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The Tweet That Will Be ‘Read Round The World’ … “I Hereby Resign”

October 13, 2019 By John DeProspo 5 Comments

It is becoming more and more apparent … Don the Con will soon have no choice but to fold his tent, pack his snake oil, and skip town. It may take a “Come to Jesus” moment as experienced by another president to face impeachment, Richard Nixon, but it is coming. And as was the case with Tricky Dick, before articles of impeachment are actually voted on, a group of august, elder party leaders will tell Trump his time is up.

It goes without saying that Trump’s farewell announcement will be made via his favorite communications device … his smartphone. It also stands to reason that Trump will do all he can to spin his resignation into a positive.

Trump’s tweet may go something like this:

I, Donald J. Trump, am hereby leaving office. Unlike what the haters want you to think, I AM NOT RESIGNING. No one is forcing me out, I’m leaving of my own free will. After Making America Great Again … accomplishing all the great things I said I would (the military, massive taxes, ISIS, crime, borders, Supreme Court, judges, Second Amendment, lowest unemployed, greatest stock market in the history of the world!) I feel it is time for me to turn over the reigns to my most able VP, Mike Pence. Look for my new cable network …TrumpTV …coming soon. USA! USA! USA!

As sure as Trump is the greatest con man of all time, once he gets the right deal that protects his ass and assets, he’s outta there!

Photo | phonearena.com

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: deal, Donald Trump, impeachment, resign, Richard Nixon, smartphone, tweet

“Daddy, Have We Hit Bottom Yet”

October 10, 2019 By John DeProspo 4 Comments

As any parent who has been on a long car trip with small children will tell you, kids can get very impatient. “Daddy, are we there yet?” is the dreaded refrain of every kid anxious to get to the promised destination.

With the current occupant of the White House, I want to know when are we going to hit bottom in this seemingly endless nightmare called the Trump presidency? It appears every time I’ve predicted we’ve reached rock bottom, Trump picks up his shovel and digs an even deeper hole.

Can you get any lower than the commander-in-chief of the United States armed forces giving the go ahead to another nation to attack one of our allies? In this case it’s the Kurds in Syria who fought alongside American troops to defeat ISIS forces in that war torn country. Heck they actually led the fight on ISIS strongholds across Syria, suffering over 10,000 casualties!

Of course, if you’ve been paying any attention to the actions of the loathsome maniac currently occupying the most powerful office on earth, the answer to my question is a resounding, “HELL YES!”

What’s to stop the clearly deranged Trump from ordering a nuclear strike against Iran?

A Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert, recently questioned Trump’s mental health after he claimed to have “great and unmatched wisdom” and threatened to destroy Turkey’s economy.

“Am I the only psychologist who finds this claim and this threat truly alarming? Wouldn’t these normally trigger a mental health hold? Right and Left must set aside politics and agree that there is a serious problem here,” Gilbert wrote on Twitter.

During one of the Democratic presidential debates, then candidate Jay Inslee called Donald Trump, “The biggest threat to the security of the United States …  No question about it.”

As we are now seeing with Trump’s green lighting of the Turks to invade Syrian territory currently held by our ally, the Kurds, Trump is the greatest threat to the security of the entire world.

It is good to see that even some of Trump’s staunchest acolytes are criticizing his “decision” on Syria. Yet they remain far removed from calling for Trump’s impeachment and ouster. I’m talking to you, Miss Lindsey.

So how low can Trump go before he hits bottom? It’s the same answer to your kids’ question about arriving at your destination …  “We’ll get there when we get there!”

Yes, Trump will eventually reach the absolute bottom, but don’t be surprised as to how much more damage to our country, and the world, we may have to endure.

Photo | jewel1067.com

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: ally, Donald Trump, hit bottom, Invasion, ISIS, Kurds, mental health, Syria, Turkey

Trump Prepares For His Swan Song

October 8, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

As perhaps the greatest reality TV show comes to an end, sources close to Donald Trump say he has selected the Frank Sinatra hit, My Way, as his departure song as he boards Air Force One on his flight to his new home in Moscow.

Of course, Trump’s favorite writer, Stephen Miller, made slight adjustments to the lyrics:

And now, the end is here

And so I face the final curtain

My friends just have no fear

You’ll still have me near, of that I’m certain

 

I’ve lived a life of bull

Of scams I am the greatest gourmet

But more, much more than this

I did it my way

 

Regrets, I don’t have any

That kinda stuff is just for losers

I’ll sue you for a penny

Even if you’re the smallest accuser

 

I never planned what I would do

Trusted my gut along the byway

Of course I know you knew

I did it my way

 

Yes, there were times, but very few

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all I held my nose

And came out smelling like a rose

I faced it all and had a ball

I did it my way

 

I’ve never loved or laughed or cried

I’m not a sniveling weakling

Never content to just get by and by

You could say I did my own thing

 

To think I did all that

And may I say – never in a shy way

Oh no, oh no, not me

I did it my way

 

For what other man could do what I did

Who never ran or fled or hid

From TV studio to the Oval Office

You could say I was the bossest

The record shows I inflicted blows

And did it my way

 

Yes, it was my way

 

Photo | iloveoldschoolmusic.com

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: departure music, Donald Trump, Frank Sinatra, greatest realty tv show, Moscow, My Way, satire

For Trump, It Will All Come Down To “Let’s Make A Deal”

October 6, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

Donald Trump is trapped. For perhaps the first time in his life, he is being overtaken by events.

Facing likely impeachment by the House, what will he do?

Someone who knows him well, Barbara Res, a former vice president of the Trump Organization, believes Trump will quit or make a deal rather than get impeached.

“I think he does a lot to save face,” she explained on CNN’s Reliable Sources. “I could give you examples, but we don’t have time. But there are some things he can’t control. We’re now at the point where he can’t control this, he can’t do anything about this.”

“It would be very, very bad for him to be impeached,” she continued. “I don’t know that he would be found guilty, but I don’t think he wants to be impeached. I think that’s what this panic is about. My gut tells me he’ll leave office, resign, or make a deal, depending on what comes out.”

If Ms. Res is correct, it would appear the cornered Trump is left with three choices. Will he pick door number one, door number two or door number three?

Door Number One – Trump resigns and makes the best deal possible before the House issues articles of impeachment against him.

Door Number Two – Trump resigns and makes the best deal possible after the House issues articles of impeachment against him.

Door Number Three – Trump sells all his U.S. assets and boards an Aeroflot flight, along with his family, to Moscow.

People who know Donald Trump very well will tell you he is far from the brave fighter his ardent supporters think him to be.

I’m betting on Door Number Three. Donald Trump will do what is in the best interests of Donald Trump’s ass and assets … flee the scene of the crime before he is forced to face the music.

Photo | miro.medium.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Donald Trump, door number three, flee to Moscow, impeachment, let's make a deal, monty hall, resign

Breaking News … Trump Presidential Library To Be Located In Moscow

October 1, 2019 By John DeProspo 3 Comments

Reprint from moronmajority.com

The White House has announced the location of the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library And Arcade. It will occupy the ground floor of the new Trump Moscow Resort and Casino to be built within a stone’s throw of Moscow’s Red Square.

It is being reported that the library will contain all of Mr. Trump’s favorite books, namely the Bible and The Art of the Deal. Trump’s personal collection of Marvel Comics will also be on display.

There will be a food court located in the center of the premises featuring multiple fast food outlets as well as a fun-for-all-ages arcade hall.

One of the library walls will feature a large screen displaying Trump’s voluminous tweets in a continuous loop.

A second wall will be filled with pictures of all the people that worked in the Trump administration who were fired, resigned or imprisoned.

A third wall will be completely covered by photos of all the people, and companies, Trump stiffed over the course of his lifetime.

A fourth wall will contain a long row of exit doors.

Said a White House aide, “Mr. Trump plans to ‘retire’ to Russia and he thought it would be wise to be near his big, beautiful, never-seen-anything quite-like-it library. It is being predicted the library will become a huge tourist attraction that will give a boost to the Russian economy.”

Sources in the know are saying the entire project will be personally funded by Vladimir V.  Putin.

Photo | rbth.com

Warning – Read at your risk. This could be fake news!

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: arcade, Donald Trump, Moscow, Presidential library, Red Square, Russia, satire

Will Trump Pull A Nixon And Resign?

September 28, 2019 By John DeProspo 6 Comments

Donald Trump and Richard Nixon have a lot in common. Trump, like Nixon did, hates to pay taxes. Also like Nixon, Trump hates the press. And, of course, like Tricky Dick, Trump is staring down the barrel of impeachment.

But the two men differ in one important way … unlike Trump, Nixon was not a moron (or a “f-ing moron” as more aptly put by former Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson).

Old Milhous was smart enough to know when to fold the tent and skip town. He could read the writing on the wall. Instead of facing an impeachment trial in the Senate, that was likely to succeed, he resigned from office. OK, it did help Nixon in his decision making that a bunch of influential Republicans told him he had to leave. That has not happened with Trump … yet.

Just within the last 24 hours, two newspapers, The Boston Globe and The Orlando Weekly, have come out with basically the same headline: Forget Impeachment, Trump Needs To Resign.

Today, during an appearance at the Texas Tribune Festival, Beto O’Rourke became the first Democratic presidential candidate to say Donald Trump should resign.

“The best possible path … is for this president to resign, allow this country to heal and ensure that we come back together with the greatest, most ambitious agenda we’ve ever faced, none of it possible while he remains in office,” the former El Paso congressman said during a conversation with MSNBC’s Garrett Haake at The Paramount Theatre in Austin.

No Republican has yet come out asking for Trump’s resignation. And in today’s highly partisan political environment, it is unlikely any will.

But I’m guessing even if Mitch McConnell, or Lindsey Graham or any other Trump enabler sat him down and read him the riot act, Trump would not go.

Trump has already indicated as much. Speaking of Nixon and impeachment, Trump said to Politico this past June, “He left. I don’t leave. A big difference.”

No. No matter how much public opinion, or Republican sentiment, turns against Trump in the coming days, he’s not going anywhere. This is a man who has never been concerned enough, or smart enough, to do the right thing.

Well, unless someone makes him a “beautiful” deal, protecting him and his family for any and all future liability!

Photo | pbs.org

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Donald Trump, impeachment, moron, Republicans, resign, resignation, Richard Nixon, smart

Remember When Nancy Pelosi Talked About Trump “Self-Impeaching”?

September 26, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

They all laughed. But it appears the often-maligned Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (and I count myself among the maligners), was on to something when she consistently brushed aside calls for impeachment and instead talked about Trump “self-impeaching.”

Back in May, Pelosi said,  “The point is that every single day, whether it’s obstruction, obstruction, obstruction — obstruction of having people come to the table with facts, ignoring subpoenas. … Every single day, the president is making a case — he’s becoming self-impeachable, in terms of some of the things that he is doing.” She added, “So, he’s doing our work for us in a certain respect.”

Pelosi knew time was on her side. If she gave Trump enough rope, the self-destructive man-child would eventually hang himself.

And so it has come to pass that with Trump’s attempted strong-arming of Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky to “uncover” dirt on Joe Biden and his son, Hunter, Donald Trump has in effect impeached himself.

If Pelosi had initiated impeachment proceedings right after Robert Mueller issued his report, a divided country, and Democratic Party, may have remained divided. This was essentially the case after AG William Barr tainted the jury pool of public opinion by falsely summarizing the contents of Mueller’s report.

Yes there was great pressure on Pelosi, especially from the Party’s progressive wing, but the veteran leader knew the timing wasn’t right. She knew it would take time to get the American people to understand the Mueller report was not a “complete and total exoneration” of Donald Trump. As it has turned out, even after Mueller’s damning testimony before the House and his 448-page report, a large segment of Americans still believes Trump beat the rap.

But with the current Ukraine scandal, the facts are so simple; the corruption so pure. Trump used the power of his office to get a foreign country to help bolster his re-election prospects (sound familiar?) by withholding money already earmarked by Congress for that country’s defense. He not only has publically admitted as much but the “transcript” of his telephone conversation with Zelensky confirms the attempted extortion.

The fact is that Trump felt so emboldened by Mueller’s flop of a performance in front of the House Judiciary Committee that the following day is when he talked with Zelensky about digging up (creating?) dirt on the Bidens. Talk about hutzpah!

Pelosi was shrewd enough to know that the narcissistic Trump, after the Mueller dud, would be even more secure in his invincibility that he would eventually do something so utterly stupid, so brazenly corrupt, that it would be easy for the American public to grasp …  and would unite House Democrats behind formal impeachment.

Madam Speaker, pardon me for ever doubting you.

P.S., as of this writing, 218 House Democrats have come out in favor of the impeachment process … just enough votes to sustain articles of impeachment.

Photo | washingtonpost.com

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Donald Trump, extortion, impeachment, Mueller report, Nancy Pelosi, scandal, self-impeaching, Ukraine, Zelensky

Impeachment Junkies … Buckle Up For Some Turbulence Ahead

September 24, 2019 By John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Things are about to get real. Impeachment headwinds that have been swirling since the day Trump first set foot in the Oval Office are blowing like never before.

Nancy Pelosi’s strategy of “slow-walking” Donald Trump to the guillotine has suddenly picked up steam. What many Americans thought would happen immediately after Special Counsel Robert Mueller issued his damning Trump-Russia report, way back in March, is finally upon us.

It is being reported that after a closed-door meeting with her caucus, House Speaker Pelosi will announce a formal impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump. This may take the form of establishing a select committee to conduct the impeachment.

“The dam has burst, folks,” tweeted progressive advocacy group Indivisible after more House Democrats recently voiced support for impeachment proceedings against Trump, adding to the majority of the House Democratic caucus that already backed impeachment.

House Democrats who now support impeachment exceeds 164 out of the 235, according to ABC News.

This fast-moving development comes mostly amid new questions about whether Trump made aid to Ukraine contingent on Ukraine’s President agreeing to investigate former Vice President Joe Biden and his son, Hunter.

Meanwhile, Republicans are digging in their heels to defend Trump, with Texas Republican, Rep. Lance Gooden, introducing a resolution to remove Jerry Nadler from his chairmanship of the House Judiciary Committee.

The chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee, Tom Emmer (R-Minn.), has warned that backing the impeachment of Trump will cost Democrats their House majority in the 2020 election.

Nice try… but these scare tactics won’t work.

As more Americans learn of the unparalleled, blatant corruption of Trump and his administration, and the total, shameless enabling by the Republican Party, the public outcry for Trump’s removal will reach a crescendo that even lockstep Senate Republicans will only ignore at their political peril.

Buckle up, cowboys.

Photo | cnn.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: Democrats, Donald Trump, formal impeachment, impeachment, Nancy Pelosi

Trump Asks, Are Americans “Dumb Enough?”

September 19, 2019 By John DeProspo 2 Comments

With the latest controversy over whether Donald Trump might have risked our national security by making certain promises to a foreign leader, Trump took to Twitter to defend himself:

Another Fake News story out there – It never ends! Virtually anytime I speak on the phone to a foreign leader, I understand that there may be many people listening from various U.S. agencies, not to mention those from the other country itself. No problem!

…Knowing all of this, is anybody dumb enough to believe that I would say something inappropriate with a foreign leader while on such a potentially “heavily populated” call.

A more correct tweet would have read:

Is anyone dumb enough to believe I would not say something inappropriate with a foreign leader?

After all, this is the same ”small dude” (thanks, Kamala Harris) who spilled classified information to Russians during a White House meeting shortly after getting into office.

This is the same “small dude” who Jay Inslee, during a Democratic presidential debate, labeled “the biggest threat to the security of the United States.”

This is the same “small dude” who met with Vladimir Putin without any aides … and then took the interpreter’s notes.

This is the same “small dude” who caused the U.S. to extract “one of its highest-level covert sources inside the Russian government” in 2017 in part because of concerns that mishandling of classified intelligence by Trump and his administration could jeopardize the source’s safety.

Yes, Mr. so-called president, there are enough Americans “dumb enough” to believe anything. How else could you have gotten “elected?”

Photo | bgr.com

 

Filed Under: featured, Opinion Tagged With: "dumb enough", Donald Trump, phone call, Russians, traitor, treason, Vladimir Putin, whistleblower

Real Reason Trump Booted Bolton

September 13, 2019 By John DeProspo 1 Comment

Reprint from moronmajority.com

If you believe what is being reported, Donald Trump fired his national security advisor, John Bolton, because the two men disagreed over foreign policy issues. This type of reporting is not only inaccurate, it also lends an air of rationality to our commander in chief’s mental machinations.

Donald Trump is a man who thrives on superficiality. He got rid of Bolton because he never liked that ridiculous stache.

Some aides have privately admitted Trump constantly dissed Bolton’s snowflake facial fur … behind his back. They said Trump would ask, “Hasn’t the guy ever heard of Just For Men?”

It appears after 16 months of looking at that chalky crumb catcher, it was just too much for Trump to stomach any longer. Bolton and his upper lipholstery just had to go.

Photo | sott.net

 

Filed Under: featured, satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, dumped, firing, John Bolton, moustache, national security advisor, satire, stache, white

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