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With Trump, Is It Demagoguery Or Just A Case Of Douchebaggery?

January 9, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

A war has been raging among political wonks ever since Donald Trump took the oath of office last January … is he a demagogue or a douchebag?

Demagoguery is defined as an appeal to people that plays on their emotions and prejudices rather than their rational side. It is a manipulative approach — often associated with dictators and sleazy politicians — that appeals to the worst nature of people. Demagoguery isn’t based on reason, issues, and doing the right thing; it’s based on stirring up fear and hatred to control people.

Douchebaggery is described as obnoxious or contemptible behavior. In many cases, it is blatant stupidity and arrogance all rolled into one. In other words, it is the classic definition of a putz.

Demagoguery calls for some level of intelligence to pull off… douchebaggery not so much.

Manipulating people through fear and prejudice requires planning and skill. To piss people off just requires you being an a-hole.

After the release of Michael Wolff’s tell-all book, Fire and Fury, which chronicles the dysfunction within the Trump White House, critics are leaning more towards the view that the man sitting in the Oval Office is just your basic moron. A man-child in control of nuclear weapons.

But why does it have to be a choice between demagoguery and douchebaggery? Are they necessarily mutually exclusive? Can’t both nouns be used for Trump?

This entire controversy is reminiscent of the long-running, and successful, Lite beer TV commercials of the 1970’s. You had a group of guys insisting that the beer’s best quality was that it “tastes great” while an equal group of beer drinkers thought it’s best feature was that it was “less filling.”

Of course, both camps were right.

So Donald Trump can be a demagogue and a douchebag at the same time.

Unfortunately for us, and the world, this is probably the worst combination for a leader. Manipulative and ruthless, as in Machiavellian … and “dumb as a brick”, as in how Michael Wolff describes Ivanka Trump in his controversial book.

Photo | vanityfare.com

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: combination, demagoguery, Donald Trump, douchebaggery, Fire and Fury, Lite beer commercials, Micael Wolff

Donald Trump Is, Like, Really Really Smart!

January 6, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

His alma mater must be so proud!

Donald Trump tweeted today: “Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.”

No doubt Trump’s “smartness” was shaped by the great college education he received at the University of Pennsylvania. In fact, Trump proudly tells people he graduated at the top of his class.

But with all the fine courses Donald Trump undoubtedly took at UPenn, English could not have been part of his curriculum.

When someone says they are “like” something, they are not actually that thing. They are merely imitating or mimicking that thing.

If Trump wanted to say he is a really smart person, he should have said, “I am a really smart person.” Throw in the modifier “like”, well, he’s actually saying he is not really a smart person.

But grammar aside, Donald Trump did go on to tweet he is a genius.

I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star…to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!

Yes, we have a genius in the White House … even though he may not be the best grammarian.

This is so refreshing after eight years of that dullard Obama!

Photo | madmagazine.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, genius, grammar, like, not really smart, really smart, University of Pennsylvania

Trump’s Top 10 “Accomplishments” of 2017

December 30, 2017 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

As we come to the end of 2017, it is time to pick Donald Trump’s top 10 “accomplishments” during his first year in office. While the list of his many presidential firsts is quite extensive, even bordering on the most unprecedented in American history, here are the ones that made the cut:

  1. U.S. no longer seen as the leader of the free world
  2. Has given aid and comfort to white supremacists, KKK, racists, etc.
  3. Further divided an already divided country
  4. Helped engineer the largest tax heist on behalf of billionaires in U.S. history
  5. Has green-lighted Russians to keep meddling in our elections
  6. Installed the most unqualified group of Cabinet secretaries … ever
  7. Pardoned a sheriff who refused to obey a federal court order
  8. Undermined institutions such as the FBI, the judiciary and the free press
  9. Endorsed and defended a sexual predator for U.S. Senate
  10. Scored lowest approval rating of any modern president his first year in office

The hearts of Trump supporters must be swelling with pride over such an impressive list of “accomplishments.” Yet with such an amazing slate of achievements in only his first year, what can we expect in year two?

I’d like to speculate but I’m too afraid to go there!

But take heart as we enter the New Year. Many betting sites are listing the possibility of Trump leaving office by the end of next year, either through impeachment or resignation, at 50-50.

Photo | dailymail.co.uk

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: 2017, accomplishments, achievements, Donald Trump, satire, top 10 list

Moore Will Concede … When God Tells Him To

December 14, 2017 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Two days after having lost the Alabama special election, Republican Roy Moore has yet to concede.

On election night, Moore stated that “when the vote is this close, that it’s not over.” He added he would “wait on God and let this process play out.”

True to form, Moore is letting everyone know whom he answers to. It is not the people of Alabama or their manmade laws. It is the word of the Almighty.

Asked it he would concede after Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill certifies the final vote count, Moore answered in a way that surely will please his Christian conservative base, “Hell no!”

“I get my marching orders from God. Until he tells me to do something, I will wait. He hasn’t told me to throw in the towel yet. I know one thing, God works in mysterious ways,“ said Moore.

Democrat Doug Jones, the newly elected Senator from Alabama, said there was “no doubt” in his mind about the election results. He said Moore would “do well to go ahead and let’s get this behind us.”

Rep. Terri Sewell, D-Alabama, told CNN’s “New Day” yesterday morning that she has the “utmost confidence” Jones “won outright.” She suggested Moore’s refusal to concede was a publicity stunt.

“I’m not sure what his posturing is about, other than it keeps him in the limelight and it keeps him relevant for another week,” Sewell said.

Asked when and how he receives God’s word, Moore answered that the Heavenly Father speaks to him in his sleep, adding new meaning to the phrase “I’ll sleep on it.”

Taking a page from Donald Trump’s playbook, Moore plans to hold a rally in deeply conservative Jefferson County later today.

Yes, God told him to.

“Look,” said Moore, “there’s a saying that it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings. To a Christian, it ain’t over until God pulls the plug.”

Photo | politifact.com

Caution – elements of this article may be satirical!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Alabama, certify election, christian conservatives, concede, Doug Jones, God, loss, Roy Moore, senate race, special election

“God Wants Judge Roy Moore” Video

December 6, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Judge Moore’s latest, most powerful new commercial sure to get him to Washington.

Courtesy of The Spiegel Group/ D.C.Douglas

Photo | truepundit.com

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Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Alabama, commercial, election, God, pedophile, Republicans, Roy Moore, satire, Senate

Roy Moore … The Candidate With An “R” After His Name

December 3, 2017 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

With Alabama’s special election for the U.S. Senate less than 10 days away, it appears Republican Roy Moore is poised for victory. Despite allegations he may be a sexual predator, voters in the Yellowhammer State are rallying around the twice-fired State Supreme Court justice.

In an effort to learn more about why Alabamians are supporting a candidate accused of pedophilia and of disobeying the United States Constitution, the Daily Nooze interviewed retired Tuscaloosa schoolteacher, Sally Sue Scruggs.

DN: “Mrs. Scruggs, you have stated that despite all the allegations against Roy Moore you will still vote for him in the upcoming election. Could you please tell us why?

Scruggs: “As you yourself just said, these are allegations. I don’t believe them. I don’t believe all the women who have come out against Judge Moore. And even if what they say is true, I forgive him. That’s the Christian thing to do.”

DN: “ So there is nothing that would stop you from voting for Mr. Moore?”

Scruggs: “No. My daddy taught me a long time ago that voting is easy. It doesn’t require much thinking. You just have to vote for the candidate with the “R” next to his name.”

DN: “So you would vote for Mr. Moore even if he were, say, a tax cheat or a convicted murderer?”

Scruggs: “I have faith that Judge Moore is not a tax cheat and he is not a convicted murderer.”

DN: “ What if Mr. Moore engaged in necrophilia?”

Scruggs: “The Bible says nothing about that … whatever it is.”

DN: “What if Mr. Moore raped your daughter in the middle of the town square?”

Scruggs: “Which daughter … my 12 year old or my 18 year old?”

With that answer, the interview came to an end.

The latest polls show Roy Moore ahead of Democrat Doug Jones just days before the Dec. 12 election. Even as the controversy around Moore continues, his numbers appear to be climbing.

As Donald Trump bluntly put it, “We don’t need a liberal person in there, a Democrat, Jones. I’ve looked at his record. It’s terrible on crime. It’s terrible on the border. It’s terrible on the military.”

And Roy Moore has an “R” after his name.

Photo | politico.com

Caution – this could be satire!

***The Daily Nooze*** – named #10 top political satire blog by blog.feedspot.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: "R" after his name, Alabama, judge, pedophile, Republican, Roy Moore, satire, sexual predator, special election, United States senate, vote

Sex Scandal Hits The Vatican

November 29, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

At a time when women accusing powerful men of sexual misconduct has turned into a daily ritual, another dominant male has been ensnared in allegations of sexual impropriety going back decades.

Pope Francis has been accused of groping two nuns during his years as a seminary student at the Inmaculada Concepción Seminary, in Villa Devoto, Buenos Aires.

The nuns, who chose to remain anonymous, have told reporters that the Holy Father copped a feel while they were waiting in line to give their weekly confessions at the Catedral Metropolitana, Buenos Aires. The alleged incidents took place in the summer of 1955.

“From out of nowhere I felt a hand squeeze my buttocks” said one of the nuns. The second nun told the same story of a surprise, unwanted touching.

Vatican spokesman, Father Guido Sarducci, issued a statement that neither confirmed nor denied the accusations.

“The Pope does not recall any incidents of improper touching during his years at the seminary. The alleged groping goes back 62 years. One has to ask why the nuns would wait so long to accuse the Vicar of Christ.”

Catholics throughout the world are in shock, not knowing what to make of the allegations. Many are simply praying, “Please say it ain’t so, Papa.”

One powerful male facing sexual misconduct allegations of his own has come to the Pope’s defense … Donald Trump.

“This is ridiculous,” said Trump. “Why would the Pope grope a nun? They are generally very homely. I would say on average a four. Have you ever seen a hot nun except in the movies?”

Father Sarducci went on to say, “Pardon the pun, but the Pope does not make it a habit of forcing himself on nuns or any females for that matter.”

If the allegations are true, expect more nuns to come forward in the days ahead.

It is being rumored that the two nuns accusing the Pope of sexual misconduct have contacted Lisa Bloom, a lawyer famous for representing female victims of sexual harassment and assault.

Photos | courageouschristianfather.com – pinterest.com

Caution – this could be fake news!

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, groping, Lisa Bloom, misconduct, nuns, Pope Francis, satire, sexual allegations, sexual impropriety

Trump Fails U.S. Citizenship Test

October 12, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

According to recent news reports, Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, referred to Trump as a moron.

While Tillerson sought to refute the claim at an impromptu news conference shortly after the story broke, going so far as to refer to his boss as “smart,” he did not specifically deny having called Trump a dumb, stupid moron.

This Tuesday, Trump was quoted by Forbes as saying, “I think it’s fake news, but if he did that, I guess we’ll have to compare IQ tests. And I can tell you who is going to win.”

As of this date, Tillerson has not accepted Trump’s challenge.

Yesterday, a group of recently naturalized citizens issued a challenge of their own to the 45th president of the United States … “Can you pass the U.S. Citizenship Test?”

Trump took the exam and failed miserably, scoring 50% (Six of the ten questions need to be answered correctly to pass).

The self-proclaimed genius has claimed the test was fixed and contained too many trick questions.

Here are the five out of 10 “trick questions” Trump failed to correctly answer:

  1. Who wrote the Declaration of Independence? Instead of answering Thomas Jefferson, Trump answered Abraham Lincoln.
  2. What are the three branches of government? Instead of answering legislative, executive and judicial, Trump answered legislative, executive and military.
  3. Which amendment guarantees freedom of speech? Instead of answering the First Amendment, Trump answered the Second Amendment.
  4. What guarantees a citizen’s right to vote? Instead of answering the Constitution, Trump answered state legislators.
  5. What does separation of church and state mean? Instead of answering the government is prevented from officially recognizing or favoring any religion, Trump answered religion and politics cannot be taught in the same classroom.

According to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, 91% of foreign-born applicants pass the naturalization test. But, in Trump’s defense, they have an unfair advantage … they tend to study.

Photos| tusconsentinal.com, cnn.com

Caution – this could be fake news!

Can you pass the citizenship test? Click here to give it a try.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: citizenship test, Donald Trump, failed, IQ test, moron, Rex Tillerson

The Calm Before The Storm?

October 6, 2017 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Donald Trump spoke of “the calm before the storm” yesterday at a White House dinner for his top military brass. No one knows exactly what he was talking about. Might he simply be predicting the next major hurricane?

Photos| spartanideas.msu.edu. rollingstone.com

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: clam, Donald Trump, storm, White House dinner

Trump Challenges Kim Jong-un To A Game Of Golf

September 12, 2017 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

In an effort to de-escalate tensions between their respective countries, Donald Trump has invited North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, to a friendly game of golf at his Mar-a-Lago resort.

“I’ve always said some of my best deals have been negotiated on the golf course,” boasted Trump. “The fake news media gives me such a hard time with all the golf I’ve played as president. What they don’t tell the American people is that I’m actually working while I’m golfing.”

The idea of using sports to improve relations with an adversary is not new.

When Richard Nixon sought a thaw in American relations with China in the early 1970s, he resorted to table tennis. In what later came to be known as “Ping Pong” diplomacy, the two countries that had not had diplomatic or economic relations for nearly 20 years, finally broke the ice. Nixon’s gambit turned out to be successful, resulting in opening the U.S.-China relationship and leading the U.S. to lift its embargo against the People’s Republic of China on June 10, 1971.

Already Trump’s attempt to find common ground with North Korea through the game of golf is being called “Fairway Finesse.”

Someone on the White House staff brought up the fact that there is only one golf course in North Korea and Kim is not known to be a player. Wouldn’t Trump, a lifelong golfer, embarrass a man who has probably never held a golf club?

“That’s nonsense,” snapped Trump. “From all I hear Kim is a natural athlete, like his father Kim Jong-il. I heard Kim is a big hockey fan … that he played a secret exhibition game with some of the NHL’s biggest stars and notched a Gordie Howe hat trick in his first time on the ice. And he did it while playing goalie!”

Legend has it the elder Kim was perhaps the greatest athlete of his time. It is well documented he shot five holes-in-one in his first try at golf, only to be followed by a perfect 300 game in bowling … on the same day!

Whether Kim takes Trump up on his offer remains to be seen. But, in an encouraging sign,  it is being reported that the legendary golf instructor, Butch Harmon, will be accompanying Kim’s good friend, Dennis Rodman, on his visit to North Korea next week.

The Pentagon, as the entire world, is hoping Kim accepts Trump’s invitation so that our skilled golfer and negotiator-in-chief can work his magic in getting North Korea to give up its nuclear program, making our world that much safer.

Asked for further comment, Trump said, “We’ll see what happens.”

Photo | express.co.uk

Caution – this could be fake news!

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, golf, Kim Jong-un, north korea, nuclear program

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