John DeProspo

Donald Trump Piñata Smash Hit In Mexico

July 7, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Not all Mexicans hate “The Donald.” Trump has faced a barrage of criticism after comments that Mexicans were bringing “drugs, crime and rapists” to the United States in a June 16 speech kicking off his 2016 presidential campaign.

Dalton Ramirez, an artist in Reynosa, Mexico, is all smiles. He has created a piñata that eerily resembles Mr. Trump. “It’s my biggest selling piñata, by far,” said Ramirez. “People just want to smash his face.”

“I just can’t stock enough of these piñatas,” said Ramirez. “I am forced to hire extra help.” In his kickoff speech, Trump did boast that, if elected, he would be the “greatest jobs president God ever created.” It appears Trump has already started delivering on that promise.

While many of the piñatas are filled with candy, some are stuffed with nothing but hot air. As Ramirez remarked, “There are some customers that just want to burn the thing.”

“In only a few days,” said Ramirez,” the Trump piñata has overtaken my previous best seller, Steve King.” Rep. King of Iowa famously asserted that children of some immigrants were being used as “drug mules.”

Oh those Republican job creators!

Photo | Elhorizonte

Does Hillary Pass The Smell Test?

July 6, 2015 By John DeProspo 9 Comments

Of course I will vote for her. That is, unless something truly cataclysmic occurs and she is denied the prize she has so long worked, and sacrificed, for. Bernie? I don’t think so. While I love the man and the message, I do not believe the country is ready to elect a self-described, true socialist.

There is something just not quite right about Hillary. It appears every move she makes is politically calculated. I seriously doubt there is a genuine bone in her body. Her vote to support the Iraq war? Pure political expediency. She had to show her toughness, right, if she ever expected to be Commander in Chief some day… and she does expect it!

From the “renting out” of the Lincoln bedroom to big campaign donors while in the White House, to $200k speeches to the likes of Goldman Sachs, the Clintons are unabashed political opportunists. To say the Clintons carry a huge amount of political baggage is beyond an understatement. Hey, Hillary alone carries enough streamer trunks to fill the hold of the Titanic.

Hillary Clinton and former president Bill Clinton have earned in excess of $25 million for delivering 104 speeches since the beginning of 2014. Since leaving the State Department, Hillary Clinton has made more than 90 speeches and notable appearances. Her gigs have included private equity firms, investment banks, nonprofit galas, trade association conventions, and many colleges and universities.

You may ask, “Is any person reading a fifteen minute prepared speech to a group of wealthy businessmen worth $200K?” Of course not! It’s a scam and we all know it. Let me tell you a little story I was told by my former father-in-law, a Brooklyn, New York personal injury lawyer. There was a group of Brooklyn trial lawyers who played a weekly game of poker with a few judges. As it turned out, the judges always won and the lawyers always lost. Unethical? Maybe, but very effective and lucrative for the trial lawyers.

Many of the political comments I read about Hillary go something like this, “While I will vote for Hillary, at the same time I will be holding nose!” It’s a shame that it may turn out that way. It certainly looks like a repeat of Bush vs Clinton.

In my seventh grade government class we were taught about the concept of voting for the “lesser of two evils.” Mr. Berger, here we go again!

In case some of you readers get the wrong idea, I would rather vote for a deck chair than vote for any Republican. Voting for Barack Obama – twice – was a thrill I hope to experience once again before my time is through, however.

Photo | educationviews.org

We Americans Just Love our Freedom!

July 4, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

On this Fourth of July, we Americans have so much to be thankful for. We have so many freedoms people in other parts of the world can only envy. We have freedom of speech; freedom of religion; freedom of the press; freedom of assembly; freedom to marry the one we love; freedom to buy and hoard arms. But, by far, the greatest freedom we Americans love is the freedom to be dumber than a sack of hammers.

To quote that great observer of the American landscape, Jimmy Kimmel, “Part of being American is not knowing anything.”

In a masterful display of proving his point, Kimmel, host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” sent out his crew to interview “the man in the street.” The premise of the skit, “Lie Witness News,” was that Governor Jerry Brown of California, in an attempt to cut down on fires, rescheduled the Fourth of July to February. Just check out the video.

Yessir, we Americans love our freedom to be what we want and who we want; to be as informed or misinformed as we want; to be as educated or as ignorant as we want.

Founding fathers George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Van Der Beek would certainly get a kick out of seeing what the great American experiment has evolved (devolved) into.

And just think, these people also have the freedom to vote!

You Know You’re A Moron If …

July 3, 2015 By John DeProspo 9 Comments

In 1911, two French psychologists, Alfred Binet and Theodore Simon, created the first modern intelligence test that measured intelligence quotient, “IQ.” The test classified individuals on a scale of intelligence from “moron” to “genius.”

Today, The American Psychiatric Association has developed a simpler test to determine whether one can be classified a “moron.” It is an easy 10 question, true or false, test.

OK, you know you’re not a genius. But could you be a moron? Just answer true or false on the following questions

You believe Fox News is really a news channel.
You believe the earth is only about 6,000 years old
You believe all politicians, mostly Republicans and Democrats, are all the same.
You believe the Confederate battle flag is just a benign symbol of southern heritage.
You believe Barack Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya.
You believe Jesus rode dinosaurs.
You believe Sarah Palin has an IQ greater than 75.
You believe the Iraq war was about weapons of mass destruction.
You believe the way to end gun violence is to arm every man, woman and child… and indoor pet.
You believe the theory of evolution is a liberal conspiracy.

If you answered “yes” to 8 questions, you are a true, bona fide “imbecile.” If you answered “yes” to 9 of the 10, your classification is one of “idiot.” If you answered “yes” to all 10 questions, congratulations, you are a pure “moron.”

The APA has proposed a simple, two-step solution to improving on such low levels of intelligence. Step one, remove your head from up your ass and smell the roses, not your own feces. Step two, turn off Fox News.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe – Albert Einstein

Marriage And The Bible – Not So Fast!

July 2, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Last night on MSNBC’s “All In With Chris Hayes,” Chris interviewed a woman who would rather quit her job as county clerk than issue marriage licenses to gays. Mississippi circuit clerk, Linda Barnette, said she is quitting her job of twenty-four years because she disagrees with the Supreme Court’s ruling legalizing same sex marriage. She is strongly against the “gay lifestyle” and believes in the Bible’s teaching that marriage is “only between one man and one woman.”

She, like many other evangelical Christians, is of course wrong on that point, but at least she is doing the honorable thing. The previous night Chris interviewed a county clerk from Kentucky who proudly declared he would rather go to jail than issue marriage licenses to gays. Chris, of course, asked him why he wouldn’t just quit. There was not coherent answer forthcoming, however.

Does the Bible really talk about marriage as the union of only one man and one woman? Not really.

A trio of Iowa-based religious scholars recently penned an op-ed in a local paper, reminding readers that despite popular opinion, the Bible does not simply define marriage as between one man and one woman.

“The debate about marriage equality often centers, however discretely, on an appeal to the Bible,” the authors wrote. “Unfortunately, such appeals often reflect a lack of biblical literacy on the part of those who use that complex collection of texts as an authority to enact modern social policy.”

The Bible’s definition of marriage can be confusing and contradictory, noted the scholars. A primary example of this is the religious book’s stance on polygamy, a practice that was embraced by prominent biblical figures Abraham and David.

The scholars concluded that those who argue the Bible speaks plainly on any issue, especially something as complicated as marriage … haven’t taken the time to read all of it.

As Juan Cole pointed out in his excellent essay, “as for getting married biblically, you can do that in all kinds of imaginative ways– take two wives and someone else’s sex slave as Abraham did, or 300 sex slaves as Solomon did (not to mention the 700 wives), or your brother’s widow in addition to your own wife.”

If one reads the Bible selectively, one can pretty much justify anything. Boy are politicians good at that!

“Telling It Like It Is” – The Story Behind The Slogan

July 1, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Only one day after announcing his run for the presidency, Chris Christie’s campaign slogan, “Telling It Like It Is,” has come under fire. “Yeah,” said one New Jerseyan, “ he tells it like it is until he doesn’t!” Many potential voters were still abuzz over the scathing Newark Star Ledger article written by Tom Moran, calling Christie a habitual liar. A slogan like “Telling It Like It Is” only highlights Christie’s “untruthiness.” It didn’t have to be this way. There were many other slogans Christie could have gone with that didn’t remind voters of his honesty, or lack thereof.

Here are some of the rejected campaign slogans:

Building a bridge to a brighter future!

Christie … No Lightweight!

My Way or no Highway

Don’t Mess With The Mass!

Let’s Get Rollin’

America Is Hungry For Christie!

Let’s Bridge The Gap!

A Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Christie For President … The Wait Is Over!

Chris … Your All-Round Nice Guy

Not Running To Lose!

Christie … He Measures up!

“We had a plethora of good slogans,” said a Christie campaign spokesman, “but ‘Telling It Like It Is’ we thought best fit Chris’ pugnacious style … that’s his brand, his calling card.” Rumor has it that, upon hearing of Christie’s slogan, Donald Trump berated his staff for not thinking of it first.

Chutzpah And The Republican Presidential Candidate

June 30, 2015 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Chris Christie has today announced his candidacy for president of the United States. He now joins a long list of failed political leaders and charlatans seeking to be the next leader of the free world. There is no other word that comes to mind for this group of wannabes other than “chutzpah;” the sheer, unadulterated kind. Let’s look at some of the contenders for the Republican nomination, starting with Christie.

Chris Christie – New Jersey governor with a current approval rating of 30% within his state; a governor who is still not in the clear over the “Bridgegate” scandal; a governor who reportedly has grossly abused his expense account; a governor who has allegedly used Hurricane Sandy relief money for political purposes; a governor who has purportedly misused millions in Port Authority funds for unrelated projects within his state; a governor who privatized his state’s public pension system at the expense of taxpayers and state workers; a governor who vetoed reforms to cleanup state government.

Carly Fiorina – The former CEO of Hewlett-Packard whose greatest accomplishment, becoming the first woman to run HP, turned out to be a total disaster; a CEO hated by her employees; a CEO responsible for huge stock losses at HP; a CEO many analysts labeled as one of the worst performing CEOs.

Bobby Jindal – Louisiana governor so disliked within this deep-red state that President Obama has a higher approval rating; a governor who destroyed his state with major tax cuts for the wealthy and budget cuts for vital programs; a governor who believes the United States is a Christian nation.

Ben Carson – “I don’t want to be president” but God told me to run.

Ted Cruz – Famous for being the main catalyst and cheerleader for the government shutdown in 2013.

Rick Perry – Former governor of Texas and presidential candidate in 2012 who famously forgot which three agencies of government he would eliminate if elected. “Oops!”

Donald Trump – What can be said or needs to be said? The P.T. Barnum of our times.

I am certain the list of failed leaders and buffoons running for the Republican presidential nomination will increase in time. The selection for Republicans will surely come down to which candidate is the least offensive. I’m not ruling out “The Donald” by any means!

Ben Carson – “God Made Me Do It!”

June 29, 2015 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Over forty years ago, the comedian Flip Wilson had a line he used whenever one of the many characters he portrayed did something wrong, “The devil made me do it!” Today we have some politicians running for the highest office in the land who have flipped Flip’s gag line and claim, “God made me do it!”

The latest politician to claim God directed him to run for office is the neurosurgeon-turned-presidential candidate, Ben Carson.

“I really don’t want to do this, to be honest with you,” Carson said recently to a town hall crowd of more than 100 Iowa voters. “I was looking forward to a relaxing retirement, you know, with a beautiful home in Florida by a golf course.”

But God apparently nixed those plans. In a long back-and-forth with God, Carson admitted, “I finally said, ‘Lord, I don’t want to do this, but if you’re going to open the doors, I will go through with it.’

“My wife was looking forward to it (retirement) more than I was. She thought maybe finally we could have some time,” Carson said. “I think the good Lord had a different plan.

While Ben Carson is not the first politician God directed to run for the presidency, a look at God’s recent won-loss record leaves much to be desired. God’s only recent home run was George W. Bush. The list of losing candidates has included: Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain and Rick Perry.

Dr. Carson may be a Biblical scholar, but he needs to consider the line from the book of Matthew, “Many are called, but few are chosen.”

My bet is Mr. and Mrs. Ben Carson will be moving into that lovely golf course home in Florida soon.

The Amazing Grace Of Barack Obama

June 29, 2015 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

The first time I heard Barack Obama speak was at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. The then junior U.S. Senator from Illinois was an unknown political voice to me. But as he delivered his eloquent keynote speech, I was moved in a profound way. I couldn’t help but think, “Who is this guy and why have I never heard of him?

Sitting there in front of my TV, watching this amazing speaker, I remember commenting to my friend there with me, “Man this guy is incredible! He should be the Democratic nominee for president!” My friend chuckled, “A black man as president? Keep dreaming. Not enough non-racist votes to elect such a guy.”

Well, only four short years later, the once seemingly impossible had become reality. I remember crying like a little child when Barack Hussein Obama raised his hand and was sworn in as our nation’s 44^th president. I foolishly thought this was going to be the beginning of a new era in the American experiment. A black man had been elevated to the most powerful office in the free world! Here was the transformational leader America so desperately needed. A man who personified hope and grace; a uniting force; a man who talked about transcending the nation’s political divide even in the face of the uncompromising extremism of the modern American right. Surely this was the beginning of something special.

I soon found out how naive my thoughts were. Before the blink of an eye, the conservative media in general, and Fox News in particular, expressed their dislike and disdain for our new young president. Rush Limbaugh famously proclaimed, “I hope he fails.” This was soon followed by Mitch McConnell’s incredible,” The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” What a noble legislative goal I remember thinking! There was no talk about what Americans really needed, things such as jobs, economic fairness, educational opportunity or the lifting up of the middle class.

That our president has been able to achieve anything of significance, with a Republican opposition committed to his failure from day one, has been nothing short of amazing. To have achieved the historic passage of the Affordable Care Act, when so many previous presidents had tried and failed, was, in the words of Joe Biden, “A big f___ing deal!” Then there was the lifting of the nation out of the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression; the ending of our combat mission in Iraq; the hunting down and killing of Osama Bin Laden. The list of achievements is a long one and should be viewed by all Americans with great pride. The simple truth is that Barack Hussein Obama has emerged as one of the most consequential and, yes, successful presidents in American history.

This, of course, did not stop former Vice President Dick Cheney from foolishly claiming Obama is ”the worst president we’ve ever had.” His successes have not stopped conservative talking-heads from trashing our president’s accomplishments, or attacking his competency and intelligence. In a surreal display of disrespect and base hatred, many conservatives seriously questioned Obama’s birthplace and religion! The constant drumbeat on conservative outlets, like Fox News, has been talk of the failed Obama presidency. And, unfortunately, many subscribers to such “outlets of misinformation” swallow what they are fed on a regular basis.

Only a man with a deep reservoir of inner strength and peace could have withstood the constant disrespect and disguised racial hatred. I remember some Republican pundit claiming that Obama “was not one of us.” I didn’t realize this at the time but that right-wing windbag was actually correct. Barrack Hussein Obama is not one of us. He is not human. No human could have shown such poise and grace in the face of constant, unrelenting venom. For my money, Barack Obama is the coolest president this country has ever had. I mean that in every sense of the word but mostly I’m referring to his Zen-like sense of calm. Maybe he was not born in the United States. Maybe he was dropped from outer space?

The second time I cried during an Obama speech was the other day when the President delivered the eulogy for the slain South Carolina politician, Clementa Pinckney. The President’s words, once again, brought tears to my eyes. When he broke into his rendition of “Amazing Grace,” the droplets turned into a stream. I have never been more proud to be an American nor more grateful to have such a man as my president.

Gay Marriage Is Here – Can The End Times Be Far Behind?

June 26, 2015 By John DeProspo 13 Comments

To the true believers, it’s a sign. The much-prophesied end of times are nigh. Time to “pack up the babies and grab the old ladies cause everyone goes, cause everyone knows.”

In a stunning 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court has come down in favor of gay marriage nationwide. The landmark victory for gay rights has struck down state prohibitions on same-sex marriage as violative of the Constitution.

“God will surely punish us,” was the refrain heard throughout religious communities. While some believers actually heralded the end of the world, others were not so ready to go. Many hedged their bets by rushing out to their nearest supermarket to stock up on food and water in the event it’s a long, drawn-out process.

“If the world is really coming to an end,” said Wilbur Scruggs,” I guess there ain’t much to do about it. I am just going to live every day as it’s my last. Heck, I am walking in to my boss’s office tomorrow and tell him to take his lousy job and shove it!”

Wilbur’s wife, Sally Mae, had a different take on what some Christians believe will be the second coming of Jesus. “I just thank god we won’t have to pay our mortgage anymore on this rundown piece of crap we call home.”

It was only a few years ago radio evangelist, Harold Camping, predicted that Jesus Christ would return to Earth on May 21, 2011. This was after he had predicted Judgment Day would occur on or about September December 6, 1994. It appears the great visionary may have be slightly off on his dates. Not by much, mind you. Unfortunately Camping died December 15, 2013, never to see his prophecy come true. Well, maybe.