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Republican Strategist Comes Up With Best Metaphor For Trump’s Oval Office Speech

January 9, 2019 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

Rick Wilson, the Republican strategist, is horrified at what his party has become under Donald Trump. A frequent critic of the man who hijacked his party, Wilson is the author of Everything Trump Touches Dies: A Republican Strategist Gets Real About the Worst President Ever.

A veritable wordsmith, Wilson heard Trump’s Oval Office address last night and couldn’t help himself … he let it rip.

Following is his opinion piece in today’s Daily Beast:

Donald Trump Delivers A Wet Fart Oval Office Address

Donald Trump has been a political escape artist since the beginnings of his shady, scummy, shiftless life. From his spurious (see what I did there?) evasion of the Vietnam War draft to his serial bankruptcies and business failures, his wrecked marriages, and his current reign of misrule, Donald Trump’s ability to detonate a media IED to distract from his troubles has always served him well. Whenever there’s trouble from some Trump outrage, he never apologizes, never corrects his behavior and never, ever goes forth and sins no more. Instead, he deliberately creates some larger outrage, tossing red meat to a media always eager to chase it.

That was the Trump shutdown from the beginning, and the reason for his manic insistence on “The Wall” scam as its justification.

On Tuesday night, Trump’s flaming dumpster train of distractions, lies, cons, and empty political promises flew off the rails and plunged into a mountain of burning tires in one of his worst public speeches.

After 17 days of a government-shutdown temper tantrum, Trump needed a game-changing home run of a speech to change the political climate in D.C. He failed.

This speech wasn’t about saving his utterly fake wall. The $5.7 billion he’s demanded as his vig for ending the shutdown isn’t even close to being seriously considered, and this speech was an overt admission he’s out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas. The crisis he proudly created will end without a wall, and he knows it.

This speech was supposed to be about forcing the national dialogue to stay on the border wall. No such luck. He reeked of defeat, clearly didn’t want to be there, and it showed.

Trump looked exhausted, squinty, and bored, reading in a near-monotone from the Teleprompter. It went over like a wet fart.

The hysterical Know-Nothing show that flooded America’s airwaves on Tuesday evening was Trumpian boilerplate: Scary immigrants are coming to kill you! Drugs are coming over the border!

The man who gleefully put kids in cages tried to briefly pretend he gives a damn about migrant children in the least convincing humanitarian performance since the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

The dark warning of the dangerous brown tide coming across the border feeds the Breitbart/Fox News base with the same messages they’re getting every day, but it lacked the showmanship and agenda-changing power Trump hoped it would. Even if it had, just keeping the base’s amygdalas stoked doesn’t come close to solving his multiple political problems.

The speech can most accurately be seen as the death twitch of The Wall cult. Trump can’t deliver a product, so he’s looking to sell something different.

He said it tonight; the idea of a glorious concrete wall from the Pacific to the Gulf of Mexico is deader than that lemur he glues on his head every morning. It will, at most, be a fence. This is not what Trump’s supporters voted for. They voted for his sales pitch of a 30-foot concrete wall with laser moats, robot alligators, and minefields, all paid for by Mexico.

Donald Trump, as even the slowest members of the class have now noticed, is a lying liar who lies.

He is a gushing Niagara of lies, a torrential waterfall of deceptions, exaggerations, statistical manglings, and dumbfuck agitprop that insults the intelligence of Americans outside his base. He lies when the truth would suffice. He lies to cover up his own failings and inadequacies (“No, really. Your ruler must be wrong. That’s clearly 9 inches.”) and those lies drag his political supporters and the “conservative” commentariat into increasingly strained and elaborate defenses. Tonight didn’t disappoint when it came to lies of every flavor and scale.

As if readers of The Daily Beast needed reminding, there is no crisis on the border except the one in Donald Trump’s head. The number of immigrants is at an all-time low.

There is no brown wave of thousands of murderous MS-13 killers descending into every big city and small town in the United States. Armies of terrorists do not cross our border with Mexico every week. Drugs like fentanyl come from Mexico in limited amounts, but the vast majority comes from China. These problems exist, but not at a scale to justify either the Wall, Trump’s immigration positions, or creating a constitutional crisis and a government shutdown.

The fevered limbic imaginings of Ann Coulter, Mickey Kaus, Stephen Miller, Rep. Steve King, and the rest of the “we’re totally not racist xenophobes except when it comes to people darker than a Venti triple foam latte” may exist on the pages of Trumpbart and the screens of Fox, but facts are stubborn things, and almost every one of Trump’s “facts” about immigration springs from the minds of people like Coulter and Miller, not reality.

Trump’s speech contained more lies per second than any presidential speech in history, including William Howard Taft’s “I did not devour an entire roast lamb and drink a magnum of gravy to wash it down” speech, or Bill Clinton’s “I was at the gym. That’s just sweat.” classic.

But it notably did not include the declaration of emergency that Trump’s enablers and cheerleaders spent the day preparing to defend.

On the timeline where Trump pulled the trigger on the emergency declaration, we would have seen the nation consumed for weeks or months on litigation at every level, bitter fights of land seizure, a new level of authoritarian madness, and distractions from the economic chaos, and the rising heat in the Mueller investigation. For now, that party is off.

Sure, declaring a national emergency would be seen as a truly dangerous precedent, a big, risky gamble by a crazed political day trader willing to play Russian roulette with wild expansions of executive and federal power to feed the overtly racist elements of his base. In the era of Trump, you’re never off base to bet on the darkest motivations and most evil explanations for his behavior.

Somehow, though, the White House staff and congressional voices convinced Trump at the last minute to step back from the brink; that the political costs of the emergency declaration were too great even for this raging dumpster fire of an administration. You could see the disappointment in Trump’s face. He was unhappy with the speech, and evidently cranky to be told he couldn’t have his way. Curses! Cucked by the Establishment, again!

President Veruca Salt demanded his Wall and bet his most fundamental campaign promise on it. He walked himself into a political box canyon of a foolish government shutdown, an untenable demand, and Democrats motivated to hold the line. The speech wasn’t the usual trick escape play for the man accustomed to getting away with damn near everything; it was the exact opposite.

The Wall is dead. The shutdown will end. Donald Trump blew it, bigly.

Photo | rawstory.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: address, Daily Beast, Donald Trump, Oval Office Speech, Rick Wilson, wet fart

State Of The Union?… Broken

January 30, 2018 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

                   -“All the King’s horses and all the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again” 

Tonight, Donald Trump will deliver his first State of the Union address. No doubt we will hear how great the country is doing under his strong leadership. The official theme of Trump’s monologue will be “building a safe, strong, and proud America.”

The address is sure to be filled with many half-truths and outright lies. Trump will unquestionably take credit for a booming economy (stock market) that had its origins under the Obama administration. He will falsely claim this is all due to his tax cuts and deregulatory agenda.

But no matter what fiction Trump is willing to peddle, the majority of Americans won’t be buying the snake oil. They know better. They can see.

They can see a country divided like never before (at least not since the Vietnam War).

They can see hate crimes on the rise.

They can see racism displayed openly.

They can see a dysfunctional healthcare system.

They can see an unrelenting onslaught on immigrants.

They can see the looting of the treasury to benefit millionaires and corporations.

They can see an assault on the Constitution and the rule of law.

They can see a political party defending and supporting an incompetent and, mostly likely, corrupt president.

They can see the open rejection of political norms and institutions.

They can see a steady and continuing attack on the free press.

Many Americans are hoping the midterm elections will put an end to our national nightmare when it is believed Democrats will regain control of the House.

But even if Democrats flip the House and begin impeachment proceedings, it is the Senate that votes to expel a president. The odds that two-thirds of senators will vote for conviction are best described as slim.

One thing is for sure, however. The Trump regime will eventually come to an end. Unfortunately, it will take years, perhaps decades, to undo the damage done by Trump, and his band of enablers, to that great country Reagan once called “ a beacon of hope, a light unto the nations.”

Photo | tvo.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: address, broken, congress, Donald Trump, half-truths, House, impeachment, lies, mid-term elections, Senate, state of the union

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