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Trump Asks … “Do You Miss Me Yet?”

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At both the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) and a wedding party at Mar-A-Lago, Trump asked, “Do you miss me yet?”

That Trump thinks so highly of himself is no surprise. The man is a textbook narcissist … a walking, talking, full embodiment of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

To his loyal base, Trump is nothing short of the second coming. But to most Americans, Trump is:

  1. The most incompetent president ever.
  2. The most corrupt president ever.
  3. The most willfully ignorant, incurious, president ever.
  4. The most self-centered president ever.
  5. The most vengeful president ever.
  6. The most dishonest president ever. 
  7. The most lecherous president ever.
  8. The most uncaring president ever.
  9. The most unreflective president ever
  10. The only president to be impeached twice.

Of course, the above list is not meant to be exhaustive. There, no doubt, are other unsavory categories where Trump finds himself at the top of the charts.

Question … can you really miss someone if they are still ever-present? 

Now that he has lost his platforms on Twitter and Facebook, and is basically holed up at his Florida resort, Trump is threatening to start his own media network. Many doubt this will ever happen due to the man’s sheer incompetence and the ineptitude of the people he surrounds himself with. As one headline in the Washington Post put it, “Trump considers adding a social media network to his list of failures.”

So, no, man-who once-occupied-the-White-House, we cannot miss you if you’re still around.

But if your question is, “Do you miss me now that I am no longer your president,” the answer is an unequivocal, indisputable, categorical, without-a-doubt … “Hell no!”

Photo | latimes.com

Where’s Jared?

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

Since leaving his position, in January, as White House senior advisor, Jared Kushner seems to be missing in action.

During Donald Trump’s appearance at last month’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Jared Kushner was noticeably absent from his side.

A source close to Kushner has said, “Right now, he’s just checked out of politics.”

And who could blame him!

While serving as his father-in-law’s right-hand man, Kushner was tasked with an inordinate level of responsibility. He was responsible for negotiating peace in the Middle East; he was responsible for solving America’s opioid crisis; he was responsible for diplomacy with Mexico; he was responsible for reforming care for veterans; he was responsible for reforming the criminal justice system; he was responsible for reinventing the entire government and making it work like a business; and he was responsible for leading a coronavirus task force!

Is it any wonder the man needs a break?

A close family friend has revealed the Boy Wonder, as some have called Kushner, is chilling out by spending time on his one true passion … creating art.

Much like George W. Bush after he left the White House, Kushner spends his days painting and drawing. But unlike Bush, who liked to paint portraits of important world leaders, Kushner passes the time mostly on drawings of his family.

Photo | npr.org/W. Roger Mills-Koonce

*moronmajority.com is a satirical site … seriously!

Trump Vows To Appeal Supreme Court Decision On Taxes

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

The United States Supreme Court issued a devasting decision yesterday when it refused to block the release of Trump’s tax returns to the Manhattan District Attorney, Cyrus Vance.

In what has become a reflex action whenever Trump is on the losing end of a court case, he vowed to appeal the ruling, saying it allows for the “greatest political Witch Hunt in the history of our country” to continue.

In a lengthy written response to the decision, Trump attacked the Court for letting “this ‘fishing expedition’ happen” in the first place.

No one around the former-occupant-of-the-White-House had the nerve to inform him that the Supreme Court is the highest court in the land; that it is known as the court of last resort for a reason.

It is quite possible Donald Trump believes the World Court, headquartered in the Hague, has jurisdiction over the U.S. Supreme Court but, if he had paid attention in his high school history class, he’d know the court, also known as the International Court of Justice, settles disputes involving sovereign states in accordance with international law.

Or is it possible Trump has fallen into a Louis XIV mindset … “L’etat, c’est moi”?

Photo | abc.net.au

*moronmajority.com is a satirical site … seriously!

What? Trump Will Talk About The Future Of The Republican Party At CPAC?

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According to a source, Donald Trump will be “talking about the future of the Republican Party and the conservative movement” at this week’s CPAC conference in Orlando, Florida. It seems the former-occupant-of-the-White-House will be taking time off from his usual weekend of golf to address what some have called “the largest and most influential gathering of conservatives in the world.”

It should be a neat trick, considering how the Republican Party is, well, … dead!

The Republican Party, as we knew it, entered its death throes five years ago when it decided to hitch its fortunes to a narcissistic, two-bit con man. It ceased being a major political party when it passed up the chance (twice!) to rid itself of an incompetent, criminal buffoon through impeachment.

What we have today is the Party of Trump or, as Prince might have put it, “the party formerly known as the GOP.” If there is any doubt, just look at some recent surveys showing Trump’s strength among Republicans.  In a Suffolk University/ USA TODAY poll, by a whopping margin of 46%-27%, Republican voters say they would abandon the GOP and join the Trump party if he decided to create one. Their loyalty is obviously to the man, not to a 167-year-old political organization.

Cindy McCain said the other day that the Republican Party is still up for grabs, predicting that her moderate wing of the GOP could mount a comeback.

“Our side, it’s swung way to the right. It’ll come back. It’ll come back” said McCain.

Sorry, Cindy, but I don’t think so. If there ever was a civil war among Republicans, that war is over.

Moderates like McCain, along with others such as Romney, Collins and Murkowski might want to remain blind to the fact that their beloved party is now the Party of Trump but, when you have an establishment group like CPAC rolling out the red carpet for a man who fomented a violent uprising against the Capitol, who still insists the 2020 election was stolen from him … and CPAC will no doubt cater to Trump’s fantasies … you know the GOP of old is kaput.

If anything, today’s Republican Party, if you still want to call it that, is the party of Green, Boebert, Jordon, Gaetz and the like.

Unlike McCain, I predict old-time conservatives will eventually face the facts (and their consciences), see their party has been irretrievably hijacked by Trump and his band of “wacko birds”, leave the party to declare as independents, or perhaps start a third party.

The Party of Trump seems to be here to stay for the foreseeable future (too late, Mitch … it’s a long way down from that tightrope!).

Photo | cnn.com

Trump Defense Lawyers Celebrate Victory They Had Nothing To Do With

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In true Trumpian fashion, Trump’s defense lawyers are taking credit for something they had no hand in … the Senate’s acquittal of their client on impeachment charges.

“We’re going to Disney World,” Trump lawyer Michael van der Veen joked to reporters following the trial. He was later photographed fist-bumping a colleague.

The whole world knows (as I guess so did Trump’s lawyers) that the fix was in and that their presence at the impeachment trial was nothing more than legal window-dressing. They could not lose no matter what baseless, whacked-out, bogus defense they came up with.

There was no way 17 Republican senators were going to join 50 of their Democratic colleagues to reach the two-thirds vote needed to convict Trump.

Trump’s defense lawyers did not have to be articulate, competent or prepared. It didn’t matter. They just needed to show up.

Because the Senate’s verdict was a forgone conclusion, House impeachment managers were wise not to bring in witnesses. Why further delay the inevitable? The case they presented against Trump, even without witness testimony, was open and shut. Just ask Mitch McConnell!

I wonder if Trump’s lawyers ever bothered to read the reviews of their “lawyering?” Because of their bumbling, buffoonish efforts, “My Cousin Vinny” trended on Twitter.

Of course, that is an insult to Vincent LaGuardia Gambini who won his case after winning over an impartial, some might even say hostile, jury!

Photo | Alex Brandon/AP/inquirer.com

Maybe What Democrats Need Is A Mitch McConnell?

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I can’t stand the guy. Yet, I’m in awe of his genius … his evil genius. Machiavelli has nothing on old Mitch McConnell.

There he was yesterday accusing Donald Trump of being guilty as sin just moments after voting to acquit him of what Liz Cheney called the greatest “betrayal by a President of the United States of his office and his oath to the Constitution.”

In a devastating takedown rivaling the closing arguments made by the House impeachment managers, McConnell tore into Trump for his “disgraceful dereliction of duty” saying, “There is no question — none — that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of the day.” 

So how could McConnell not vote to convict Trump? 

Here is where the evil mastermind’s cleverness comes in. Mitch voted to acquit Trump because he didn’t believe the Senate had the power to convict a president out of office. Of course, we all know that scenario came about only because McConnell refused to hold the Senate impeachment trial while Trump was still in office. Sheer brilliance!

McConnell knew that the only way his Republican colleagues could vote against convicting Trump was on technical grounds, no matter how phony, as the facts of the January 6 Capitol riot were never really in dispute. So, McConnell provided the cover … and 42 of his fellow Republican comrades, voting to give Trump a pass, wrapped themselves in the warm blanket of Mitch’s duplicity.

But McConnell’s speech after the Senate’s acquittal vote showed even more of his shrewdness.

It has been reported that McConnell wants Trump gone and out of the way. But he could not let his fellow Republicans do the job for fear of angering Trump’s loyal base. 

“President Trump is still liable for everything he did while in office,” McConnell said. “He didn’t get away with anything yet. We have a criminal justice system in this country.”

There you have it. Let someone else (state attorneys general, the Justice Dept) do the dirty work!

While Trump might be the most corrupt president in U.S. history, can there be any doubt Mitch McConnell is among the more cunning, devious political leaders ever to hold public office?

Photo | AP Photo/Susan Walsh/dcist.com

Trump Hires Top D.C. Law Firm After Exodus of Current Legal Team

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Reprint from moronmajority.com

With little more than one week before the start of his impeachment trial in the Senate, Donald Trump’s entire legal team has quit.

But, with the kind of swift action Trump has come to be known for, the Washington D.C. law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe has been hired to take up his defense.

It is believed the firm’s senior partner, Mr. Cheatem, will personally head Mr. Trump’s legal efforts.

When asked how he plans to defend the former, now twice-impeached president, Mr. Cheatem offered a very basic, elemental strategy.

“We are going to impress upon the Republican Senators who will control Mr. Trump’s fate, ‘If you wish to remain in office, you must not f**k us’.”

With such a brilliant, yet simple, legal strategy, is there any wonder why Dewey, Cheatem & Howe is D.C.’s premier law firm?

Photo | britannica.com

*moronmajority.com is a satirical site … seriously!

Trump’s Post-Presidency Priority Is To Work On Election Integrity! (No, This Is Not Satire)

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I have to admit, it was a challenge writing satirical pieces about Trump and his administration over the last four years. What started out as an attempt at light-hearted humor often ended up as Trumpian reality.

The highlight of my efforts to make fun of the-man-who-no-longer-occupies-the-White-House was a story I wrote about Trump’s deranged pardons. The article was titled, “Trump Pardons Charles Manson.” 

What made that story memorable was that it was picked up by then-presidential candidate Marianne Williamson who did not realize it was “fake news.” She tweeted to her 2.8 million followers, “There is something deeply sinister about Trump pardoning Charles Manson, even posthumously. Dog whistles of the very worst possible kind …”

The brouhaha that arose over Williamson’s faux pas made its way into many media outlets. The story even found its way into Jimmy Fallon’s monologue on the Tonight Show! Williamson withdrew her candidacy weeks later. Coincidence? Ha!

So, when I read an article today in the very conservative townhall.com, titled, “Key Advisor Reveals Trump’s Post-Presidency Plans,” I was shocked to learn just what those plans were! In any other publication the linking of Trump with election integrity would, no doubt, be parody.

Here is part of the very real piece written by Beth Baumann:

Now that President Donald Trump has left the White House, many Americans are wondering what he plans to do next. There have been rumors about him starting a new political party, known as the Patriot Party. But, according to one of his key advisors, Jason Miller, Trump plans to focus on something bigger and far more important: election integrity.

Just one day after boarding Air Force One with the Trump family on their venture from Washington, D.C. to Mar-a-Lago, Miller told “Just the News AM” that the former president has a couple of goals over the next few years, including “winning back the House and the Senate for Republicans in 2022 to make sure that we can stop the Democratic craziness.”

“You’re also going to see him emerge as the nation’s leader on ballot and voting integrity,” he said.

According to Miller, Trump wants to focus on voter integrity but that work will never take place in Washington, D.C. because Democrats don’t believe there is a threat to America’s elections. Instead, Trump is likely to work with individual states and state legislatures to create reforms. 

If you have the time, read the comments of some of Trump’s more ardent supporters. The belief that Trump had the election stolen from him, and that he is right to fight for “fair elections,” is all too real to those wackadoodles.

Sorry, President Biden, but there can never be normalcy again in our great country until a writer’s attempt at political satire is no longer at his peril.

Photo | Forbes.com

We Won The Cold War, Right?

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When Vladimir Putin invested a small fortune to try and get Donald Trump elected in 2016, he knew he might be flushing his rubles down the crapper.

But with Russia’s help, Trump shocked the world and won the presidency (well not the popular vote but the antiquated Electoral College vote).

Now that Trump is about to leave office, it’s safe to say Putin could never have imagined how successful his investment to smear Clinton and promote Trump would turn out to be!

And while Trump did not win a second term, for Vladimir, the chaos, division, violence and mockery Trump wrought on the United States is priceless, far outweighing the billions spent on conventional weaponry like nukes, tanks and planes.

But we did win the Cold War, right?

Photo | nbcnews.com

No Unity Is Possible Until Republicans Renounce Their Support Of The “Big Lie”

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During today’s impeachment hearing, many House Republicans called for national unity. A good number of those Republicans are the same ones who fanned Trump’s false claim that the presidential election was stolen from him … that Joe Biden was not the lawfully elected next president of the United States.

How can we come together as a nation when nearly 70% of Republicans believe the “Big Lie?”  How can we move on with the business of the country when a large number of Republican representatives and a handful of senate Republicans are still peddling the “Big Lie?” How can we restore faith in our democracy, and the Constitution, when 197 out of 207 Republican House members refused to honor their oath and vote for Trump’s impeachment?

Democratic Rep. Jim McGovern, chair of the House Rules Committee, said today during his closing remarks, “We will never have unity without truth and also without accountability.”  He chided his Republican colleagues for their hypocritical pleas for unity.

 “Some of my Republican friends have been trying to lecture us about unity here today — unity after they voted to overturn a free and fair election in the United States of America, but also preaching unity and not acknowledging that for four years many of them gave oxygen to Donald Trump’s conspiracy theories,” McGovern said. 

The fact is that a majority of Republican voters firmly … and fervently … believe the election was rigged. They accept the false notion that Trump votes were not counted or somehow changed to Biden votes. They believe scores of dead people voted for Biden. Many are pledging to never accept or acknowledge Joe Biden as their duly elected president. 

It will be hard to dissuade these Trump voters of the many conspiracy theories fed them by Trump and his willing accomplices … Congressional Republicans and right-wing media outlets. Many believe so strongly in the “Big Lie” that they traveled miles to be part of the mob that stormed the Capitol last week, some claiming they were the true patriots willing to die for their country and the Constitution.

A necessary first step in bringing about national unity is for us all to be on the same page when it comes to the essential truth about the 2020 election.

The 2020 presidential election was “the most secure in American history.” This assessment was put out in a joint statement by the Election Infrastructure Government Coordinating Council (GCC) and Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA).

Those Republican senators (I’m looking at you Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley) and House Republicans (yes, you Jim Jordon and Mo Brooks) need to do the right thing and speak the truth to those misguided and misinformed Republican voters. Fox News has to do some soul searching and try to walk back some of its loyal viewers from the ledge. They all have to own up to their role in spreading the “Big Lie” which led directly to the January 6 attack on the Capitol. 

I know, I know, keep dreaming!

The said truth is that even if this were in the realm of possibility, it might not be enough to get through to those ardent Trump loyalists who would no doubt brand any Republican who dares tell the truth, and attack the “Big Lie,” as a traitor or a RINO. 

Yet, do you see any other way?

Photo | AP/J.Scott Applewhite

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