“Oops! There it is” Rick Perry says he’s learned his lesson this time around. He is taking running for President more seriously and is better prepared.

A major part of the Perry makeover has been the $500 Jean Lafont glasses he has been wearing for the past year. Picked out by his wife, the dark professorial specs give Perry the visual gravitas that should counter the dumb cowboy image from the last go-round.

Perry’s chances for the 2012 presidential contest took a major hit when he couldn’t count up to three during one of the presidential debates. It was the infamous “oops” moment.

There is no doubt wearing glasses tends to make the wearer look smarter. Just look at sister Sarah. Many people believe that Sarah Pallin wearing Tina Fey glasses was a major reason for her political rise.

Besides the new nerdy look, Perry has also spent time on book learning. He has had tutors brushing him up on topics that are sure to be important in the next round of debates, such as the economy, foreign affairs and that whole Caitlyn Jenner thing.

When asked what made him think he had a shot at the Presidency this time around, Perry replied. “Have you seen the competition? Ted “Herman Munster” Cruz, Marco “Babaloo” Rubio, Lindsey “Miss Daisy” Graham; Dr. Ben “Casey” Carson; Rick “The Pope” Santorum… are you kidding me? Shoot, I got as good a shot as any of ‘em!”

With that brilliant piece of observation, perhaps the new and improved Perry can shed his dumb cowboy image after all!

Nebraska’s official state executioner does not know if he will have a job tomorrow. After the Nebraska State Legislature overrode Governor Pete Ricketts’ veto of a bill ending capital punishment within the state, the executioner doesn’t know if he will have a job or be applying for unemployment benefits.

The situation got complicated when Gov. Ricketts said the lawmakers’ repeal of the death penalty wouldn’t stop his administration from proceeding with the executions of 10 people currently on death row.

“The state just paid over $50,000 dollars for lethal drugs from India and we intend to use them, “ said Ricketts. “As a fiscally conservative Republican, it is my duty to see to it that the taxpayers’ money isn’t wasted. And the contact reads no refunds!” the governor went on to say.

But the Omaha World Herald newspaper cited FDA spokesman Jeff Ventura as saying it was illegal to import the lethal drugs from India. “The FDA will refuse their admission into the United States,” he was quoted as saying.

When questioned about the FDA’s position, Gov. Ricketts said, “The shipment may not be able to be imported through any U.S. port, but we have arranged for drone delivery. Of course this added to the cost.”

In a recent study, authored by Bruce Bartlett, a domestic policy advisor to Ronald Reagan and Treasury Department employee under George H. W. Bush, viewers of Fox News tended to be less informed about current events than people who watch mainstream news – – and even people who watch no news at all.

In other news, Captain Obvious, spokesman for Hotels.com, reported that when it rains, you tend to get wet.

“Republican voters get so much of their news from Fox, which cheerleads whatever their candidates are doing or saying, that they suffer from wishful thinking and fail to see that they may not be doing as well as they imagine, or that their ideas are not connecting outside the narrow party base,” Bartlett said.

“It appears that right-wing bias, including inaccurate reporting, became commonplace at Fox.” Bartlett observed.

The situation has gotten so bad, said Bartlett, “many conservatives now refuse to even listen to any news or opinion not vetted through Fox, and to believe whatever appears on it as the gospel truth.”

The really bad news (or good, depending you your perspective) for Fox News is that the average age of their viewers is 68. In Frank Rich’s New York Magazine article, ‘Stop Beating a Dead Fox’ he calls Fox News a politically conservative ‘retirement community’ that’s losing young viewers at a faster rate than it’s competitors.

What is particularly hard to understand about Fox News is how it can continue to call itself “news.” Owner Rupert Murdoch has acknowledged that his Fox News Channel is part of his company’s entertainment division. I imagine that is how the network is able to get away with being the propaganda wing of the Republican Party.

At the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting in 2013, a very rational-sounding Bobby Jindal scolded his Party’s faithful by stating they needed to stop being the party of “stupid.” He went on to demand that the GOP “stop insulting the intelligence of voters” — and display more intelligence itself. Unfortunately, that was said over one and one half years ago. Republicans have been known to have short memories.

In an ABC News interview last week in Des Moines, Iowa, the potential 2016 presidential candidate was asked whether the United States should have invaded Iraq, knowing now that Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction. “President Bush made absolutely the right decision. Let’s remember, the world is a better place without Saddam Hussein,” stated a confident Jindal.

I doubt anyone would disagree that Saddam Hussein was a murderous dictator who brutalized his own people and was guilty of war crimes. But is the world really a better place with what the overthrow of Saddam Hussein has brought us … an unstable Middle East; the Sunni-Shiite bloodletting that followed the invasion; the divisive politics of the Maliki government; the attacks on a Christian population that had once been a protected minority; the emergence of ISIS?

Many of the factions that are now fighting in the Middle East didn’t exist before the overthrow of Hussein. This is not to say the Saddam Hussein should have remained in power. But the security vacuum created by his removal lead to the presence of foreign fighters that led to Iraq becoming a breeding ground for jihadists and religious extremists.

Only someone stupid would say that the invasion of Iraq, with the benefit of hindsight, was a smart idea. The man is either pandering to the ignorant base of the GOP or he is not much of a brainiac Rhodes Scholar! I tend to go with the later.

In a recent interview with Fox’s Megyn Kelly, Jeb Bush was asked if he would have authorized the invasion of Iraq knowing what we know now, with the benefit of non-faulty intelligence. Bush’s answer was a surprising “yes.” How could the “smart” Bush say such a thing, people wondered?

Sensing the political damage, the Bush surrogates quickly hit the airwaves. GOP strategist Ana Navarro offered the often-used excuse when a politician says exactly what he thinks. Bush had simply “misheard” Kelly’s question, claimed Navarro. This excuse, of course, is but a variation of the more common, “I misspoke” pretense.

There is a simple test to determine if the potential 2016 presidential hopeful misheard the question. One just has to look at what actions preceded Bush’s giving such an confounding answer… after all 75% of the American public believes the invasion of Iraq was a mistake. When Jeb Bush rolled out his list of foreign policy advisors, 17 out of the 21 worked for his brother’s administration. The list included Paul Wolfowitz,, one of the top architects and cheerleader for the Iraq war!

So much for the “I am my own man” charade! About the only thing worse would have been for the younger Bush to have offered up Dick Cheney as his vice presidential pick! No, Jeb did not “mishear” or “misspeak.” He simply showed his cards. And from the negative responses he received, not only from Democrats but Republicans alike, it’s apparent he has not shown a winning hand.

In her NY Times op-ed piece today, Gail Collins called the junior Bush “awful.” And that was one of the nicer things said about Jeb since the Fox News debacle! The presumptive frontrunner is looking more and more like a gimpy old nag. With Bush 3’s stock taking such a big hit, the Republican Party needs to start beating the bushes to find another so-called “electable candidate,” other than Bush. Mama Bush had it right…“There are other people out there that are very qualified and we’ve had enough Bushes.” Amen.

In a series of stunning executive actions, President Obama has instructed Secretary of State John Kerry to send a communiqué to Mexico’s president, Enrique Pena Nieto, offering the State of Texas back to Mexico. What set Obama off was the latest dis to the Federal government by Texas Governor, Greg Abbott. Abbott ordered up the Texas State Guard to monitor U.S. military training exercises within his state. “We are not buying the training exercise pretext. The federal government is out to stage a military takeover of our great state,” declared Abbott.

Word of Obama’s latest executive action quickly made it’s way through Congress. Ted Cruz, U.S. Senator from Texas, and a potential 2016 presidential hopeful, was outraged. “The United States fought hard to steal Texas from Mexico and now we are giving it back?” Cruz went on to call Obama’s action another clear abuse of executive power.

Some other politicians raised the issue of the United States now only having 49 states. “Now what are we going to do with all those flags with 50 stars?” reasoned Texas U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert. U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer offered up the obvious solution. “We can make Israel our 50^th state!” Schumer added, “After all the money we’ve given the Israelis over the years, we own them.”

The idea of making Israel the new 50^th state did not sit well with the Congressional Latino Caucus. “If any country should be our next state it is Puerto Rico! It’s been waiting its turn for a long time now. Plus it has better beaches,” observed Congressman Jose E. Serrano.

Some liberal politicians thought the best solution would be to just let Texas secede from the union as it has been threatening to do since 1845. “Let’s finally call their bluff,” said Senator Bernie Sanders. “They’ve been sucking on the Federal teet too long!” he went on to say.

But before the idea of adding a new 50^th state to the union gained traction, Secretary of State Kerry, in late breaking news, informed President Obama he had heard back from Mexico’s president. “Sir,” said Kerry to the President. “I just got back this two word text from Pena Nieto.” The message read “No, gracias :)”

Recently, James Inhofe of Oklahoma, Chairman of the Senate Environment Committee, was once and for all able to dispel the myth of global warning with a simple flick of the wrist… a snowball! “I ask the chair, you know what this is? It’s a snowball, just from outside here. So it’s very, very cold out. Very unseasonal. Mr. President, catch this.” The snowball struck Republican Sen. Bill Cassidy of Louisiana, who was presiding over the Senate at the time, right in the kisser. Fortunately, the Senate nurse was nearby to supply some ice to the senator’s swollen lip.

After Senator’s Inhofe seemingly conclusive rebuke to all those climate-change fearmongers, a reporter caught up with Inhofe and asked, “But, Sir, scientists have just proclaimed 2014 as the hottest year on record?” Inhofe laughed and shook his head. “Scientists are like statistics. You can get them to say anything.” The reporter countered, “But, Sir, 97% of all climate scientists believe in global warming.” “You go ask those folks on the East Coast, especially in Boston, if they believe in global warming. Heck they were hit with a record amount of snow this year. I hear they’re still digging out! Look I’m no scientist, just Chairman of the Senate Environment Committee, but from what I see, it’s damn cold out!”

Rumors later spread across the floor of the Senate that Inhofe was going to bring his lucky four-leaf clover to his next senate hearing to prove once and for all leprechauns exist.