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Kim Jong-un – The Rodney Dangerfield of Despots

December 26, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, gets no respect.

Try as he might to make himself the most feared dictator in the world, he just gets nothing but insults and ridicule.

Donald Trump famously called Kim “Little Rocket Man” after his umpteenth ballistic missile test in November.

Last week, the UN Security Council unanimously voted to apply new, tougher sanctions against the rogue nation. Led by the U.S., the measures included reducing the import of refined petroleum products into North Korea by almost 90 percent.

Kim declared these latest sanctions an “act of war,” adding that the US and other nations which supported the strict measures will pay a heavy price.

Last September, Kim, referring to Trump, declared, “I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged US dotard with fire.”

But is anyone taking the man seriously? No, not with his long Trumpian history of idle threats.

During Trump’s 12-day tour of Asia, Kim called Trump an “old lunatic.”

Trump responded with a tweet:

Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me “old,” when I would NEVER call him “short and fat?” Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend – and maybe someday that will happen!

Interesting that Trump was offended by the word “old” but not lunatic. But I digress.

It appears the only way the North Korea dictator can gain the respect he craves is by actually starting a nuclear war!

Our narcissistic, bully of a commander in chief is just the guy to egg him on to such a disastrous decison.

Did you hear the joke about Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un walking into a party together? Trump asks the gathering to “say hello to my little friend,” in his best Tony Montana accent … of course.

Kim Jong-un gets no respect.

Photos | crainsnewyork.com; thesun.co.uk

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: despot, dictator, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un, north korea, nuclear war, respect, Rocket Man, Rodney Dangerfield, U.N. sanctions

Mr. Mueller, Another Indictment … Please

December 24, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

It is holiday time but we are not in a festive mood.

The national embarrassment sitting in the White House has zapped us of our usual holiday cheer. Try as we may, we just cannot jingle our bells or deck our halls as in years past. We need something only you can provide that will lift us out of our funk … an indictment or two.

Yes, we were happy when you announced your first indictments against Paul Manafort and Richard Gates. We were thrilled when George Papadopoulos was the first Trump aide to plead guilty in your Trump-Russia probe. But that was nearly two months ago.

We were more than ecstatic when you got former Trump national security advisor, Mike Flynn, to plead guilty to lying to the FBI. But that too was nearly one month ago.

We are in disperate need of a new dose of good news.

An indictment against Donald Trump Jr., or Jared Kushner, would do just fine.

We know you have the goods on these two loathsome human beings. Why not make your announcement now … before the start of the New Year?

We have been given a heads up by Senate Intelligence Committee member, Mark Warner, that something big is about to come down the pike.  While appearing on MSNBC this week, Warner confirmed that “more” indictments are coming. So why not now?

Call it our Christmas present.

What’s that you say? Too cruel to announce indictments at Christmas time? You and your team of investigators would be seen as mean, biased, partisan hacks?

Sorry, but a good portion of the country, along with the man occupying the Oval Office and many congressional Republicans, already see your investigation as a “witch hunt.”

But we trust your judgment. If you are waiting until after the start of 2018 to drop the hammer of justice, I guess we can wait.

God bless you, Mr. Mueller. God bless us, every one.

(Credit Image: © Xinhua via ZUMA Wire)

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Christmas, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., FBI investigation, indictment, Jared Kushner, Mark Warner, present, Robert Mueller, Trump-Russia probe

Congressional Republicans Embark On Path To Self-Destruction

December 20, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

The Republican-controlled House and Senate just passed a tax bill that hurts everyone except millionaires, billionaires and corporations. Why would they do that? Why would they vote for a bill that is strongly opposed by a majority of Americans? Don’t they realize the mid-term elections are on the horizon? Don’t they understand a riled up electorate will surely kick them out of office?

To understand this paradox, it helps to recall the tale of the scorpion and the frog.

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn’t see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

“Hellooo Mr. Frog!” called the scorpion across the water, “Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?”

“Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?” asked the frog hesitantly.

“Because,” the scorpion replied, “If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!”

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. “What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!”

“This is true,” agreed the scorpion, “But then I wouldn’t be able to get to the other side of the river!”

“Alright then…how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?” said the frog.

“Ahh…,” crooned the scorpion, “Because you see, once you’ve taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!”

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog’s back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog’s soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog’s back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs. 

“You fool!” croaked the frog, “Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?”

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drowning frog’s back. 

“I could not help myself. It is my nature.“

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

Congressional Republicans may have committed political suicide but they could not help themselves. Passing tax cuts for their mega-rich, powerful donors is in their nature.

Photo | thinglink.com

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: billionaires, congressional Republicans, frog, House, millionaires, political suicide, scorpion, self-destruction, Senate, tax bill, tax cuts, unpopular

America Under Siege From Within … Coo Coo Coo Coup!

December 18, 2017 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Fox News, our very own state propaganda machine, finally went there.

They used the “c” word.

In an effort to delegitimize the ongoing investigation into the Kremlin’s meddling in our 2016 election, and possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia, Fox News has accused the FBI and special counsel Robert Mueller of a “coup” attempt against the Trump administration.

Here is part of Fox News’ Jesse Watters recent rant, filled with misleading statements, about the alleged coup d’état:

“So the investigation into Donald Trump’s campaign has been crooked from the jump,” Watters said. “But the scary part is we may now have proof the investigation was weaponized to destroy his presidency for partisan political purposes and to disenfranchise millions of American voters. Now, if that’s true, we have a coup on our hands in America.”

It’s possible that Jessie and his friends at Fox do not know the meaning of “coup” (a sudden decisive exercise of force in politics; especially : the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group). Or they are purposely stirring up their base of brainwashed blockheads in anticipation of some very bad news about to come down the pike.

Either way, this sort of language is not only irresponsible, it is downright dangerous.

There, no doubt, are many gun-toting Fox viewers who could take this incendiary talk to heart and see it as a call to action.

Since morphing into Trump TV, Fox News is doing it’s very best to paint Trump as a victim, not as a president who may be guilty of obstructing justice … or treason.

It appears Fox has given up on calling the Mueller investigation a “hoax”; a “witchhunt”; a “fraud.” Now it’s a “coup.”

Rest assured, no matter what Trump’s propaganda outlet calls it, or what Trump may try to do (shut down the investigation), the truth will eventually come out.

But the potential for violence only increases with what Fox News is spewing on a daily basis.

Photo | foxnews.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: "c" word, collusion, coup, Donald Trump, FBI, fox news, investigation, Jesse Watters, Robert Mueller, Russia meddling

Moore Will Concede … When God Tells Him To

December 14, 2017 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Two days after having lost the Alabama special election, Republican Roy Moore has yet to concede.

On election night, Moore stated that “when the vote is this close, that it’s not over.” He added he would “wait on God and let this process play out.”

True to form, Moore is letting everyone know whom he answers to. It is not the people of Alabama or their manmade laws. It is the word of the Almighty.

Asked it he would concede after Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill certifies the final vote count, Moore answered in a way that surely will please his Christian conservative base, “Hell no!”

“I get my marching orders from God. Until he tells me to do something, I will wait. He hasn’t told me to throw in the towel yet. I know one thing, God works in mysterious ways,“ said Moore.

Democrat Doug Jones, the newly elected Senator from Alabama, said there was “no doubt” in his mind about the election results. He said Moore would “do well to go ahead and let’s get this behind us.”

Rep. Terri Sewell, D-Alabama, told CNN’s “New Day” yesterday morning that she has the “utmost confidence” Jones “won outright.” She suggested Moore’s refusal to concede was a publicity stunt.

“I’m not sure what his posturing is about, other than it keeps him in the limelight and it keeps him relevant for another week,” Sewell said.

Asked when and how he receives God’s word, Moore answered that the Heavenly Father speaks to him in his sleep, adding new meaning to the phrase “I’ll sleep on it.”

Taking a page from Donald Trump’s playbook, Moore plans to hold a rally in deeply conservative Jefferson County later today.

Yes, God told him to.

“Look,” said Moore, “there’s a saying that it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings. To a Christian, it ain’t over until God pulls the plug.”

Photo | politifact.com

Caution – elements of this article may be satirical!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Alabama, certify election, christian conservatives, concede, Doug Jones, God, loss, Roy Moore, senate race, special election

“God Wants Judge Roy Moore” Video

December 6, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Judge Moore’s latest, most powerful new commercial sure to get him to Washington.

Courtesy of The Spiegel Group/ D.C.Douglas

Photo | truepundit.com

***The Daily Nooze*** – named #10 top political satire blog by blog.feedspot.com. Like us on ranker.com (#43)

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Alabama, commercial, election, God, pedophile, Republicans, Roy Moore, satire, Senate

Roy Moore … The Candidate With An “R” After His Name

December 3, 2017 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

With Alabama’s special election for the U.S. Senate less than 10 days away, it appears Republican Roy Moore is poised for victory. Despite allegations he may be a sexual predator, voters in the Yellowhammer State are rallying around the twice-fired State Supreme Court justice.

In an effort to learn more about why Alabamians are supporting a candidate accused of pedophilia and of disobeying the United States Constitution, the Daily Nooze interviewed retired Tuscaloosa schoolteacher, Sally Sue Scruggs.

DN: “Mrs. Scruggs, you have stated that despite all the allegations against Roy Moore you will still vote for him in the upcoming election. Could you please tell us why?

Scruggs: “As you yourself just said, these are allegations. I don’t believe them. I don’t believe all the women who have come out against Judge Moore. And even if what they say is true, I forgive him. That’s the Christian thing to do.”

DN: “ So there is nothing that would stop you from voting for Mr. Moore?”

Scruggs: “No. My daddy taught me a long time ago that voting is easy. It doesn’t require much thinking. You just have to vote for the candidate with the “R” next to his name.”

DN: “So you would vote for Mr. Moore even if he were, say, a tax cheat or a convicted murderer?”

Scruggs: “I have faith that Judge Moore is not a tax cheat and he is not a convicted murderer.”

DN: “ What if Mr. Moore engaged in necrophilia?”

Scruggs: “The Bible says nothing about that … whatever it is.”

DN: “What if Mr. Moore raped your daughter in the middle of the town square?”

Scruggs: “Which daughter … my 12 year old or my 18 year old?”

With that answer, the interview came to an end.

The latest polls show Roy Moore ahead of Democrat Doug Jones just days before the Dec. 12 election. Even as the controversy around Moore continues, his numbers appear to be climbing.

As Donald Trump bluntly put it, “We don’t need a liberal person in there, a Democrat, Jones. I’ve looked at his record. It’s terrible on crime. It’s terrible on the border. It’s terrible on the military.”

And Roy Moore has an “R” after his name.

Photo | politico.com

Caution – this could be satire!

***The Daily Nooze*** – named #10 top political satire blog by blog.feedspot.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: "R" after his name, Alabama, judge, pedophile, Republican, Roy Moore, satire, sexual predator, special election, United States senate, vote

Republicans Pull Off Greatest Tax Heist In U.S. History … All In Plain View

December 2, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Today, fifty-one Republican senators voted, in the dark of night, to repay their wealthy benefactors by approving a “tax cut bill” that enriches the country’s millionaires and billionaires at the expense of everyone else.

In a rational universe, those fifty-one senators would have in effect signed their own death warrants. But we do not live in a world ruled by reason.

Here is a list of the fifty-one U.S. Senators who voted to take from the have-nots to give to the have-it-alls:

Lamar Alexander, Tenn

John Barrasso, Wyo.

John Boozman, Ark.
Richard M. Burr, N.C.
Thad Cochran, Miss.
John Cornyn, Tex.
Steve Daines, Mont.
Michael B. Enzi, Wyo.
Jeff Flake, Ariz.
Lindsey Graham, S.C.
Charles E. Grassley, Iowa
Orrin G. Hatch, Utah
James M. Inhofe, Okla.
Johnny Isakson, Ga.
Ron Johnson, Wis.
James Lankford, Okla.
John McCain, Ariz.
Mitch McConnell, Ky.
Rand Paul, Ky.
David Perdue, Ga.
Rob Portman, Ohio
Pat Roberts, Kan.
Michael Rounds, S.D.
Tim Scott, S.C.
Richard C. Shelby, Ala.
Luther Strange, Ala.
John Thune, S.D.
Thom Tillis, N.C.
Patrick J. Toomey, Pa.
Roger Wicker, Miss.
Todd Young, Ind.
Roy Blunt, Mo.
Shelley Moore Capito, W.Va.
Bill Cassidy, La.
Tom Cotton, Ark.
Michael D. Crapo, Idaho
Ted Cruz, Tex.
Joni Ernst, Iowa
Cory Gardner, Colo.
Dean Heller, Nev.
John Hoeven, N.D.
Mike Lee, Utah
Jerry Moran, Kan.
Lisa Murkowski, Alaska
Jim Risch, Idaho
Marco Rubio, Fla.
Ben Sasse, Neb.
Dan Sullivan, Alaska
Susan Collins, Me.
Deb Fischer, Neb.
John Kennedy, La.

The reality is that few of these senators, if any, will pay a political price. Their supporters won’t know how badly the falsely advertised “middle class tax cut” bill actually hurts them … if not immediately, then in the near future.

It’s unfortunate that the best news of the day (Flynn pleading guilty and flipping on Trump) is immediately followed by the Republican “reverse-Robin Hood” tax scam.

Photo | Tom Brenner/The New York Times

 

Filed Under: breaking news, featured Tagged With: fifty-one Republicans, list of senators, repay benefactors, Republicans, reverse Robin Hood, Senate, tax bill, tax cut bill, tax cuts, tax scam, wealthy

Trump: Flynn … Flynn Who?

December 1, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Today may be remembered as the day Trump went down for the count. Michael Flynn, Trump’s former national security adviser, has pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about conversations he had with the Russian ambassador (spy?) last December. Sources say Flynn is ready to finger his old boss.

While we have yet to hear from the Twitter-happy Trump about this bombshell development in the Mueller investigation into his campaign’s ties to Russia, Ty Cobb, Trump’s attorney issued the following statement:

“Today, Michael Flynn, a former National Security Advisor at the White House for 25 days during the Trump Administration, and a former Obama administration official, entered a guilty plea to a single count of making a false statement to the FBI.

The false statements involved mirror the false statements to White House officials which resulted in his resignation in February of this year. Nothing about the guilty plea or the charge implicates anyone other than Mr. Flynn. The conclusion of this phase of the Special Counsel’s work demonstrates again that the Special Counsel is moving with all deliberate speed and clears the way for a prompt and reasonable conclusion.”

Perhaps anticipating this day, Trump put out a statement in early May trying to distance himself from Flynn’s legal troubles. He blamed any problems with the retired three-star general on the Obama administration.  Trump tweeted Flynn was “given the highest security clearance by the Obama Administration – but the Fake News seldom likes talking about that.”

During a Fox News interview this past April, Trump blamed Obama for flaws in the Flynn vetting process. “So when he came into our administration, for a short period of time, he came in, he was already approved by the Obama administration and he had years left on that approval,” Trump said.

After Trump’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort, was indicted on charges stemming from Mueller’s investigation, he tried to downplay his connection with Manafort as well. Once again his attorney, Ty Cobb, issued a statement that emphasized the short amount of time Manafort acted as campaign manager.

“[Trump] likes and respects Mr. Manafort and appreciates the work he did for him during the three months he was with the campaign.”

Let’s see … Flynn, 25 days with the administration; Manafort only three months with the campaign? How could Trump possibly have had any real association with the two or know what they were up to with Russia?

Alls eyes are waiting for the King of Twitter to offer up some ridiculous and incredible statement.

As a famous bandleader used to say, “ And-a-one-and-a-two-and-a-three …”

Photo | newsweek.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: breaking news, featured Tagged With: Donald Trump, FBI, guilty plea, lying, Michael Flynn, Mueller investigation, Obama administration, Russia probe

Sex Scandal Hits The Vatican

November 29, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

At a time when women accusing powerful men of sexual misconduct has turned into a daily ritual, another dominant male has been ensnared in allegations of sexual impropriety going back decades.

Pope Francis has been accused of groping two nuns during his years as a seminary student at the Inmaculada Concepción Seminary, in Villa Devoto, Buenos Aires.

The nuns, who chose to remain anonymous, have told reporters that the Holy Father copped a feel while they were waiting in line to give their weekly confessions at the Catedral Metropolitana, Buenos Aires. The alleged incidents took place in the summer of 1955.

“From out of nowhere I felt a hand squeeze my buttocks” said one of the nuns. The second nun told the same story of a surprise, unwanted touching.

Vatican spokesman, Father Guido Sarducci, issued a statement that neither confirmed nor denied the accusations.

“The Pope does not recall any incidents of improper touching during his years at the seminary. The alleged groping goes back 62 years. One has to ask why the nuns would wait so long to accuse the Vicar of Christ.”

Catholics throughout the world are in shock, not knowing what to make of the allegations. Many are simply praying, “Please say it ain’t so, Papa.”

One powerful male facing sexual misconduct allegations of his own has come to the Pope’s defense … Donald Trump.

“This is ridiculous,” said Trump. “Why would the Pope grope a nun? They are generally very homely. I would say on average a four. Have you ever seen a hot nun except in the movies?”

Father Sarducci went on to say, “Pardon the pun, but the Pope does not make it a habit of forcing himself on nuns or any females for that matter.”

If the allegations are true, expect more nuns to come forward in the days ahead.

It is being rumored that the two nuns accusing the Pope of sexual misconduct have contacted Lisa Bloom, a lawyer famous for representing female victims of sexual harassment and assault.

Photos | courageouschristianfather.com – pinterest.com

Caution – this could be fake news!

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, groping, Lisa Bloom, misconduct, nuns, Pope Francis, satire, sexual allegations, sexual impropriety

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