The Daily Nooze

"All the news we deem fit to print"

You are here: Home / Archives for Donald Trump

Trump Guilty Of Tweeting Premature Vindication

By 4 Comments

After yesterday’s much anticipated news about the first indictments in FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Trump-Russia investigation, Donald Trump, no doubt, breathed a sign of relief. Nowhere in the criminal charges against his former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, and his assistant, Rick Gates, did Trump’s name appear. In fact, the charges had nothing to do with collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia but everything to do with financial crimes.

“Sorry, but this is years ago, before Paul Manafort was part of the Trump campaign. But why aren’t Crooked Hillary & the Dems the focus?????,” tweeted Trump, adding, “….Also, there is NO COLLUSION!”

Unfortunately for Trump, only hours after the Manafort-Gates bombshell, we also learned of criminal charges brought against a third Trump campaign member, George Papadopoulos. Having been a well-kept secret for over three weeks, Papadopoulos pleaded guilty on October 5 of lying to the FBI about his contacts with people who claimed to have direct connections with Russian President Vladimir Putin and other senior Russian officials.

Papadopoulos, a former foreign policy advisor to the Trump campaign, is cooperating with prosecutors in Mueller’s office as they continue to investigate allegations of collusion between Trump aides and Russian officials looking to influence the U.S. election.

No evidence of collusion between your campaign and Russian officials. Mr. Trump?

According to court documents, Papadopoulos repeatedly tried to arrange a meeting between then-candidate Trump and senior Russian officials in London or in Moscow. The meeting did not take place, but court documents detail an extensive effort by Russian officials to gain access to Trump’s operation.

What is even more troublesome for Trump, the court documents show higher ups in the Trump campaign not only were aware of Papadopoulos’ efforts, but also encouraged them.

So a guy from out of the blue is the first Trump campaign member to plead guilty in the FBI’s Trump-Russia probe … and he is a cooperating witness! If that doesn’t scare the bejesus out of other Trump campaign operatives, I don’t know what.

No matter how much Trump and his surrogates try to downplay the latest news, yesterday could very well mark the beginning of the end of our national nightmare.

After hearing the news of Papadopoulos’ guilty plea and his cooperation with the FBI, I somehow couldn’t get Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” out of my mind.

“And now the end is near, and so I face the final curtain …”

Photo | forums.sailinganarchy.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s GOP Driven By Greed … And Fear

By 4 Comments

As the man currently occupying the White House devolves into a more dangerous, and embarrassing, excuse of a president with each passing day, Republican leaders are refusing to get off the Trump train. Yes, privately they may call him a moron, but publicly they remain loyal supporters. So much so that recently a retired four star general was forced to debase himself by having to defend our empathy-devoid president over inappropriate comments made to the widow of a fallen soldier.

Republican leaders know they need Trump’s pen to enact legislation demanded by their wealthy benefactors. And what is at the top of a billionaire’s wish list? Tax reform, of course! Or more precisely, tax reduction.

Earlier this week, Senate Republicans passed a budget setting the stage for the GOP’s ultimate goal of pushing through “tax reform” later this year.

It doesn’t matter that the measure is estimated to add $1.5 trillion to the deficit over the next 10 years, and contains about $4 trillion in spending cuts.

“We have a once in a lifetime opportunity to replace America’s failing tax codes,” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said on the Senate floor after the bill was approved.

One thing that can safely be said about Republican billionaires, enough is never enough.

Some political pundits have pointed out that if Republicans removed Trump from office, they would still have the pen of a willing accomplice in President Mike Pence. So why not get rid of the madman in the Oval Office?

This is were the fear comes in.

As much as many Republicans may loathe Trump, they know, as GOP strategist Rick Wilson pointed out, one mean tweet about them could ruin their political careers.

In addition, any attempt to install Pence as president would be met with intense blowback from Trump’s diehard base. The fear of their wrath is just unthinkable for any Republican politician.

It is due to this instinct of self-preservation that you’ll find the only Republicans speaking out against Trump are those who will not be seeking reelection, such as John McCain and Bob Corker.

As sad as it may be for the majority of Americans opposed to Trump, it seems the only way Trump will ever be removed from office is if the Democrats retake the House and Senate in 2018.

Or unless Mueller steps in before then!

Photo | nymag.com

 

 

Trump Fails U.S. Citizenship Test

By 2 Comments

According to recent news reports, Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, referred to Trump as a moron.

While Tillerson sought to refute the claim at an impromptu news conference shortly after the story broke, going so far as to refer to his boss as “smart,” he did not specifically deny having called Trump a dumb, stupid moron.

This Tuesday, Trump was quoted by Forbes as saying, “I think it’s fake news, but if he did that, I guess we’ll have to compare IQ tests. And I can tell you who is going to win.”

As of this date, Tillerson has not accepted Trump’s challenge.

Yesterday, a group of recently naturalized citizens issued a challenge of their own to the 45th president of the United States … “Can you pass the U.S. Citizenship Test?”

Trump took the exam and failed miserably, scoring 50% (Six of the ten questions need to be answered correctly to pass).

The self-proclaimed genius has claimed the test was fixed and contained too many trick questions.

Here are the five out of 10 “trick questions” Trump failed to correctly answer:

  1. Who wrote the Declaration of Independence? Instead of answering Thomas Jefferson, Trump answered Abraham Lincoln.
  2. What are the three branches of government? Instead of answering legislative, executive and judicial, Trump answered legislative, executive and military.
  3. Which amendment guarantees freedom of speech? Instead of answering the First Amendment, Trump answered the Second Amendment.
  4. What guarantees a citizen’s right to vote? Instead of answering the Constitution, Trump answered state legislators.
  5. What does separation of church and state mean? Instead of answering the government is prevented from officially recognizing or favoring any religion, Trump answered religion and politics cannot be taught in the same classroom.

According to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, 91% of foreign-born applicants pass the naturalization test. But, in Trump’s defense, they have an unfair advantage … they tend to study.

Photos| tusconsentinal.com, cnn.com

Caution – this could be fake news!

Can you pass the citizenship test? Click here to give it a try.

 

 

 

 

Trump Talk Of War Could Morph Into Something More Than A Distraction

By 2 Comments

There is an old saying that goes something like this: “ Nobody needs a war more than a politician who is low in the polls.”

And boy are Trump’s numbers down! Multiple surveys have found Trump to have the lowest approval ratings of any President in the last 70 years at this point in his presidency.

Of course Donald Trump does not actually want war with North Korea. But he does want to distract Americans from the serious consequences he and his regime face from the ever-tightening noose otherwise known as the Mueller investigation.

So he resorts to name-calling, something he is particularly good at. Calling North Korean leader Kim Jong-un “Rocket Man” follows in a long line of pejoratives he has used to smear his opponents. There is “Crooked Hillary,” “Little Marco,” “Lyin’ Ted,” “Crazy Bernie,” and “Low-energy Jeb,” just to name a few of Trump’s greatest hits.

But Kim Jong-un is an unknown entity. It doesn’t appear he is taking Trump’s taunt lightly.

Today North Korea’s foreign minister, Ri Yong-ho, accused the United States of declaring war on his country.

“Since the United States declared war on our country, we will have every right to make counter-measures, including the right to shoot down United States strategic bombers even when they are not inside the airspace border of our country,” said Yong-ho.

There is another old saying … “Loose lips sinks ships.” In other words, beware of loose talk.

A spokesman for the head of the UN correctly warned that fiery talk could lead to fatal misunderstandings.

Trump may think strong talk against North Korea is prime meat for his base and a distraction from FBI special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe into his links with Russia. It could also inadvertently lead to World War III.

It is way past time for the adults in the White House to reign in our toddler-in-chief. This is not a game. This is not a reality TV show.

Photo | express.co.uk

 

 

 

 

Like Dubya Before Him, Trump Is Exceeding Everyone’s Worst Fears

By 6 Comments

Admit it, even some of you Trump supporters, you never thought Trump could be so bad, so incompetent, so divisive, so petty, so …. well you name it.

Hillary Clinton didn’t.

“I really had such deep doubts about his preparation, his temperament, his character, his experience, but he’s been even worse than I thought he would be,” Clinton told MSNBC’s Joy Reid on “AM Joy.”

Just like George W. Bush’s presidency, Donald Trump and his administration have once again stained America’s reputation around the world … and after only eight months in office!

While Bush lied us into an unnecessary war in Iraq that destabilized the Middle East and world as a whole, Trump is knocking on the door of nuclear confrontation with North Korea.

Just think about this for one second. At a meeting of a world body dedicated to international peace through diplomacy, Donald Trump’s speech at the United Nations General Assembly this week contained a childish taunt of North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un, calling him “Rocket Man” who is “on a suicide mission.”

The least presidential American president to ever address the United Nations warned the “Hermit Kingdom” to watch its back because the United States would “totally destroy North Korea” if forced to defend itself or its allies. So much for statecraft!

Like George W. Bush, Trump is a national embarrassment. But it wouldn’t be so bad if making America a global laughingstock were the extent of the damage.

By talking up America’s military might and threatening other countries, Trump is not making us more secure. His irresponsible language is having the opposite effect. He is not helping the cause of world peace but making nuclear war a possibility not seen since the height of the Cold War.

Some have called Donald Trump’s “America First” rhetoric the greatest threat to world peace; his incompetence the greatest risk to international security.

Hyperbole? Maybe not.

Who could have imagined Trump’s loose little lips may one day lead to a nuclear crisis.

If only he were just an embarrassment.

Photo | cnn.com

 

Trump Challenges Kim Jong-un To A Game Of Golf

By Leave a Comment

In an effort to de-escalate tensions between their respective countries, Donald Trump has invited North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, to a friendly game of golf at his Mar-a-Lago resort.

“I’ve always said some of my best deals have been negotiated on the golf course,” boasted Trump. “The fake news media gives me such a hard time with all the golf I’ve played as president. What they don’t tell the American people is that I’m actually working while I’m golfing.”

The idea of using sports to improve relations with an adversary is not new.

When Richard Nixon sought a thaw in American relations with China in the early 1970s, he resorted to table tennis. In what later came to be known as “Ping Pong” diplomacy, the two countries that had not had diplomatic or economic relations for nearly 20 years, finally broke the ice. Nixon’s gambit turned out to be successful, resulting in opening the U.S.-China relationship and leading the U.S. to lift its embargo against the People’s Republic of China on June 10, 1971.

Already Trump’s attempt to find common ground with North Korea through the game of golf is being called “Fairway Finesse.”

Someone on the White House staff brought up the fact that there is only one golf course in North Korea and Kim is not known to be a player. Wouldn’t Trump, a lifelong golfer, embarrass a man who has probably never held a golf club?

“That’s nonsense,” snapped Trump. “From all I hear Kim is a natural athlete, like his father Kim Jong-il. I heard Kim is a big hockey fan … that he played a secret exhibition game with some of the NHL’s biggest stars and notched a Gordie Howe hat trick in his first time on the ice. And he did it while playing goalie!”

Legend has it the elder Kim was perhaps the greatest athlete of his time. It is well documented he shot five holes-in-one in his first try at golf, only to be followed by a perfect 300 game in bowling … on the same day!

Whether Kim takes Trump up on his offer remains to be seen. But, in an encouraging sign,  it is being reported that the legendary golf instructor, Butch Harmon, will be accompanying Kim’s good friend, Dennis Rodman, on his visit to North Korea next week.

The Pentagon, as the entire world, is hoping Kim accepts Trump’s invitation so that our skilled golfer and negotiator-in-chief can work his magic in getting North Korea to give up its nuclear program, making our world that much safer.

Asked for further comment, Trump said, “We’ll see what happens.”

Photo | express.co.uk

Caution – this could be fake news!

 

 

 

Trump To Return Statue Of Liberty To France

By 4 Comments

***Breaking News as reported by MoronMajority.com***

Donald Trump is deporting Lady Liberty.

By way of a controversial executive order signed yesterday, Trump is packing up the iconic symbol of American freedom and shipping her off to her country of birth.

“Since 1886, she has been standing in New York Harbor welcoming the tired, the poor and huddled masses,” said Trump. “No more. What she really has welcomed to our shores are criminals, drug dealers and rapists. And some good people, I’m sure.”

“We just can’t afford to have all those foreigners continue to take our good American jobs. And we can’t afford giving them free stuff like food, clothing and shelter, either. Did you know she actually asks other countries to send us their homeless?” Trump pointed out.

Trump has a few ideas for the pedestal that wll remain on Liberty Island.

“I think we should honor a true patriot with a statute. Robert E. Lee, a great man and fabulous general comes to mind,” offered Trump. “Or we could honor one of the greatest American presidents and my favorite, Andrew Jackson. And, by the way, there is no way a radical like Harriet Tubman is going to replace Old Hickory on the twenty-dollar bill. Not while I’m president.”

When informed of the news, French president, Emmanuel Macron, was saddened his country’s gift to America, commemorating the alliance of France and the United States during the American Revolution, was being returned.

“This truly is a dark day for liberty, democracy and for all the peoples of the world that look to America as a beacon of hope,” said Macron. ”But we will re-gift it to a country that still believes in the ideals Lady Liberty stands for … our great friend Canada.”

Mass protests have already broken out in major cities throughout the United States. Americans are up in arms over the removal of the beloved statue.

“Yes, there are some Americans who want to keep Lady Liberty, whose real name is La Liberté éclairant le monde, by the way,” said Trump. “But there are also many people who want her to go. I think many more people.”

An online petition has been started for Congress to pass a law protecting the Statue of Liberty and overriding Trump’s executive order.

Will Congress act in time?

Photo | modernliberals.com

Warning – This could be fake news!

 

God Punishing Texas For Voting Trump

By 6 Comments

Conservative Christians like to believe natural disasters are the result of God’s wrath and retribution. Sodom and Gomorrah come to mind, as does the Great Flood.

More often than not in today’s world, this means the Almighty is unhappy with man’s “homosexual agenda.”

Even though a handful of conservative preachers are blaming Hurricane Harvey’s destruction of Houston on its embrace of gay rights, few would label the state of Texas as one that has been kind to the LGBTQ community

A more plausible explanation of why God would punish the Lone Star state is that it voted decisively for Donald Trump as president.

Do you think a supreme being could be happy with a state that voted for a bigoted, amoral con man and sexual pervert? Wouldn’t God want to punish Texas?

Ken Storey, University of Tampa assistant sociology professor, certainly thinks so.

“I don’t believe in instant karma but this kinda feels like it for Texas. Hopefully this will help them realize the GOP doesn’t care about them” tweeted Storey.

Of course, the backlash to Storey’s reasonable comments was swift as they made the rounds. On Monday, the Florida school issued a statement condemning the professor’s comments, and on Tuesday it was followed with a statement saying he had been fired.

So much for freedom of speech in another Trump-loving state!

It should be noted Storey made his comments outside the work place, on his own personal twitter account.

Undoubtedly there are many Trump supporters claiming God punished Texas not because it voted for Trump but for not being faithful enough to him! To them Trump can do no wrong and wasn’t it God (with the help of the Russians) who put Trump in the White House anyway?

Question … why do most natural disasters happen in conservative, southern states? Just a coincidence?

One thing’s for sure. Once a self-sufficent, personal-freedom-loving state is hit with devastation, watch how quickly it begs for federal funds. Everyone is a socialist after a natural disaster.

Photo | (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Warning – this article may contain an element of satire!

Editor’s note – No one is making light of the devastation taking place in Houston. Our hearts go out to all the  people suffering in the aftermath of one of the worst storms in American history. Conservative Christians love to blame natural disasters on God’s displeasure with man, specifically the moral decay they see as resulting from the ever increasing rights being afforded the LGBTQ community.The headline gives religious conservatives a little bit of their own medicine by showing the absurdity of blaming the pain and suffering caused by a natural disaster on the wrath of an almighty being.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Musicians Really Detest The Donald

By 2 Comments

From Bruce to Bono and from Moby to Morrisey, many musicians hate our wannabee dictator-in-chief. Here is a list of some of the negative things popular artists have said about Trump. Whether it’s dire warnings, angry vitriol, or creative insults, these gifted performers certainly haven’t held back.

Courtesy of clickitticket.com…

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.