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Democrats Can’t See The Forest For The Trees

December 22, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Nearly one and a half months after their candidate’s defeat, Democrats are still in mourning. They’re in the dumps. They cannot understand how a Hillary victory that was seemingly in the bag ended up as one of the most shocking presidential losses in American history.

The Democratic Party will no doubt conduct a postmortem similar to the one carried out by Republicans after their 2012 loss.

Already there are different theories being floated for this devastating upset. Hillary did not campaign enough in the Rust Belt states. Hillary did not address the economic concerns of the angry white blue-collar male. Hillary forgot about rural America … and so on and so on.

Democrats, save your money.

There is one simple fact that led to your electoral demise. You nominated perhaps the most viscerally hated political candidate in your party’s history. Unfortunately, you got too hung up on the corresponding fact that Hillary was also the most experienced candidate in your party’s history.

For many voters, the 2016 election literally came down to choosing the lesser of two evils.

While many voters (especially evangelical) disliked the Republican candidate and correctly saw him as an immoral, narcissistic, pathological liar, he was not the devil incarnate, Hillary Clinton. With Trump the sinner, there was always the possibility of redemption. That could never have been the case for the Princess of Darkness.

After years of Clinton bashing by conservative media; after years of politically motivated investigations by Congress, there was nothing Hillary could have done, short of walking on water, which would have changed the minds of many Hillary-hating voters.

Yes, the FBI’s illegal actions weeks before the election, along with Russian interference favoring Trump, did not help Clinton’s chances. Nor did voter suppression in many Republican-controlled states.

The simple truth, as much as Democrats hate to admit it, is that voters did not so much vote for Trump as they voted against Hillary.

As one Wisconsin voter, who had previously voted for Obama, told MSNBC’s Chris Hayes at a town hall meeting held last week in Kenosha, “I voted for Trump because he is not Hillary.”

The Democratic Party should not complicate things. Instead, they should heed the wisdom found in the principle of Occam’s razor. The simplest explanation is usually the best.

Photo | downtrend.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

It’s Official … U.S.A. Once Again A Winner!

December 19, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

With Donald J. Trump today having been officially elevated to our nation’s highest office by a group of loyal, patriotic, “party-over-country” electors, America’s future looks bright again.

After eight years of enduring the failed presidency of Barack Hussein Obama, Americans are hungry for a change. And with Trump now set to become our nation’s 45th president on January 20, 2017, true Americans will finally get their country back.

The voters who picked our new “outside-the-beltway” president, over the loathsome, hopelessly experienced Hillary Clinton, sent a clear message to the Democrat Party on November 8th. They had had enough of a president who, in eight years, failed to get U.S. troops involved in a new war. Certainly Obama had his chances, they point out. Plus voters have never forgiven Obama for ending a perfectly good war in Iraq in 2011.

When Hillary Clinton promised voters she would continue, and build on, the policies of the Obama Administration, she effectively made herself unelectable. Voters did not want to add to the Obama disasters they’ve had to suffer through over the last eight years:

  1. Jumpstarting the economy during the worst recession since the Great Depression.
  2. Passing the Dodd-Frank Act, which holds Wall Street accountable in the event of another financial crisis.
  3. Saving the American auto industry.
  4. Passing the Affordable Care Act that now insures 32 million previously uninsured Americans.
  5. Overseeing a stock market that has nearly tripled in value.
  6. Creating over 15 million new jobs.
  7. Reversing Bush’s torture policies.
  8. Authorizing the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden.
  9. Leading the fight on climate change.
  10. Signing a landmark nuclear deal with Iran.

No sir, Donald Trump has promised to reverse all of Obama’s disastrous polices as soon as he takes office.

Trump, the billionaire celebrity and entrepreneur, has promised to bring back millions of jobs that have left the U.S. He will not, however, be bringing those overseas jobs that produce his many products as they never were made in the U.S. to start with.

As Trump has promised the American people, they will start winning again … so much so they will be sick and tired of winning.

For many giddily anxious Americans, the Trump presidency cannot start soon enough.

USA! … USA! … USA!

Photo | REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire

Trump’s Strange “Magical Victory Tour”

December 17, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Despite having won the election, Donald Trump is still out on the campaign trail. Yesterday’s stop was Orlando, Florida. Today’s destination, Mobile, Alabama.

President-elect Trump has ostensibly gone back on the campaign trail to deliver a message of unity after one of our country’s more divisive presidential elections. The strange thing is that Trump’s tour stops have only included those states that helped him magically win the presidency: Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan, North Carolina, Iowa, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Alabama.

If Donald Trump’s goal is to heal the nation’s wounds, he sure has a funny way of going about it.

At almost every stop, Trump has attacked the press as being “dishonest,” railed against his political opponents (both Democrat and Republican) and gloated over his defeat of Democrat Hillary Clinton.

Trump’s loyalists have greeted his call for togetherness with the same chants heard during the primary season: “Lock her up,” “Build the wall,” and everyone’s’ favorite, “USA… USA… USA!”

Trump’s new road show can best be described has his “greatest hits” tour. Even though he has backed away from some of the songs he sang during the primary campaign, he is smart enough to know you give your audiences what they came to hear.

The “Trumpmania” tour has not disappointed fans. Even though he is re-writing some tunes made popular during the campaign (“The Big Beautiful Wall,” “I’m Locking Up Crooked Hillary”), he is still performing most of his beloved songs (even though they too may be subject to re-write): “I’m Repealing Obamacare,” “Let’s Keep Those Muslims Out,” “Rip, Rip, Rip Up Those Trade Deals” and “Gotta Drain That Swamp.”

Trump groupies are ecstatic about having their pied piper back on tour. It’s been one packed arena after another.

Of course, the fact that Trump has been running ads in those states where he has appeared has helped with turnout. The message? Come to our rally and hear the only man who can take all your troubles away.

“The Magical Victory Tour” is waiting to take you away … take you away, maybe today.

Photo | Reuters/Lucas Jackson/Carlo Allegri/Salon)

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Putin Fingerprints All Over U.S. Election Interference

December 14, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Russian President President Vladimir Putin holds up a glass during a toast at a luncheon hosted by United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, Monday, Sept. 28, 2015, at United Nations headquarters. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)

Surprise, surprise! Today U.S. intelligence officials revealed they believe Vladimir Putin was directly involved in efforts to disrupt our presidential election. Specifically, they have strong evidence that the Russian President, and former KGB spy, oversaw a concerted effort to help Donald Trump get elected president.

To many, this was not news at all.

It was long suspected, prior to the election, that our longtime geopolitical adversary committed the hacking of the DNC servers and the subsequent release of damaging information to WikiLeaks. But now we are told the effort to undermine our electoral system went directly to the top … Comrade Putin.

Certainly U.S. diplomats, and other government officials, familiar with Putin and his autocratic ways are not surprised.

That Russia could have been involved in trying to influence our presidential election without strongman Putin’s knowledge or active involvement was always a stretch … almost on a par with bully Chris Christie not knowing about, or somehow being involved in, the George Washington Bridge lane closures. What underlings would dare take such actions without the big boss’s approval?

And now what?

Both Democrats and Republicans are calling for a formal investigation. Some think Congress is up to the task while others are calling for an independent probe to avoid the potential stink of partisanship.

Whatever form an investigation takes, there is no way results will be known until after January 20, 2017 … when Donald J. Trump will be sworn in as our nation’s 45th president.

A small group of Electoral College electors (10) has asked U.S. intelligence officials for more information on Russian interference in our election and any ongoing investigations surrounding Donald Trump’s relationship with Russia. They have asked that the information be given them ahead of their Dec. 19 meeting to formally vote for the next president.

Whether or not the electors get the information requested, they need to approach their Constitutional duty with the utmost seriousness … namely, by rejecting a man who appears to have been placed into office through the aid of a foreign enemy, at best, or the potential treason on the part of the Trump campaign, at worst.

The future of our great country, and that of the world, is now in the hands of 538 individuals. God help us.

Photo | AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Trump Picks Fraudster Bernie Madoff Treasury Secretary

December 8, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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In a startling announcement, president-elect Donald Trump has named convicted felon, Bernie Madoff, to head the Treasury Department.

During his first press conference since winning the presidency, Trump told a group of journalists he is pleased to have such a skilled and knowledgeable man in his cabinet.

“I’ve known Bernie for quite some time and I can tell you, believe me, he is the good Bernie,” said the soon-to-be 45th president of the United States.

As would be expected, a reporter asked Trump how he could choose a man serving a 150-year prison sentence as his treasury secretary? Trump was quick to respond.

“As president, I will have the absolute power to pardon anyone I want to, especially someone who was wrongfully convicted by the mainstream media and liberal judges. Just look at all the felons Bill Clinton pardoned during his presidency,” said Trump.

“I don’t know anyone who is better with money than Bernie. He made tons of money for his investors, both in good times and bad times,“ added the president-elect.

When it was pointed out to Trump that Bernie Madoff ran a Ponzi scheme which usually rewards early investors while leaving later stakeholders holding the bag, Trump replied, “Investing, like everything else, is all a matter of timing. Nothing is guaranteed. There are always winners and losers.”

“Look at my case,” said Trump. “If I had run for president four years ago, I probably would not have won. My timing was excellent. I ran against one of the most hated establishment politicians of all time, ‘Crooked Hillary.’ Plus, I have to say, it helped having so many Republican-controlled states pass voter suppression laws making it harder for Democrats to vote.”

“Haven’t you just admitted you won the election through voter fraud?” yelled out a fearless reporter. “No,” answered Trump, “ there was no voter fraud, just suppression, two different things my amigo.”

Reached for comment at the Butner Federal Correctional Institution, the 78-year-old Madoff was thrilled to hear the news.

“I have always felt my career as a financier was not over. I look forward to bringing the skills I developed in my personal business to the country as a whole. … just like president-elect Trump promised to do for the country what he has done for most of his businesses.”

No one can deny Trump is the master at turning bankruptcies into gold … for himself.

Disclaimer: This story may be fake… or not!

Photos | marketwatch.com; abcnews.go.com

 

Filed Under: featured, satire

Donald Trump’s Twitter Diplomacy

December 5, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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One of the most important jobs in any presidential administration is that of Secretary of State. The holder of that position serves as America’s top diplomat around the world and the job is often held by those hoping to use the post as a springboard to higher office at some point in their careers. An argument could be made that the job is the most important cabinet position since whoever holds the office is fourth in the line of presidential succession.

President-elect Donald Trump has yet to name his choice for Secretary of State. A number of interesting names have been floated as possible picks: Rudy Giuliani, John Bolton, Bob Corker, Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman and retired General David Patraeus.

But as important as the job may be from an historical perspective, we are now living in strange times. A TV celebrity, with no governing experience, whose only foreign policy goal seems to be how best to promote his business interests, will soon be occupying the White House

Some political observers are wondering if the position of Secretary of State will be as critical in a Trump administration as in days past. In fact, one Republican analyst, Ana Navarro, has observed the nation no longer needs a Secretary of State.

Navarro tweeted: “Let’s stop obsessing over who’ll be Secretary of State. We don’t need one. Our Twitter-in-Chief can set foreign policy in 140 characters.”

As amusing as Navarro’s comment may be, it is painfully very close to the truth.

We may be looking at the first president who will conduct his foreign policy by way of social media. It is very possible the main function for the next Secretary of State will be to put out diplomatic fires initiated by a Trump tweet.

Who would want such a job? Certainly not any one in their right mind!

Only a diehard Trump flunky could possible consider such a thankless, seemingly impossible, job. Only someone who has spent a lot of time defending Trumpism, in all its shades of inanity, would be willing to humiliate himself on an international stage.

It looks very likely our next Secretary of State will be “Mayor 9-11” himself … by default.

Also, Giuliani has been accused of not bing in his right mind for quite some time.

Photo | nymag.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Could Trump Presidency Mark End Of Political Satire?

December 1, 2016 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

1438177031_donald-trump-sarah-palin-zoomNot too long ago, when the idea of a president-elect Donald Trump seemed as remote as a manned-mission to Neptune, political writers had a field day satirizing what a Trump administration would look like. I plead guilty to the sinful pleasure of having put out a list of potential Trump cabinet picks. (Confident Trump Lining Up Cabinet)

Invariably, Sarah Palin made almost every satirist’s list for secretary of something … State, or perhaps, Education?

Just the thought of Palin as the head of any of the 15 executive departments was a hoot in its shear absurdity.

Now, a close Palin aide and a top Donald Trump transition official have told ABC News Sarah Palin is seriously being considered for secretary of veterans affairs. The Department of Veterans Affairs just happens to be the largest government agency, with over 300,000 federal employees and a budget of $182 billion for 2017.

As crazy as it may seem having the half-term, half-witted Alaska governor run such as massive enterprise, the news is no joke. This is not satire.

It appears Palin’s main qualification for the job is that her son, Track, spent a year deployed in Iraq with the U.S. Army. You may recall it was Track Palin who got busted for drunken domestic abuse only to be defended by “Mama Grizzly” who blamed the incident on his PTSD … and President Obama, of course!

So the woman who, as John McCain’s 2008 VP pick, thought she was qualified in foreign affairs because she could see Russia from her backyard now thinks she is experienced to run the largest governmental agency because her son served one year in the military?

But more importantly, what would such an appointment say about the judgment and competency of the soon to be President Trump?

It is safe to say veterans do not see this news as humorous.

With a Trump administration, we may soon be witnessing the end of humor as a means to ridicule and expose political stupidity.

From hereon in, don’t assume a headline such as this: “Trump Pardons Bernie Madoff And Picks Him To Run Treasury Department” is meant as political parody.

Fact-checking will never be more important.

Photo | usmagazine.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

The Media Has Become The New Hillary Clinton

November 23, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

bill_of_rights

During his presidential run, Donald Trump was able to successfully brand Hillary Clinton as “Crooked Hillary.” Now that he no longer has his former opponent to stir up his faithful followers, he is aiming his ire at the crooked media.

And there is no news outlet more hated by Trump than The New York Times.

A few days ago, the “King of the Tweets” was at his media-bashing best when he denounced The New York Times as a “failing” institution that covered him inaccurately — “and with a nasty tone!”

Yesterday, instead of holding a post-election press conference as has been the custom of a president-elect, Trump invited major media bigwigs for a private, off-the-record meeting at his gold-plated lair on Fifth Avenue. According to many who attended, the meeting did not go well.

“It was like a f−−−ing firing squad,” one source said of the encounter.

“Trump kept saying, ‘We’re in a room of liars, the deceitful, dishonest media who got it all wrong.’ He addressed everyone in the room, calling the media dishonest, deceitful liars. He called out Jeff Zucker by name and said everyone at CNN was a liar, and CNN was [a] network of liars,” the source said.

Trump’s distrust for the media is best reflected in the fact that he has not held a press conference since July. Many analysts are predicting once Trump takes over the Oval Office, he will emulate his political idol, Vladimir Putin. It is the Russian autocrat’s custom to give a press conference just once a year… and the Russian media is thrilled with that small crumb!

What Trump is doing by vilifying an independent press is standard fare for autocrats. Like his peers in Argentina, Turkey, Ecuador, Venezuela and Russia, Trump views a free media as something to be crushed. He tells his supporters it represents the corrupt elites, both inside and outside the country. But the truth is a free media represents a threat to his power.

The media is now the new enemy of the people. The rallying cry has gone from “Crooked Hillary” to the “Crooked Media.” Any media outlet that has the temerity to print negative articles about our new tyrant … I mean president … runs the risk of Trump’s wrath!

Maybe he will threaten to sue? If history is any guide, that idle threat just might placate his diehard sycophants.

But sorry Don, our great country was founded on freedom of speech and the corresponding democrat bulwark of freedom of the press. We are not a third word country that lacks the institutions to put you in your place… or out of office.

Photo | theimaginativeconservative

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Old Abe Couldn’t Agree With You More!

November 22, 2016 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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Photo | historynewsnetwork.org

Filed Under: featured, satire

How To Get Through Thanksgiving Dinner

November 20, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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OK. So you are dreading Thanksgiving dinner with your family for the first time in your life. The idea of sitting around a table for three hours with a family of Trumpites is making you sick. Instead of looking forward to some of your favorite foods you are dreading the ribbing you will surely be subjected to.

At a time like this, it is best to heed the sound advice offered in the movie classic, Animal House.

After Delta Tau Chi pledge Kent Dorfman (Flounder) foolishly agrees to let his fraternity brothers use his brand new Lincoln for a road trip (after it had been entrusted to him by his brother for the weekend), he starts sobbing like a baby when he later sees the car is a wreck. In an effort to soothe Flounder’s feelings, Delta brother John Blutarksy (Bluto) thrusts a six-pack into his hands and offers up these immortal words:

“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”

Some heavy drinking is just what’s called for this Thanksgiving. Instead of going for the turkey, try hitting the Tangueray. You are guaranteed to forget your woes and, for a short time at least, forget that Donald Trump is our president-elect.

Animal House’s brother Bluto was so right. What’s the use of crying over spilled milk? The election is over. The damage has been done. There is nothing you can do but accept it. So let your family gloat about their man. Once properly plastered, nothing will matter as nothing will register.

Then it will be on to next Thanksgiving when all the talk will be about our new president, Mike Pence.

Photo | youtube.com

Filed Under: featured, satire

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