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Trump’s Strange “Magical Victory Tour”

December 17, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Despite having won the election, Donald Trump is still out on the campaign trail. Yesterday’s stop was Orlando, Florida. Today’s destination, Mobile, Alabama.

President-elect Trump has ostensibly gone back on the campaign trail to deliver a message of unity after one of our country’s more divisive presidential elections. The strange thing is that Trump’s tour stops have only included those states that helped him magically win the presidency: Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan, North Carolina, Iowa, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Alabama.

If Donald Trump’s goal is to heal the nation’s wounds, he sure has a funny way of going about it.

At almost every stop, Trump has attacked the press as being “dishonest,” railed against his political opponents (both Democrat and Republican) and gloated over his defeat of Democrat Hillary Clinton.

Trump’s loyalists have greeted his call for togetherness with the same chants heard during the primary season: “Lock her up,” “Build the wall,” and everyone’s’ favorite, “USA… USA… USA!”

Trump’s new road show can best be described has his “greatest hits” tour. Even though he has backed away from some of the songs he sang during the primary campaign, he is smart enough to know you give your audiences what they came to hear.

The “Trumpmania” tour has not disappointed fans. Even though he is re-writing some tunes made popular during the campaign (“The Big Beautiful Wall,” “I’m Locking Up Crooked Hillary”), he is still performing most of his beloved songs (even though they too may be subject to re-write): “I’m Repealing Obamacare,” “Let’s Keep Those Muslims Out,” “Rip, Rip, Rip Up Those Trade Deals” and “Gotta Drain That Swamp.”

Trump groupies are ecstatic about having their pied piper back on tour. It’s been one packed arena after another.

Of course, the fact that Trump has been running ads in those states where he has appeared has helped with turnout. The message? Come to our rally and hear the only man who can take all your troubles away.

“The Magical Victory Tour” is waiting to take you away … take you away, maybe today.

Photo | Reuters/Lucas Jackson/Carlo Allegri/Salon)

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Putin Fingerprints All Over U.S. Election Interference

December 14, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Russian President President Vladimir Putin holds up a glass during a toast at a luncheon hosted by United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, Monday, Sept. 28, 2015, at United Nations headquarters. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)

Surprise, surprise! Today U.S. intelligence officials revealed they believe Vladimir Putin was directly involved in efforts to disrupt our presidential election. Specifically, they have strong evidence that the Russian President, and former KGB spy, oversaw a concerted effort to help Donald Trump get elected president.

To many, this was not news at all.

It was long suspected, prior to the election, that our longtime geopolitical adversary committed the hacking of the DNC servers and the subsequent release of damaging information to WikiLeaks. But now we are told the effort to undermine our electoral system went directly to the top … Comrade Putin.

Certainly U.S. diplomats, and other government officials, familiar with Putin and his autocratic ways are not surprised.

That Russia could have been involved in trying to influence our presidential election without strongman Putin’s knowledge or active involvement was always a stretch … almost on a par with bully Chris Christie not knowing about, or somehow being involved in, the George Washington Bridge lane closures. What underlings would dare take such actions without the big boss’s approval?

And now what?

Both Democrats and Republicans are calling for a formal investigation. Some think Congress is up to the task while others are calling for an independent probe to avoid the potential stink of partisanship.

Whatever form an investigation takes, there is no way results will be known until after January 20, 2017 … when Donald J. Trump will be sworn in as our nation’s 45th president.

A small group of Electoral College electors (10) has asked U.S. intelligence officials for more information on Russian interference in our election and any ongoing investigations surrounding Donald Trump’s relationship with Russia. They have asked that the information be given them ahead of their Dec. 19 meeting to formally vote for the next president.

Whether or not the electors get the information requested, they need to approach their Constitutional duty with the utmost seriousness … namely, by rejecting a man who appears to have been placed into office through the aid of a foreign enemy, at best, or the potential treason on the part of the Trump campaign, at worst.

The future of our great country, and that of the world, is now in the hands of 538 individuals. God help us.

Photo | AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Trump Picks Fraudster Bernie Madoff Treasury Secretary

December 8, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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In a startling announcement, president-elect Donald Trump has named convicted felon, Bernie Madoff, to head the Treasury Department.

During his first press conference since winning the presidency, Trump told a group of journalists he is pleased to have such a skilled and knowledgeable man in his cabinet.

“I’ve known Bernie for quite some time and I can tell you, believe me, he is the good Bernie,” said the soon-to-be 45th president of the United States.

As would be expected, a reporter asked Trump how he could choose a man serving a 150-year prison sentence as his treasury secretary? Trump was quick to respond.

“As president, I will have the absolute power to pardon anyone I want to, especially someone who was wrongfully convicted by the mainstream media and liberal judges. Just look at all the felons Bill Clinton pardoned during his presidency,” said Trump.

“I don’t know anyone who is better with money than Bernie. He made tons of money for his investors, both in good times and bad times,“ added the president-elect.

When it was pointed out to Trump that Bernie Madoff ran a Ponzi scheme which usually rewards early investors while leaving later stakeholders holding the bag, Trump replied, “Investing, like everything else, is all a matter of timing. Nothing is guaranteed. There are always winners and losers.”

“Look at my case,” said Trump. “If I had run for president four years ago, I probably would not have won. My timing was excellent. I ran against one of the most hated establishment politicians of all time, ‘Crooked Hillary.’ Plus, I have to say, it helped having so many Republican-controlled states pass voter suppression laws making it harder for Democrats to vote.”

“Haven’t you just admitted you won the election through voter fraud?” yelled out a fearless reporter. “No,” answered Trump, “ there was no voter fraud, just suppression, two different things my amigo.”

Reached for comment at the Butner Federal Correctional Institution, the 78-year-old Madoff was thrilled to hear the news.

“I have always felt my career as a financier was not over. I look forward to bringing the skills I developed in my personal business to the country as a whole. … just like president-elect Trump promised to do for the country what he has done for most of his businesses.”

No one can deny Trump is the master at turning bankruptcies into gold … for himself.

Disclaimer: This story may be fake… or not!

Photos | marketwatch.com; abcnews.go.com

 

Filed Under: featured, satire

Donald Trump’s Twitter Diplomacy

December 5, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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One of the most important jobs in any presidential administration is that of Secretary of State. The holder of that position serves as America’s top diplomat around the world and the job is often held by those hoping to use the post as a springboard to higher office at some point in their careers. An argument could be made that the job is the most important cabinet position since whoever holds the office is fourth in the line of presidential succession.

President-elect Donald Trump has yet to name his choice for Secretary of State. A number of interesting names have been floated as possible picks: Rudy Giuliani, John Bolton, Bob Corker, Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman and retired General David Patraeus.

But as important as the job may be from an historical perspective, we are now living in strange times. A TV celebrity, with no governing experience, whose only foreign policy goal seems to be how best to promote his business interests, will soon be occupying the White House

Some political observers are wondering if the position of Secretary of State will be as critical in a Trump administration as in days past. In fact, one Republican analyst, Ana Navarro, has observed the nation no longer needs a Secretary of State.

Navarro tweeted: “Let’s stop obsessing over who’ll be Secretary of State. We don’t need one. Our Twitter-in-Chief can set foreign policy in 140 characters.”

As amusing as Navarro’s comment may be, it is painfully very close to the truth.

We may be looking at the first president who will conduct his foreign policy by way of social media. It is very possible the main function for the next Secretary of State will be to put out diplomatic fires initiated by a Trump tweet.

Who would want such a job? Certainly not any one in their right mind!

Only a diehard Trump flunky could possible consider such a thankless, seemingly impossible, job. Only someone who has spent a lot of time defending Trumpism, in all its shades of inanity, would be willing to humiliate himself on an international stage.

It looks very likely our next Secretary of State will be “Mayor 9-11” himself … by default.

Also, Giuliani has been accused of not bing in his right mind for quite some time.

Photo | nymag.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Could Trump Presidency Mark End Of Political Satire?

December 1, 2016 By John DeProspo 7 Comments

1438177031_donald-trump-sarah-palin-zoomNot too long ago, when the idea of a president-elect Donald Trump seemed as remote as a manned-mission to Neptune, political writers had a field day satirizing what a Trump administration would look like. I plead guilty to the sinful pleasure of having put out a list of potential Trump cabinet picks. (Confident Trump Lining Up Cabinet)

Invariably, Sarah Palin made almost every satirist’s list for secretary of something … State, or perhaps, Education?

Just the thought of Palin as the head of any of the 15 executive departments was a hoot in its shear absurdity.

Now, a close Palin aide and a top Donald Trump transition official have told ABC News Sarah Palin is seriously being considered for secretary of veterans affairs. The Department of Veterans Affairs just happens to be the largest government agency, with over 300,000 federal employees and a budget of $182 billion for 2017.

As crazy as it may seem having the half-term, half-witted Alaska governor run such as massive enterprise, the news is no joke. This is not satire.

It appears Palin’s main qualification for the job is that her son, Track, spent a year deployed in Iraq with the U.S. Army. You may recall it was Track Palin who got busted for drunken domestic abuse only to be defended by “Mama Grizzly” who blamed the incident on his PTSD … and President Obama, of course!

So the woman who, as John McCain’s 2008 VP pick, thought she was qualified in foreign affairs because she could see Russia from her backyard now thinks she is experienced to run the largest governmental agency because her son served one year in the military?

But more importantly, what would such an appointment say about the judgment and competency of the soon to be President Trump?

It is safe to say veterans do not see this news as humorous.

With a Trump administration, we may soon be witnessing the end of humor as a means to ridicule and expose political stupidity.

From hereon in, don’t assume a headline such as this: “Trump Pardons Bernie Madoff And Picks Him To Run Treasury Department” is meant as political parody.

Fact-checking will never be more important.

Photo | usmagazine.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

The Media Has Become The New Hillary Clinton

November 23, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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During his presidential run, Donald Trump was able to successfully brand Hillary Clinton as “Crooked Hillary.” Now that he no longer has his former opponent to stir up his faithful followers, he is aiming his ire at the crooked media.

And there is no news outlet more hated by Trump than The New York Times.

A few days ago, the “King of the Tweets” was at his media-bashing best when he denounced The New York Times as a “failing” institution that covered him inaccurately — “and with a nasty tone!”

Yesterday, instead of holding a post-election press conference as has been the custom of a president-elect, Trump invited major media bigwigs for a private, off-the-record meeting at his gold-plated lair on Fifth Avenue. According to many who attended, the meeting did not go well.

“It was like a f−−−ing firing squad,” one source said of the encounter.

“Trump kept saying, ‘We’re in a room of liars, the deceitful, dishonest media who got it all wrong.’ He addressed everyone in the room, calling the media dishonest, deceitful liars. He called out Jeff Zucker by name and said everyone at CNN was a liar, and CNN was [a] network of liars,” the source said.

Trump’s distrust for the media is best reflected in the fact that he has not held a press conference since July. Many analysts are predicting once Trump takes over the Oval Office, he will emulate his political idol, Vladimir Putin. It is the Russian autocrat’s custom to give a press conference just once a year… and the Russian media is thrilled with that small crumb!

What Trump is doing by vilifying an independent press is standard fare for autocrats. Like his peers in Argentina, Turkey, Ecuador, Venezuela and Russia, Trump views a free media as something to be crushed. He tells his supporters it represents the corrupt elites, both inside and outside the country. But the truth is a free media represents a threat to his power.

The media is now the new enemy of the people. The rallying cry has gone from “Crooked Hillary” to the “Crooked Media.” Any media outlet that has the temerity to print negative articles about our new tyrant … I mean president … runs the risk of Trump’s wrath!

Maybe he will threaten to sue? If history is any guide, that idle threat just might placate his diehard sycophants.

But sorry Don, our great country was founded on freedom of speech and the corresponding democrat bulwark of freedom of the press. We are not a third word country that lacks the institutions to put you in your place… or out of office.

Photo | theimaginativeconservative

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Old Abe Couldn’t Agree With You More!

November 22, 2016 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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Photo | historynewsnetwork.org

Filed Under: featured, satire

How To Get Through Thanksgiving Dinner

November 20, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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OK. So you are dreading Thanksgiving dinner with your family for the first time in your life. The idea of sitting around a table for three hours with a family of Trumpites is making you sick. Instead of looking forward to some of your favorite foods you are dreading the ribbing you will surely be subjected to.

At a time like this, it is best to heed the sound advice offered in the movie classic, Animal House.

After Delta Tau Chi pledge Kent Dorfman (Flounder) foolishly agrees to let his fraternity brothers use his brand new Lincoln for a road trip (after it had been entrusted to him by his brother for the weekend), he starts sobbing like a baby when he later sees the car is a wreck. In an effort to soothe Flounder’s feelings, Delta brother John Blutarksy (Bluto) thrusts a six-pack into his hands and offers up these immortal words:

“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”

Some heavy drinking is just what’s called for this Thanksgiving. Instead of going for the turkey, try hitting the Tangueray. You are guaranteed to forget your woes and, for a short time at least, forget that Donald Trump is our president-elect.

Animal House’s brother Bluto was so right. What’s the use of crying over spilled milk? The election is over. The damage has been done. There is nothing you can do but accept it. So let your family gloat about their man. Once properly plastered, nothing will matter as nothing will register.

Then it will be on to next Thanksgiving when all the talk will be about our new president, Mike Pence.

Photo | youtube.com

Filed Under: featured, satire

Donald Trump, Fake News And The Death Of “The Truth”

November 19, 2016 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

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Anyone who has ever witnessed a courtroom trial is familiar with the question: “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” It is the oath a witness is sworn to take before being asked to testify. Discovering “the truth,” after all, is the basic goal of our judicial system. If a witness, under oath, lies to the court, they can be found guilty of perjury and sentenced to jail time. “The truth” reigns supreme inside the halls of justice.

But outside the courthouse? “The truth” has come under serious assault.

Thanks to the candidacy of Donald Trump, “ the truth” no longer has the primacy it once had. Thanks to fake news sources and the increasing popularity of social media such as Facebook, “the truth” is whatever a writer wants it to be.

One would think that in the age of the Internet and Google, “the truth” would be such an easy thing to ascertain. But as we are seeing, many Americans are too lazy to do their homework. It is much easier to believe a favored politician, or “news source,” than to do some fact-checking of one’s own.

Just yesterday, Vice President-elect Mike Pence was booed at a Broadway play. The cast of the hit musical Hamilton asked Pence, who was sitting in the audience of their show, to make sure both he and Trump safeguard their constitutional rights.

As soon as Trump got wind of the situation, he immediately took to his bully pulpit, otherwise known as Twitter, and condemned the cast for their “rude” speech:

“Our wonderful future V.P. Mike Pence was harassed last night at the theater by the cast of Hamilton, cameras blazing. This should not happen!”

“The Theater must always be a safe and special place. The cast of Hamilton was very rude last night to a very good man, Mike Pence. Apologize!”  

Now if someone were to take Trump’s words as “true,” without reading what was actually said, they might come away thinking a Broadway theater is no place to attack an incoming vice president. They would rightly be angry with those liberal performers for embarrassing the “good man.”

But if those Trump believers were to dig into the situation just a little, they would see a completely different picture. Here is what was actually said to Pence … a far cry from “rude” speech:

“Vice President-elect Pence, we welcome you and we truly thank you for joining us at ‘Hamilton: An American Musical.’ ”

“We are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights, sir. We hope this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and work on behalf of all of us.”

We are truly entering dangerous times if “the truth” is only respected and revered in a court of law under penalty of perjury.

Photo | linkedin.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

Remember When It Was Going To Be Bush vs. Clinton?

November 15, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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At the start of the 2016 presidential race, there was widespread speculation our nation was headed towards a contest between two political dynasties. It was going to be Bush vs. Clinton. But this time it would be Jeb Bush taking on Hillary Clinton.

The Republican and Democratic establishments seemed to have had their dream matchup. Jeb Bush was the moderate conservative and the only twice-elected governor of the important swing state of Florida. Hillary Clinton was the Democrat with the most political experience having served as First Lady, New York senator for two terms and Secretary of State.

In a wide-open primary, Republicans fielded a team of 17 mostly experienced, career politicians. But neither the establishment favorite, Jeb Bush, nor any of the other “Inside the Beltway” types caught on with the Republican base quite like the outsider Donald Trump.

Trump talked about the corruption and incompetence within our political system. He told voters he was the only one who could fix the mess in Washington D.C. because he alone was above “politics as usual.” He would be a president beholden to no one as he, a billionaire, was self-funding his campaign.

Though they tried to thwart his presidential run, we know Trump went on to obliterate his competition in the primary and was selected the Republican Party’s presidential nominee at their convention in July.

The Democrats, on the other hand, only had five candidates seeking their party’s presidential nomination. Clinton was such an odds-on favorite of becoming the Democratic Party’s nominee that only Bernie Sanders, Martin O’Malley, Jim Webb and Lincoln Chafee challenged the heir apparent. The Democratic contest soon turned into Clinton versus Sanders.

Unlike the level playing field on the Republican side, the Democratic Party was hell-bent on seeing their favored candidate, Hillary Clinton, win the primary. Hacked emails from the Democratic National Committee (DNC), published by Wikileaks, showed chairwoman, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, and her committee members doing all they could to stymie Sanders and tilt the nomination towards Clinton.

As their primary dragged on, the Republican Party reluctantly learned the presidential contest of 2016 was shaping up as a “change election.” There was no stopping what their voting base wanted. And they wanted the political maverick, Donald Trump.

The Democrats didn’t realize, or want to acknowledge, a revolution was also taking place with their very own party. The wild enthusiasm generated by Bernie Sanders was a clear signal that liberals and progressives were also sick of politics as usual.

Could the Democratic Party have nominated someone more of a political insider than Hillary Clinton? A person who has been a political figure on the national stage for nearly 25 years? Justly or not, with Clinton it seemed like one scandal after another. As a result, her unfavorability ratings almost matched Trump’s.

A large chunk of the Democratic base tried to tell their party they were suffering from “Clinton fatigue.” But no one was listening. Many Democrats were so offended by the DNC playing favorites in the primary that they vowed to either skip the election, vote third party or vote Trump. But no one took them seriously.

Democrats are quick to point out that Trump’s presidency is a product of the Republican’s own evil doings.

The truth is that by pushing a deeply flawed candidate like Hillary Clinton from the get go, and then thwarting the growing momentum of the Sanders’ revolution, President Trump is as much a creation of the Democratic Party.

Photo | yalibnan.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion

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