The Daily Nooze

"All the news we deem fit to print"

  • Home
  • politics
  • satire
  • breaking news
  • Archives
  • Show Your Support
  • Opinion
You are here: Home / Archives for celebrate

Trump Defense Lawyers Celebrate Victory They Had Nothing To Do With

February 15, 2021 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

In true Trumpian fashion, Trump’s defense lawyers are taking credit for something they had no hand in … the Senate’s acquittal of their client on impeachment charges.

“We’re going to Disney World,” Trump lawyer Michael van der Veen joked to reporters following the trial. He was later photographed fist-bumping a colleague.

The whole world knows (as I guess so did Trump’s lawyers) that the fix was in and that their presence at the impeachment trial was nothing more than legal window-dressing. They could not lose no matter what baseless, whacked-out, bogus defense they came up with.

There was no way 17 Republican senators were going to join 50 of their Democratic colleagues to reach the two-thirds vote needed to convict Trump.

Trump’s defense lawyers did not have to be articulate, competent or prepared. It didn’t matter. They just needed to show up.

Because the Senate’s verdict was a forgone conclusion, House impeachment managers were wise not to bring in witnesses. Why further delay the inevitable? The case they presented against Trump, even without witness testimony, was open and shut. Just ask Mitch McConnell!

I wonder if Trump’s lawyers ever bothered to read the reviews of their “lawyering?” Because of their bumbling, buffoonish efforts, “My Cousin Vinny” trended on Twitter.

Of course, that is an insult to Vincent LaGuardia Gambini who won his case after winning over an impartial, some might even say hostile, jury!

Photo | Alex Brandon/AP/inquirer.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: acquittal, celebrate, defense lawyers, Donald Trump, impeachment, senate trial, the fix

That Bottle Of Champagne In The Back Of My Fridge

November 1, 2020 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

There is a bottle of champagne in the back of my fridge waiting to be consumed Tuesday night. 

I will either drink it to celebrate what I hope will be a Biden/Harris victory (or at least will look like one) or down it to drown my sorrows over a possible Trump reelection.

That bottle of champagne in the back of my fridge knows the way in which it will be indulged, but has kept mum.

That bottle of champagne knows if our 244-year-old American experiment in democracy will live or die, but not a peep.

That bottle of champagne that stares back at me every time I open the refrigerator door knows I’m neverous with anticipation, but not a hint.

Oh, the hell with you! I’m taking you out right now! Yes, I know it’s only 9 am on a Sunday but this waiting game, this uncertainty, has gotten to me.

But not to worry, my perfectly chilled friend . There is a six-pack of Stella Artois ready to take your place come election night.

Photo | delish.com

Filed Under: featured, politics Tagged With: Biden win, celebrate, champagne, drown sorrows, election, election 2020, election night, Trump win

Recent Posts

What If Trump Had Not Accepted Biden’s Offer For An Early Debate?

Many political analysts love to talk about the two pivotal moments in the 2024 … [Read More...]

  • Republicans Sound The Alarm: Harris Administration Could Threaten to Pass Laws Most Americans Actually Want
  • Some Republicans Worried Country Not Ready to Elect First Convicted Felon as President
  • The GOP Is Stuck With Two Losers

Follow us online

  • Facebook

Advertisements

Navigation

  • About Us
  • Show Your Support
  • Guest Posts
  • Great Links
  • Contact

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Copyright © 2025 The Daily Nooze.com. All Rights Reserved. "All the news we deem fit to print"™