberal media wants to ask me?”

Sensing an opportunity, Jeb Bush seemingly came to Trump’s defense. “John,” said Bush,” you know full well Donald meets all the qualifications required to run for president. Just where in the constitution does it say a buffoon can’t seek the presidency? You and your network should be ashamed of yourselves.”

It was at that point Texas Sen. Ted Cruz decided to join in on the media bashing. “How about talking about the substantive issues?” Cruz asked. “Nobody believes the moderator will vote in the Republican primary. It shouldn’t be about tearing into each other.”

Not to be outdone, Florida Sen. Marco Rubio launched his own assault on the “mainstream media.” Citing Hillary Clinton’s performance before the House Benghazi panel last week, Rubio said, “She has her super PAC helping her out,” referring to the media’s positive coverage of her performance.

Realizing he needed to start throwing his weight around, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie jumped on the bandwagon. Christie smartly seized his moment to express his disdain for the debate moderators when a question was asked about the legality of online fantasy football. ““We have ISIS and al Qaeda attacking us,” asked a combative Christie, “and we’re talking about fantasy football?”

With all the outrage expressed at the media by his fellow Republican candidates, Trump never did answer Harwood’s question.

Republican National Committee chairman, Reince Priebus, offered his own criticism following the debate. “The performance by the CNBC moderators was extremely disappointing and did a disservice to their network, our candidates, and voters.”

An anonymous source from within the RNC later revealed an embarrassing truth … it was Reince Priebus himself who cajoled Harwood to ask Trump the clown question. The Republican establishment can abide almost any “wacko bird” as their 2016 standard bearer … but not a clown.

Photo | epictimes.com