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Trump Christmas Gift To Melania? Chia Pet

December 27, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Reprint from moronmajority.com

Just one day before Christmas, Donald Trump revealed he had not yet bought a present for the First Lady.

During a Christmas Eve video conference call to troops stationed overseas, when asked by a soldier what gift he had gotten Melania, Trump confessed he had not gotten her anything … yet:

“That’s a tough question …. I got her a beautiful card. … A lot of love. We love our family, and we love each other. We’ve had a great relationship, hopefully like you do with your spouses. … I’m still working on a Christmas present. There’s a little time left. Not much, but a little time left.”

It was widely speculated Trump did not buy Melania a gift. 

Trump has previously acknowledged his shortcomings in finding gifts for his wife. You may recall, in a Fox interview in 2018, Trump admitted he only gifted a “beautiful card” to his wife for her birthday.

Naturally, everyone thought Trump had stiffed Melania again.

But not so fast! News filtered out of the White House today that Trump did indeed buy Melania a Christmas present… a Chia Pet!

We’ve all been there. You wait until the last minute to buy a Christmas present when you suddenly realize all the good stuff has sold out. So, what do you buy? Yep, that good old-fashioned staple … Ch-Ch-Ch Chia!

In a strange twist, Trump bought Melania a Chia Pet of himself … it being the only product style to not have completely sold out at the Walmart where Trump had shopped.

Photo | Chia.com

Warning – this could be “fake”nooze!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Chia Pet, Christmas, Donald Trump, First Lady, gift, Melania, present, satire

Mr. Mueller, Another Indictment … Please

December 24, 2017 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

It is holiday time but we are not in a festive mood.

The national embarrassment sitting in the White House has zapped us of our usual holiday cheer. Try as we may, we just cannot jingle our bells or deck our halls as in years past. We need something only you can provide that will lift us out of our funk … an indictment or two.

Yes, we were happy when you announced your first indictments against Paul Manafort and Richard Gates. We were thrilled when George Papadopoulos was the first Trump aide to plead guilty in your Trump-Russia probe. But that was nearly two months ago.

We were more than ecstatic when you got former Trump national security advisor, Mike Flynn, to plead guilty to lying to the FBI. But that too was nearly one month ago.

We are in disperate need of a new dose of good news.

An indictment against Donald Trump Jr., or Jared Kushner, would do just fine.

We know you have the goods on these two loathsome human beings. Why not make your announcement now … before the start of the New Year?

We have been given a heads up by Senate Intelligence Committee member, Mark Warner, that something big is about to come down the pike.  While appearing on MSNBC this week, Warner confirmed that “more” indictments are coming. So why not now?

Call it our Christmas present.

What’s that you say? Too cruel to announce indictments at Christmas time? You and your team of investigators would be seen as mean, biased, partisan hacks?

Sorry, but a good portion of the country, along with the man occupying the Oval Office and many congressional Republicans, already see your investigation as a “witch hunt.”

But we trust your judgment. If you are waiting until after the start of 2018 to drop the hammer of justice, I guess we can wait.

God bless you, Mr. Mueller. God bless us, every one.

(Credit Image: © Xinhua via ZUMA Wire)

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Christmas, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., FBI investigation, indictment, Jared Kushner, Mark Warner, present, Robert Mueller, Trump-Russia probe

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