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The Great State Texas Now Wants To Imitate Great Britain

June 27, 2016 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

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After the United Kingdom voted to escape the yoke of the European Union (EU), it didn’t take long for Texas wacko birds to also want to fly the coop.

What had been dubbed “Brexit” (British exit from the EU) has now given rise to “Texit,” the Lone Star State’s long fascination to secede from the United States.

Daniel Miller, president of the Texas Nationalist Movement, said, “The vast majority of the laws, rules and regulations that affect the people of Texas are created by the political class or unelected bureaucrats in Washington.”

Unfortunately for Miller and his band of secessionists, the UK’s relationship with the EU is not the same as Texas’ status as a state within the United States. When the Confederacy (of which Texas was a part) surrendered at Appomattox in 1865, the idea of secession was also defeated. The Union’s victory set a precedent that states could not legally secede.

“This is a myth,” insists Miller. “ Texas does not need permission from the federal government to conduct a referendum and exit the union. The United States Constitution is silent on the matter which, through the 10th Amendment, reserves that power to the people of Texas.”

The fact that secession is a non-starter has not stopped Texas Republican Party delegates from recently debating whether or not to add secessionist language to the party’s platform.

The Texas Nationalist Movement has formally called on the Texas governor to support a similar up or down vote for Texans, akin to the UK’s. The office of Gov. Greg Abbott has yet to comment.

While a great number of Americans would be more than happy to give Texas back its independence, it is clear the only way for such a split to happen would be, not through the ballot box, but through armed insurrection.

Ironically, the secessionists would have to resort to “second amendment remedies” granted in a constitution they refuse to be bound by.

Photo| dailymail.co.uk

Filed Under: featured, politics

After Consulting With Family Checkbook, Rubio will Seek Reelection

June 22, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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During his run for the Republican presidential nomination, Florida Senator Marco Rubio made it clear it was the White House or bust. If he failed in his effort to win the presidency, he would not seek reelection to a job that, quite frankly, he hated.

“I don’t know that ‘hate’ is the right word,” Rubio was quoted as saying during his primary run. “I’m frustrated… That’s why I’m missing votes. Because I am leaving the Senate. I am not running for reelection.”

Rubio’s resolve to leave the Senate showed signs of cracking last week.

“I’ll go home later this week, I’ll have some time with my family,” Rubio told reporters in the Capitol. “If there’s been a change in our status, I’ll be sure to let everyone know.”

Today, Rubio has let us know. He will run for reelection to the Senate after all.

Rubio, according to recent polls, is the strongest Republican in a potential race against the Democrats’ strongest candidate, Rep. Patrick Murphy, in a contest that could very well decide control of the Senate.

With his 180-degree turn, Rubio confirmed what many observers suspected… he would not give up one of the most coveted, cushiest jobs in the country.

A United States Senator earns a base pay of $174, 000. But that is just the beginning of a sweet gig. Add in health insurance, retirement benefits, allowances for a personal staff of anywhere from 26 to 60, expense allowances and a generous foreign travel allowance, you have one helluva package.

But the best part about the job, as we have seen over the past eight years, is that you collect all those benefits for virtually doing nothing!

If Rubio does secure his party’s nomination, his Democratic challenger will be either Patrick Murphy or Alan Grayson.

I am pulling for a Little Marco – Big Alan matchup.

Photo | thehill.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics

Hostage Standoff Ends … Trump And GOP Come To Terms

June 20, 2016 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

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After weeks of intense negotiations, Donald Trump and a large contingent of attorneys representing GOP moneyed interests have struck a deal to free the Republican Party from it’s cagey captor, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee.

Reports have put the total ransom paid at $150 million.

“ We feel the amount paid is a reasonable sum to get our party back,” said attorney Miles Farnsworth. “We knew, going in, it would take a large number to get Mr. Trump to relinquish his hold on our beloved GOP. We are all truly grateful we were able to successfully end – without bloodshed – the first hostage situation involving a national political party in our nation’s history.”

Sources familiar with the negotiations are reporting Trump’s original demand to end the crisis was $5 billion.

Said Farnsworth,” We were all aware of Trump’s negotiating tactics: start absurdly high and work your way down to the realm of reality. My team and I all made sure to read up on Trump’s “The Art of the Steal.”

The breaking news confirms widely held suspicions Trump kidnapped the Republican Party as part of a master plan to secure enough money from GOP moneymen to launch his own media empire. (So You Still Think Trump Wants To Be Prez?)

“ I think we got off cheap,” said the always joyful RNC Chairman, Reince Priebus. “We now can get back to the business of picking a true conservative candidate who will lead our party back to the White House in November.”

Not all Republicans, however, are as optimistic as the Chairman.

Bobby Jindal, a former presidential candidate who famously called his party the “stupid party,” thinks it was a mistake to rescue the party from Trump.

“Look,” said Jindal,”Trump has done so much harm to our party by holding it captive for so long I do not believe we can ever restore it to its former glory… at least not by November.”

“Our party is now damaged goods,” Jindal went on to say. “The smart move would have been to not pay the ransom. What’s the point? The devastation done to our party, I believe, is irreperable.”

“We would have been better off saving the $150 million, letting Trump kill the party as he threatened and just create a new party starting next year. Heck, we are going to lose this election no matter what we do or who we pick as our nominee!”

For all the incompetence displayed by Jindal while governor of Louisiana, the man can sometimes make a lot of sense.

Illustration | Pat Bagley-TheSaltLakeTribune

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire

Happy Father’s Day, Barack And Donald!

June 19, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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Donald Trump: “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps, I would be dating her.”

President Obama: “As the father of two young daughters, I know that being a father is one of the most important jobs any man can have.”

‘Nuff said.

Photos | politicususa.com; Pete Souza/The White House via AP

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized

So You Still Think Trump Wants To Be Prez?

June 17, 2016 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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This past week, after the horror in Orlando, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee called President Obama an ISIS sympathizer. He then followed that up with telling Republican Party leaders who criticized him to either support him or shut up. He’ll run his own damn campaign, thank you!

Hardly the actions of a serious presidential candidate, ya think?

To the chagrin of the GOP establishment, Trump remains stuck in primary election mode. There is no modulating his divisive rhetoric to appeal to a broader general election populace. With the most recent ABC News/ Washington Post poll showing Trump is disliked by 70% of all American voters, can there still be any question about Trump’s true desire to be our nation’s next Commander in Chief?

Yesterday, Vanity Fair put out a report that could very well make sense out of this whole mishegoss.

“Trump is indeed considering creating his own media business, built on the audience that has supported him thus far in his bid to become the next president of the United States,” said Vanity Fair writer, Sarah Ellison.

Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, and owner of The New York Observer, was quoted as saying, “We’ve triggered a base of the population that hasn’t had a voice in a long time.”

That Trump wants to create Trump TV by making sure the inevitable happens in November makes perfect sense and explains why the former TV reality star is acting in the most “unpresidential” manner that he can. He wants to keep that 30% of the American public who support him entertained and primed to back his next business venture.

Of course, Hope Hicks, Trump’s spokeswoman, vehemently denied such a thing.

“There is absolutely no truth to this whatsoever,” said Hicks. “This hasn’t been even uttered. Not even thought about.” Such a strong denial from the Trump camp can only mean one thing … there is an element of truth to the story.

Whether or not Trump is crazy enough to try to establish his own media empire, ala Rupert Murdoch, after his landslide loss, he surely is not crazy enough to give up all the perks and luxuries he currently enjoys for the god-awful task of actually governing! Does Trump, and his lovely wife, Melania, really want to step-down from gilded penthouses to the relative spartan White House? Would you?

Photo |conservativetribune.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics

Get Ready For A New Political Party – Trump’s White Party

June 16, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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After locking up the Republican Party’s presidential nomination, Trump promised, and GOP elites believed, he would act “more presidential.” He would now tone down the hateful rhetoric used to vanquish his 16 primary opponents. He would stop his brutal attacks against Hispanics, blacks and women. He would somehow unite the party.

The most powerful elected Republican, House Speaker Paul Ryan, bought the line, as did many powerful members of the donor class.

The new softer, gentler Trump never emerged, however. He has stuck to the same maliciousness used during the primary campaign.

In a new ABC News/ Washington Post poll, Trump’s previously high unfavorable ratings shot up to a new staggering level: 70% of Americans have an unfavorable view of the Republican nominee.

The poll, conducted June 8-12 among 1,000 adults, showed 77% of women held an unfavorable view of the purported “billionaire.”

Trump also had devastatingly high unfavorable ratings among African-Americans (94%) and Latinos (89%).

With numbers like those, Trump stands no chance of winning the presidency.

Why would Trump continue his divisive ways? Why wouldn’t he take the advice of his party’s elders and pivot into a more appealing general election candidate?

The answer is obvious. He does not want to be president. Or more preciously, he knows he cannot be elected president.

I believe what Trump is doing, now that he’s hijacked the Republican Party, is using it as a vehicle to lay the groundwork for a new political party he will head. The party will be made up of mostly white, angry, blue-collar voters. The White Nationalist Party might be a suitable name.

Trump is not adopting a more measured tone as the GOP presidential nominee because he does not want to alienate his ardent followers who will stick with him no matter what. They like their man just the way he is: irreverent, obnoxious, bigoted, politically incorrect and dictatorial.

It is hard to believe but the purported Republican presidential nominee has been able to seriously play Republicans for the suckers they are.

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized

Bee Gees Foretold Trump’s Presidential Bid In Hit Single

June 15, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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          I started a joke which started the whole world crying

         But I didn’t see that the joke was on me – “I Started A Joke,” Bee Gees

For those of you old enough to remember, the Bee Gees had a hit single in 1968 entitled, “I Started A Joke.” The song is best known for its haunting melody and perplexing lyrics.

When Robin Gibb, the song’s lead vocalist, was asked to explain the meaning of the tune, he answered, “The listeners have to interpret it themselves, trying to explain it would detract from the song.”

I always felt the song was about unintended consequences. But lately I’ve come to realize, while partially right, the song was a musical forewarning of Donald Trump’s presidential bid.

No, Donald Trump did not start his bid to become the Republican Party’s presidential nominee as a joke (although some may disagree here). I believe Trump saw the presidential race as an inexpensive, surefire way to promote his brand. This view is actually confirmed by many former Trump campaign staffers who admit Trump just hoped for a good showing in the primary.

To almost every political analyst’s amazement, Trump’s racist, divisive, hate filled message resonated with the bulk of Republican voters. The Republican establishment, who never took Trump’s run seriously, is now looking at Donald J. Trump as their party’s presumptive presidential nominee.

But the joke isn’t only on the Grand Old Party; it is also on Trump himself.

Trump’s ego has so gotten the better of him that he is now doing the opposite of what got him into the presidential race in the first place. He is severely damaging the Trump name.

What Trump has worked so hard at doing, i.e. promoting the Trump brand to be synonymous with class, luxury, and glitz, has gone up in smoke in only a matter of months. The Trump name is now more associated with bigotry, stupidity and lack of sophistication.

Ego can get the better of us, sometimes; especially for a narcissistic con man like Trump.

The Bee Gees had another hit single much later in their career that also foretold of how Trump would con his way to the top of the Republican heap … “Jive Talkin”.

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Photo | smoothradio.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized

Thanks To Trump, Racism Has Gone From Concealed to “Open Carry”

June 12, 2016 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

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Racism has been a plague on our nation from its founding. It has flared and ebbed over the years. It has been directed at different groups, at different times, but it has always been passed down from generation to generation to ensure its ugliness never dies. A child has to learn to be racist.

Despite the fairy tale told by Chief Justice John Roberts nearly three years ago, when he sought to justify the striking down of the key component of the Voting Rights Act, racism in our country is far from a thing of the past.

“Our country has changed,” Roberts wrote in his opinion, Shelby County v. Holder. It has wiped away so much of its racist past that the “extraordinary measures” employed by a key provision of the Voting Rights Act could no longer be justified.

The very next day, after this “extraordinarily” horrid decision, states that had been covered by the Act started proposing legislation to make it harder for certain folks, mostly the poor and African-Americans, to exercise their constitutional right to vote!

What’s truly astounding is that nearly a half dozen states immediately moved ahead with restrictive voter ID laws, some of which had already been rejected as discriminatory under the Voting Rights Act!

You didn’t have to be a constitutional scholar to know what an abomination the Supreme Court’s decision was.

But it wasn’t until the emergence of Donald J. Trump that we truly discovered exactly how wrong was the Court.

Donald Trump launched his bid for the presidency by labeling Mexicans “rapists, criminals and drug dealers.” Of course he did not stop there. His hate speech soon covered Muslims, Asians, and blacks. His rhetoric became so popular with his supporters that he just kept doubling down with his racist rants.

And now he is the presumptive Republican presidential nominee! Even some stalwart Republicans have started to decry Trump’s over-the-top racist rhetoric.

What helped Trump most in securing the Republican nomination was that no other candidate spoke in such pure, overtly racist language. No more dog whistles here! Of course, Trump loyalists just eat up all the bile that emanates from the “billionaire’s” pie hole.

Trump is a man, say his supporters, who “tells it like it is” and who is unconcerned with political correctness. This, apparently, is what the Republican base had been wanting for so long.

It was only a matter of time before Trump supporters felt comfortable enough to show their inner, latent racism. What had been kept in check – concealed – was now on proud display.

Trump, in a real way, signaled it was OK for racists to come out of the closet.

The ‘n’ word has been popping up more frequently on social media and in public discourse lately. Latinos, Muslims and African- Americans are often beaten at Trump rallies for daring to protest the racist hero… all with the blessing of the dear leader.

“If you get sued ‘knocking the crap’ out of protesters,” Trump promised, “I will pay your legal bills.

Hey, if the man who might become our next president thinks it’s all right to call a spade a spade (no pun intended), why shouldn’t I be free to express my sincere, deeply-held hatred?

Donald Trump has single-handedly set back race relations in this country to the 1960s. I fear what he has uncovered and unleashed could take decades to repair … even with the inevitable loss Trump will suffer at the polls in November.

While Trump may soon be removed from the national political stage, his many loyal followers will still be around displaying their newly green-lighted “open carry” racism.

Photo | cnn.com

 

Filed Under: featured, politics

Donald Trump’s “Springtime For Hitler”

June 11, 2016 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

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What happens when you cook up a scheme that will make you some easy money, through failure, but instead, your hoped-for bust turns into a booming success?

Of course I have just described the plot of Mel Brooks’ “The Producers,” a play and movie exploring the hilarious consequences of unintended success.

“The Producers” is the story of two theatrical producers, Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom, who scheme to get rich by setting out to produce the worst play ever written,  getting rich old ladies to back it and then skipping town with the money once the show is a total flop. Complications arise, however, when the play, “Springtime For Hitler,” unexpectedly turns out to be a hit!

I can’t help but think of Herr Trump when I reflect on Brooks’ comedic masterpiece.

I am convinced Donald Trump entered the Republican presidential race as an easy and inexpensive way to promote the Trump brand. He had not intention of seriously contending for the Republican presidential nomination. Trump’s own former strategist, Stephanie Cegielski, confirmed the con.

Said Cegielski, “Trump never intended to be the candidate. But his pride is too out of control to stop him now… What was once Trump’s desire to rank second place to send a message to America and to increase his power as a businessman has nightmarishly morphed into a charade that is poised to do irreparable damage to this country if we do not stop this campaign in its tracks.”

Could Trump have made the non-seriousness of his campaign clearer from day one? No genuine candidate for the presidency has ever kicked off his presidential run by calling Mexicans, “rapists, drug dealers and criminals.”

But a funny thing happened after Trump threw his sombrero into the presidential ring. Instead of his offensive comments costing him support, his poll numbers skyrocketed. And that has been the story all the way up to Trump’s securing enough delegates to become his party’s presumptive nominee.

Like Bialystock and Bloom, Trump failed miserably at failing.

But, in the end, Trump will get his intended result … he will not be president. Intentionally or not, he sabotages his campaign with each passing day. There is hardly any voting bloc left Trump has not dissed or offended.

Unfortunately for Trump, instead of enhancing his brand’s reputation, it has been severely tarnished. Talk about ironic, unintended consequences!

The brand that Trump has fought so hard to make synonymous with luxury, glitz and glamour is now one drenched in bigotry, hatred and exclusion.

Photo | thehardtimes.net

Filed Under: featured, politics

Trump Still Searching For Running Mate After Latest Rejection

June 10, 2016 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Texas U.S. Representative, Louie Gohmert, is the latest Republican to turn down Donald Trump’s offer to be his VP pick. This latest slap in the face has left the Trump campaign in a complete state of chaos.

Gohmert makes the 25th Republican politician to refuse Trump’s rose. Said a Trump spokesman, who requested to remain anonymous, “In our wildest dreams, we did not believe we would ever be in this position.”

The Trump campaign, along with the entire world of political pundits, believed Trump’s first VP pick would grab the chance at being Trump’s number two man… well, woman. Sarah Palin had lobbied hard for a second shot at the second spot but, in the end, she developed a serious case of cold feet.

“I really wanted to do it but I thought I should first check in with my lord and savior for guidance,” said Palin. “He didn’t come out and specifically tell me Donald would lose the presidency but he strongly hinted at that.”

“I really enjoyed campaigning with John last time around,” Palin continued. “I just didn’t think I could take another loss. And anyway, my life is going great! Did you know I am going to have my own Judge Judy-type TV show soon?”

The anonymous Trump spokesman confirmed there would be a new game plan going forward. The list of potential VP picks would now be made up of only non-politicians. The word is that Trump would like another celebrity to join him on the ticket.

Some names that have been rumored to be on Trump’s list are: Joe Pesci, Clint Eastwood and Ted Nugent.

Trump recently stated if he does not find a running mate soon, he would be more than happy not having one.

“Look, I am the smartest person I know. I’ve always worked better alone. Why do I need a VP anyway?” asked Trump. When confronted with the fact that a vice president is required under our Constitution, Trump morphed into his testy self.

“There are a lot of things in the Constitution we do not follow!” bellowed Trump. “Hey, we had a Canadian running for president for god’s sake! This would not even be as close a big deal as that!”

Get ready Joe for that big phone call!

Photo | breitbart.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire

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