The Daily Nooze

"All the news we deem fit to print"

  • Home
  • politics
  • satire
  • breaking news
  • Archives
  • Show Your Support
  • Opinion
You are here: Home / Archives for Uncategorized

Trump’s Seditionists Include Both The Poorly Educated And The Highly Educated

January 8, 2021 By John DeProspo 8 Comments

We all know a good chunk of Trump supporters aren’t very bright. One might say they’re not the sharpest tools in the shed.

During Wednesday’s storming of the U.S. Capitol by the MAGA mob, many were seemingly unaware they were committing a crime. They thought of themselves as patriots. They entered the building maskless, making themselves easily identifiable. They posted to social media photos and videos of themselves breaking the law. Really, how dumb can one be!

Some are already facing immediate consequences for their actions such as being fired from their jobs.  And in the not-too-distant future, many will be arrested and charged with a whole host of crimes, including: seditious conspiracy, damage to federal property, use of explosives, crossing state lines to commit a crime … just to name a few.

As abhorrent as those ill-informed and misguided seditionists may be, they occupy a lower rung on the ladder of despicableness than those more intelligent traitors who know better than to try and subvert the workings of our democracy.

Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz are two United States senators with impeccable educational pedigrees. Both brag of their education as constitutional lawyers — Cruz at Harvard, Hawley at Yale. 

Both Hawley and Cruz know that their attempt to stop the certification of the Electoral College vote count, making Joe Biden president, was against the Constitution. They both know that Trump’s false claims of election fraud went nowhere in the courts, even when they came before judges Trump appointed.

Yet the two Ivy Leaguers have been blinded by raw ambition. Both have their sights set on the 2024 presidential race. Each wants to be the heir to Trump’s rabid base.

Their votes on Wednesday to overturn the results of the Electoral College were made even more loathsome as they came after many of their fellow Republican senators backed down from challenging after the mob of rioters stormed the Capitol, forcing evacuations.

While many on both sides of the aisle are blaming Hawley and Cruz for helping to foment the destructive riot … with some even calling for their resignations … will they pay a price like the one being paid by the more poorly educated MAGA crowd?

Yes, it’s just quite possible. Hawley’s hometown newspaper, The Kansas City Star, issued an editorial accusing him of having blood on his hands. The Dallas Morning News denounced Cruz for abetting sedition and inspiring pro-Trump rioters by resisting Biden’s victory. 

Of course, it’s just as possible Hawley and Cruz’s disgraceful gambits may carry them to the front of the line of possible Republican presidential contenders in 2024.

Photo | nationalreview.com

Filed Under: featured, politics, Uncategorized Tagged With: highly educated, Josh Hawley, pay a price, poorly educated, riot, sedition, seditionists, Ted Cruz, traitors, U.S. Capital

20 Questions to Ponder While You Shelter In Place

March 22, 2020 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Now that we have been relegated to the confines our homes because of the coronavirus outbreak, it’s as good a time as any to spend time thinking about the great mysteries of our time. Below is a list of the top 20 quandaries you should ponder during this time of forced solitude that will help keep you from developing cabin fever:

  1. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  2. Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
  3. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  4. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  5. Why is it so hard to remember how to spell ‘mnemonic’?
  6. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
  7. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
  8. How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
  9. Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
  10. Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
  11. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  12. Is there another word for thesaurus?
  13. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
  14. How can a cemetery raise its burial cost and blame it on the cost of living?
  15. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  16. Is grass really greener on the other side?
  17. If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?
  18. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  19. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  20. Why do so many working-class people keep voting against their own economic self-interest?

Seriously, pondering these difficult questions will help you pass the time and guard against your brain turning into mush.

Hey, without a sense of humor, we are lost!

Photo | amcnetworks.com

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: 20 questions to think about, coronavirus, covid-19, funny, humor, pass the time, shelter in place

And You Wonder How A Donald Trump Could Get Elected?

February 28, 2020 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

Let’s face it.  Americans just aren’t as sharp as they used to be.

Perhaps after years of cutting school funding, and the homeschooling craze, the nation is now reaping its tragic, yet predictable, rewards.

According to a recent survey of beer drinkers, Foxbusiness.com is reporting that nearly 40% said they are avoiding drinking Corona beer over fears of the coronavirus!

Over the past few weeks, there has been an uptick in Google searches for “corona beer virus” and “beer coronavirus,” according to SEMrush, a trends data provider.

In related news, the stock price of Constellation Brands Inc., maker of Corona beer, is taking a major hit over the obvious confusion.

And now, some erstwhile, unemployed satirist is wondering how long it will take for Donald Trump to blame the coronavirus on Mexico and call for a complete boycott of all Mexican products until this “whole Corona virus thing is sorted out.”

Did you know that in a recent survey 4 percent of 18-to-24-year-olds said they actually believe the world is flat; 9 percent said they had always believed the world was round but were recently having doubts, 5 percent said they had always believed the world was flat but were becoming skeptical of that conclusion and 16 percent just weren’t sure!

American exceptionalism!

Photo | parley.tv

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: beer drinkers, confusion, Corona beer, coronavirus, Mexico, Survey

A D.C. Christmas Poem

December 21, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the House

Not a representative was stirring, having gone home to a spouse

The votes had been taken and counted with care

To impeach “the imposter,” the pretend billionaire

They returned to their districts to explain what they’d done

Said Nancy to members, “no gloating, no fun”

While Democrats performed their mandated duty

Republicans trashed the Dems, acting all snooty

They defended their leader with passion and glee

Facts be damned for the Reps from Tennessee

They asked, “So what if he asked Zelensky a favor?”

That certainly didn’t rise to impeachable behavior!

His protectors insisted no “quid pro quo”

Even as Trump asked, “Do us a favor, though”

It was a “perfect call” they in unison said

While visions of McConnell danced in their heads

The “Grim Reaper” would save them, of this they all knew

It didn’t matter what high crimes and misdemeanors the Dems did pursue

The fix in the Senate was made oh so clear

Not only by old Mitch but Miss Lindsey, oh dear!

So now we must wait for the start of 2020

To hold a Senate trial, or maybe not any

One thing’s for certain as we look to next year

The ride will be bumpier than we can imagine, I fear

If there’s one hope for all of us Dems

It’s that some patriotic Republican senators will in fact Trump condemn

And even though he might remain in his office

A majority of the Senate may denounce Trump as lawless.

So do not fear, Dems, for having done what was right

Your conscience is clear

“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

By John DeProspo

Photo | rd.com

Filed Under: featured, politics, Uncategorized Tagged With: "Twas the night before Christmas, Christmas poem, Democrats, Donald Trump, impeachment

A Question No Spouse Should Have To Answer!

June 2, 2018 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Following the receipt of Kim Jong-un’s letter, Melania is nowhere to be found. Coincidence?

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: Donald Trump, envelope, hands. small, Kim Jong-un, Melania

Philip’s Complaint … We Have A “Humanly Impoverished” President

May 28, 2018 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Philip Roth passed away last week at the age of 85.

Arguably one of America’s more prolific and respected writers, Roth had a way with words. So when he was asked to talk about the Trump presidency, he did not disappoint.

Beginning with his own political odyssey, Roth observed:

I was born in 1933, the year that F.D.R was inaugurated. He was president until I was 12 years old. I’ve been a Roosevelt Democrat ever since. I found much that was alarming about being a citizen during the tenures of Richard Nixon and George W. Bush. But, whatever I may have seen as their limitations of character or intellect, neither was anything like as humanly impoverished as Trump is: ignorant of government, of history, of science, of philosophy, of art, incapable of expressing or recognizing subtlety or nuance, destitute of all decency, and wielding a vocabulary of seventy-seven words that is better called Jerkish than English.

The prize-winning writer had some serious advice for today’s writers and journalists. He admonished them to continue to use their right to freedom of speech and press as much as possible to combat Trump’s lies and threats to these rights.

Referring to his 2004 book “The Plot Against America,” in which he eerily describes a scheme by a foreign government to destabilize American democracy, Roth said:

As for how Trump threatens us, I would say that, like the anxious and fear-ridden families in my book, what is most terrifying is that he makes any and everything possible, including, of course, the nuclear catastrophe.

Yes, Trump has so lowered the bar for what it takes to be elected to the highest office in the land that the old adage any American can become president is, regrettably, no longer wistful hyperbole.

Photo | erienewsnow.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: democracy, Donald Trump, humanly impoverished president, Philip Roth, Trump threat

White House Geniuses

May 4, 2018 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

The gang that can’t get their story straight.

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: Donlad Trump, Rudy Giuliani

U.S. Drug Makers – Sticking It To The American Consumer Both Coming … and Going

October 26, 2017 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

The American pharmaceutical industry is a multi-billion juggernaut, unparalleled in its marketing prowess. No other commercial enterprise, not even Tech, comes close to creating a need for its products.

For drug companies, if there isn’t an illness that needs “treatment,” they create one, or more precisely, resort to “disease mongering,” where drug companies deliberately enlarge the market for a product by convincing people that they’re sick and need their product.

Does anyone remember the RLS (restless leg syndrome) ads of the early 2000’s?

The United States currently has an opioid abuse problem. Many are pointing the finger at the pharmaceutical industry’s insatiable greed at the expense of public health and safety.

A good number of watchdog groups are saying much of today’s opioid epidemic stems from the aggressive marketing tactics used by pharmaceutical companies over the past two decades. According to the New Yorker, companies such as Endo Pharmaceuticals, Purdue Pharma and Johnson & Johnson centered their marketing campaigns on the use of opioids as all-purpose pain treatment medications, downplaying their addictive nature.

But did you know one of the other side effects of opioid abuse is OIC (opioid-induced constipation)?

Unless you live in a cave or have sworn off TV altogether, you no doubt have seen the ads for Movantik.

You know, the ones featuring Frank, a construction worker who is prescribed opioids after suffering a really bad back injury and whose daily pill popping has caused him to get “backed up, big time.” It’s only after he sees his doctor who asks him “how long have you been holding this in” that he finally gets the relief (release) he needs. Yep, she prescribes Movantik!

Drug companies are notorious for pushing harmful products and paying hefty fines after being caught by regulators. To them, what usually amounts to a slap on the wrist is just the cost of doing business. The big bucks are still there to be made.

It is a well-known fact that abusing painkillers can lead to addiction … and constipation. But at least with Movantik, that “number two” problem is now solved!

American drug makers…solving problems that they helped create. Genius!

With their direct role in the opioid crisis, it seems as if America’s legal drug dealers have the consumer both coming … and going.

Photo | youtube.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: drug makers, opioid abuse, opioid problem, opioid-induced constipation, pharmaceutical companies

Knowledge Is Good, But Ignorance Is ….

July 11, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

How far we have come! In only a few short years, we have reached a point where a majority of Republicans think higher education is bad for the country. In a recent Pew Research Center survey, 58% believe institutions of higher learning have a negative impact on the state of our union. It was only 2015 when 54% of Republicans said “colleges and universities had a positive impact on the way things were going in the country.”

Could it be that Republicans believe a “liberal arts” education is somehow synonymous with a liberal political mindset?

Could it be the logical result of a current Republican party that has always been fond of anti-intellectualism?

Could it be conservative Christians, who make up the heart of the Republican base, just protecting their “magical-thinking” turf?

Whatever the reason, our country is in a deep pile of fecal matter.

Knowledge may be good, but ignorance is bliss.

The United States must surely be one of the happiest countries on earth! Sad.

Photo | nonprofithub.com

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: bliss, Faber College, higher education, ignorance, knowledge, Pew Research Center, Survey

Ham Fails To Bring Home The Bacon For Small Kentucky Town

June 24, 2017 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Ken Ham, the staunch creationist who believes the earth is only 6000 years old, is in a bind.

The Australian fundamentalist who convinced the good people of Williamstown, Kentucky (pop. approx. 4000) that a Bible-based theme park built around a gigantic replica of Noah’s Ark would be their ticket to prosperity, now has some splainin to do.

You see, it came to pass that Ham and his associates were offered $62 million in junk bonds by the struggling town if they built the boat in their backyard. Grant County (which Williamstown is in) gave Ham’s team 98 acres of land for $1. No, that is not a typo. One dollar.

When the theme park finally opened on July 7, 2016, the price tag for the big bucket was a whopping $102 million.

But the attraction, called Ark Encounter, has not lived up to Ham’s hype or the promise of economic revival for the people of Williamstown.

Steve Wood, a local official, admits, “… a year after the Ark opened, downtown Williamstown, about two miles from the tourist attraction, still isn’t much more than a collection of resale and ‘antiques’ shops and shuttered storefronts.”

Unlike the great movie parable, Kevin Costner’s Field of Dreams (build it and they will come), the Ark was built but the hordes of tourists did not show.

So getting back to Ham’s dilemma … who should the man who grew up reading Genesis as history, blame for his failure. God?

No, this is not a case of Ham looking upward and asking ” My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Ham is lashing out at atheists and the media for his theme park’s underwhelming performance.

“Recently, a number of articles in the mainstream media, on blogs, and on well-known secularist group websites have attempted to spread propaganda to brainwash the public into thinking our Ark Encounter attraction is a dismal failure,” Ham wrote in a blog post on June 12. “Sadly, they are influencing business investors and others in such a negative way that they may prevent Grant County, Kentucky, from achieving the economic recovery that its officials and residents have been seeking.”

Taking a page from our president, Ham believes the park’s woes are due to “fake news.”

“Nowadays, it seems very few reporters in the secular media actually want to report facts regarding what they cover as news,” he continued. “When it comes to reporting on theologically conservative Christians like those of us at [Answers in Genesis], whose ideology they strongly oppose, many writers have an agenda to undermine Christianity as they file their stories.”

Perhaps it never occurred to Ham that non-believers were never going to be attracted to a mythical structure that, according to him, had dinosaurs as cargo. Maybe it was a case of overselling a project (again Trumpian) that just isn’t attracting enough fundamentalist like himself to make the whole thing viable. Perhaps it was just a bad idea.

Nah, like Trump, once again, it is always easier to blame others for your screwups.

Photo | ascienceenthusiast.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • …
  • 11
  • Next Page »

Recent Posts

What If Trump Had Not Accepted Biden’s Offer For An Early Debate?

Many political analysts love to talk about the two pivotal moments in the 2024 … [Read More...]

  • Republicans Sound The Alarm: Harris Administration Could Threaten to Pass Laws Most Americans Actually Want
  • Some Republicans Worried Country Not Ready to Elect First Convicted Felon as President
  • The GOP Is Stuck With Two Losers

Follow us online

  • Facebook

Advertisements

Navigation

  • About Us
  • Show Your Support
  • Guest Posts
  • Great Links
  • Contact

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Copyright © 2025 The Daily Nooze.com. All Rights Reserved. "All the news we deem fit to print"™